Chapter Eighteen: Awakenings of All Shapes and Sizes
(We see Harper sitting on the ground near the boat with Boromir lying in it. Surprisingly, she is sitting on the river bank where two rivers meet. Apparently, our heroine made it to her destination.)
Harper: Here! At last! Damn those Elves. Trying to stop me from going further north. Haldir can be as peeved at me as he wants. I can�t take Boromir there. To heck with the Lady�s visions. She�s creepy. Finally at the Gladden River. Wasn�t quite as long as I sad supposed. Now I just have to get him away from the Anduin before he decides to wake up and try to go downstream or something.
(Harper gets back up and begins to shove the boat off the bank into the water when a groan is in the boat.)
Harper: Crap. Me and my big mouth. He�s not quite awake yet. I still have time. Hold on, love. We�re going for a wee bit of a ride.
(Harper pushes the boat all the way into the water and starts pushing it up the Gladden, away from the Anduin as fast as she can. This should be interesting.)
(Meanwhile, back on the plains of Rohan, our four heroes are riding towards Fangorn Forest to search for Merry and Pippin. Aragorn looks through the pile of dead orcs and Uruks and eventually gives up, until he realizes that the Hobbits left a trail that leads straight into Fangorn Forest.)
Stevie: This place is creepy.
Legolas: The trees�..they�re whispering to each other.
Aragorn: Gimli! Lower your axe.
Gimli: Oh!
Stevie: Somebody�s here.
Legolas: Saruman�..
Stevie: I don�t think so.
Aragorn: Who else could it be? Eomer warned us about him.
Stevie: Just wait. I think Saruman is busy elsewhere. (chuckles at the thought of Kit, Van, and Saruman in the Orthanc.) Just wait. No, put your weapons away. I don�t think you�ll need them. Trust me. Please?
Legolas: I trust her. Let�s do as she says.
(No sooner had they put their weapons away than a figure appears in front of them. The figure appears in this really bright white light, blinding the four of them.)
Aragorn: You said it wouldn�t be Saruman!
Stevie: It isn�t! Gandalf! Knock it off! The light hurts.
(The light dims to reveal Gandalf wearing a white robe and he has a spiffy cool staff. Totally goes with the outfit.)
Gandalf: I come back to you now at the turn of the tides.
Stevie: That�s convenient.
Aragorn: Gandalf? This cannot be! You fell.
Gandalf: I did.
Stevie: We don�t have time to do this! Gandalf, we need to leave, now. Have you seen Merry and Pippin?
Gandalf: Yes, they are in the care of a dear friend of mine. Worry not about them. Now we must ride to Edoras, and to the Golden Hall of Meduseld.
(So off go our five companions, out of the forest. Gandalf calls Shadowfax, the coolest horse ever. Together, they run off towards Edoras.)
Treebeard: Something is going to happen now that hasn�t happened in a very long time.
Pippin: What�s that?
Treebeard: An Entmoot.
Pippin: What�s and Entmoot?
Treebeard: It�s a gathering of the Ents.
Merry: There are more of you?
Treebeard: Of course, there are, young Meriadoc.
(Treebeard let Merry and Pippin down and sent them off to do something to keep them preoccupied. Entmoots always take a long time because the Ents talk in Entish and it takes them forever to say anything of any importance. And so the moot begins.)
(No we�re back at the Gladden River. Harper has the boat up on the River bank and has all of the stuff out of the boat. She is sitting beside the boat, watching Boromir, who seems as though he will be waking up sometime soon.)
Harper: (quietly) Come on, Boromir. Time to wake up. I didn�t run you all the way down here because I thought you were waking up and then to have you stay knocked out. Come on, love.
Boromir: (opens his eyes and blinks, looking around) Where am I? Harper? What�s going on? Frodo? (goes to sit up but Harper pushes him back down) Where is everyone?
Harper: They�re all very far away. Far out of our reach.
Boromir: (furrows his brow) What happened? Why does my head hurt so?
Harper: You did the inevitable and then I whacked you in the back of the head with a stick.
Boromir: I did what?
