| "in my lifetime, when i'm disgraced by jealousy and lies: i'll laugh aloud because my life has gotten inside someone else's mind" - bullets ~ CREED |
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| I think people tend to forget that trees are living creatures. They're sort of like dogs. Huge, quiet, motionless dogs, with bark instead of fur. |
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| "its just a job. grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. i just beat people up." - muhammed ali |
| my new website is www.morg13.blogspot.com this page will stay up but will not have any more updates. friday, june 13 - 12:56 the answer to the 'green with wheels' joke is... grass, i just lied about the wheels. hey, i said it was stupid. i really dont want to work tonight, but i have to so complaining about it wont do much good now, will it? ive been trying to watch that movie punch-drunk love with adam sandler but its just not working out so well, i cant get into it...so the other day i ran into this guy, adam, who i know from school. i hadnt seen him in ages (only like, 3 months) so that was pretty awesome. hes a really cool guy...he wasnt in any of my classes or anything but my friend knew him pretty well so thats how we met. anyways, i had this nasty wipeout while snowboarding a couple years ago and i just couldnt manage to get up and going again but adam saw me up on silver star and took me down some runs, kinda talked me through 'em, and now im better than i was (still not very good though). so it was exciting to see him again. we got some frozen yogurt, went to musicworld, had a few laughs...good times, good times... tuesday, june 10 - 23:52 here's a really stupid joke that i heard today: what's green and has wheels? (i'll give the answer in a couple days, feel free to post your guesses in the guestbook). another one: what does snoop-dogg use to wash his clothes? answer = blee-atch i realize that both of these jokes are incredibly bad and that is actually why i had to share them with you. i heard them from this guy in a band called 'your last sunrise'. they're good at playing their guitars and singing 'n stuff but they dont write any of their own stuff so the whole time they were just playing juliana theory, taking back sunday, jimmy eat world, and stuff like that. kinda unfortunate for them, i thought. its insane how some people's minds work. and their moods just run hot and cold like nothin' else. example, one day 'buddy' was pissed off for whatever reason but would not admit to it and refused to explain. next day, same 'buddy' acts like everything's peachy and denies all from day before. craziness i tell you, CRAZY! "we got a j-iz-ack in the b-e-ox" sunday, june 8 - 18:20 ok, so today was great!"why, what made it so great?" is probably the question popping into your head right now and so i will tell you. today was great because i went scootering today. lydia and i rented scooters from sport tech and just cruised around town for an hour. it was so awesome! if you ever get the chance to ride a scooter, i say take it. they're so fun and they go like, 60 km. so they're not super slow. obviously they're not like a motorbike or something but they're good enough for town driving and its just so great. i cant wait to go again. i actually want to buy a scooter for myself but i think it would maybe be a poor investment just because i would only be able to use it for half the year. ah well, i'll just have to settle for renting every now and then. so anaheim won last night, woo hoo. i was so pumped for that! and new jersey lost...HAHA (just rubbing it in for all you NJ fans). i wish it wasnt so hot outside, then i could atleast open the window. as it is right now, if you open the window it just blows hot air in and then what would be the point? friday, june 6 - 17:57 How far would I go If I had to forget all I know How long would I ride If I got tired of hiding how I feel the waning hours of night kept me up into the waking hours of morning today/lastnight. its crazy how the more i want to sleep the more im unable to. the dashboard show is slowly approaching and im so anxious for it...you cant even understand. i always assign meaning to songs and then half of them end up being ruined for me because of it. its not something that i mean to do, its just that if i have something going on in my life at a particular time when i listen to a certain song lots then the song reminds me of that time in my life and all the stuff that was happening at the time. its usually not too big a deal and ends up ok but occasionally this will make me not want to ever hear a song again. i used to hate listening to the song, Tomorrow is Another Day by MXPX but something happened (i dont recall what) and now im ok listening to that song again. but there are others that i just cant listen to. i know it sounds crazy because its just music but its just something where the song