Things I Hate to See in Snape Fanfictions

There are certain devices or sayings that I have seen many fanfiction writers use that, after reading them so many times, becomes repetitious and boring. Most often they are weak plot devises or signs of uncreativity from the author. Snape can be canon, or really well-done non-canon, and not have so many blatant references to other, illogical things. I've seen it done.

This is just a list of things that are more annoying than detrimental. And of course, if the actions are justified within the fanfic, then they are excusable.

Now see a parody inspired by this list!

-Any use of Veritaserum to make Snape reveal his past (which is often AU)
This occurs more often than I wish. It's a tired plot device -- surely fanfiction writers can manipulate Snape so that he reveals his past in more creative ways!

-"Pay Attention!"
Too reminiscent of the movie.

-Use of Imperio to explain out-of-character behavior, without being justified.
This becomes a weak source to justify any wild behavior. Make sure if it is used to be justified--and not horribly cliché

-Unsolicited rambling, or revealing everything about all characters (most commonly regret from any or all the Marauders).
Writers seem to see gathering of Marauders as a time to reflect on the past, While this is perfectly fine, having all characters do so is repetitious. Such fics quickly seem like a touchy-feely flashback.

-Use of Light vs Dark, Black and White, as synonyms for good vs evil (Or Dumbledore vs Voldemort).
This is Harry Potter, NOT Star Wars.

-Any Post OotP fic that has Snape saying "Voldemort" without fear.
Please, people. Pay attention to canon facts!

-Any reference to outside Muggle world that Snape would have a snowball's chance in hell of knowing (example, knowing Shakespearean sonnets).
The references are nice, however, but can get excessive. Having Snape know about Van Gogh's "Marigolds" is possible; Having Snape know of the TV show "Trading Spaces" (or "Trading Rooms") is just absurd.

-And then creating a history just so that he would know the inane reference.
This can be done, and be done well, but oftentimes I find that it is a way for authors to work their favorite Muggle things into fanfics. Oftentimes these Muggle things do not fit.(See above rambling)

-Implying that the House system at Hogwarts can be transposed to all of Wizard society.
Remember: Hogwarts is NOT the only wizarding school. I can understand if such distinctions are made between alumni (Lucius VS Arthur, for example) but calling all Death Eaters Slytherin does not make sense. (Example -- Karkaroff)

-Referral of Snape as 'protector' of Slytherin house, in which he is there only to groom the Housemates to join the Death Eaters.
This is so old it should be retired.

-Any reference, subtle or not, to Alan RRickman, or any of his movies.
While nice, it takes away from the original spirit of Snape found in the books. Besides, in this case, the writer is using Rickman's version of Snape, not their own.

-Any corruption on 'bewitch the mind, ensnare the senses' or 'bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death'
These are Rowling's words. And, while potent and powerful, I believe it is a sign of a good writer who can take Snape beyond these well-known words and expand him.

-Gratuitous use of sex, in any pairing, without being justified.
This is just common plot sense.

-Any reference to Muggle world in generaal (yearbooks, Wall Mart, glow pens), without being a part of a metaphor or other purpose.
See note at Snape knowing about the Muggle world.

-Snape as Goth, personified. (with accesssories)
A common conception, and a possible interpretation, but I have yet to see a good fanfic to pull it off believably.

-Teenage Snape as Goth, personified.
> See previous comment.

-No indication of his bad childhood (wheen needed to be explained) or undue explanation of angst during childhood
Example:
SNAPE: See, when I was three, Father first beat me...
HARRY: What does this have to do with me passing Potions?
SNAPE: Don't blame me -- I'm under Veritaserum.

-THREE WORDS: Deus. Ex. Machina.
"Deus Ex Machina: 'a god from the machine'; any unexpected or improbable person or event introduced in a play, story, ect."(Standard Encyclopedic Dictionary).
Use of Imperio often comes under this heading. This is just weak and pitiful.

-Product placement.
Snape drinking "Cool Refreshing Coca-cola" -- I've seen it done.

-Failure to have Snape speak in some form of coherent proper English -- he IS a professor.
Lines such as "You ain't no pimp" are not acceptable. And don't try to blame it on Imperio, either!

-Use of images exclusively in the movie, that are so specific that there is an indication that the authors have never read the books (ie, dressing Snape in the costume in the movie)
More of a pet-peeve than anything, it shows a preference to the movie's version of Snape rather than an individual interpretation.

-Needless Snape bashing, especially by fics that bring back Sirius Black just so he can beat Snape up.
This is not a sign of bias again Sirius, or a plea of mercy against Snape, but a desire for logic. Often this scenario includes non-magic brawls, most notably in the halls of Hogwarts.

-Flat OC teachers, especially Defense teachers.
I don't like non-developed characters, especially when the author indicates that there is something memorable in the character, yet it is not shown.

-Also see: the Mary-Sue.
It seems that Snape fics are plagued with Mary Sues -- perfect female characters. These characters tend to eventually get 'hooked up' with Snape

-Use of 'foolish wand-waving' or a corruption of the phrase.
See similar comments for 'betwitch the mind, ensnare the senses', and 'bottle fame, brew glory, and stopper death'

-Use of the following acronyms by characters in conversation: DADA, Voldie, DE, HP, MoM, AK, JKR....
These acronyms were created by fans for convenience. Keep them for the fans. Please. It's more a sign of laziness.

-"If you are prepared..."
An over-used line that was nice the first 500 times I read it....

-The 'James Bond' syndrome: the bad guy (most often Voldemort) explaining the evil plan right before the hero (most often Harry) dies, and then having the hero live through some stroke of luck (deus ex machina, usually)
I know Rowling used this herself, (GoF), but there is no excuse for writers to do so.

-Needlessly long monologues.
I am reminded that 'brevity is the soul of wit.' If a writer can convey the tone of the monologue without having it spill pages and pages, then it sould be done. Especially for situations such as : explanations of Marauder's behavior (the Flashback), or Snape pouring out his emotions.

- ANY comparison to Snape as a vampyre, nosferatu, walking undead, just because he's pale
While legitimate, JKRowling has disproved that he's a vampire. Also, for those of you that might use this metaphorically, it's still old and lame and has very little creativity in the comparison.

- Use of 'cutsey' Snape nicknames: Snapie, Snappy, Sev, Sevvie, those along this vein.
Part laziness, part tendency for those with unexplaniable tendencies to make Snape "cute".

-The plot device that Snape is really an attractive man who uses some sort of magic to "hide" his beauty. Especially for some plot against the Death Eaters.
This one makes me sick and is only the product of those trying to find some redeeming physical quality of Snape to match his "kewlness".

-Gratuitous use of profanity in Snape's dialogue.
Snape does not blurt out an entire line of explicatives whenever he, say, stubs his toe. The most we've seen from his is a few occurances of "damn", but they were in private and never in front of the students.

Any questions, comments, additions, subtractions, multiplications, or divisions, do not hesitate to email me.