Night of the Ninja

The time is nightfall. The weather is rainy. The place is feudal Japan. A lone figure jumps from rooftop to rooftop in a tranquil village. The quiet of the night is disrupted by the horrified screams of people reaching the end of their lives at the hands of this unknown being. Once all the men, women and children have been eliminated, the stealthy killer slinks off into the forest.

The next night, Inuyasha and his team are walking on their search for various things: Sacred Jewel shards, Naraku and his company, hot scantilly-clad women...OK, only Miroku is searching for that. They rest in a village. Miroku uses his "charm" to con someone into giving them a place to stay. The someone is an old man named Taka.

Taka: Have you all heard the stories about the Silent Killer?

Shippo: We've dealt with the Silent Killer, but only if Inuyasha ate beans recently.

Inuyasha swiftly bops Shippo on the head. Kagome scolds him and asks Taka to continue.

Taka: They say that a ninja goes from village to village, killing everyone without leaving a trace. The village next to ours was recently wiped out. I fear that we may be next.

Miroku: Well, if this ninja shows up, we'll teach her a lesson.

Taka: The rumors say that the ninja is male.

Miroku: Male? Damn. And I really wanted to see a kunoichi in tight--

Sango slaps Miroku across the face and he falls over.

Sango: This is serious! Taka, we'll take care of the ninja if he shows up tonight.

Taka: Bless you! Bless you all!

Soon, everyone is sound asleep except for Inuyasha. He sits on the floor, clutching to Tetsusaiga, eager to destroy the ninja. A woman screams from outside, but she is quickly silenced. Inuyasha stands up immediately.

Inuyasha: Wake up! The ninja's here!

Kagome and the others get up and grab their weapons. They follow Inuyasha outside. A dead woman is found in the village square. As Kagome investigates her body, another scream, this time a boy child, comes from a nearby house. Seconds later, another female scream from a house across the square. Soon, screams are bouncing all over the village. Inuyasha transforms Tetsusaiga.

Inuyasha: SHOW YOURSELF! I'LL CUT YOU INTO RIBBONS!

The screams stop. Everyone is awed by the sudden silence. The team is now staring at Inuyasha. He doesn't understand why.

Inuyasha: Hey! What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something in my teeth?

Inuyasha turns around and is face-to-face with the ninja. He is a few inches taller than Inuyasha. His face is concealed behind a black mask that only has a slit for his eyes to see through. There is a large tear on the top that allows his spiky black hair to stand upward. He appears to be in his late-twenties as far as age is concerned. From head to toe, his body is covered in black. On his waist is a belt that holds several pouches. He has six swords on his back. Inuyasha backs away a bit to get some distance between him and his opponent.

Inuyasha: OK, you bastard! What's the big idea of killing all of these people?

Ninja: Red kimono...silver hair...dog ears...I think I've heard stories about you. Aren't you Inuyasha?

Kagome: Didn't your mother teach you to never to answer a question with a question?

The ninja lowers his head and appears to be crying.

Ninja: My mother died shortly after giving birth to me. I never have, and never will, know the gentle warmth and care that a mother has for her son.

Kagome: I'm sorry...I didn't know...I...

Ninja: "Sorry" won't take back what you've said.

Kagome: Please don't cry. Here, take my handkerchief...

Inuyasha: WILL YOU STOP IT, KAGOME! This guy is a killer!

The angered half-demon turns to the ninja, filled with rage.

Inuyasha: You disgust me! Killing women and children...where is your sense of honor?

Ninja: No, no, no. That's a common misconception. Samurai have honor. Ninja do not. We do things for cash. And it must be cash. I once finished an employer when he tried to pay me with his beautiful daughter's hand in marriage.

Miroku: You refused that? What the hell's the matter with you?

Another slap comes from Sango. Miroku closes his mouth.

Ninja: Allow to introduce myself properly. I am called "Hayakage." And this, my dear friends, is the last night of your young lives.

Shippo: We aren't your friends!

Hayakage: I know, you moron. It's a--never mind.

Hayakage calmly throws a massive amount of shuriken (ninja stars) at the group. Inuyasha bats them away with Tetsusaiga.

Inuyasha: Loser! Is that all you've got?

Hayakage: You clearly see that I have SIX swords on my back, yet you ask if that's all I've got. You're dumber than they say you are.

Inuyasha: I'll beat y--WHO SAID I WAS DUMB?!

Shippo picks up a shuriken from off the ground. He looks at an engraved kanji on the metal and reads it.

Shippo: Chikara?

Hayakage nods and shows off some more shuriken from a pouch on his belt.

Hayakage: That's right! Chikara Inc. makes the best shuriken and ninja weaponry that money can buy. You won't believe our low, low prices!

The ninja pulls out a catalog and brings it over to Shippo. Miroku looks through it as well.

Miroku: Hey! They're having a sale on kunai knives!

