| The Top 14 Songs on the New *NSYNC CD 14> "You're Pretty Mature For Your Age, Aren't You?" 13> "The Next Best Thing To An Actual Boyfriend" 12> "Yo, Girl, Your Butt Don't Look Big to Me" 11> "Baby, Just Wanna Give you a Pony and a Puppy Dog" 10> "A Personal Love Song for You -- Yes, You! We Really Mean It! You Are the One and Only Girl We Really Love, Even Though You're 12 Years-Old and Live in a Trailer Park in Nebraska. Honest!" 9> "I'll Be Waiting For You (On The Other Side of Puberty)" 8> "If You Buy Two, We'll Love You Twice As Much!" 7> "Acne Will Pass, But Love Lasts Forever" 6> "You Should Buy This CD -- Or That Bitch Suzy Will, and She'll Be More Popular Than You" 5> "Nobody Understands You, So Let's Get Freaky!" 4> "Baby, You Can Drive My Car (When You're Old Enough to Get a Learner's Permit)" 3> "Guess Which One of Us Actually *Likes* Girls" 2> "The Backstreet Boys Think You're Homely" 1> "What's Up, A-Cup?" E-Moons We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons", where :) means a smile and :( is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by :-) and :-( respectively. Well, how about some "assicons"? Such as: (_!_) a regular ass (__!__) a fat ass (!) a tight ass (_*_) a sore ass {_!_} a swishy ass (_o_) an ass that's been around (_x_) kiss my ass (_X_) leave my ass alone (_zzz_) a tired ass (_o^^o_) a wise ass (_E=3D3D3Dmc2_) a smart ass (_$_) Money coming out of his ass (_?_) Dumb Ass Computer Breasts Finally, something other than smiley faces.... :) (o)(o) perfect breasts ( + )( + ) fake silicone breasts (*)(*) high nipple breasts (@)(@) big nipple breasts o o a cups { O }{ O } d cups (oYo) wonder bra breasts ( ^ )( ^ ) cold breasts (o)(O) lopsided breasts (Q)(O) pierced breasts (p)(p) breasts with tassled pasties \o/\o/ Grandma's breasts ( - )( - ) flat against the shower door breasts |oo| android breasts Highschool Sweethearts There was once a pair of high school sweethearts. When they graduated, they wanted to go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend any time they could together. As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he emailed her, she took days to return his messages. Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn't want to do this and increased his calls, letters, and emails trying to win back her love. Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back. So, what she did is this: she took a Polaroid picture of her giving her new boyfriend a blow job and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, ''I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone.'' Well, needless to say, this guy was heartbroken but, even more so, was pissed. So...he wrote on the back of the photo: ''Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money!'' and mailed the picture to her parents. A woman who had been married twice and divorced twice was fed up. Her first husband beat her, and her second husband ran away with another woman. Plus, she couldn't find a new lover who could satisfy her sexually, so she put an ad in the classifieds: Wanted: A good looking, single guy who won't beat me, won't leave me, and is good in bed. About a week later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door to find a man with no arms and legs on her front porch. "I'm here about your ad," he says. "You must be mistaken," she says. "Let me explain," he says. "I can't beat you, I don't have any arms. And I can't run away because I don't have any legs." "But," she asks, "How do I know you're good in bed?" "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?" |