The reason is simple. In 2003 the City of Rimville decided to create its own internet mapping service. Google responded by removing any trace of Rimville from its maps and even created fake wilderness in Google Earth. Other search engines have since followed suit. Click here to view a map of Rimville.
What kind of turtle is Pedro?
Thank you for asking. Pedro is a Big Head Amazon River Turtle.
I see you've published your address on this website. Aren't you worried about crazy people stalking you?
Oh lord no. The Bistro compound was armed with automated weapons turrets in preparation for the upcoming oil shortage/race war/zombie outbreak. Rest assured, trespassers will be quickly transformed into a red smear.
Who would win in a fight: E.T. or the Chipmunks?
The Chipmunks, but it would cost Alvin and Theodore their lives.
Why were you named Harland instead of a traditional French name?
Why don't you shut up?
How's the surfing in Rimville?
I am sorry, you have mistaken me for a shiftless hippy.
Do you believe the moon landing was faked?
Just the part with the moon.
Have you ever served in a war?
No, but I proudly created propoganda for the Spanish-American War.
Will you ever learn to forgive the Spanish?
No.
Wait a second. How did Stanley Tucci summon icebergs from the depths of the ocean? Icebergs float on top. Duh.
Well they were magical icebergs that he magically made. Also duh.
Why does your age show as being 99 on MySpace?
Because the bastards who run MySpace (I'm looking at you Tom, you grinning jerk) would not let me enter my real age. Apparently they have no troubles taking a dump on the oldest living American.
That is why they're so happy.