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| Gracie & Kass' Adoption Story | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| During late July, Sandy and Bill and I got together for two days. We ate together, went for walks, and talked for hours. We discussed everything from parenting styles and hopes for our children to the geology of the state. I felt so comfortable with them that I thought surely I was missing something. (Okay, so I'm cynical). I continued to talk to them on the phone and considered myself lucky that | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The girls at ten months old (Gracie left; Kass right) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I'd found someone I was so at ease with. I felt confidant of my decision and safe in the fact that my babies would have parents who would love them very much. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Confident that is, until about mid-August. Then horrible self-doubt, fear, and despair came over me again. By September, I was obviously pregnant, and I began to tell other people what my plans were. My friends and family were mostly supportive, though most wished that I didn't have to "give away" my babies. But I was in graduate school, and those I was around the most were appalled at the idea of adoption. Looking back on it, two things strike me about this phenomenon. One is that social workers are supposedly non-judgemental and supportive, not telling others how they should lead their lives. It also was ironic because some of those same students that gave me such a hard time later went on to work in adoptions (perhaps this is less ironic and more scary). I am usually the type of person that doesn't care much about what others think of what |
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| Gracie kissing Kass at 16 months old | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| I am doing. But this time was so confusing and stressful, that I began to doubt myself and my decision. I told Sandy and Bill I wanted no further contact with them. I did not want to lead them on about adoption if that was not what I was going to do. So the fall continued. I kept on feelings anxious and in despair, and was possessive about my babies. I decided that I'd lost enough by losing Laurie, and that |
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| Girls hugging at 16 months old | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I didn't want to lose them also. I began a new quarter at school in September, planning on finishing out the term in December and then taking a quarter away from school. The babies were due in mid-January, so I figured I had plenty of time. I sould also mention that in August, I moved to a brand new town where I knew no one and nothing, but somehow thought I'd be just fine. Boy, was I wrong!! As the quarter went on, I became tired and irritable and well, PREGNANT. Very, very pregnant. I'd never been pregnant past 24 weeks before, but at week 24 with the twins, I was HUGE. People asked me when I was due, and |
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| their eyes got real big when I told them I was only six month's along. I outgrew my maternity clothes, studied through horrific back pain, forgot what my feet looked like, and got used to entering the shower sideways. And on November 14, while driving home from visiting my family, I went into labor. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| HOME | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| For the Rest of Gracie and Kass' story, Click HERE | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||