Fluff Daddy
The TV studio is full of camerapersons, directors, and other assorted
crew members as the show gets ready to air. A young woman, no older
than 20 years of age, enters the scene. She sits down in a chair on the
elaborate hip-hop themed set. Her show is called "Josie's Rap World".
Needless to say, her name is Josie. She tosses her dark brown hair and
she is given facial treatment from the makeup lady. Soon, it is almost
time to begin recording the program.
Josie: All right, let's get this show started! I can't believe
I get to interview the one and only Fluff Daddy!
Stagehand: Uh-oh, here comes Jenkins.
Mr. Jenkins, the head of the TV station enters the studio. The
middle-aged bald man's business suit clashes with his urban surroundings. He
takes a seat next to Josie.
Josie: What are you doing here?
Jenkins: Mr. Daddy has a--
Josie (snickering): Mr. Daddy?
Jenkins: I believe in being formal, thank you very much.
Anyway, he has a habit of using obscenities and profanities. I want to make
sure that the censors can catch everything.
Josie: You're using bleeps, aren't you? I hate bleeps.
Jenkins: No bleeps. Every time that he swears, a word that
starts with the same letter as the swear word will be put in its place.
NOTE: this will be represented by words in parentheses during
dialogue.
Stagehand: Um, after hearing that, bleeps sound better.
Jenkins: Be quiet, Mr. Minimum Wage Worker That I Can Easily
Replace. See? I'm very formal.
Director: We'll begin rolling in two minutes.
Josie: You hear that? Get out of here!
Jenkins (standing): If you weren't my daughter, I'd fire
you.
Jenkins leaves the set. The director counts down and the cameras
roll.
Josie: It's me Josie and welcome to Josie's Rap World! You've
seen the ads, you've heard the buzz, you know who's here today. The #1
Hip-Hop Artist in the world...and hopefully my future husband...Fluff
Daddy!
The doors on the right side of the set open. Fluff Daddy's giant
entourage of people appear, wearing sunglasses and matching black suits.
They get organized and the man himself makes his first appearance. He
wears a Pittsburgh Steelers football jersey with his giant fluffy
attachment over his right shoulder. At his left side are his two swords that
he carries with him everywhere. He wears his trademark sunglasses over
his eyes. On his head is a slightly crooked black baseball cap. Fluff
Daddy wears a large gold chain around his neck. His pants are baggy
blue jeans. His basketball shoes are quite stylish. Fluff Daddy sits
down as Josie admires his long silver hair.
Josie: Wow...it's really you!
FD: Yeah, it's me. Hurry this (stove) up. I have a really
expensive car to buy and then show off in my next video.
Josie: Right. So, I'll be asking you some questions--
FD: I didn't kill him. I won't say a (freaking) thing without
my (muddy fudging) lawyer.
Josie: ......
FD: Wait...you ain't a cop, are you?
Josie: No...
FD: Aw, cool. Ask your questions.
Josie: First of all, how did you get the name "Fluff Daddy?"
FD: You can�t be that (frisbee) stupid. Look at my (football)
shoulder. What does that look like to you?
Josie: A fluffy thing.
FD: There you go. (Shop).
Josie: Can I touch it?
FD: No.
Josie: Fine. What about "Daddy?" Do you have any kids?
FD: Not that I know of.
Josie: Yeah...how about those two swords? What's the story with
those?
FD (points to blades): These? Ah, I got these for protection
an' (shock). People always trying to take me out, so I take them out
first...if I have to.
Josie: Do they have names?
FD: Love and Hate. I love one an' I hate the other.
He grabs Hate (Tenseiga) and squeezes it.
FD: This (muncher forking) piece of (Shaq) is worth (short)!
Fluff Daddy throws the sword in a fit of rage. It almost impales a
stagehand standing near the donut table.
Josie: Wow...intense. How about your music?
FD: What?
Josie: I loved your rap with DJ Jaken called "Whazup M'Lord?"
It's on every CD that I burn.
FD (stands up): YOU (feedbag) BURN (gourd dame) CD'S WITH MY
(flossing) MUSIC? I SHOULD BEAT YOUR (Martha fiddling asp) RIGHT NOW!
Josie: I...don't...steal the music...I buy the original CD's
first...
FD (sits down): Good. It was gonna get all ugly and (shrimp) up
in here.
Josie: We also have DJ Jaken here. Would he please enter the
studio?
