1. They don't where the fuck they are yet STILL want a pizza delivered to them.
These assfuckers can't even give you the right building number or when you ask them "where are you located?" they have to ask some other moron. If you don't even know where the hell you are then why the fuck are you calling a pizza place to have a pizza delivered to you? Did it come to you that we might need to know where the fuck to bring the pizza nimrod? Do everyone a favor and just hang up the phone and stick to the chow hall assuming you can find it fucktard!
2. Even though you tell them to wait downstairs or outside for their pizza because you can't even get in the SUPER TOP SECRET building. They don't and then get pissed when their pizza's sold.
Look morons we have a busy schedule. If you can't even follow simple instructions in order to get your shit, guess what, I personally will sell your shit to somebody else who obviously wants it more than you do. How ironic that these retards have to follow and take orders constantly yet somehow can't do this ONE simple TASK!!
Oh but we don't want to wait downstairs that long. BOOHOO!!!
If you don't want to wait then listen to these words....
DON'T ORDER FUCKING PIZZA!!!!! Even if teleportation technology was available we'd still have to make the god forsaken thing. If you can't wait anywhere we tell you to for your pizza (so long as it's not too unreasonable) then you don't want your pizza and I will take great pleasure in making more off your pizza then I would if I actually gave it you. I've done this shit at LEAST 30 fucking times and EEEEVERY SINGLE TIME I made more than 5 bucks (more than you shit dicks ever tipped unless it was a huge order) GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND COME AND GET YOUR PIZZA!!!!
3. Even though they know they somehow reached a pizza shop they have NO FUCKING CLUE what we have!!!
"Oh what's the list of toppings you have"
"do you guys have chicken/tomato/buffalo chicken/anchovies/.....?"
Me: "we have Coke, diet coke, Nestea and Sprite."
Moron: "I'll take Mountain Dew."
Me:"......."
The picture at the top was an actual exchange between me and some fuck off from fort dix. Alright I can understand there's going to be some difference from shop to shop but come the fuck on. I need to tell you EVERY FUCKING TOPPING WE HAVE!! Jesus fucking christ!!!