Inuyasha: What the hell? You're also a salesman?

Hayakage: Ninja = night job. Salesman = day job. Can I get you guys anything? A katana? Maybe a pair of nunchaku?

Inuyasha: SHUT UP! You're going to pay for all the people that you've killed!

Hayakage snatches away the catalog. He unsheathes one of his swords. Inuyasha blinks confusedly.

Inuyasha: Why do you have six swords anyway? You only have two hands.

Hayakage: This a demonstration sword. The other five are merchandise. I can't use them or I'll decrease their value.

Hayakage runs at Inuyasha and fights against the Tetsusaiga. Hayakage kicks Inuyasha away. Sango uses this opportunity to throw her hiraikotsu at Hayakage. He remarkably blocks the weapon with a metal guard on his left forearm.

Sango: Impossible!

Hayakage: Not really. Chikara arm guards can stop anything. I can sell you a pair, if you want.

Shippo leaps over Sango's head and throws a fireball towards the ninja.

Shippo: FOXFIRE!

Hayakage shields his head as the flames hit him. They eventually burn out and Hayakage remains virtually unscathed.

Hayakage: My suit is made from non-flammable fabric. I have one in your size, squirt. What do you say?

Sango and Shippo aggressively charge at Hayakage. He jumps backward and throws a pair of bola traps at them, wrapping them up so that they cannot move.

Hayakage: Buy five bola traps, get the sixth one free. Interested? No? I thought not...

Kirara flies in and Hayakage uses a smoke bomb on her. She coughs repeatedly and loses consciousness.

Hayakage: Smoke bombs are also on sale.

Miroku holds up his right hand.

Miroku: WIND TUNNEL!!

Hayakage throws a poisoned dart right into the center of the Wind Tunnel. Miroku writhes in pain and closes his right hand. He lowers to his knees, clutching his wrist.

Hayakage: A free set of poisoned darts with every pair of daggers that you purchase. This offer won't last long. Supplies are limited.

Inuyasha: Enough with the advertisements!

Inuyasha goes to fight the ninja again. Hayakage knocks Tetsusaiga away and impales Inuyasha with his sword. The half demon falls to the ground. Hayakage puts the katana away.

Hayakage: That weapon appears to have been made by Totosai. If you had a Chikara brand katana, this wouldn't have happened.

Everyone is down except for Kagome. She holds her bow with an arrow aimed directly at Hayakage. Kagome fires a sacred arrow. Hayakage uses his speed to jump out of the way.

Hayakage: Impressive. I don't sell anything like that. If you give me the bow and all those arrows, I'll leave.

Kagome: You will? But...um...OK.

Inuyasha trembles and slowly stands up.

Inuyasha: KAGOME! Don't trust him!

Hayakage: Look at it this way, Kahone...

Kagome: KA-GO-ME!

Hayakage: Whatever. None of your friends can help you now. I could easily kill you and take the arrows. But I'm being nice. Give them to me and I'll spare all of your lives.

Kagome thinks for a moment and hands her weaponry over to Hayakage. He inspects them and then leaps off into the night. His voice trails off as he disappears.

Hayakage: Thanks, kid. We'll meet again, dog demon!

Kagome checks out Inuyasha's wound. Inuyasha is cross with her.

Inuyasha: Why did you give him your arrows? You're a fool!

Kagome: He's the fool. He won't be able to empower the arrows like I can.

Inuyasha: You ripped him off then?

Kagome: Yep. But he'll probably try to rip some other sucker off with them though...

The next morning, Miroku is recovering from the poison, thanks to a remedy from Taka. Kirara is also doing well after sleeping off the effects of the smoke bomb. Kagome makes breakfast. Everyone else enters the small house after spending most of the morning burying Hayakage's victims.

Miroku: But why was he going around killing people? Someone must have paid him to do it.

Sango: I bet it was Naraku.

Miroku: Why?

Sango: It's ALWAYS Naraku.

Miroku: You have a good point.

Shippo: Actually, if you read the fine print in the catalog, it said something like: "those who do not pay their bills will receive swift death."

Taka: OH! That explains it. I remember now. He was here two weeks ago and he sold our village a lot of weapons and goods. Oops.

Inuyasha: OOPS!? We could have been killed!

Taka: But you're alive, aren't you?

Inuyasha: BUT YOU WON'T BE! IRON REAVER SOU--

Kagome: Sit boy!

Inuyasha's face meets the hard wooden floor. Kagome shakes her head and continues with her cooking.

Meanwhile, Hayakage makes his way inside Naraku's castle. He navigates the halls and reaches the villain himself. Naraku is surprised to see him.

Naraku: Who are you? How did you get past my barrier?

Hayakage: Chikara brand spell-breakers are the best in the world. As for who I am, I'm merely a humble salesman. I have a special on arrows today. Interested?

THE END