DJ Jaken enters. He is very short and green. His clothes are all way
too big and he barely manages to avoid stumbling over his shirt. Jaken
has a harder time walking since his gold chain is too heavy for him.
The necklace drags on the ground behind him. A stagehand feels pity for
him and helps Jaken into his seat next to Fluff Daddy.
Jaken: I wanna shout out to all my boys back in the Western
Lands!
FD: You ain't got no damn boys, fool.
Jaken: But I can pretend, fo' shizzle.
Josie: Hey Jaken!
Jaken: Whazup Josieizzle, I love your show.
FD: Stop with the (flinching) "izzle" talk.
Jaken: I talkizzle like thisizzle since it's coolizzle. It's
how I roll, fo' shizzle dizzle. It's who I amizzle, DJ Jakenizzle. They
call them Twizzlers but they don't twizzle. Whazup wit' dat?
Josie: ...
FD: Jaken...
Jaken: I should shut up now, shouldn't I?
FD: Please.
Josie: How long have you guys known each other?
FD: Too long.
Jaken: Did you know that I helped him hook up with Missy Kagura
a while back?
FD: SHUT THE (frog) UP!
Josie: Ooh, I didn't know that you two had a thing going on.
FD: We don't. That (branch) is crazy, leaving weird (arch)
messages on my machine an� (soap).
Josie: What about Lil' Rin? How is she doing?
FD: Who? You mean that girl? She's cool, I guess.
Josie: When you three got together for "The Fluff is Your
Master", it was awesome.
FD: Yeah. Sure. I hope you paid for the CD that song came
on.
Josie: I did, I did. Enough about friends. Any upcoming
projects that you'd like to mention?
FD: Yeah, my next album, "Dawg Demon", will be out next month.
And I'm launching my clothing line called "Fluff Stuff" in time for the
holidays.
Josie: Sweet! Moving on, tell us about how that fight went down
between you and Na-Rocku at the Really Cool Music Awards last year.
FD: That punk? He's jealous of me. He's some weak wannabe rock
star while I'm making millions of dollars.
Josie: He must have been really jealous since he hit you over
the head with a guitar.
FD: Yeah and then I shoved a mic stand down his throat.
Josie: What started it?
Jaken: Oh! Na-Rocku was mad since Missy Kagura left his band to
perform with Fluff Daddy.
FD: The host was asking me, wasn't she?
Jaken: Oops.
Josie: That explains that. Well, what about your rival rapper,
Mirokoolio? Rumor has it that he got a black eye from you.
FD: I never touched that (ash hold). He mistreats his woman an'
(Shrek). She punched him in the eye; I saw the whole thing.
Jaken: That's the story his lawyer tells him to say.
Fluff Daddy wraps his hand around DJ Jaken's neck. He turns to
Josie.
FD: Excuse us for one second.
He takes Jaken backstage. The sounds of punches and stomps echo
throughout the studio, along with Jaken's voice expressing the pain he is
undergoing. Fluff Daddy comes back onto the set by himself.
Josie: Where's Jaken?
FD: I don't care and neither should you.
Josie: OK...the last person I want to talk about is...
Sin-uyasha, a punk rock star who's status rivals that of his rapper
brother, barges onto the set. He has long white hair and piercings all
over his face. At his side is a sword. He is shirtless; his tattooed
chest and back are exposed. One tattoo on his right shoulder is a heart
and it reads "Kagome". Oddly enough, a similar tattoo is on his left
shoulder and it reads "Kikyo".
SIN: Heh! I've found you!
FD (standing again): WHAT THE (fridge) ARE YOU DOING HERE?
SIN: I'm going to kill you! That Best New Artist Award was
mine! You rigged the votes!
FD: You just don't have talent. If you were better than me, you
would have won, little brother.
SIN: I'm not little! And I'm going to kick your (Alps)!
Sin-uyasha tackles his brother and the siblings roll around on the
floor, clawing and punching at one another. Fluff Daddy's entourage stand
by and watch. They get paid to follow the rapper, not to help him when
trouble starts up. Fluff Daddy unsheathes his other sword, Love
(Tokijin). Sin-uyasha wields his sword, Overkiller (Tetsusaiga). The blades
clash against one another.
Josie: Oh my. I didn't even know he was here. Well, I guess
that's it for Josie's Rap World today. Tomorrow, my guest will be the
King of Old School Rap, Toto-Psycho. See ya later!
The cameras fade out and the brothers continue to fight.
THE END