virgin at 20?
oh, they'll be hell to pay.
because you never woke up and reached across
an empty bed for him, wondering whether
your make-up had smeared the pillow where
you didn't sleep.
because boys who knocked on your door
never knew the right things to say
never cared what they said anyway
because nights kissing under stars always ended when
your voice said yes, but your eyes whispered no.
because he knew to listen to your eyes.
because you were too young, too sweet. too careful.
and long ago, you'd bound yourself
to the altar
because you remembered all the horror-stories
and watched as friends of your youth hold their breath through
two weeks late.
because the tip-toes and explorations of little fingers on your skin
had been enough, when he whispered "i have a condom"
you pretended not to hear
because in the whirl-wind days of change
when people are having kids, and bills, and drinking problems,
you have only a hole where your experiences
would have gone.
because, thank god, you were too afraid...
