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The Final Showdown |
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Back Home |
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You trudge your way uphill and down dale, facing perils unbeknownst to man, and other such thingumajiggers, until finally you arrive at your goal: the very castle you are looking for. There you see a very nasty looking place with gargoyles so nasty that even the crowiest crows won't live in them, and sub-standard Hollywood featuring lightning the only way to see in this evil place. As the proud, noble, and ever so slightly stupid type of chap that you are, you knock on the front door and demand:
"Open up, I've come to kill you, Mr Evil Overlord!" |
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Rather surprisingly, a dragon (disappointingly rendered to your left, unless you have your screen on some odd reverse setting, in which case it will be on the right) appears to face you. It appears that the reason Away has yet to be rescued is that the overlord is rather a nasty lizard type of creature. Bugger. |
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Ignoring your requests to have a cup of tea, some crumpets and talk about it instead, the dragon decides to have at you, young upstart to his throne that you are. His first flame breath neatly removes your nostril hair (quite usefully actually, as your Remington Nostril hair Remover had broken the week before hand and you had started to acquire a nasal fringe) and his second breath sends you scarpering, wondering if your ego has been writing cheques your body can't cash. From your vantage point behind a stony outcropping you notice what a very big chap indeed Mr Dragon is, and how scary it will be to fight the damned beast.
However, you don't gain a place in a ficticious quest without at least a smidgeon of improbable bravery, and hence you draw your extra large sword (pictured right, in extra large style. Not in scale with dragon, obviously, otherwise the dragon would be tiny, and a sense of excitement is already hard enought to encourage in you apathetic reading types, without smalling it with non-scary mini-dragons), with smiting attachment, and prepare to have back at him. After gathering your courage, you charge out, yelling your family battle cry:
"Ooh, you meanie, please can't we solve this in a non violent manner!?"
(it sounds better when screamed with a huge sword in your armoured palm)
Avoiding the flaming dragony breath you appraoach within smiting distance, what do you do? |
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Decide it's not worth Aim for the eye with
it after all and run away your sword tip
Try and smash for his goolies Find the infamous 'dragon weak spot'
and slash at it manically. |
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