| The Christian view: If you were a Christian and you died you would go to 'Heaven' or 'Valhallah' were you would indulge in vomitariums and sodomy for the rest of eternity. If you were bought up in a non-christian socitiy you would have to spend the rest of your afterlife with your head in a bucket of snakes whilst a man with horns and hoofs stuck a pitchfork up your behind (this was thought of as less pleasurable than sodomy.) They also believed that a super man, who was the son of god, came down from Valhllah to Earth. He could shoot lasers from his eyes and become invisible using his magic ring and other voll stuff. People didn't like him much so they nailed him to a cross until he died. For many years afterward people wore little crosses around their necks to remind them what an arrogant, spoilt little brat he was. God got angry and made it rain on earth for, like, a month or something so everyone had to apologise so then God said it was ok. People still liked God because he was just and kind to all (exept for the non christians, and homosexuals and women and the people who nailed his son to a plank of wood.) Although God was just and kind he still alowed war, famine, rape, disease, volcanos, earthquakes, murder, hate, racism, sexism, torture, tidal-waves, peadophilia and massacres to happen to the perfectly innocent as well as letting small children get hit by cars because it was all part of his great plan. |
