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i am sooo nervous about this morning.... i just want it out of the way. I can sing... i can sing in tune.... that doesn't mean its a nice voice. So yeh i am singing good charlotte -- change... a lovely song that i will ruin. i want to sing this song "guttermouth -- lipstick" "your worthless your lazy your stupid alittle over weight now gimme 20 bucks" lelele ahh good song.

Yeh most of today i will actually probably spend at school, because i will actually DO work there. Unlike staying in my house where i will do NOTHING and just sit and watch a film and eat potato smileys and chicken dippers... which isn't a good diet to live on. Gotta go and... practise my voice or something... i dunno...

yyyyaaawwnnnn.... me = sleepy. So lately i can't stop listening to the ataris. I've always been reluctant to listening to all there albums... well i have 3 of them.. i'm not actually sure how many there are. Blue Skies... very much the best but i guess i'm trying to break them all in and learn all the words. I would like to see them. There playing all around england soon.

My house is again quiet from the weekend, its just me and my mum. So the house seems extra big, quiet and cold this christmas. My hands are cold... today is the last day before we start doing practical exams. I am going to beg my music teacher to let me drop this recording session because i am CRAP. I can't sing, can't play the piano or do much. I can just drum, and i can't even do that well. So yeh... i'm going to play it one more time. Dashboard that is.

ahhhhhhh such a lovely weekend. SUCH a lovely weekend! friday was sooo fun. I love partys i love meeting new people, espeacially when those people are absolutley lovely and funny and incredibly cool like, oh gawd can't spell her name, Mckayla and Racheal and Liz they are so lovely and i love Katrina and Amanda. It was very fun.

Then saturday Lauras house, that was mega fun. Hmmm yummy Rob. ohhh and Laura and Patty!

Then sunday. Meet my lovely family and do SOME of my english... nearly done... nearly. Then see my lovely Rob who is yummy. yum yum yum. Such a lovely weekend. So you see i did not have time to update. But i did indeed have a great weekend. My sister has gone to New York now! She will get me stuff! wheee stuff! cheap stuff! this weekend was so great...

I forgot to say! Me and my mummy put up the christmas tree yesterday! I put the fairy on top. She is gorgeous. We normally have a HUGE tree.. but this year we have a small one because we're going away. It has roots though! So we are going to plant it in our garden and hopefully it will grow big... well i hope so. ohh no friday five again :( oh wells... i better be off! ohh yeh and..

tonight i am seeing my good work experience buddies. So i prob won't update till saturday latish time. Even sunday. I am trying to work on afro boy... its hard being so busy and popular! You know... i'm just so cool, can't turn anyone down :) joking! see yas have a nice weekend whatever you're up to.

05/12/02 time: 11:18 pm
song: Brand New -- Soco Ameretto Lime (just jealous cos we're young and inloveee)

Please wait for the new background to load up. It takes a while. Its worth it. I love it. Possibly my favourite actually. I really like trees... there really pretty. The way the branches hang. So i hope you like it. And i hope you appreciate Chris from D.C at the start dressing up as Santa! took me along time to get him in that suit!

05/12/02 time: 10:53 pm
lyric: "aslong as your liveeee, here i am, i promise i will take you there!!!!"

ahhhh i love being happy, i love it when i'm all smiley and everything is so dandy. I found out today my feet do a lot of my happiness for me. They like all wave around when i am lying down. Its funny. Okay it is mega late... for me... but i am going to do this background! Just for you!

okay i got a new background maybe up tomorrow... i can't be assed with the html at the mo, and its ofcourse christmas themed! been playing the old ex-miss by new found glory ahh another memory of last year. i have dayjarvo.. i can't spell. But i know why it is! and i hate it! grrr 17 mins... and counting.

04/12/02 time: 6:12 pm
lyric: "the partys on, the spirits up! We're here tonight! and thats enough! simply havin' a wonderful christmas timee"

i have a christmas album on... it is quite good. Not as good as the old christmas tape we had THAT was the best... but still its good. Making me smile and remember the times me, my brother and my sister were in the car singing along. ahhh classic times of childhood.
"oh i wish it could be christmas everydayyyy"
ohhh yeh! This song rocks! "simply havin' a wonderful christmas time!" ahhhhhhh yehh... being a little kid. No worrys. Good years... good years. All you cared about was being amused.

i know its a poop picture, theres no light in my bedroom. All the stuff on my wall though.. thats my memory stuff.

