A Fathers Love

A Fathers Love

Dedicated to my children in hopes that one day they will see this and understand

Dear Children

I am making this page in hopes that one day you will run across it and understand why I had to do this that I swore I would never do. As I sit here in tears creating this, the words (God will never put a burden on you too great to withstand)comes into mind. I know I said that I would never give my rights up to you and when I do I probably wont get to see you again to say goodbye.I still have not got a job and I keep getting further behind. I am now constantly under the threat of going to jail.Even when I was able to pay the extra I was paying was not covering even a fraction of the interest so I still would get even further behind. I was even told by your step father that if I don't bring him his money I wont get to see or pick you guys up and that was a promise. I don't understand how the government finds logic in some of the laws they pass. The Brady bill for instance is full of flaws and is in great need of reform. I have joined many fathers rights groups and have learned alot. Being put in jail would just put me even further behind than I am now, I feel like it is the governments job to tear fathers from their children and as for your step father I don't even come close to understanding where he thinks he has a right saying anything like that to me. He is a father paying child support himself, it could just as easily be him in my situation. All he is interested in is me giving up my rights where he can adopt you and change your last names since it seems to be a big threat to him. Your mom told me when she first started seeing him and she was right he is a very insecure man. I know that you guys have told me that since he pays the bills your mom says he has all the say, but this is just as much on your mom as it is on him or me. Your mom told the Attorney General I was smart and she dont know why I cant find work. What she don't realize is yes I am good with computers cars and other stuff but I have no degree in anything all I have is a G.E.D.and no one will even give you a chance. I thought that by now I would have good employment and things would be ok. I have sold every thing I own in this life to get by and now all I have left is the clothes I own and this computer to look for work.I have very little furniture left, nothing that anyone would buy.I am 38 years old and I never thought my life would get this bad. You always think it could never happen to you just people you see on tv, well I dont even have one of those anymore. No one knows what a father goes through in times like this except other fathers. I want you guy to know that even though I may never get to see you again is that I love each and every one of you. You guys know I never met my mom because her and my dad divorced when I was 18 months old and I don't want that to happen to us too. I know it is something I will always question about.Ask your mom and tell her to be honest in telling you how hard it was on me when my aunt Polly passed away. I feel the same now but worste. A man cant ask for any better children than the 3 of you. I have always been and always will be proud of all of you, confident in you making the right choices in life. All of you have told me that you don't like the situation your in now and I wish I could help, but I am powerless to do or say anything to help only that I will always be here for you and you 3 are in my thoughts every day. If you see this before it is too late, remember that he may adopt and want to change your names but remember he can't do it unles you want him to. You are old enough to make this decision and if you dont want it then stand firm and dont let them do it.

To my daughter Shiriyth

I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. When you were not breathing, I can honestly say I have never been filled with more fear that that day as I cried uncontrollably then you finally gasped your first breath of life. I was so filled with joy that my first child was born and she looked so perfect except for that cone shaped head but I was told that was normal in newborn babies. Your first steps in the hallway of Aunt Polly's house, you looked as excited as my aunt and I was seeing you do it. The time we were in Fresno California at the public park walking through the Alice In Wonderland walk and when we were in the mountains at a stop sign when you looked up at me still in diapers and just speaking good in sentences and saying (Dad I can't say son of a b***H can I) I remember I couldnt punish you or get on to you because it came out of nowhere and it made me laugh so hard and me saying no baby you cant say that its bad. Your days in kindergarten where you made pictures for us and began your learning experience. I am so proud of you in how dedicated you are in making good grades in school. I sit here wishing I could be as smart as you. Now your 15 and your life is just beginning. I just can't believe how long it has been since i was able to take you to school or watch for you to come running out as I waited to pick you up, 6 years time goes by too fast. All I can ask of you is that you stay dedicated and accomplish whatever you want in life, because I know you can. You were my first and only girl and that to me will always be held in my heart. I know you here what a bad person I am for deciding to do this but I think you know better and I know that your mom and her friends always talk bad about me and Nikki but you know us and you know the stories and talk are not true. You have seen where we live and how little it is and all of the stuff I have sold just to try and get by. It has been a month and a half since we have had propane to heat the house and cook with and that is why we were not able to pick you guys up and I didn't want you to have to suffer like we have been doing. Nikki knows how hard this decision has been on me and we have tried so many ways to not have to make this decision but we are out of time and resources. We are trying to survive in this life with a little over 600.00 a month. Your mom and step father either don't understand or they do not believe this. They are the ones in a new house with a swimming pool and 2 or 3 vehicles and your mom doesn't even work (by Choice), not us and you know this. I ask that one day you forgive me for what I have done.

