today i got an assignment: draw a self-portrait
i did this in high school once. i sat for hours with a hand-held mirror, determined to capture my face on paper, studying the slope of my nose, the curve of my eyes, the tilt of my brows. but, i covered up the freckles that dot my nose. i minimized the pout of my lips. i drew what i wanted to be, not what i was.
i got an A on the drawing, maybe at that age they expect you to do that unknowingly.
is it possible to draw yourself the way you actually are, and not just how you see yourself. don't you automatically put in your twist--your own self-perception? i guess, in any form of self-expression, the hardest part is facing the truth about who you really are.
sometimes, that is what i love and hate about poetry. its much easier to put the real you out there in the form of a poem-- but is it the real me or just another idea of the me i project? i wonder how accurately i know myself.
i hope for this project i can put aside the bullshit and draw what i see--freckles, pout, and all. i think if i had any artistic ability, i'd be determined to do the opposite-- i'd want to make a statement about self-image by drawing how i see myself and why it differs from how i really am...but then again, i already did that, in a way.
this time, i think i just need to face the truth... |
