Joel: Who is this gentle stranger . . .?
Crow: Who's behind those Foster Grants? . . .
Crow: How's the snake hangin'? . . .
Forrester + Frank: . . . We're evil! Evil!
Joel: I got a crazy idea, boss . . .
Joel: I'm huge!
Crow: You know that hat has a slimming effect on you?
Joel: It's boss!
Crow: What's Wayne Manor? . . .
Crow: I think your cape is fabulous!
Tom: You idiot! We don't even have a doe license.
Crow: Dear God, he's dull!
Crow: Eat it, boy! Eat it!
Tom: I say, it's foggy!
Crow: What do you, the viewers at home, think?
Tom: Uh, Joel, isn't this is kinda fruity? . . .
Joel: Why is she limping? . . .
Crow: I'm the best lookin' man in the middle ages . . .
Crow: You don't find me repugnant, do you?
Crow: God, I love Seinfeld!
Joel: How about a little sugar for Ator over here?
Crow: Geez, Tolkein couldn't follow this plot!
Joel: Tuesdays are human sacrifice days at the Sizzler!
Tom: . . . this arrow might have something to do with her pain!
All: Huzzah!
Crow: Hey, does he look dorky enough?
Tom: Whoa, boldy backing away from where no man has gone before!
Crow: Don't touch him there!
Joel: Faruk Alatan? I went to school with Faruk Alatan!
Joel: Aaah, football practice!
Joel: Let's grab the picinic baskets and scram, Boo Boo!
Joel: If ya can't find 'em, grind 'em, right? . . .
Tom: Oh, forget this, I'm gettin' outta here!
Crow: Hey, what is it about the gates of Hell . . .
Joel: . . . Just lay off!
Tom: Hmm, what pretentious crap!
Tom: Now, Tommy, you quit warping time and space this instant!
Joel: With a name like Smuckers, you know it's good!
Joel: I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks . . .
Crow: Yeah, whatever.
Joel: What are you doing, Mitchell?
Crow: [How do you like your scotch?] Uh, by the quart.
Tom: Who's the puffy guy . . .
Tom: wockachika, wockachika . . .
Mike: How's that fit ya, fancy pants?
Crow: Yeah, boo hoo, we all have problems!
All: Liar, liar, liar!
Crow: [What do you say, kitten?] Meow!
Tom: I like jello!
Joel: My mom doesn't drink!
Tom: If I had parents, I'd accuse them right now.
Tom: Joel, you magnificent bastard! . . .
Tom: Why don't you just do it on the bench?
Tom: So, how 'bout a little sugar for happy chef over here?
Crow: So, Jimmy, do you like your kneecaps?
Tom: I'm just sellin' drugs to school kids.
Crow: I am the angel of death . . .
Tom: Gimme my gun back!
Joel: I'll kill someone for ya . . .
Crow: It was funny, it made me laugh! Ha!
Joel: I lied!
Crow: He he, I like songs, he he.
Crow: Well, aren't I Miss Popular?
Tom: [Nobody's gonna take you away . . .] Not even me! . . .
Crow: I got peanut butter and underwear and that's all I need!
Crow quacking as the door opens
Joel: I have an important thing and some stuff called scag!
Crow: Now let me have that tongue of yours!
Crow: Let's strip him! All: Yeah! Come on!
Crow: Yes, Satan, speak to me through this song . . .
Tom: I've decided. I'm gonna do somethin' really stupid!
Tom: I know how toast works.
Tom: I'm up here, honey, with the DT's . . .
Crow: Oh, Carl [Tom: Uh, Cal.] Oh, Cal!
Tom: [You know what my kids would say] You're not my real father!
Tom: Hey, I'm experiencing a sensation altogether new to me . . .
Forrester: Oh, poopie!
Crow: [Yeah, I'll take a walk!] Over to Kirk Douglas's house!
Mike: [Believe me, I do this for a living.] You console European losers?
Tom: [You're a hustler] No, I was IN Hustler.
Crow: You know, it's economical not to have a storyline . . .
Tom: There's just so much litter on the highway!
Tom: . . . Try believing in ESL for a while.
Tom: Wait! It's a gorilla -- with a dog mask on!
Crow: [But at the risk of sounding nuts] I've replaced my toes with grapes.
Crow: [I'm not holding back anything!] Certainly not talent.
Mike: [Running in the streets, doing things] Oh no, not things!
