I’ll Be Watching You: A Quiet Interlude
Episode 2
Beside the inn, there is a small, carefully tended garden. An ancient cherry tree serves as the center piece. In the spring, it must be very beautiful, but now it is summer and the delicate flowers are a distant memory. There is a large boulder at the base of the tree; it has been weathered by centuries of rain. On a small ledge near the ground, Kagura sits, holding a dull mirror. The other members of her group have all found ways to distract themselves, and the villagers dare not approach a full grown demoness. She is lost in thought, and the sound of the wind in the tree. She does not see Kohaku until he says her name. After searching the entire inn, and a portion of the town around it, he has finally found the object of his search. She looks up at him; her eyes speak of tears, but there are none on her face. She sees such sorrow in the boy’s eyes, and has difficulty understanding why he is upset. He sits down with his back to the tree and asks, “So, Kanna, is she dead?” Kagura responds, “I guess you could say that. She won’t be coming back, but she may still exist in her own way.” He pauses for a moment. He looks at her and asks, “That’s all you have of her, isn’t it?” She nods. After another pause, he says, “Look, you don’t have a home, and…what I mean is you need…there should be a place, where you could go to be with her. I haven’t seen it yet, Sango probably thinks I’m not ready, maybe she’s right…anyway, after Naraku destroyed our village, Inuyasha and the others came and made a cemetery. You have nowhere of your own and…I’m sure Sango wouldn’t mind…it’s just a thought but…those are her remains. I was thinking that, if you wanted, you could…we could give her a grave there…at my home.” Kagura places a hand on his cheek and gives a small smile. She asks, “Could the memory of an incarnation of the demon who slaughtered them find peace among the souls of demon slayers.” Kohaku takes her hand. He says, “Your sister would be welcome among others who were also Naraku’s victims.” They stay like that for a few minutes. He says, “I’m sorry for the way they all looked at you, the villagers.” “It’s alright.” she says. “They are right to fear me. I’m a monster.” “No you’re not!” he says, his voice heavy with emotion. “I’m a monster. I killed innocent people. All you ever did was fight Naraku’s battles for him. I’ve earned their hatred and their fear, but you haven’t.” She says, “Kohaku, I’m a demon. Human being could never accept me.” He says, “That’s not true. Kagome is like a mother to Shippo, Kirara and my sister are inseparable, and I…” He looks away. “I don’t hate you Kagura. Maybe it’s because I am a monster, but I don’t hate you, I…I can’t hate you.” Kagura says, reproachfully, “Kohaku stop this. You are not a monster. Naraku used you: he killed those people. That week in Naraku’s dungeon, you proved to me that you are nothing like a monster. You were born pure and even Naraku couldn’t corrupt you. But me, I will always carry a piece of him within me. Demons don’t mind evil; at least most of them don’t. I can be among them with little shame. But Naraku’s evil will always hold me from the world of men.” She rises to leave, but he grabs her arm. Kohaku says, “What if you’re wrong? What if you’re not what you think you are; what he made you think you are?” Kagura is taken aback. “What do you mean?” she asks. He says, “I was there from Naraku’s first incarnation through all but his most recent. All of you faced Inuyasha and all of you died; except for Kanna and you. It was the same enemy and you still lost, so your survival must be based on what makes you two different from the others.” She says, “Not necessarily, it could have…” He cuts her off, “Please Kagura, just listen to me! The others all embodied greed or hatred or violence or cruelty. But you embodied the wind and your sister embodied void. Wind and void, these are different from the others. What is a void?” Kagura takes a moment to realize that the question is directed at her. When she does, she is at a loss for words, at first. Eventually, she says, “Nothingness, emptiness, hopelessness.” The boy says, “Yes, or at least that’s what it is at first glance. But void is also peace and tranquility: when there is nothing, there can’t be any hatred. You, you are the wind. From the first instant you existed you have wanted freedom. The wind represents spirit and a love of life. Tranquility and love of life, if Naraku found these within himself he would despise them. The others were all extensions of Naraku’s evil. But you two were different. My sister told me about Muso, the man born when Naraku tried to force his human heart out. What if you and your sister were vessels for parts of himself that hindered Naraku’s cruelty?” Kagura says, “But Naraku wanted me to return to his flesh. He wanted me to want it.” Kohaku says, “What would he have to fear from a broken spirit? If you gave up, you would no longer be a danger to him.” “Kohaku,” she says, “I wish it could be true, but it isn’t.” “I don’t care!” he says, tears trickling down his cheeks. “I want it to be true. I need it to be true. I can’t accept that you’re evil; I won’t.” The demoness takes her free hand and catches a tear from his face. She brings it to her lips and closes her eyes. She draws the boy into an embrace, and says, “Even if you’re right, even if I’m not evil, that’s still what people will think of me. And if you’re not careful, they’ll label you with the same ink. As long as a monk, a demon slayer, and a priestess have him on a leash, a half-demon like Inuyasha will be tolerated. But I don’t have that. If you try to be my…friend, you could be rejected by your own species. I don’t want that to happen. I want you to be safe.” He says, “Kagura, I won’t sit back and watch people hurt you. My sister and the others like you. If they can learn, then so can other humans. If I can’t make them understand that you’re good, maybe I don’t want to be with them. In the dungeon, I wanted to protect you, so much. If I can’t do that now, then how is this freedom any different?” She says, “You did protect me. You fought off my fear, my pain, and my despair. Then later, you rescued me when I died. You even gave me a soul. Now I want to protect you. If you had to face that kind of rejection because of me…I don’t want that. You don’t need to hate me, or fear me. But they need to not know that. You can’t be seen as a demon-lover.” He blushes as he asks, “But what if I am? What if I do like you, or even love you?” She looks down at him. “Lie.” she says. He takes a while to consider this. Eventually, he looks up and asks, “But you’ll still stay?” She says, “Yes, I’ll stay awhile longer. What brought that up?” He hesitates. “In the cave, I saw Naraku. He told me that you were going to find the strongest demon male you could and go to him. He said I shouldn’t care about you because you would never care about me.” She strokes his hair and says, “Kohaku, you should know by now that Naraku tells lies wrapped in half-truths. A part of me wants that. A part of me wants Sesshomaru to take me as his mate and to never see you again. But that is only one part. Another part, at least as strong, wants to be with you. I also want to never leave your side. I want to protect you, while you protect me. I want to heal the scars Naraku gave you and have you heal mine. I’m not sure what I’m going to do in the end, but I’m not leaving now and I do care about you. Now please Kohaku, you’re so much better at it then I am, please sing that song again.” He sings the lullaby and they watch the sun set.