So the concert went soooo good yesterday. It was really really exhausting trying to get everything right. I mean i only put the backing tracks on and all the music and i was having a hard time. I did have to rush in and out though because i needed to get on stage. Its like being on a high though i swear. If i could do that everynight... woah... amazing. The whole place was sold out. There were the popular kids there. You know how it is. All Rob and that were there, which made me mega happy. I love them lot they mean so much to me. So i came home... my mummy let me have the day off today. :) thankyou mummy. I sorted out my room, sorted out my tiredness, did SOME of my english. ohh yeh my mummy said she thought it would be poo but she loved it. I am proud. I think our music class should be proud. I tell you what, Stephanie Hedges... she is beautiful and brilliant. I hope she becomes famous she deserves it.

Bored.... sitting in my graphics room, can't be bothered to do anymore designs. I want to check my mail, but it won't let me. How sucky. So i hope tonight goes well... it should do. I get last lesson off! Wo! no spanish! no mrs howards and her moaning screechy voice!

Yeh.... shes back... the smurf is back! That must mean its nearly your birthday! Remember last year at all? ahhh i do... it was coming up to "new found glory" and rx bandits and fenix tx... i was so excited. I got the coolest little free cd that i found bands like the starting line and finch. ahh good days!

hello... i have a headach... my brain hurts a lot. Doing this concert thing is hard and you need to concentrate a lot. Still we got through. It was fun. Thats all for now i am exhausted and need a bath.

So i pretty much got ALL my christmas presents today. A beautiful dress, some beautiful boots, p.js, dvds, coldplay cd (yes yes yes!), magazines, makeup... ect. I think i'm gonna blag some more cds. We're going away so we can't really take anything with us to spain. I wouldn't mind Amelie on dvd either.

So shopping is like... releasing all thats bothering you and you just get stuff for yourself to replace whatever is empty, but you get home and you look at your stuff and think "ahhh all lovely" but you still feel empty. Well i do. I'll get over it. I've been through worse. anyways enough of my depressing CRAP!

I got Rhythm magazine (my first drum magazine) and it has the drummer from Incubus on... and i LOVE him. He is so fly and fit and yummy didily dum dum. His name is "Jose Pasillas" and he is a very good drummer indeed. Also i got the battery for my camara so i promise you i will take some good pics.

Tomorrow is the rehersal for the chairty concert, us year 11 kids are holding! It shall be fun! It will take my mind off some things hopefully... or maybe make it worse... i dunno. Hopefully better. Anyways gotta do some spanish now now now!

30/11/02 time: 9:57 am
song: coldplay... yes.. i know listen to it wayy to much.

hmmm... i'm better... but i feel sad. Still i think sleeping always makes you better.

So today i go to lakeside with my mummy. Me and my mummy... i like that. I will get a battery for this web camara so i can take it around my house and have cooler pictures... i am also thinking of changing this background soon. Even though i love Malfoy. hmmmm don't you hate feeling sad? i hate it.

Also check out sugar magazine if you can. My friend Amanda is in it! On a whole big page! I'm in there two... try and find me... its only little, i think i look silly! The bigger bit of me might be in the next issue, or that will be Katrina. Yeah... so check it out. Its a nice issue actually.

. 28/11/02 time: 9:52 pm
song: ohhh you know its god damn coldplay! i love it toooooo much
quote: "come on and come to my house.. ladies! come on and come to my house.. girls girls!" -- strong bad

go now i know u will enjoy
ahhh have i been neglecting my lovely lover computer... ahhh i'm sorry lovey didn't mean to be away.

I guess i've just been very popular recently and you know i'm into the actual "real" people now. Instead of YOU. You and your buttons... and your music that i adore so much and the endless supply of funniness you give me.

okay i am weird. But the thing is... i am pretty busy. So i'm sorry if i don't update to much, if you are bored and suicidal and need some smile on your face please please go HERE!. Seriously. Its the best. Go to Strong Bads Email... me and steph have laughed over that for so long.

Now my bed awaits me to fall into my happy little dream land! see ya around lover computer.

it is mighty cold outside... (shiver) and i am mighty tired too. Its okay though... so anyways us year 11 music students are doing a concert to raise money for children in need. Okay, so if you know me, if you know all my musical friends then surely you must be going to our school and i think you should come! So buy your god damn ticket... its only �2

okay so right now i have pat and andy and paul round my house its groovy. hmmm and yeh look at this e-card i got! From liz! who i met over the weekend! i love it so much! hehe

okay just read this... and if you know dashboard then it will make sense but read it anyways

If you�ve ever had a crush that made you feel like your heart would burst, you�ll know what this record is playing at. You, like most of Dashboard�s fans, will want to reach out and hug Carrabba, and, while you enjoy the camaraderie of that brief embrace, you�ll want to whisper in his hear, "I know." Who doesn�t?

