when i was little, i like, worshipped halloween.
well, maybe not worshipped... but i loved it. looked forward to it the way most children anticipated christmas day. i stopped trick-or-treating a couple of years ago... mostly because none of my friends would agree to accompany me. and cause i found people don't really appreciate a college student showing up at their door (its not as cute as you'd think, apparently). but thats okay, i can live without trick-or-treating. i don't think my halloween-obsession was centered around the candy, anyway. i think it was about the opportunity to disguise yourself, to be someone else for a night.
when i was in 3rd grade... halloween night, i became amy grant. and not just the look. although i had it...the hair, the outfit, everything was perfect. but i not only looked like her, i *became* her. i danced around and sang all day long. i imagine myself in that role so completely that i was actually kinda depressed when i woke up as "me" the following morning.
i still have disguises. i may have moved beyond my amy grant wannabe days, but i still mask myself. we all do. (on average people will misrepresent themselves in 10% of their daily interactions). those misrepresentations can be viewed as disguises, of sorts. plus, there are the more obvious ones....sometimes, i'm "in costume" as a sorority girl. i wear the shirt, i sing along to the chants. but to those that know me, this is not really what i am about at all. it sure is easier though, to just let others categorize you as they will...
to you, i am a musicfan. i ramble, i rant, i will on occasion have something to say (not often). but still, despite the illusion of complete honesty and openness... i mean, i *am* journaling afterall.... but still, i am in disguise. you only know what i let you know... |
