| If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday? Do birds pee? Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts? Why is it at a Chinese restaurant an egg roll is called that when there is no egg in it? Why do they call it 2% milk, if its 2% fat, not milk? What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not? If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see? Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for? If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator? If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano on it and it ruins a nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage? If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing? If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind? Why does "closing up" a shop and "closing down" a shop mean the same thing? Why do they call them "Animal Crackers" when there not even crackers...they're cookies? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Have ex-cowboys become deranged? Have ex-drycleaners become depressed? How do you throw away a garbage can? Why in baseball is it called the World Series if it is only played in the U.S.A & Canada? Why do old men have hair in their ears? Why are things typed up but written down? Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing? In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end? If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound? If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? What does OK actually mean?what does the K in K-mart actually stand for? Why do we feel blue? and what color does a smurf feel when they are down? Why can't you eat pancakes for dinner? Why do donuts have holes? Why do the numbers on a phone go one way and the numbers on the calculator go the other? Why don't you hear thunder with heat lightning? Do the different "M&M's"� colors taste different? If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days? If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard? If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles? Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill? Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"? Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille? How do you handcuff a one-armed man? Why is the abbreviation for pound lb. when l or b isn't in the word pound? Why do the call the angel of death an angel if all it does is bring pain and suffering? Why doesn't the glue in the bottle dry up? If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm? If an anarchist group attained political power, would they by principle have to dissolve their own government? If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you? Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests? Why does everyone speak different languages and have different accents if we all originally came from the same place? Why do they call it a RUNNING BACK when he is running forward? If you tell someone they are being judgmental aren't you being judgmental yourself? Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body? How come no matter what color the liquid is the froth is always white? Why do British people never sound British when they sing? Why do they call them guidance counselors when all counselors do is offer guidance? Why do they call it "head over heels in love" If our head is always over our heels? Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane? Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone cant hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell? How do they get those boats in those glass bottles? Why would superman want to leap over the tallest building in a single bound if he can fly? Why is it called a TV set when there is only one? If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? How did the headless horseman know where he was going? Why do they call it an escalator if it takes you down? Why is it called football when you hardly use your feet? How come some Little Debbie snack cakes come in a twin pack and others are wrapped individually? Do cows drink milk? Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick'name? If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? Since we see little birdies when we just get knocked out, what do little birdies see when they just get knocked out?? What is a male ladybug called? Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks? Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on? If you wore a teflon suit, could you ever end up in a sticky situation? How fast do hotcakes sell? If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit? Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? Does the President have to pay taxes? Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on Christmas lights? If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his hair? If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them? Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front? Isn't it kind of ominous to put your tax returns in the mail box and put up the little red flag? What ever happened to an E grade? We have A,B,C,D,F but no E. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice" ? Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary? What do you call a female daddy long legs? If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages? Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? If a transport truck carrying a load of cars gets into a car accident, does it increase the number of the cars in the pile-up? In France do people just ask for toast and get French toast? or do they have to ask for American toast? Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop? Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year? If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound ? Why are SOFTballs hard? Do vampires get AIDS? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat? Why are they called goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps? Why is it that lemon dishsoap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavoring? If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery? Is French kissing in France just called kissing? Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air? Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"? What do people in China call their good plates? Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest? If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds? Does a postman deliver his own mail? Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself? If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken? Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car? Does peanut butter really have butter in it? Do mimes watch silent movies? Is the fear of flying groundless? Why do people say "You scared the living daylights out of me" when daylight is not living? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up "there" anyway? If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing? Why are boxing rings square? Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it? Why is it called eggplant, when there's no egg in it? Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning? What was the best thing before sliced bread? Why do birds have white poop? Can good looking Eskimo girls be called hot? Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down? Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet. If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight? If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like? Do sore thumbs really stick out? Why is it when your almost dead your on deaths doorstep, but when your actually dead your not in deaths house? Why do we scrub Down and wash Up? What's the opposite of opposite? If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice? |
 |
| Page1 |