(Note: Before you instantly qualify me as a psyched lunatic, please understand that I was assigned this mission by Steve.)
I would like to dedicate this endeavor to Spleencow. If it weren't for him, the world would be an ugly place.
What are the goals of the "Save the Feet" movement?
A foot is a beautiful thing that is widely underestimated and under appreciated. The first goal of my "Save the Feet" movement is to have nation wide educational classes on feet, and "Foot Appreciation Day" to be observed on February 31st. My second goal is to have specially trained guidance councilors available at all schools, for moral support when kids are teased about their feet. My third goal is to host an annual "Miss Feet" competition honoring women with particularly beautiful feet. Special awards will go to those with webbed toes.
Can I still participate in the "Miss Feet" competition if I have foot fungus?
It has come to my attention before that some people view their feet as being ugly or unsanitary because of having foot fungus. I would like to point out that yes, you may have small green sprouts growing in-between your toes, but when people tease you, simply point out proudly that you are supporting a natural habitat. You can still participate in the "Miss Feet" competition, and might be awarded more points for being environmentally friendly.
Are there currently any "Save the Feet" rallies I can attend?
I am investing in making nationwide rallies, but as of the moment, none are set up yet. Hosting a rally in your hometown would be greatly appreciated. Some catchy slogans for your signs are available in my book, "For Feet's Sake!" at a nominal fee of $120. (All proceeds will be donated so Steve can buy a Limited Edition Sonic Ring from Amazon.com)