Yes! that is why i love Dashboard sooooo much! I want to hug him and i want to say "i know" now now now! hehe anyways read the rest HERE!

ahhh last night was such a laugh! Happy Birthday my darling Katrina, you are a star! It's nice to meet aload of people you don't know... and just have a complete laugh i love it so much. South Woodham can get so boring.

I keep spreading the word of Dashboard (i gave Katrina the cd for her birthday, i hope she likes it) so yes. Hehe... i love nights like that where so many funny things happened and you just replay them its good. okay well tonight i believe laura might be round for a little while so yeh.. i might go and ring her now..

oh yeh.... i have been SOOOO busy... i have started the new afro boy... but exspect it not to be ready for a while.

Over-all Coolness: 8/10
Sound: 9/10
Organization: 6/10
Atmosphere: 10/10
okay first off i have to stress how cool everyone was at this gig. There was this kid who said about my dashboard top and we both smiled at eachother... then he showed me this tattoe of the D.C SIGN! it was amazing! i took a picture of it... i think he thought i was crazy... but that was really cool! I dunno weather i could have it that big.... maybe a little one. Hmm... okay now for the music.

So me laura and steph got all the way to the garage (BY OURSELVES! i really don't see why me and laura can't go to gigs on our own..) but yeh my sister went with Bill because he was interviewing them (lucky sod).

The garage is actually alright... i mean it is pretty small but everyone fitted in there nicely (and it was sold out) so the first band came up... Not Katies, i hadn't really been bothered to check this band out before there on the Deck Cheese label of good old english bands. I have to say they played really well, they sounded american, but if there happy what there playing then go for it i say. It was nice to jump around to and me and laura decided to buy there album (only �8).

When not katies had done there part, everyone was waiting around for Good Charlotte to come on... it was real hot in that room and you weren't even jumping around. Good Charlotte took soooooo long to bloody get on stage and the security people were being asses telling everyone to step back... i dunno why! Eventually they came on... the atmosphere was pretty god damn good. All the kids were jumping around. They opened with the beggining of there new album (laura says its like harry potter) and then went into "Anthem" and i love that song. I had a good jump around. This arse of a boy though was going crazy! Actually quite alot of people were going crazy... i dunno i think everyone was just trying to enjoy themselves. They mainly played there new songs and dipped in the occastional old song. Like "Seasons", which i new Stephy loved. They also played "Motivation Proclamation" which i very much enjoyed since it was the first song i probably heard. "little things" also was crazy... everyone was singing along nicely. I did go pretty crazy at this gig but i mean there is two main options at a gig:
staying at the back, looking nice (no sweat)
jumping around, looking like a minger (all sweaty)
I normally take the second one. Anyways G.C finished with "lifestyles of the rich and the famous" and i was very hot by the end of that. I tried to take some pictures but it was hard i bet they come out poopy. I was dissapointed that they didn't play "change", but you know oh well.

I managed to get "the used" ticket. Which is very hardcore indeed. CANNOT WAIT TILL THAT GIG!

Just sow harry potter for the second time hehe :) i love it soooo much! I remembered some of the brilliant lines this time:
"i can't your hands all sweaty" -- harry to ron
"oh... i didn't know you could read" -- malfoy

Okayyyy well you won't get it... if you haven't seen the movie... but its really quite amusing... dumbledore also says this excellent line at the end that i can't quite remember... but i know what he was say if that makes sense... its good.

Okayyyy so tomorrow is going to be so rushy tomorrow. I'm going see Good Charlotte in london :) but there are many problems like:
firemen striking
getting there
getting on time
find my sister
money
and ofcourse looking good.... hehe... i'll make it i'm sure.... see ya laters then!

Don't you just hate it when your feeling sad... but you really don't know why... your tummy slightly feels off and your face just feels all droopy and you kinda just want a hug and for someone to kiss your forehead and then tell you that your the best or something. Well thats how i feel... my tummy has got that little ting in it that makes it all weird.