To my son James

I remember when I took your mom to the hospital for your birth. We went into the delivery room and no more than 5 minutes later there you were, screaming at the top of your lungs. You were my little accident prone boy, always getting hurt somehow. I remember the time you got your finger slammed in the door at home and how I wanted to punch the doctor because he was making you cry while he was numbing your finger to stitch it back together. All I was thinking is that he was hurting you and I wanted him to stop because you were crying so hard and it made me cry also and how your mom had to stay strong because no one else was. The many trips to the emergency room because you were always falling and hitting your head. The taco bueno time was the worst one I think, when you were running in the game room and slipped and the next day it was so black and blue that it looked like someone had beat you up. I know you have problems at school and I understand that it is not all your fault. It is hard to make friends sometimes and I know for boys it is harder to concentrate on school work when there is so much other cool stuff to think about in this world. It is just so easy to lose focus on the things that are important in this life you need to get you by. I know that being the middle child can be hard and I never understood why until I had 3 children. It seems like you never get attention and it seems like you always get into trouble. Believe me son I love you and I don't love you any less than the others. I would gladly trade my life for any of you anytime. I ask that you stay strong because life is hard and it sometimes will seem like the world is against you. You have a long life ahead of you and it is filled with all kinds of possibilities for you, so I say take all of them you can hold on to and hold them tight. You were my first son and I can say I was hard on you but I see how you have become and I wouldn't change a thing. You always minded when you would come out and I can always see the excitement about life in your eyes. It is hard for a father to tell his son that he is proud of him face to face and I see that now because my father never told me and I never understood why. I guess it is hard to understand until your a father yourself. I know this is not how it should be said but it is all I have now.. I am proud of you and the young man you have grown to be and my love for you will always be strong and never fading.

To my son Paul

You are my youngest son and the one I fear losing the most. Being so young I fear you will forget me and that hurts so very bad. I remember when you were born I was not allowed to witness it, but I waited patiently for the blessing of my 3rd child. It took I know over 24 hours for you to arrive and it was the longest time in my life to wait. You and I have always shared a special bond and I knew no matter how down I was you could make me feel better. I know the last 6 month when I would pick you guys up to come visit for the weekend was not that great. Having to ride 120 miles out to the middle of nowhere with nothing to do. But you always made it seem like you were excited to come even when the other children didn't want to because there was nothing to do and I understand that. I never got to be with you while you were in school but I know you are doing good. I have heard of all the little girlfriends you have. You have never been one to pick fights. You have always been very sensitive and I can only say that I wish I would have been just like you. You will make the best husband and father to some lucky girl one day. I also want to thank you so much for calling Nikki mom and telling her that you loved her, it made her feel excepted by you. She misses you guys also and wishes things could be different. She tells me to hold on to hope because one day things will get better and I will see you guys again. She has told me that she knows you guys love me also and that you wont forget me. All I can do is hope she is right. Please know this, I would drive around the world to see you anytime you need me and I will find a way to do it no matter what. You told me you don't like living there with your step father because he always calls you stupid and when he is mad he looks like the devil. Just try and understand that there is nothing I can do or I would. Shiriyth told me if I could move back to Abilene that she wanted to live with us and I understand that leaving friends and going to a new school would be hard on a her I have not pushed for her to make that move. I know James and Shiriyth can be rough on you but I ask that you stay close to them because I know they will always be there to protect you. Brothers and sisters fight thats just life but I know they both love you and would protect you from harm and I know that they would always be there if you just needed to talk. Thanks for the joy you have brought into my life. I love you with all my heart and miss you so very much.

I will always keep this page going in hopes that one day you guys might see it and understand. I will also keep our address updated so you can find us. I will always keep the same email and I will always find a way to check it. You guys are the best thing in my life and I know I could never love anything or anyone as much as I love you guys. It is hard to think of things to say because this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. If I think of anything else I wanted to say I will update the page. Please forgive the picture it is the only one I have of us together. If you see this please sneak me an email or call.

To The Best Children A Father Could Ever Hope To Have 02/06/2004!!!! New address as of 2/24/2004

Your Father

James E Short

2665 S Bruce #117

Las Vegas NV 89109

702-328-8225

[email protected]

If there are any web hosting sites out there that would let me put this page on their service I will pay for the registery of the name but I cant afford web hosting. It is not a very big page and this is all it will be used for. If anyone sees this and knows of a job in the cable /telecommunications field I am posting my resume on here also in my links below

These are my links. Please feel free to click on them, you may be surprised at what you find

For my page from email support please click here

For my resume click here

For my story why I lost my job with Cox Communications click here. You will probably be amused how stupid the reason was.

To see the emails and the response letter from Robbi Horton concerning the matters I informed them about click here

For information on how Davis Digital Solutions likes to rip contractors off click here

Please help me save my relationship with my children. I have already tried the Bill Gates of the world, you know the folks that wouldnt miss it if they handed it out 10 times over as you can easily guess by seeing this donation button, they have no interest in helping someone in need.

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