Your Order Is Ready

Sota Higurashi sits in his bedroom, reading a hefty tankobon of manga. He finds a good stopping point and marks his page. Sota looks up and Inuyasha stands before him, a pleasant surprise for the child.

Sota: Inuyasha! You're here!

Inuyasha: No, I'm still in the feudal era. Of course I'm here! Where's Kagome?

Sota: You need her to help find jewel shards?

Inuyasha: That...and I actually miss her cooking. The stuff Kaede feeds us tastes like something a dog would eat.

Sota: But aren't you a dog demon?

Inuyasha: SHUT UP! Where's Kagome?

Sota: She wants to buy a ticket for a concert and has no money...so she got a job at McDonald's.

Inuyasha: Mack Who-What's?

Sota: It's a fast food restaurant.

Inuyasha: How can food be fast?

Sota: Just go to the building with the giant Golden Arches. Leave this house and turn right. Go down about three streets and make a left. Go straight for about five streets and McDonald's will be on your right side. You can't miss it; there's a scary clown man in the window...

Inuyasha: How am I supposed to remember all of that? I'll just follow her scent!

Sota: Then why didn't you do that from the start? Never mind...

Sota shrugs and decides to continue reading his manga. It would help get his mind off of the scary clown that he thought of. Inuyasha puts on a baseball cap to cover his dog ears. He then runs to the restaurant, leaping from rooftop to rooftop across the city. Inuyasha follows Kagome's scent and makes it to McDonald's. Strange smells of fried potatoes and greasy hamburger meat fill his nose. He finds the aromas to be intoxicating. Inuyasha licks his lips and enters the establishment.

Kagome is behind the counter wearing a typical McDonald's uniform: a tucked collared shirt and matching visor with the company logo on the front. Her raven hair is in a ponytail. She hands a customer a bag of food and freezes in terror as she sees Inuyasha walking around in the store. He is taste-testing Big Macs and Double Quarter-Pounders off the trays of customers.

Kagome: INUYASHA! SIT BOY!

Inuyasha falls face-first to the floor. He groggily stands up.

Inuyasha: KAGOME! What's going on? We need you back in the--

Kagome places a hand over his mouth and drags him outside. They are now in the parking lot.

Kagome: Inuyasha, I need this job! I must go to the concert. Ayumi, Eri and Yuka all got tickets. And so did Hojo. I just have to go! You all will be fine without me, all right?

Inuyasha: FEH! You're coming back with me!

Kagome: Not now! After my shift is over!

Inuyasha and Kagome argue until an overweight middle-aged man leaves the store and places his hands on his hips. He looks upset and wears an obvious toupee. Kagome sees him and sweats nervously. The man is known as Ichiro, Kagome's manager.

Kagome: Ichiro-san! I'm sorry! I'll get right back to work!

Ichiro: You'd better, Higurashi! And who is that guy?

Inuyasha: What is that thing on your head? It looks like some sort of small animal.

Kagome's jaw drops.

Kagome: Um, forgive him, Ichiro-san!

Ichiro: He's lucky that he doesn't work here...I'd fire him so fast...

Inuyasha ignorantly says something only to contradict his new adversary.

Inuyasha: I do work here! So fire me, you bastard!

Ichiro and Kagome: You do?

Inuyasha: Damn right!

Ichiro: The night manager must have hired you...well, both of you get your butts to work! NOW!!!

Inuyasha: Aren't you going to fire me? Bring it on! My Robe of the Fire Rat will--

Ichiro: Shut up and get inside.

As they walk inside, Kagome whispers to him.

Kagome: "Fire" means to lose your job, you doofus. And don't do anything that will get us both in trouble...

Inuyasha: FEH!

Inuyasha is given a McDonald's uniform. He is positioned behind the register. Inuyasha looks at the machine and hasn't a clue of what to do with it.

Kagome: Inuyasha, just push the buttons that match what a customer wants. Tell them the total cost and put their money in the register. And give them their change. You can do math, can't you?

Inuyasha (mocking): You can do math, can't you?

Inuyasha grumbles and then gets hungry. He grabs a cheeseburger and starts to eat it. Ichiro slaps it out of his hand.

Ichiro: HEY! No eating while on the clock. And that burger is coming out of your paycheck!

Inuyasha: Whatever...

Ichiro walks away. Kagome lowers her head and bags some fries for another order. Inuyasha has been lucky so far; no customers have approached him for about ten minutes. His luck soon runs out and in grand fashion. A familiar trio enters into the store and walks directly to him.

Inuyasha: SESSHOMARU?!

