You don't have clean up pine needles because your pine tree dies in your house you sadistic bastard
You don't have to put up with the smell
You don't have to cut it down
They're less expensive
You don't have to get one EVERY SINGLE YEAR
At least my old man got a kiddie tree that way it will never know such horrible afflictions such as say having a squirrel live in it, becoming an expendable office supply, or being cut down to be a christma..... Oh wait it's in the house isn't it. Well looks like both you and me are fucked this year buddy but at least i'll out live you BWAHAHAAA!!!!!
Oh and if you do believe the true spirit of christmas is in giving don't bother if you're too stupid to figure out....
WHAT NOT TO GIVE PEOPLE FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!
1. A prozac pen JESUS FUCKING CHRIST HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY DO THAT IN TODAY'S AGE OF QUESTIONING EVERYONE'S SANITY AND GIVING BULLSHIT DRUGS TO "CURE" THEM.
Good job asshole now go to the optometrist on monday to get that pen I just shoved in your eye looked at
2. A gift card. "Oh well I couldn't/didn't want to/ hate to get your gifts so to make me feel like less of an asshole I got you a gift card for some place that you might shop at. MEEERYYY CHRISTMAS!!!!"
Shove it asshole if you want to give me a gift card tell me in advance so I can give you one too. To the local Bondage club in your AIDS infested neighborhood.
3. Any kind of Plastic surgery. Well let's see what's wrong with this... "Honey, what's this?" "An appointment slip for breast augmentation surgery why do you ask?" "Oh... I guess I'll get those penis enlargement pills/face lift appointment slip for you then"
Oh and just in case you're wondering both of them would get punched in the face becuase they're both assmunching shitdicks.
4. A rant filled website Yea that's right go fuck yourselves