begins to remind me of certain people or events. anyways, enough of that craziness. i want to talk about what im doing on sunday so badly but i wont because then what will i write about on sunday, huh? tell me?! ok, so we'll just have to stick it out for two more days. oh, and about the joke...so far only one guy (ryan, at work) actually figured it out by himself, not to be sexist against you boys but COME ON! oh well, its just a joke right? right. How deep would I climb To bury the truth I find How small I've become In this burned out blazing sun I'm broke and blue wednesday, june 4 - 23:14 Q: how do you put an elephant into a safeway shopping cart? i dont know A: you take the 's' out of safe and from way you take out the 'f' dom told me that joke and she said that most guys do not figure it out but girls usually do. if you get it, let me know and ill see if the statistics are true. tuesday, june 3 - 18:36 what a magnifique day! wow, it's just been so beautiful all day! i officially hate u of a, although i still want to go there. they take the longest to let you know if they've accepted you or not so you dont have time to prepare for it. oh well, i guess if i dont end up getting accepted its another year in the 'depths of despair', also known as vernon OUC. so there's only fifteen days left until the dashboard confessional concert, im so pumped...but im really sad that i cant go to warped tour again this year, ive never been because i was going to go in 2001 but i was on CREW that summer and then i was going to go last year but i was in the states when it was on and now im gonna be with CREW again this year. and i never would've even thought of it if it hadnt been for all you meanies rubbing in that you can go! bwah! oh well, ill just have to wait until next year (when i am for sure, absolutely going without a doubt so if anybody wants to go with, just let me know). going to the drive-in tonight...gonna see in-laws and matrix reloaded all for only five dollah! woo hoo! monday, june 2 - 18:41 This is me with the words on the tip of my tongue And my eye through the scope down the barrel of a gun (gun,gun) Remind me not to ever act this way again This is you trying hard to make sure that you're seen With a girl on your arm and your heart on your sleeve Remind me not to ever think of you again i love my theo! i just thought you ought to know. im confused, orion mentioned a swear word and so ive been searching for it (profanity on my site?! it's ludicrous!) anywho, the best i could come up with is that one in the poem a couple entrys down and if that's the one orion (?) then i apologize for that. umm, regan wondered what the song on friday is..."You're So Last Summer" by Taking Back Sunday. not exactly you're type ragu but you might like it. i did something fun to my hair today, im not sure if i like it yet :s but hopefully it'll grow on me (ha). i have this massive bruise on my inner wrist running right down the middle, its about 10cm long, and i have no idea where it came from! so weird! Literate and stylish (literate and stylish) Kissable and quiet (kissable and quiet) Well that's what girls dreams are made of And that's all you need to know (and that�s all you need to know) You have it or you don't (you have it or you) You have it or you (don't) friday, may 30 - 19:32 She said "don't, don't let it go to your head Boys like you are a dime a dozen, Boys like you are a dime a dozen" She said "you're a touch overrated, you're a lush and I hate it but these grass stains on my knees they won't mean a thing" who wants to hear stories of woe? nobody, that's who! noone's gonna miss an agonizing whine. its all presentation...its all in effect. so guys, i have to say it. i'm not feelin' the love! where's the patronizing comments, the unfeeling praise? i miss hearing from you all. i wonder if this is what it feels like when you're the last one left, after you've crossed all your friends out of the phonebook after seeing them in the obits. bwah...how depressing! on a lighter note, i love you!!! (all but one...) upon rereading this, ive noticed that much of what ive written in here is quite boring, especially for some who dont completely understand the intentions but oh well! boredom is what makes the world go 'round...err somethin'. right. 