It is Sesshomaru, Jaken and Rin. Sesshomaru smiles slightly at his brother's outfit. Jaken tries to hold back his laughter. Rin hums a song and looks off into space.

Sesshomaru: Fancy that...my little brother serving humans. Why am I not surprised?

Inuyasha: What are you doing here? Why aren't you in the feudal era?

Jaken: I'll handle this, Lord Sesshomaru. It is Rin's birthday today and M'lord wants her to have a good day. So, he brought her here to have fun. We did enjoy ourselves the last time we were here.*

*(see "Sesshomaru Appears on the Jerry Springer Show")

Rin: Lord Sesshomaru? Can we eat now?

Sesshomaru: Yes. Inuyasha, serve us now, you half-breed monstrosity.

Inuyasha: LIKE HELL I WILL!

Kagome runs over to Inuyasha. She whispers into his ear.

Kagome: You must or you'll be fired.

Inuyasha: So what? I don't really work here!

Sesshomaru talks over them.

Sesshomaru: Serve us...or I'll make sure that both of you are unemployed.

Inuyasha and Kagome get angry at Sesshomaru. But they cannot do anything to him.

Inuyasha: FINE! May I help you?

Sesshomaru: May I help you what?

Inuyasha (through his teeth): May I help you...sir?

Sesshomaru: Rin?

Rin: I'd like a Chicken McNugget Happy Meal with sweet and sour sauce and Sprite as a drink. Please?

Sesshomaru: Rin, never say please to a slave.

Inuyasha: I'm not a sla--ugh. What will you be having, Jock-Itch?

Jaken: IT'S JAKEN! And I don't eat human food. Give me a cup of water.

Inuyasha: And you, Sesshomaru?

Sesshomaru: This menu is so large. It's hard to decide...hmm...what to have, what to have...

Sesshomaru stares at the menu for an absurd amount of time. Inuyasha loses his patience as the customers line up behind Sesshomaru.

Inuyasha: DAMN IT! ORDER SOMETHING!

Sesshomaru: How rude. I'd like to speak with your manager.

Inuyasha: I'm the manager, damn it!

Sesshomaru: I don't believe that for a second.

Ichiro walks over.

Ichiro: You shouldn't. I'm the manager. Now what seems to be the problem?

Sesshomaru: This fool insulted me! I demand that I get my food for free.

Ichiro: Sure...I'll take it out of his paycheck.

Sesshomaru: His paycheck? In that case, I'm ready to order. I'd like everything on the menu.

Inuyasha: WHAT?!

Ichiro: All right. Kagome will call for you when it is done.

Sesshomaru smirks and walks to stand in the corner. Inuyasha yells at him.

Inuyasha: IDIOT! You don't even eat human food!

Sesshomaru: That's right...I can be so forgetful sometimes...

Sesshomaru grins. Jaken laughs and Rin runs around the store. The massive order takes a good amount of time before it is ready. Sesshomaru has Jaken drag the large bag out of the building. Rin holds her Happy Meal and waves good bye to Kagome. Kagome waves back. Sesshomaru stands in the doorway and holds it open for Rin.

Ichiro is angered again and he yells at Inuyasha.

Ichiro: You are the worst employee I've had in years! You know what, you're fired! You won't get your final paycheck either! I'll use it to pay for that woman's bill!

Sesshomaru is still in the store. He heard that last comment.

Sesshomaru: WHAT did you call me?

Ichiro: A woman...I know that you have a masculine voice, madam. But your looks are all feminine.

Sesshomaru's eyes fill with blood. He leaps over the counter and he grabs Ichiro by the throat.

Sesshomaru: FEMININE?

Kagome: Sesshomaru! Stop! Inuyasha, please help Ichiro-san!

Inuyasha: Hmph.

Sesshomaru tightens his grip.

Sesshomaru: I am NOT a woman!

With that said, Sesshomaru slams Ichiro's face into the deep fryer. Using one of the fry baskets, Sesshomaru submerges his head in the hot cooking oil. Ichiro cries in terror until he breathes his last breath. Kagome and the other employees are horrified. Sesshomaru turns to them and uses his Whip of Light. They scatter and the hot whip hits a container of cooking oil. The building catches fire. Everyone flees for survival, leaving the black smoke and raging blaze behind them.

Minutes later, Kagome and Inuyasha watch from nearby. The firefighters work to put out the flames. Inuyasha eats some of the food that he managed to save.

Kagome: My first job...and it got burned to the ground...

Inuyasha (chewing on fries): Yeah whatever...do you have any of that ketchup stuff?

THE END