index

This site is dedicated to the memory of my son, who died in utero at 28 weeks gestation. I carried him for six weeks knowing he was going to die. At the moment, this is under construction still because I need the space for this front page to add any web-rings I join. I hope you find your visit here informative and helpful if you have been diagnosed as carrying, or having had, a child diagnosed with Patau's Syndrome (T13) or Edward's Syndrome (T18). You will find my story written on the pages to come, be able to see photos of him and view a list of 'Useful Contacts' on the pages to follow.

I never dreamt in my life that I would feel such emotional pain as I do with the loss of my son. I have had many traumatic experiences in my life, but this was the ultimate for me. The one thing I dreaded happening to me happened. I shall never forget the day when I did the pregnancy test and I was so elated and happy at being pregnant - then, a little while later I was to feel the total opposite to the extreme when I was told Kyle was going to die; despair and pain. It is nearly two years since his passing, I have writtten My Thoughts on how things are and have been for me since then.

Below is a Scan taken on 03.03.00 - the day I found out Kyle was very 'ill' ; also the day I decided to have an amniocentesis. On 07.03.00, 4 days later - I was told he had PATAU's SYNDROME (T13)

I am not a religious person, but I like to think that my son has gone to somewhere much better and peaceful than this earth.

Since I have done this website for my son, I have also lost another baby. The foetus (as it would be known in medical terms), was not as far in the pregnancy than Kyle was. The loss, however, is just as great to me. |Still peoples stupid remarks hurt me. I do not think people think about what they say at a time so painful to someone. If ever I have felt like I do not know what reality is like, it is now. Losing Kyle was scarey, but I knew what to expect - with this miscarriage on 23 JULY 2002, I did not. I was very scared, alone and sad. I named the 'baby' JADEN because that name could be given to a boy or girl. A week before I lost Jaden, I went to Kyles grave to ask him to look after his brother/sister until I could be with them both again. Even though 2 days before I lost the baby, I was told the pregnancy looked 'promising'. I just 'knew' as I did with Kyle.

To date, I have received NO bereavement counselling for my loss of Kyle, which does not surprise me at all. This site is dedicated to both my heavens angels babies - KYLE and JADEN. God Bless you both.

Children are a blessing and a privilege to have. I have now been blessed with a son, Joshua, born 27th September 2003. He is a blessing because I never thought I would have another baby. I will always miss Kyle and wish he was with me, growing up. He would have been 4 this year (2004). Joshua has brought me much hope and joy into my life. Thanks be to God.

Happy New Year to everyone who visits this site (2004)