'kay, i suck! wednesday, may 28 - 2:32 i like writing. it helps me clear my head and put my feelings into words. it forces me to accept and understand things better. how would i do it if you asked me to try the pressure consumes me hate it...love it almost over wish it could never end want me to forget impossible beg me to indulge incredible i cant stand it. your voice ringing the fucking phone goes off once. twice. three times...beep 'leave a message' what do you want from me let it go. dwelling reverses your life. ...and then i give in to you falling to your desire my will is broke. you take me as yours ask me to try but how... tuesday, may 27 - 22:43 ive decided to let you all in on a little secret about me. are you ready for it? k, here goes...my most embarassing moment (actually, not even that embarrassing but the only one ive had..except for that time at wal-mart with dom, hmm....) so here it is *drumroll*: it begins, chillin' at lydia's place (clayton's house) we decided that we needed to add some excitement to our evening and that's when we noticed THE DOOR! on the back of lydia's bedroom door was posted many photographs of some choice good-looking locals, all the way from penticton to vernon. so somebody said, "i'd like to ...blah blah blah" (something boring that they wanted to do) and i said, "i'd like to make-out with that door!" we all had a good laugh about it and then for some stupid reason i decided that i needed to demonstrate so i lined myself up and took a run at it, failing to realize that there is no doorknob and therefore no way of keeping the door closed...so the door swung open right in the middle of clay's band practicing in the next room. they all kinda looked over and then continued playing while i nearly fell flat on my face before somehow managing to catch myself. it wasnt really embarrassing outwardly because the boys had no idea what happened exactly so they could easily have thought im just clumsy (which is, by the way, also true) but inwardly, because i knew what really happened, it was slightly embarassing. and that's the tale i have to tell to you (yea lyle, woowoo!) i'd love to hear anybody else's embarrassing times (to make me feel better! haha) or any comments you might have about mine (and how stupid i am to fall through a door....) monday, may 26 - 20:39 so i decided to revamp my website because the pink was getting really annoying! how do y'all like it? i am so super pumped for the dashboard show you cant even understand!!!! so, apparently scots are angry little ruffians... who knew?! i got a raise at work today! woo woo. that's pretty exciting stuff by me, i have to say. last night i watched the video Sleepers with Brad Pitt, that Crudup dude, Brad Renfro, and others. it was pretty good but it inflicted stomach pains every so often, those who have seen it can probably understand why it would make me feel sick. for those who havent seen it, i dont intend to spoil it for you. you'll never guess what song i have had going through my head all day, so i will tell you....it goes a little something like this... i just wanna be a sheep BAA BAA BAA BAA i just wanna be a sheep BAA BAA BAA BAA i pray the lord my soul to keep i just wanna be a sheep BAA BAA BAA BAA and i remember the first time i heard that song a bunch of people had made up some other crazy verses for it, but sadly i dont remember how any of them went (so if any of you fabbies were there and know some of the unofficial verses to this song post them in the guestbook!) friday, may 23 - 12:24 well, ive been putting off writing in here for the past few days because i didnt really have anything good to say...i feel like i probably would have just been a big downer to the party! but ive now decided that i am going to be fine so i'll write some happy stuff in here. first off, im going to the dashboard concert in vanc. next month! SO PUMPED! and umm, actually thats about all the exciting news i have. i finally got to go to ikea last weekend, it was so awesome. woo hoo ikea! i only bought a couple frames and a garbage can but they're still very cool. wednesday, may 14 - 23:36 im going to vancouver tomorrow! yay! the most exciting part though...im driving down by myself in a car that ive never driven before. its gonna rock so much! so ive got my cds all picked out for the trip and im going to grab one of those fabulous sandwiches from baker's dozen before i leave town, for lunch...im all set! woo hoo! road-trippin' by myself...it doesn't get much cooler than that, eh? monday, may 12 - 19:59 something funny that i discovered about myself today: i have a constant 'soundtrack' playing through my head all of the time. i never really noticed it too much until tonight at guitar...i was trying to play Peaches by the Presidents... but it kept coming out sounding like a messed up Wonderwall because that's the song that was playing in my head. and like now, i've got Gangsta's paradise by Coolio playing through, except i only know the first part of it so its kinda really repetitive. i'm sure that probably lots of people have this but ive just realized that i cant really control it always. weird! sunday, may 11 - 22:42 the endless rantings bear greater fruit than the opposible misdemeanor what an awesome day! the sun was shining for most of the day, and when it wasn't it was raining (which is so much better than sun, any day of the week). i've been trying very hard to be inspirational or thought-provoking with this 'journal' but i don't think that its working. i know that so many of you read this near-daily but i get