| APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER |
| okay, so this is a funny thing my dad got once.. I found it humorous.. poor guys.. :) |
| NAME: _____________________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH:______________________________ HEIGHT:______________________ WEIGHT:__________________ IQ:_______________ GPA:__________________ SS#:___________________________ DRIVERS LICENSE:_______________________________ BOY SCOUT RANK:________________________________________________________________________________ DO YOU HAVE ONE MALE AND ONE FEMALE PARENT?_______________________________________________ NUMBER OF YEARS PARENTS MARRIED:____________________ DO YOU OWN A VAN?____________________ A TRUCK WITH OVERSIZED TIRES?_______________________ A WATERBED?_____________________ DO YOU HAVE AN EARRING, NOSE RING, OR BELLY BUTTON RING?_______________ TATTOO?___________ In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?___________________________ (Attach additional pages with responses as needed) In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?_______________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?_______________________________________________ Church you attend:________________________________________________________ When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and pastor? ______________________________ Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely. All answers are strictly confidential. (That means I wont tell anyone, ever) A. If I were ever shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is: ________________________________________________________________________________________ B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ________________________________________________________________________________________ C. A woman's place is in the _________________________________________ D. The one thing I hope this Application does not ask is: _____________________________________________ E. When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is: ____________________________________________ (NOTE: If answer begins with T or an A, discontinue and leave premises. Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised) What do you want to be IF you grow up?___________________________________________________________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKER, AND HILLARY CLINTION KISS TORTURE. Applicant's Signature:__________________________________________________________ (That means sign your name, stupid) Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in wiring if you are approved. Please do not call or write (you probably can't anyway). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by 2 gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back). |
| NOTE: This Application will be imcomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. |