Sterling: So you did do something? You got new glasses.
Jeremy: No. They were given to me.
That's an Oscar-winning shot. A headless corpse spurting blood from BOTH ends. -Andrew, about Sterling's gay porn Samurai movie
I'm about to slap you with my scrotum. -Tim Frye
Andrew: Have you ever stuck a hot fry up your anus?
Tim Frye: Well, I AM hot. And I'm a Frye.
Tim Frye:Your anus is a sensitive little critter. It's moody, really.
Andrew: That's why a hot Frye is dangerous.
If alcohol didn't work as a lubricant, but you tried it anyway, with all that friction, you'd have a flaming baton for a cock. -Andrew
You won by cheating! -Tim Frye, to Jessica, about their seatbelt race
Damn, I have a nice ass. -Tim Frye
I am French, and I have slept with your mother. -Andrew
What is it with Sterling and "like a child?" -Molly
Hey! I have a fun-filled tape of fun. -Jessica
So I think my body is just saying, "More carbohydrates, motherfucker." -Tim Frye
Andrew: Because there's no synonym for cockface.
Sterling: Cockmaster. But that indicates mastery of the cock.
Sterling, Andrew and Tim Frye: Whereas cockface could mean that you've got a face that looks like a cock, or you've got a scar on your face from a cockslap...
Tim Frye: Because let's face it, Sterling loves the smell of ass.
Sterling: True!
No. He's sitting on the toilet.He'll have to call you back. -Tim Frye's tactful message-taking skill
It ain't cheatin' if you've got amnesia. -Andrew
You trying to get an assful of spring? -Steve
Hey! That'll get pomeade out of your hair. -Tim Frye, about scissors
You've never had purple cavern sex? You're missing out. It's part of the college experience. -Andrew
Andrew: it's like musical chairs, and whichever one I impregnate wins.
James: What does she win?
Andrew: A baby. And a kick to the curb.
Andrew needs the King of Beers because he's the King of Queers. -Tim Frye
Andrew's future sons' names:William, Will, Billy, Bill, Willie, Willy
Tim Frye: And Zanzibar. Just to mix things up.
Andrew: Shut up, Tim. You don't know how to name kids.
Zanzibar Gates. That's almost as good as Zanzibar Johnson. -Andrew
Andrew: Zanzibar Amadeus Mozart, that way his initials could be ZAZ.
Tim: Uh, don't you mean ZAM?
You have to fuck her full of self-esteem. Because sperm is full of esteem. It's been scientifically proven. -Andrew
Nerd Bowl has taught you all about vaginas! -Tim Frye