I have a free house and brand new just echos around my house... "and we'll never have to listen, to anyone, bout anything". Hmm i may just need to sleep or maybe i just need a hug?! What is up with needing all these hugs! I'm like a walking talking hug me bear!

I am sad the used are on kerrang tv... :( i don't want them to be. Everyone will love them then go and see them at the garage and i won't get a ticket mwaaaa :( oh wells... lets hope no-one votes for the video.

i finally downloaded the coldplay song that i adore (the scientist) which i wanted for ages but just never really could be bothered to make the effort of getting it.

Anyways! IT WAS DAVES BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY ASWELL! i knew but i should of put it up here... so yeh! go to his site! NOW NOW NOW

today was okay, laughed a lot, smiled a lot. Which is what i like. I'm soooo looking forward to this friday! wheee i see Good Charlotte! with laura AND STEPPY! yipeee.

18/11/02 time: 07:57 am
band: the movielife -- pinky swear (i haven't listened to this in yonks!)
lyric: "your in my heart 3thousand miles awayyyy" :)

So you like? hehe its all harry potter related! i love it! Don't you just LOVE Malfoy hehe doing that funny eye brow thingy. The title is from the 4th book... right at the end... so yeh... voldermort will be back in the 5th... i can't WAIT till that is out.

I also got my sunday dinner soon. I lurrrrvvveeeee sunday dinner. yummy yum yum yorkshire puddings with lots of gravy!

Last night was rather random... but fun, i laughed a lot. I'm trying to find a new web cam pic... hmm... i want to get the batteries for this camara thing i have then i'll be able to take pictures of my room and stuff. and go outside.

Today i have to do LOADS of work... and i'm thinking about changing my background and i need to start the new afro boy... gawddd to much to do.

Today i went shopping, today i spent alot of money :S not good. God damn H&M takes all your money. Well i got Stephs present, well i got her two presents actually... i want one of them bad its just little but i want it.

Tonight i should be tagging along with andy, rob and greg. Goody good good. Last night was pretty boring... actually it was okay, just kinda sat around. hmmm tomorrow i need to sort out all my work.

I don't understand why "the used" aren't playing london yet? it is sucky wucky and i want to go and see Harry Potter again... because it is so bloody cool.

I am stuck on what to do tonight, i want to go out but its just all the effort of moving your legs around you know? its a bit gay really. So i could just stay in? and sit around... watch some tv, eat some ben and jerrys or go out with Greg and that lot and find some weird adventure?? wot to do.

15/11/02 time: 7:54 am
lyric: "You don't know how lovely you areeee"
band: Coldplay

Still i got my Dashboard Stuff! :) :) :) very happy indeed. Yeh yesterday i just felt alittle lets not touch my computer.... so i had my drum lesson and just kinda sat infront of my tv all night. I watched the mtv europe awards, yes crap except for Christina and Coldplay. I didn't really agree with any of the awards except for Red Hot Chilli Peppers winning the live act cos they did this excellent award thing.... it was sooo funny. Puff Daddy.. he just got annoying (saying that every act was his favourite band/singer whatever...) Coldplay played brilliantly, people say there boring, which i i used to think they were.. but recently i've kinda noticed there like an english version of Dashboard except less moaning about Relationships... but yes, they played beautifully and there was this one shot where you sow what he was looking out at (like the croud) and it was just so god damn lovely. I wish i could sing and be infront of a croud like that.

14/11/02 time: 07:55 am
song: Get Well Soon -- My Falling Star Wish (i just lurrrvee his song nice bit of emo)

I'm feeling alot better this morning. My mum kinda just told me to shut up last night, which i think i needed. She told me to get on with my GCSEs first... which i should so i'm just gonna take it one step at a time.

lelele hmm what of finchs songs are my favourite? would have to be grey matters... but i do love what it is to burn ALOT... hey let me just tell you a little story.

Ages ago... i got taken the piss out of because i said i like to skank (dance at shows)... and i did. Skankin's wayyy better than any other dancing cos your stupid and you just swing your arms around and bounce... most people can do it and its fun not hard or anything but yeh... these boys one of them Lewis (who i have nothing against now) just seemed to think it was funny? and i gotta say they said some horrible stuff (not just about skankin) but then Lewis said to me yesterday in Drama, i'm going to Reel Big Fish, we're going to get drunk and skank loads. I told him he used to take the piss out of me but i think he knew he was wrong he said "yeh i didn't know what it was then..." .... still its quite funny really? They didn't even really know what it was.

