Mtndewqueen88
~*~Joke of the Mood Page 2~*~
11/16/02
Here are some of the older jokes that i have...		 ~*~MENU~*~
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Three guys, one smart, one average, and one a bit dim, have begun a 40-mile hike home when they came upon a bush with an owl sitting on it.  To their surprise, the owl speaks.  "Weary travelers," he says.  "I will give you each one wish." 
    The smart one says, "I want to be home and rich beyond my dreams."
    "Wish granted!" says the owl.
    The average man says, "I want to be home and married to the most beautiful girl in the world." 
     "Wish granted!" says the owl.
      The dim guy looks around and feels a bit lonely.  So he makes his wish.  "I want my friends back
   Church Bulletin Bloopers:
~"The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Convention includes meals.
~"Morning Sermon:  Jesus Walks on Water.  Evening Sermon:  Searching for Jesus.
~"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.  It's a change to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.  Don't forget your husbands."
~"Potluck supper at 5pm.  Prayer and medication to follow." 
~"Scouts are saving bottles, soda cans, and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children."
  I've always taken an interest in personal liscence plates and trying to figure out what they say.  One day in a parking lot I was staring at one that read "innie" but I couldn't figure out what the message was.  Then I realized the make of the car was Audi.
this one's my away message too so i'm sure you've heard it...

"Mom!" Amber asked, "how old are you?"
"You're not supposed to ask a woman her age," her mother replied. "It's impolite."

Later Amber told a friend about the exchange. "Just take a look at her driver's license," the friend suggested. "Its like a report card for adults. Everything about them is on there."

That evening, Amber said, "Mom, you're 35 years old."

"How did you know that?"

"And you weigh 125 pounds."

"How did you find that out?"

"And that's not all," Amber said triumphantly. "I know why you and Daddy got a divorce."

"Really! Why's that?"

"Because you got an F in sex."
Jack hadn't been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked in, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting.
"You look like Helen Brown," he said.
"Well," the woman snapped back, "you don't look so great in blue either."

This one is from Jamie :-)

The census taker knocked on Donna's door.
She answered all his questions except
one. She refused to tell him her age.

"But everyone tells their age to the
census taker," he said.

"Did Miss Maisy Hill, and Miss Daisy
Hill tell you their ages?" she asked.

"Certainly," he replied "Well, I'm the
same age as they are," she snapped.

"As old as the Hills," he wrote on his form.
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