Chapter Thirty One: Sorta-Kinda But Not Really Grey Company
(We find ourselves still in Dunharrow, only it is now the morning after we last left our heroes. Much has happened since last night. Pippin was caught looking into the Palantir by Gandalf, who immediately got on Shadowfax and headed off to Minas Tirith with the young Hobbit. This, obviously, left Merry in a state of devastation, seeing as he had never actually been separated from his young cousin before. After a while, Aragorn had convinced him that Pippin would be fine, and sent him off to bed under the care of Eowyn. Now, with that explained, we find ourselves sitting around a fire where the girls are eating breakfast. They are chatting sleepily, seeing as the sun has not risen entirely.)
Stevie: You know, the stale bread and dried deer meet can�t be very nutritious.
Van: I wouldn�t think so. (whispers) We could be eating Eowyn�s stew.
Stevie: Oh no, don�t even remind me of that. That was just�..rancid.
Kit: (shudders) Gack. Don�t remind me either.
Stevie: Anywho, what�s on the agenda for today?
Kit: Well, I was under the impression that you had to wait for some random Sprite-ish person to arrive with Aragorn�s sword and that we had to do some more work in the department of guy shopping for Van.
Van: (unenthusiastically) Whoot.
Stevie: Oh, come on, Van! We�ll find you a guy soon.
Van: I guess. Anything else random going to happen today?
Kit: I don�t know. I think it is going to be a good day, though. For all of us�..maybe.
Stevie: Whoa. Hold on a second, I just remembered something.
Van: What? Not something bad, I hope.
Stevie: If I remember correctly, The Grey Company is supposed to meet up with us�..I want to say it was on the Fords of Isen, but because we moved a bit fast, they might meet up with us here.
Kit: Is that a good thing?
Stevie: Yeah. A bunch of Aragorn�s ranger kinsmen dudes are going to meet up with him and go with him through the paths of the dead.
Kit: Oh yeah. Aren�t Elladan and Elrohir supposed to be there as well?
Stevie: They should be. I don�t see why they wouldn�t be, anyway.
Van: (pouting) Do you think any of them are cute?
Kit: Who? The rangers?
Van: Yeah, the rangers.
Stevie: I don�t know about cute, but maybe you�ll get lucky.
Van: That�d be nice. I really need a good snuggle right about now.
Kit: Well, let�s go cheer up Merry for a little while and we�ll see what goes on from there, okay?
Van: Sounds good to me.
Stevie: Aighty then. Onward to cheer up our wee little Hobbity dude in despair!
(Meanwhile, back at the Gladden River, Harper is inside the little house sleeping near the fire, or at least she was. She stirs, and looking around, she notices that Boromir is not there. So, our young heroine stumbles out of bed, gets into her boots, and makes her way outside. It�s a nice, warm, and sunny early morning, and she finds Boromir doing something funky to a fuzzy creature of sorts.)
Harper: (not fully awake) What are you doing?
Boromir: (looks at her and smiles) Glad to see you�re finally awake. And, for your information, I am skinning a rabbit.
Harper: Oh. Eww. (pauses) Wait. You caught a rabbit?
Boromir: More than one. Four, actually.
Harper: (perks up slightly) Oh yay!
(Harper sort of�..bounces�..is the word, I suppose, over to him and bends down and kisses him. He laughs, glad to see she�s in a good mood, but slightly confused by her odd behavior.)
Boromir: What was that for?
Harper: You made me proud!
Boromir: (beaming slightly) Really?
Harper: Yeah! I�ve been bothering you about your severe lack of skill in the areas of hunting, and then I wake up this morning, and look! You proved me wrong!
(Boromir goes and gets this dazed little look on his face like a seven-year-old boy who just got blown a kiss by the equally as young and stupid girl of his dreams. In other words, he�s in a happy love-sick puppy dog�s lala land. Sighing contentedly, he goes back to skinning his rabbits, and Harper, feeling the urge to puke at the sight of the skinless rabbit, goes back into he house.)
Harper: I feel ditsy today. I�m all bouncy and Boromir is acting like a little kid who�s in love for the first time. Which he is�..minus the little kid part. But he�s acting like a little kid. Which is okay, because it�s kind of cute, and he got food.
(While, Boromir, outside skinning his rabbits, still has a dazed expression on his face.)
