| Funny Joke/Text- 50 Actual Newspaper Headlines 1.Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 2.Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 3.Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted 4.Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case 5.Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents 6.Farmer Bill Dies in House 7.Iraqi Head Seeks Arms 8.Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? 9.Stud Tires Out 10.Prostitutes Appeal to Pope 11.Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over 12.Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again 13.British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands 14.Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms 15.Eye Drops off Shelf 16.Teacher Strikes Idle Kids 17.Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead 18.Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim 19.Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66 20.Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax 21.Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told 22.Miners Refuse to Work after Death 23.Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 24.Stolen Painting Found by Tree 25.Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies 26.Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter 27.Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years 28.Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One 29.Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84 30.War Dims Hope for Peace 31.If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While 32.Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures 33.Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide 34.Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge 35.Deer Kill 17,000 36.Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead 37.Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge 38.New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 39.Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft 40.Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 41.Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy 42.Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire 43.British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply 44.Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood 45.Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees 46.Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 47.New Vaccine May Contain Rabies 48.Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing 49.Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing 50.Air Head Fired We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. Top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. Here are the lowlights: 1. Said he was so well-qualified [that] if he didn't get the job, it would prove that the company's management was incompetent. 2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application. 3. Brought her large dog to the interview. 4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles. 5. Candidate kept giggling through serious interview. 6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time. 7. Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece. 8. Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle. 9. Asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate. 10. Announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office. 11. Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview. 12. Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president. 13. Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm. 14. Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions. 15. Wouldn't get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police. 16. When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office. 17. Had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him. 18. Bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet. 19. Took a brush out of my purse, brushed his hair and left. 20. Pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him. |