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| <| Sunday October 1st, 2006 |> "Paul Bunyan says "Tree die NOW."" Special Sunday update! Actually, it's anything but special. But the missing entries will be filled in eventually. Ah the first day of October, a perfect sunny Sunday. And you gonna LOSE. You know who else is going to lose? The Bears. Not that I'm rooting against them, but this game has the makings of the "upset of the year" written all over it. The Bears are 3 or 3 1/2 point favorites, depending on your source, and the Super Bowl losing Seahawks are without their star running back Shaun Alexander. But it doesn't matter. There's always the "Shit Factor" to consider. One, it's being played on a Sunday night in front of a national audience, which traditionally the Bears don't do well with either one. Rex Grossman will be making his first ever career 4th consecutive start. Odds are, he can't have 4 great games in a row. Considering his inexperience, it's just one of those bullshit factors people like me take into consideration. Plus the Seahawks have a rather beefy record against the Bears; 3-1 in Chicago and something-something in Seattle. Facts are not a specialty and are a premium here. Also both teams are 3-0. A huge disadvantage being that one team will end up with a loss. But the Bears have a history of winning games they shouldn't and losing games they shouldn't. So I'm declaring the Seattle Seahawks the winner of this game, which will be played at 7:15pm tonight. Make no amends about it, the Seahawks will win. Bet your house, your car, all of your savings and assets, your job and your first-born for the Seahawks to win. I'm not predicting a blowout (tho it could happen) but I'm sure some stupid bullshit will end up costing the Bears this game. Something like a blocked punt, a botched field goal or passing interference or most likely.... a turnover. So you heard it here first: The Seattle Seahawks will win this game and be 4-0, and the Bears will be 3-1. The winner: Seahawks. The loser: Bears. Make no amends about it. Besides, the Bears have a 0-700 record playing at night for some odd reason. I would suspect that the Bears are used to playing football Sunday at noon under a blue sky and on grass; as it should be in football. Hell, bet your life that the Seahawks will win this game and that the Bear will lose this game. So-called "experts" of the "respectable" media are predicting the Bears will score an average between 20 to 24 points. That is really pushing your luck. You put that kind of pressure on an inexperienced quarterback, and you're just asking for the shit to be knocked out of your ass. Seahawks: all-mighty winning champion of this game. Final score: Bears: lose, Seahawks: win. |
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| 2005 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS |
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| <| Monday October 2nd, 2006 |> "i can't always get, what i want." " can't always get, what i want.Well, okay. I don't know what the hell happened, or if somebody on the Bears read my blog during the afternoon yesterday, but a 31 point Bears victory was NOT what I had in mind. Mistakes were made, bets were taken, lives were lost and bones were broken. Something was really weird about this game. Rex threw a 40 yard touchdown pass, which was caught between two heavily guarding Seahawks and was caught over the shoulder with basically 1 centimeter to spare for error. When John Madden wasn't busy having a stroke and talking about how perfect that pass was, Al Michaels was talking about how much he loves Chicago and Chicago Style Deep Dish to the "1000% degree". It is a great pizza; one of the best. But mistakes were made, and the Bears are 4-0. I see this now. |
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| <| Thursday October 5th, 2006 |> "go away, fartmakerRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrr......." "On October 1st, Dolph Rudager voiced his admiration and belief that his blog "Untitled Daily Column Project" is now another casualty of the World Wide Web and blogging community having gone to junk." Wow! I've declared my blog obsolete! I'm putting down my own blog! And now the universe has collapsed on itself. |
