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WOMEN`S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need... = I want.

5. I am sorry = you`ll be sorry

6. We need to talk = I need to complain

7. Sure, go ahead = I don`t want you to

8. Do what you want = You`ll pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you`re dead

11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

13. You`re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive

15. It`s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

16. You`re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

17. I`ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you`re really not going to like



MEN`S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let`s have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. What`s wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question

8. May I have this dance? = I`d like to have sex with you

9. Can I call you sometime? = I`d like to have sex with you

10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I`d like to have sex with you

11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I`d like to have sex with you

12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you

13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins

14. Let`s talk = Iam trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I`d like to have sex with you.

15. I don`t think those shoes go with that outfit = I`m gay.