Mark Trenton has allegedly killed eight people and injured another thirty two. He does this by hiring hookers to walk near carefully selected intersections in skimpy shorts and tight tops. Since there is no law against walking around in tight clothes, there is nothing the police or the law can do.
It was not until fatality number four that investigators suspected a pattern. One investigator, Rodd Orman, said that at least five percent of all car accidents in general are suspected to be related to such "roadside distractions," but this is the first time that somebody has been doing it purposely and consistently.
"The District Attorney is working overtime trying to figure out how to prosecute this guy," Orman said. "Every time we think we have something, the Civil Liberties Union says, 'uh uh, you can't do that.' We have not been able to show intent and we of course have no illegal use of a weapon."
At first the police started telling the public to ignore the hookers when driving, but the attention actually increased when the story hit the news, and so did the accidents.
The only hope seems to be to pass new laws that don't violate the First Amendment. Orman is not to optimistic about that, however. "Mark is no dummy; rumor has it that he is starting to have the hookers wear political slogans so that he is protected by the First Amendment. He may not be as technically gifted as the Unibomber, but he certainly kills in more creative ways."
"A political hooker that kills and can't be stopped by
the police. The wild wild west is still alive but drivers
aren't!", read a local tabloid.