| <| Tuesday October 3rd, 2006 |> " i never get, what i want..." "On July 11th 2006, Kevin Matthews voiced his admiration and belief that Mancow is now another casualty of the Chicago Radio Market having gone to junk." Wow, there's a blast from the past! Before there was internet, there was radio. Chicago radio sure was something in the 1980s & 1990s. It meant something. Then slowly, duos broke up, personalities changed stations a billion times, and people died. Maybe you remember listening to Mancow Muller, or Steve & Garry with commentary from Bruce "Chet Chit Chat" Wolf, or Jonathon "I'm really broadcasting in L.A." Brandmeier (who has since has returned but ratings have dropped dramatically) or being a Kevin "Jimmy Shorts" Matthews Kevhead, in the evening with the ever pompous Chet Coppock, it really gave you something to run home from the bus and turn on the radio while incorrectly doing homework. My brain turned into a form of "crotch rot", and it has never fully recovered nor has my love for Chicago talk radio. These days I'm in my sorry state of listening to Jazz and Public Radio. But one thing is sure: Chicago radio is constantly changing. And it sure as hell isn't as good as it used to be. Perhaps we matured as listeners or our tastes changed as we got wary, or maybe it was the internet. What ruined network TV is what ruined radio: more channels a la Satellite radio. I haven't listened to Mancow (who was mentioned in a Family Guy episode where Moses lead people thru a desert of billboards) since the early 2000's, the last time I heard it, I wasn't impressed, and maybe in my up-coming all-night-early morning parties Mancow will pop up on a radio. But most likely, probably not. Garry Meier, if you're reading this, I'd like to do a radio show with you. Bring Cliffy along, too. |
| <| Wednesday October 4th, 2006 |> "Vannnnnn on the run, Vannnnn on the run!" "On September 30th, Dolph Rudager voiced his admiration and belief that Man, Mas N' Steel is the worst ? Chompyzone / Chompblog is now another casualty of the World Wide Web having gone to junk." Wow, there's a blast from the past! Before there was podcasts, there were blogs. We used to run to the internet, constantly checking our favorite blogs all during the day, and we couldn't get enough. Now since people don't have to write anymore to communicate on the internet, suddenly people forgot how to type or write. You can blame all these high-speed internet companies with their affordable rates. There ain't no 'puppy love' in this blog! And KILL PANDA, too! That was also one of the names considered for this blog. That, and "Raul hits Wife". |
| <| Saturday October 7th, 2006 |> "American van....we're an American van...we're comin to your town, we'll help you move around, we're an American van!" Yesterday was outing # 4 with the new bowling shoes. Suffice to say, they were a great investment. Before bowling there was lunch. Apparently lunch was going to be destiny and a place I've been to before. It ended up being some New York style deli. It felt weird being asked my name for my order, and the place moved very fast, but I guess it was better than being called a number, which of course leads to people spending endless seconds looking for the number on their receipt, if they still even have it or even picked it up. I had some parmesan roasted chicken soup. It basically was like spaghetti sauce with chicken in it. But it was hearty, very hot and it filled me up. For bowling, I changed my bowling technique, I squared my shoulders, end up changing my starting feet placement to flush, and tried releasing the ball a little bit earlier. The results were 113, 125 and 107, for a 115 average, which is about right for me. Unofficially I'm roughly a 116-120 bowler. Also picking up the spares greatly improved, going to around 50% to my prior 18%, but strikes were down. I usually get 2 to 4 strikes per game, now I was barely getting one or none at all. So the trade off was strikes for spares, with technically the same results. Tho my game is still really awful and the old farts who are 100 years old can still out-bowl my ass, there's only improvement from here on out. And I still can't seem to get a consistent bowl each time, due to it's just so damn hard. Timothy Bohus bowled with me, throwing a 99, 156 and a 117, good for a 124 average. The 156 game was bizarre in a sense. 4 of Timothy's last 5 rolls went for strikes, including a turkey in the 10th frame, and only missed 5 pins in the entire game. And the ones missed, were of course unpicked up spares. As for our 3rd game with 107 and 124, we had some really bizarre splits; it seemed like we hit pins but they didn't move, and the balls had a weird reaction to the lane. This is how bad things have gotten for the Yankees who are down 2-1 in the ALDS: A-Rod dropped to eighth in Yanks' lineup. Ouch! And he's an MVP candidate, too! The Yankees are full of chokers, and rumor has it Steinbrenner is going to ship A-Rod out of town if the Yankees lose this series. I hope he stays the hell out of Chicago. |