Harper: What do you think you did?
(Boromir just looks at her for a few moments and then his eyes widen suddenly and he tries to sit up again. Harper just pushes him back to his makeshift �bed� in the bottom of the boat.)
Boromir: I tried to take the Ring from Frodo! You were there�..and you stopped me. Did I hurt you? I remember you jumped on me before I could grab Frodo. Did I harm you?
Harper: (strokes the hair on the top of his head) No. You didn�t hurt me. You never go far enough to hurt anyone.
Boromir: And then you hit me in the back of the head�..then everything went dark.
Harper: Yeah. I�m sorry about that, but you wouldn�t listen to me. I had to stop you.
(Boromir seems to contemplate this for a while. Harper just sits silently by the boat and watches him. After a while he starts looking back and forth at the sky, and then he looks around at all of the surroundings that he can see from the boat. He then sits up quickly, batting away Harper�s hand when she tries to push him back down.)
Boromir: Harper, where are we? This isn�t Amon Hen. Not Parth Galen. Nowhere near do I hear the sounds of the Falls of Rauros. Where are we?
Harper: We�re on the banks of the Gladden River.
Boromir: (looks at her, shocked, and somewhat angry) We�re where?
Harper: You heard me. We�re on the banks of the Gladden River.
(He goes to stand, but is a little unsteady. Harper jumps up and helps him set out of the boat. Once he�s regained his balance he turns and looks at Harper.)
Boromir: This cannot be! That�s nearly a four hundred mile journey up the Anduin! Upstream! How did we get here and why in the name of all that is good are we so far north when we need to be in the south?
Harper: I brought us here.
Boromir: (looks skeptical) You brought us, boat and all, four hundred miles upstream to the Gladden River?
Harper: (crosses her arms over her chest) Yes I did.
Boromir: How? You are not strong enough! And why? What were you thinking?
Harper: I was thinking that I had to do what was best for you.
Boromir: You�re a woman! What would a woman know about what is best?
Harper: I know that had I not stopped you from taking the Ring from Frodo you would have died! I know that much! Had I left you where you were, the Uruks that attacked us would have killed you in your defenseless state. I took you with me off into the forest and hid there with you until everyone had left!
Boromir: How do you know such things? Where did the others go?
Harper: Frodo and Sam left for Mordor alone. Merry and Pippin were taken by orcs. Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and Stevie went out in search of them.
Boromir: Do they know about me? About us?
Harper: No, they don�t. And it will stay that way until Stevie tells them otherwise. How I know all this, I cannot tell you. Not yet. You just have to trust me right now. We must stay here.
Boromir: (angry) And leave the others to fight Sauron by themselves? Abandon them? In the end they will be defeated! Evil will spread, and soon we will reach a fate no better than theirs!
Harper: I can�t guarantee that won�t happen, but we will face it from here. You are not going to Gondor.
Boromir: They need�
Harper: (sternly) They need you to stay here. I have changed the course of history by saving you. If you leave here you will die. You will make more changes that will affect the outcome of this war. If you love your friends and your people you will listen to me for once in you�re life!
Boromir: You could not stop me. What if I refused to listen to you?
Harper: (looking him in the eye) I would kill you.
Boromir: Are you threatening me?
Harper: I don�t make threats. I make promises. If you try to leave here, I will kill you.
Boromir: You�re serious, aren�t you?
Harper: Yeah, I am. I want you to get some things through that thick skull of yours. I love you, and I always will. I don�t care that you tried to steal the Ring from Frodo. I�ve already forgiven you for that, and everything else. You don�t need to redeem yourself for that mistake, because I know that�s what you�re going to try and do. I don�t want an apology and I don�t even want you to admit that you were wrong. The only thing I ask of you now is that you stay here. If you won�t do it for yourself, then do it for me.
Boromir: (holding his arms out) Come here, you.
(Harper steps forward and Boromir wraps his arms around her, holding her tight. She rests her head on his chest, and he brings his chin down to rest atop her head.)
Boromir: Why of all places did you choose the Gladden River?
Harper: Because it has pretty flowers.