Crow: Hey, don't open your pants, what are you doin'?
Mike: Hey, everyone. Free samples of me.
Tom: [I don't want to sound skeptical] but this is such crap!
Crow: [Wurwulf?] No, WEREwolf. Were - say it.
Crow: Gee, a pig-drunk, passed out security guard, who's surprised?
Crow: Um, if it's Martin, shoot to kill, then I can be in Spawn.
European chick: This is absolutely fascinating.
Mike: He's wonderful!
Crow: I dunno, you guys, I think Ray Liota would make an okay werewolf...
Crow: The cheeseball's got no freakin' class!
Tom: I love you, Earl . . .
Crow: Soylent green is made from people!
Tom: There's something you don't see everyday . . .
Mike: All I can eat, the joke's on them!
Tom: Bite my 5 and a quarter floppy!
Mike: We demand that you set up a delicious buffet!
Mike: I'm as clumsy as a stupid, repulsive anteater.
Tom: Man, never show a good movie in the middle of your crappy movie.
Crow: I seem to have died, is that okay?
Mike: I'm going to get a gloc and mow these people down!
Crow: Where do you want to go today? All over this movie!
Mike: How's your homework honey?
Tom: Yo Jamila!
All: Here's looking at you . . .
Tom: (drunkenly) Falling in love again . . .
Crow: [ . . . not my kind of woman!] *slap* Well, now you are, actually.
Tom: [Mom, m'I nuts?] My nuts?
Tom: [Wait a minute.] My nuts!
Mike: . . . old guys becoming pandas, that's the future! [Crow: Looks that way]
Crow: [Genius, pure genius] couldn't save this film.
Tom: It's rainin' men! Hallelujia!
Tom: You must remember this, this movie really sucks!
Tom: Well, actually I'm size doesn't matter boy.
Crow: Kiss off, slappy!
Tom: [I'm so bored!] Okay, which one of us said that?
Crow: Hooray for socks!
Crow: That steams my mustache!
Crow: Sucked, let's go with that word, movie!
Mike: This is sexual harrassment and I'm gonna take it!
Tom: You make me tingle, Fingal. Are you single? Give me a jingle.
Crow: I'm requesting movie jump up my butt!
Crow: You know you want me, baby!
Tom: Dr. Who . . . the hell cares!
Crow: [You are mine, Fingal!] with burnaise sauce!
Mike: I want more butter on my ham!
Mike: Hi, I'm Satan approved.
Tom: You do this and I will call a legion of beanie babies down on you!
Crow: 'Scuse my juicy belches!
Crow: Remember to believe in magic . . . or I'll kill you.
Mike: He blamed your weiner.
Tom: I'm Bob Jackass.
Mike: Bonjour my friend.
Crow: Hit the pavement, you celtic fairy!
Crow: Chatty Cathy, where you got to go, baby?
Jonathan: I chew places like this up and spit them into the toilet!
Crow: I'll give you a cookie if you shut up!
Tom; Yeah, I got a crack this guy can crawl out of!
Crow: Merlin was a thieving crackhead who fenced VCRs . . .
Crow: What are you doing, Dave?
Crow: Dr. Jerkyl and Mr. Crap!
Crow: So evil wins, Grandpa Borgnine?
Crow: Look at all these gordita wrappers! What have I been doing?
Tom: Hi guy!
Mike: [Uh oh!] I farted!
Tom: Ok, now we're in hell. It finally happened.
Mike: Here's something else Satan created, japanimation.
Mike: I'm being a jerk, honey!
Tom: Let's see her be all tender and tinkly musicy when she's . . .
Tom: Oh, that just lengthens my beard!
Tom: I bid you lick me!
Crow: See, here's his problem. He's going around dressed like that . . .
Mike: I utterly loathe you! You wanna have a baby?
Mike: Brought to you by LSD.
Crow: Well, let's go make love, I guess.
Mike: Munch my shorts!
Crow: I'm going to hit the mystical can.
Crow: A not unattractive girl? Floor it!
Mike: It's Possessy, the clown!
Crow: I just feel all mystically magical, Mike . . .
Tom: Hey Mike, is that Satan's butt? Oh no wait, it's that guy's face.
Crow: Now I gotta send you to hell!
Mike: You insulting my sperm count?
Tom: You stupid bastard! I could stab you in the eyes right now . . .
Mike: Now, time to die!
Tom: You kids get off the grass!
Tom: The mystical shop of yum!
