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Gracie and Kass...
An Adoption Story |
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Born: November 14, 2001
At: 11:50 PM (Kass)
11:57 PM (Gracie)
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Black (at birth)
Weight: 3 lbs. 9 oz. (Kass)
4 lbs. 1 oz. (Gracie) |
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Adopted: 2/27/02 |
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Within only a few weeks after my first daughter, Laurie, was born and died, I became pregnant with what would be identical twin girls. |
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Gracie (L) and Kass (R) at 18 months old |
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Because I was grieving from Laurie's death, I did not face the fact that I was pregnant right away. It wasn't until I was four months along that I began to deal with this pregnancy. When I was four months pregnant, I went to a prenatal care appointment, and the doctor wanted to hear the baby's heartbeat. What we heard though was not one heartbeat, but two. He scheduled me for an ultrasound, and two days later, I found out that I was not carrying one baby, but TWO. That's when I began to panic. Things were not well between me and the babies' father and I was unemployed and was in the middle of graduate school. I was still in heavy grief from losing Laurie. I was deeply depressed by this point, and wasn't sure where to turn.
While this was all happening, I had gone over to a friend's house for a barbeque. While I was there, I met many people, including a couple named Sandy and Bill. While eating, I sat next to Sandy and Bill, and talked to them about all sort of random things--I told them about graduate school, food allergies (I have many of them!), and my family. They talked to me about living near the rain forest, raising doves, and their comic nephew, Ben. I knew that Sandy and Bill lived across the state, but I remember wishing that they lived closer because I really liked them and connected with them. |
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Meanwhile, I began to formulate a plan for the twins. I knew that realistically, I could not raise two babies on my own. I knew that ONE baby can overwhelm two parents. I could not imagine what it would be like to have TWO babies and only one parent. I didn't want my babies to have a mother who was always tired, always stressed out, and always spread thin. I wanted more for them than I could give. I began to despair and more depressed. |
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Gracie (left) and Kass (right) at 6 months old |
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I began to consider placing the babies for adoption. I dreaded telling anyone that I was considering this. I feared that people would think I was inadequate and that I didn't love my babies. In fact, I loved my unborn babies more than I could even fathom. But I wanted more for them than I could give. I had also left the twin's father, and he was a dangerous, possessive man. I knew that if I kept the twins, their father would never leave us alone, which would leave them at grave risk for their entire lives.
I finally decided to talk things over with my friend, the same one that had the barbeque earlier that month. I told her my thoughts and feelings, and ended by wondering how I would ever find parents for two babies!! At this time, I was unaware of the thousands of people who are waiting to adopt a newborn. I thought that it would be nearly impossible to find someone who would want to raise "someone else's kids." My friend assured me that if I chose adoption, this surely would not be a problem. She asked if I remembered her friends, Sandy and Bill, from the barbeque. I said yes, of course. She told me that they were unable to have kids, and were looking to adopt. I couldn't believe it--I knew they didn't have kids, but I had figured that was their choice. I immediately asked my friend to please contact Sandy and Bill and ask them if I could speak to them about adoption. The next day, my friend called me back and said that Sandy and Bill would very much like to speak with me. |
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HOME |
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For Gracie and Kass' Story, continued, Click HERE |
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