Boromir: How would you know? Have you been here before?
Harper: Nope. I read about it once.
Boromir: So you chose a place because it has pretty flowers? That�s very unlike you.
Harper: Shows how much you know about me then.
Boromir: Than will you tell me so I might know you better?
Harper: I could, but then I�d have to kill you.
Boromir: (chuckles) I would rather die than go a moment longer knowing nothing of the woman I love.
Harper: Oh, well if you aren�t Mr. Romantic. I love sincerity.
Boromir: More than you love me?
Harper: Never! But I love you more when you�re sincere.
(Meanwhile, our other buddies have already arrived at Edoras. Apparently they�ve been busy, because Theoden just became normal again. We recognize Eowyn kneeling by her uncle who seems to be putting together all that has happened recently. Aragorn and Legolas are standing nearby, Gimli is standing with his foot atop a certain Wormtongue, who Stevie is currently kicking him every time he so much as breathes.)
Theoden: (looking at Eowyn) I know your face. Eowyn!
Eowyn: (gives him a hug) Uncle!
(Theoden and Eowyn continue to have their little reunion until Theoden notices a certain Wormtongue occupying a certain space under Gimli�s foot.)
Theoden: (turning towards Womtongue) You!
(Gimli moves out of the way and Theoden grabs Wormtongue and drags him to the doors which he proceeds in throwing him out of. Womtongue then starts rolling down the steps.)
Wormtongue: My Lord, do not do this! I have done nothing but serve you! I have done you no wrong!
Theoden: (raising his sword) I�m sure.
Aragorn: (grabbing Theoden�s sword and stopping him) Enough, my Lord! Enough blood has been spilled on his account!
(Theoden seems to realize the sense in Aragorn�s words, and turns his back to Wormtongue who gets up and flees the city. Then Theoden seems to realize something.)
Theoden: Something is not right. Where is my son? Where is Theodred?
Gandalf: I do suppose you had better come with me, Your Highness.
(Theoden and Gandalf walk off talking. Gimli is just staring around, and Legolas looks like he�s sort of dead, only he�s standing there.)
Stevie: (jumps on Aragorn�s back) Aiiiieeeee!
Aragorn: (grunts) Stevie, what are you doing?
Stevie: I�m jumping on your back.
Aragorn: Might I inquire as to why?
Stevie: (kisses the side of his head) Because I love you.
Aragorn: That doesn�t make any sense to me. You are a strange one.
Stevie: (gets off) Yep, I know. Everything here is strange. It�s like the past few days have been fast forwarded and stuff. Gee, I wonder what everyone is up to.
Aragorn: (looks at her) What do you mean by everyone?
Stevie: (scratches her head) Everyone, I guess. I mean they�re all still out there somewhere.
Aragorn: Would you care to explain that?
Stevie: Not now, love. Later, I promise, but not now.
Aragorn: Why not now? Why does it have to be later?
Stevie: Because now is designated cuddle with Aragorn time. Come on! I need some sleep.
Aragorn: (smirks) Well, I suppose it wouldn�t hurt. I have a feeling it might be a while before we do anything important anyway.
Stevie: (gasps) Are you saying that cuddle time is not important?
Aragorn: (looks shocked) Of course not! Cuddle time is a necessity for my everyday life! I don�t think I would live very long without it!
Stevie: Oh, alright. If you said something like �no, I�m too manly for cuddle time� you were *so* sleeping on the floor tonight!
Aragorn: Can�t have that, can we?
Stevie: Of course not! Let�s go find someplace to sleep.
Aragorn: I�m sure Eowyn can help us.
Stevie: I�m sure she can, but we aren�t going to ask her.
Aragorn: Why not?
Stevie: Because she has the hots for you and it�s best if you just ignore it.
Aragorn: What are you talking about?
Stevie: Ranger Dude, are you totally blind? She was like drooling all over you. It�s not important. She has to get hitched to someone else anyway. Let�s go!
Aragorn: (smiles and takes Stevie�s hand) As you wish, My Lady.
Stevie: I so totally love this place. All the hunks have such great manners!
