We made the almost fatal mistake of attending one of these unglamorous parties to celebrate the birthday of the Doctor (52). There we met bitchy, nasty, vicious, evil, manipulative queens who gossiped behind our backs while trying to get into our collective pants.
Looking back, the birthday party resembled an episode from that tacky 70s series, The Love Boat. Aboard for our voyage we were greeted by Captain Stubing (the Doctor), two Gophers and a collection of other flotsam and jetsam. The ensuing melodramatics would be worthy of an episode of that series, except that instead of having a happy ending, we almost ran aground. Perhaps the only saving grace from the wash up from that night was that no one wore awful 70s clothing.
Before charting our course for the party, and destiny, I spring cleaned the house. Not surprisingly, I was exhausted by the time I had to dress for the party. But if spring cleaning the house was demanding then choosing the right outfit was even harder work. What do you wear for a birthday party? I waited till Kevin choose his outfit, a stunning gold and black floral Versace-style shirt with blue jeans, before deciding on mine (see 'Into the Blender').
After trying on ten different shirts I finally settled on an electric blue silk shirt and tight-fitting taupe jeans. The stress of trying to find the right outfit had left me even more tired than the housework. My tiredness would prove to be a significant factor in the ensuing drama.
Arriving at the Captain�s (the Doctor�s) fabulous penthouse-style apartment with views of Sydney harbour we joined the small number of guests already assembled (five) on the balcony. The Captain had invited a contingent of Asian men for the night. I had never met any of these men but was immediately pleased with the guests. I have always found Asian men to be gentle, polite and charming and a welcome change to Anglo-Saxon men who are usually more cool, direct and formal. It was to turn out that my assumptions on this occasion was to be wildly off the mark for some of the men concerned.
One thing I did note about this group of men assembled where that none where over about 25. Both Kevin and myself have observed with some irony that for someone that is a counsellor, the doctor is hopeless when it comes to finding Mr Right. And for someone that spends a large part of his time counselling gay men who fall out of love he seems very bad at finding a partner to fall in love with. Most of the men we have seen him with have been bright young things who quickly fizzle out.This party was no different.
I often went to parties in the vain hope that I�d meet the equivalent of an Oscar Wilde or an Einstein....It quickly became clear, after introductions by the Captain, that there where no brilliant minds present.
I often went to parties in the vain hope that I�d meet the equivalent of an Oscar Wilde or an Einstein or at the very least find someone with half a brain to chat with for a few hours. Instead, I usually ended up with some hairdresser or real estate agent who bores me to death with talk about the angst involved in bleaching hair or selling properties. It quickly became clear, after introductions by the Captain, that there where no brilliant minds present. And I really wasn't surprised when I learned that one of the Asian contingent was a hairdresser and the other a businessman. Neither was I surprised that no scintillating intellectual conversation flowed from these two. It was just lame jokes and forced pleasantries as we stood awkwardly on the balcony. While the spectacular view of the harbour was nice to view I could see this was going to be a long night.