| <| Friday October 6th, 2006 |> "goin' away, troublemakerRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrr......." Nacho cheese journal update #1. October 4th, 2006. Made first attempt at making nacho cheese today. Used two slices of del-style american cheese, broken up into small squares, and a tablespoon of milk in a 1/2 metal cup w/ handle, cooked on a small burner on low heat. A little dash of chili powder and crushed red pepper was added. Smooth creamy texture; could use more spice next time. Next time perhaps add a little more milk; tended to gum up seconds after heat removal. Also include spatula to dig out remaining cheese in cup. Results: poured on tortilla chips, mircowaved for 15 second, extremely tasty / cheese did not dry out. |
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| <| Thursday October 12th, 2006 |> "Listen to the Dancing Poon, part II.mp3" Social commentary by Dolph Rudager The comic strip Dickless Tracy turned 75 years old last week. The original creator passed away in 1985, but over the years various cartoonists have drawn the strip. What do you feel when you hear "Dickless Tracy" ? I feel nausea from an overly hyped Dickless Tracy movie in the late 1980s; a movie nobody asked if it was wanted to be made and featured that horrible slut Madonna. I feel contempt when I think of its daily 3-panel newspaper strip in black and white, with its square-chinned lead character, how the first panel is always a repeat of the previous day's last panel, and how the Sunday strip is merely a complete recap of the daily strips from the previous week. I feel confusion, because the strip is neither interesting nor funny; which is precisely what the legend of the strip apparently claims. I feel regret, for permanently losing those 6 seconds of my life. The thing is, with Dickless Tracy, it doesn't make any sense. As you can tell, it is drawn by a senile old man. Chester F. Smith briefly co-wrote & drew for the strip over the years, but he was inexplicably fired for "not being senile enough". Apparently Chester put too much logic and sense into the strip, which readily angered the head cartoonist. Tho Dickless Tracy symbolizes the overall crapiness of comics today. Hagar the Horrible seems like it was drawn 70 years ago and the strips seem to continue to be rotated and we seem to be "re-introduced" to the strip every 10 years. Cathy still dresses like it's the late 70s in a sweatpants outfit and still shops ALL the fucking time. Fox Trot seems to take the same basic 5 plots and rehashes them over and over and over and over and over and over. Doonesbury still deals with two plots: college and politics. It seems the Boondocks have been MIA for a year. For Better Or For Worse, is still providing typical lame family drama that moves at a snail-like pace, and the strip seems reminiscent of an LSD trip, which seems to mix real backgrounds & images with imaginary characters ("April" is NOT real!) There is no band, she doesn't use the internet, she has no fat & short "slow" girlfriend nor some snotty brat who's a Canadian singing sensation, and in real life, the children do not age twice as fast as the parents! But two particular strips that suck, is Dog Eat Doug (based on a stupid baby and the dialog of a misbehaving dog that certainly needs a few beatings with a rolled up newspaper. Bad dog!) and especially The Humble Stumble, starring forced-single dad "Joe" and his little daughter "Molly" or "Polly" or "Holly" (people, don't name your kids with "olly" in them, it sounds lame!). But I especially can't stand this strip. It's so god damn lame. Each day, I torment myself reading this strip, seeing if it ever tops its all-time lameness, and everyday, it never disappoints me because it does. I literally say out loud, "why in the HELL do they print this crap??!" It's just god awful. It's like, one of those horrible ideas, where you try to make a cartoon as cutesy and ungodly lame as possible but you shouldn't ever actually draw it, but you do anyway. The strip mostly centers around "Joe", a single dad who works at home on a computer, and lisps & skips through life, completely oblivious to why everyone can't stand him, this including family members, people in the outside world, and the women he dates. Probably the most irritating thing about this strip, is nobody is EVER in sync. It is really difficult to read & follow a strip when everybody seems to be living in their own worlds on different wavelengths. This is really bad for a comic strip. But "Joe" is especially awful. He makes cute little puppies look like Charles Manson. But, hey "Joe", your wife left you! You know why??? Cause you SUCK. S - U - C - K. You god damn suck! "Joe", no wonder your wife divorced you!! You're a lame sack of shit! And your stupid hippie brother who's trapped in the 1960s, is also is lame as hell. "Joe", no wonder your daughter can't stand you! It's 'cause you're lame and you SUCK. Only a complete ditzy girlyman would get excited about "fluffy pillows and soft bed sheets and cool glasses of water near the bed". I really don't want to speculate, but I'm guessing the creator of this strip has some serious mental illnesses, and lots of them. |
