*I do not have a sexual partner (pets and stuffed animals are NOT sexual partners)
*I have not bought more deoderant in three (or more) months
*I have an uncontrollable fear of running water
*My ears are filled with a strange, yellow, waxy buildup
*I live in Rwanda, Ethiopia, Indonesia, Guatamala, the Amazon, or Utah
*My name is Ernest Nathanial Nedred III
*During love making, I am often distracted by my partner's snores
*Foreplay? What's that?
*I spend more time double-clicking my mouse than double-clicking my mouse
*I am white but drive a lifted truck, a souped up rice burner, or a pontiac grand am
*I have exactly two shirts: one that used to be black and one that used to be white
*I am always tailed by a conspicuous cloud of flies
*People often point and laugh at me when I walk by
*What do you mean? Of course my friends think I am cool and witty!!!!!