| Schwartzenegger has a big one Michael J. Fox has a small one Madonna doesn't have one The Pope has one but doesn't use his Clinton uses his all the time Mickey Mouse has an unusual one George Burns' was hot Liberace never used his on women Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his We never saw Lucy use Desi's What is it? The answer is: "A Last Name." And you thought I'd send you a dirty joke! Restroom Poetry The following are poems found inscribed in public restrooms (fill in the blanks using your imagination): Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some bastard stole the toilet paper, Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger. Here I sit Broken hearted Tried to shit But only farted Here I sit What a caper I have to crap But I'm out of paper You're lucky You had your chance I tried to fart, And shit my pants! Some people come here to take a shit, I came here to leave one. Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to shit and stink, But I come here to scratch my balls, And read the bull shit on the walls... Here I sit, I'm at a loss trying to shit out taco sauce. When it comes, I hope and pray, I don't blow my ass away (Written high upon the wall) If you can piss above this line, the Hillsboro Fire Department wants you. (Seen above a urinal) Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal. We don't piss in your ashtrays! (Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine) "Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber." (Under a sign that said: "Employees Must Wash Hands") I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself. Can you guess what I am? I am about six inches long. I have a bush at one end, and when rubbed hard I produce a white frothy substance. I move back and forth and in and out. What am I? Answer: I'm a toothbrush |