(Whilst our friends at the Gladden River are behaving like a bunch of ushy-gushy love-infected hippies, the aforementioned Grey Company has made its way to Dunharrow. They are riding up to the encampment on the side of the mountain, and when they get there, they are greeted by the sight of three odd looking girls, a young woman of Rohan, and a small child with funky looking feet running around yelling at each other. At the sight of the company of grungy rangers and two Elves, they stop.)
Stevie: Hail Rangers of the North! And those two Elf guys who are unfortunately related to that uber-wench Arwen!
Kit: Oh, nice one, Stevie. That was a very formal greeting you gave right there.
Stevie: Wasn�t it?
(The Company halts on their horses, and one of the Rangers and two others, obviously Elves, dismount. They approach the girls and bow slightly. Then the ranger starts speaking.)
Ranger: My ladies, I must say, you come up with fascinating greetings that in some places you would lose your head for uttering.
Stevie: Well, that�s all right. Who needs a head? They�re definitely overrated. So, who�re you?
Ranger: My name is Halbarad, and you seem to already know my other Elvish companions.
Kit: Yo Elrohir, Elladan. How�s it hanging, dudes?
Elladan: Well enough, Kit, thank you.
Stevie: Yeah, we know them. Obviously, that is Kit, I am Stevie, and this is Van.
Van: (waves) Hi.
(Halbarad nods and smiles at each of the girls in turn, but his smile seems to broaden as he looks upon Van. Van just does her thing and smiles, nothing more. Stevie, sensing the approaching awkward moment, nods in the direction of the tents where Theoden and Aragorn are.)
Stevie: I�m assuming you�ll be wanting to talk to Mr. Kinglypants and His Royal Highnessness, so if you would follow me.
Halbarad: Mr. Kinglypants and His Royal Highnessness?
Stevie: (smirks) Theoden and Aragorn. That�s what I call them.
Halbarad: One would think that would also lose you your head.
Stevie: Well, let�s just say I�ve got some special connections with His Royal Highnessness that you don�t know about, and I can call Mr. Kinglypants whatever I want because I�m the only person in the world to ever have the audacity to throw mashed potatoes at him. So there, ha.
(And so, the three girls and three guys mosey on over to Theoden�s tent. Of course, Halbarad is eyeing Van the whole time, and Van is trying not to pay any attention to him. They all go into the tent and are greeted by Aragorn.)
Aragorn: There you are Stevie, my love. I was wondering what trouble you were getting into.
Stevie: I didn�t get into trouble. For the thousandth time, I am trouble! By the way, I brought your Ranger buddy and your foster brothers over here to say hi.
(Aragorn greets his brothers and Halbarad cheerily, actually giving them hugs and stuff. They all seem creeped out by it, not to mention that it now clicks for Halbarad about what Stevie really meant when she said she had connections with His Royal Highnessness.)
Elrohir: We thought you could use some help, Estel, so here we are.
Elladan: Yes, and we bring news from Father. He says, and I quote, �Use the Paths of the Dead, Aragorn, or all of Middle-earth is going to die. By the way, don�t bring those insane girls with you, they�ll ruin everything.�
Stevie: (shocked) No way, man! He did not say that.
Elrohir: He did.
Kit: You are so going to have to get medieval on his hiney, Stevie.
Stevie: (cracks knuckles) Yeah, it�s been a while since I last had some good old-fashioned revenge.
Aragorn: No revenge. Not now. You have to go to Lorien with Haldir. After the world is saved, then you can have revenge. Understood?
Stevie: (mock salute) Yes, Your Highnessness.
Aragorn: Now, get you gone. I have things to do. Go spend time with Merry and Eowyn, you got me?
Van: One question first?
Aragorn: Alright.
Van: Hey, Halbarad, why do you call your company the Grey Company if it isn�t even gray? I mean, you�re all wearing green and brown. What�s up with that?
Halbarad: I have no idea. Just seemed like the thing to name it.
Van: Oh, so you�re the Sorta-Kinda But Not Really Grey Company?
Halbarad: I guess you could say that.
Stevie: Well, hey, that�s alright�..if you like confusing people like that.
Halbarad: I didn�t name it that. (points to Elladan and Elrohir) They did.
Kit: Silly Elves, naming isn�t for the color blind!
Aragorn: All right, all of you out. Get you gone, now!
Stevie: (leaving with Van and Kit) Okay, okay. We�ll be outside�..not getting into trouble.
