its 4:14 am and i can't sleep. i think i'm going to give up on romance.
i'm debating whether or not i should go ahead and get it over with... should i resign myself to spinsterhood once and for all??
from what i can tell, there are definite pluses to being a spinster. i can watch all the girly/trashy/artsy movies i like, or rock out to all the bitchy feministic anthems i desire and no one will be scared off by my weird tastes. i can quote thoreau and hum vivaldi and not have to pretend that i would rather be watching sports or meeting parents. i can sit around in my pj's (first, i'll buy some) with my hair in a knot and not a stitch of make-up on my face because the only guys coming to my room are (1) kevin (2) gay or (3) someone else's boyfriend/husband. i can go on as many meaningless dates as i feel like, allow myself to not care whether or not i get a follow-up phone call, because... well because there will be no guy to get jealous, and because spinsters never get second phone calls. i can burn the toast even more than i do now, because i'm not feeding anyone special, just me.
but possibly the best thing about being a confirmed spinster is i will never have to hear, "don't worry, the good guys are out there... go out and show off and you'll be beating them off with sticks..." over and over again every time i get let-down by some stupid boy. because spinsters don't need to beat anyone off.
unless maybe its a mugger. |