| <| Wednesday October 11th, 2006 |> " 'your [adult] child is gonna fuuuuuuuck......' by Led Zeppelin" Today was a wet, windy, warm & cold day. High temps around 55, but then a cold front out west came in, to bring nighttime temps down to 28 degrees with strong winds of 35+mph. But guess what! The Rolling Stones are in town! And tonight, they have a scheduled outdoor concert at Soldier Field! This weather is rather unusual for this time of the year, and probably will be the coldest rock concert ever. The ideal thing to do, would be for the fans to sit in the luxury suites instead of out on the field. Tho if that wasn't possible, the 'Stones would suggest starting bonfire, which of course would then to proceed to burn down the spaceship known as Soldier Field. Mick Jagger: **shouting on stage** "'ey! It's bloody 'ell cold out 'ere! Can we come inside and perform in there?" Fan inside luxury suite: "Sorry. Not enough room for the stage." Mick Jagger: "Well can we at least get a fuckin' bloody coffee machine down 'ere??!" Fan inside luxury suite: "Can't. We're using it to make hot chocolate." Keith Richards: "I can't feel me fuckin' fingers!!! I can't do any of the solos!!" Mick Jagger: **jumping up and down** "I'm so cooooooold!!!" Fan inside luxury suite: "Yeah why don't you write a song about it?!?" Charlie Watts: "I can't feel me extremities!" Keith Richards: "We're gonna die out 'ere!!" Mick Jagger: "The cold is going to kill the Rolling Stones." |
| <| Tuesday October 10th, 2006 |> " "just like a stoner." " Social Commentary by Dolph Rudager If anybody noticed, and unless you have a local sportscaster on the news who's an avid hockey fan, the NHL season is underway. The Chicago Blackhawks are now 1-1. Now the way this playoff system works, and due to nature of the history of the game, if you don't start off with 2 wins before 2 losses, you will not make the playoffs. Thanks to rule changes, the 'Hawks scored 12 goals, but gave up 11 in only two games. I went to an L.A. Kings / Hawks game where the final score was 12-8. It was rather quite boring. It wasn't a matter of "if", but "when", and that takes a lot of the thrill out of hockey. The NHL is now going thru its MLB-style Post-Strike-High-Scoring-era-Aided-By-Steroids. Plus the sport is in dire need of its next Wayne Gretzky, and these rule changes should end up challenging his records. |
| <| Monday October 9th, 2006 |> "did you sing the traditional song of 'It's My Birthday Party and I'll Fuck if I Want'?" Social Commentary by Dolph Rudager Yesterday the Chicago Bears delivered an absolute pounding of the wimpy Dick Jauron-led Buffalo Bills at Solider Field. Suffice to say, the Bears easily covered the 8 1/2 point spread, pounding the Bills to a 40-7 victory. The Bears, have scored the most points in the NFL with 156 points in 5 games, and given up the fewest points in the NFL with only 36 points against. And with Peyton "I'm big and dumb 'n do advertising" Manning almost losing to an awful Tennessee Titans team lead by a rookie, the Colts are no longer the # 1 team in the NFL. It's the Bears. When was the last time you saw that? This team is already drawing comparisons to the '85 Bears, who just destroyed almost everyone that year. People are talking Super Bowl in Chicago. With an apparent weak NFC, it's entirely possible, tho I probably just jinxed it, since I'm probably the only person on the internet that's not a paid writer to mention the possibility. Undefeated? Not likely. Some asshole scheduled 3 consecutive road games in East Rutherford & Foxboro. Playoff bound? Almost definitely. The only thing that can stop this team is injuries. The Bears are a powerhouse, the Packers & Lions are a combined 1-9, and it feels like 1985 all over again. |
| <| Sunday October 8th, 2006 |> "haven't you heard? Erections are out." Nacho cheese journal entry #2. October 5th, 2006 I guess you can use too much milk in such a small quantity. Was way too runny but used the right spices again. Next time only put about a teaspoon's worth of milk into the cup. |
| <| Friday October 13th, 2006 |> "all I wanna do.... is break some shit..." Look at me, I'm like Garry Trudeau! Like takin' a 3-month unannounced absence from my job! Suffice to say, this blog is burnt out and I have decided to stop writing. I don't know when this blog will be returning, but it will soon and it will have fresh new material. New material was not available at presstime, please enjoy this old blog month from January 2005. http://www.geocities.com/mp34chw/zJanuary_2005.html |
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