I'm trying to make myself feel better and i forgot to do this
participation positives:
. I have dashboard stuff on the way, i may have missed it today but i might get it tomorrow
. School isn't that bad, i laugh and have fun
. My music class might be going on this school trip thing which i am sooo happy about it sounds really cool.
. I love organizing this charity concert... i really do its so much fun. I love working in a team.
. I may not be going on a course yet about photography... but i know that my mum and dad are willing to help.
. Tomorrow i go to lakeside and get new skate shoes... yay no more rubbing the back of my ankle
. The used are playing uk.
. and my dinner is ready now so i better go and it will be yummy :)

hmm... i'm all miserable... and i hate being miserable... only because well..
I'm sick of thinking about my future
i have no target... no passion for anything at the moment.
I am sooooo sick of being average... normal... the same... not brilliant not bad... so sick.
some person, one in particular is pissing me off
I just want to be really good and have a passion for 1 thing... just one little bit of direction just one..
And i want a big hug... that lasts all evenings... just someone stroking my head and telling me that my future will be fine and not to worry about it.

For a substitute i have ben and jerry chocolate brownie next to me now.. not as good as a hug, nothings as good as a long hug. I suppose it will do though for now. oh yeh and my dashboard stuff didn't come cos my mum wasn't in :(.

12/11/02 time: 6:29 pm
lyric: "which of the bold face lies will we use, i hope that your happy you really deserve it."
band: Dashboard

I am really pooped out about all this future stuff, really pooped out. I don't want to explain to much but i want to do multimedia, photography and media right? Multimedia because you do WEB DESIGN! AND ANIMATION?! and from this site you can guess that i love both... alot. The thing is you can't do those 3. In southend... which is the college i want to go to, you can only do a B-tec in multimedia... which is a specialised course and i can't do photography and media with it. And i really want to do photography and media... so it sucks... really bad.

You see... i even remember the first time i was going to do a site.. i read it in J17... all about websites and how to make them and HTML, i went on expage and decided to make my first one. It was cool, after that i made a power puff girls one... and i did my first "frames" site called Lolly4love... which i loved and i learnt how to do basic shitty ass animations, then onto a journal, which i have disregarded but only because i don't have any problems anymore unlike i did have and i need to tell something about them. Then onto this.. which is the first time i've ever used tables... i've been scared to change this layout because i love it so much and i really don't know what else to do. So thats why i want to learn web design and how to actually do REAL animation... but is that just for leisure... or do i want to do that as a career... i really don't know...

12/11/02 time: 8:05 am
lyric: "AND I'LL TAKE YOUR HAND AND PICK YOU UP AND KEEP YOU THERE SO YOU CAN SEEEEE"
band: The Used

AHHHH! THE USED ARE PLAYING UK! WHEEEEE YIPEEE!! THATS LIKE THE COOLEST NEWS EVERRRR!!
i really need to go to school, i'm gonna be late nows! hehe

11/11/02 time: 10:10 pm
lyric: "exspect me to apologise for things that you've done wrong, while your reciting others"

I finally scanned in some pictures using the school scanner! hehe i used up my whole graphic lesson scanning stuff for my website!

Well here it is... the picture... that i adore and keep next to my bed (i had to draw all over it so no-one will nick it hehe.

Today i've been very..... smiley.... which i normally am but today i FELT smiley. You know when nothings really bugging you? No-ones hurting you, your doing nothing stupid, hurting no-one (even though i found out something that made me abit angry) but yeh!

hmmm.. i have to do my maths and practise my drumming so i'll maybe do something laters. see ya *xXx*

So you want to know what the WARP TOUR is? you want to see what happens to AFRO BOY? Well go on then! SEE HIM HERE

10/11/02 time: 9:50 pm
song: Dashboard -- Drowning (are you drowning your fears?)

lelele.... i should be studying for biology... i should be sleeping... i should be painting my nails.... but no i'm on here?! anyways i better be off soon... i really do need to study.

oh yehhh i got some coolio dashboard stuff:
So impossible jacket..thing which i love
Feel Better t-shirt which i love
promo for the places you have come to fear the most poster... which i love!
Hehe so i am inlove with my clothes.

You Are A Juicy Kisser!

Your lips are totally kissable baby, and you know how to use them.
You are the perfect kisser - with the right combo of lips and tongue.
It's important to flaunt it, so kiss early and often on dates!

How Do *You* Kiss?
More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Click Here To Take The Test --