no feedback from anybody (except kim, the hardcore! YAY KIM!) id really love to hear your thoughts, ideas, or opinions on the stuff i write here. so, here's the "assignment" for today. i read the yellow quote earlier today and i thought to myself how easy it would be to do that, write 'inspirational' quotes because you just put together a bunch of random words and as long as they dont make any sense at all, you're good to go. so back to the assignment...what exactly does this quote mean? it really just seems incredibly random to me. saturday, may 10 - 22:30 it's been nearly a week since i last wrote in here...i'm really slacking off lately. i'm anxiously awaiting my response from u of a and very impatiently as well. i can't handle this 'decision pending' crap that they dish out. there's actually been a lot of stuff that i 'can't handle' lately but i'm not going to embellish on all that right now. as most of you know, i'm going away for CREW ministries again this summer so i'll be gone for july and august...i didn't really think it over much before deciding to do it and i'm now almost regretting my decision, so any support and/or guidance is really appreciated right about now...it's a really unfortunate feeling, regret. which is why i try to never let an opportunity pass me by, otherwise i know for a fact that i'll always be wondering "what if...?" so, last night me and dom were just chillaxin' and what not and the time just started to fly by and before i knew it it was .... umm, well it was really late (or early) and i had to work this morning at eight. so, i hear my cell at 8:05 and its my sister telling me that work just called because i'm late...needless to say, i was half an hour late for work today and the rest of the day just went downhill from there. but life goes on. and i've been having really late nights for the last like, month...well actually since school let out and now its finally catching up with me. i'm completely exhausted, mentally and physically....actually, so much so that i'm going to go to bed right now.... YAWN! monday, may 5 - 20:48 man, i really haven't written much in here lately. i guess i've just not had much to say. i cant stand those people who are so insecure...like those girls who dont let their boyfriends even talk to another girl because they're jealous or something. that's so stupid because if your boyfriend doesn't like you enough to assure you that he's not going to try and hook up with some random chick then you shouldn't be with him anyways, i mean come on! and when they're so desperate to hang on to their guy that they start trying to 'scare' people off...that's just stupid. frick! i hate it! and i also hate man-whores...you know who you are. so i finally sent my transcripts into u of a. it costs like, $10 to do that which is so retarded because it's just a stupid piece of paper. i really hope i can go there, i need to get out of this hole. don't get me wrong, i love the people here and the lakes and the weather...i just need a change of scenery. friday, may 2 - 15:43 rodney mullen is my hero! thursday, may 1 - 02:28 what is it with people who think that avoiding something will make it go away? or ignoring somebody will somehow suffice as an answer? i just don't understand how some peoples minds work. things don't happen unless you make them happen. you can't just pretend that something never happened and hope that it'll somehow disappear, life just doesn't work like that. man...it drives me crazy that some people actually believe that things could be that easy. "personal mastery teaches us to choose. choosing is a courageous act of picking the results and actions which you will make into your destiny" ~ Peter Senge whenever i see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. but then i think, what if i was an ant and she fell on me. then it wouldn't seem quite so funny tuesday, april 29 - 18:27 so, i have to start giving out some major credit here...all of my brilliant crafty ideas for this page have basically all come from brendan, so thank you brendan, and also sorry for being so brutal in copying you so closely. i've added another guest book type thing for you guys to submit a story, thought, poem or anything else you'd like to say...so, you just have to click on the blue sprite on the left to do that. sunday, april 27 - 01:35 today, or i guess yesterday now, when i was walking my pooch over on cunliffe i was shocked into a double-take. this older fellow (not really old but maybe 45-50ish) rode past me on his bicycle. the reason i had to take a second look was because this man so resembled this kid, tyler, that it was uncanny. i'm pretty sure that tyler is going to look exactly like this guy when he finally grows up. and then there's the crazyness of kent molgat (from the local news) and brad, who i work with...they're like, identical already and brad's only 17. crazy. so anyways, this whole experience got me thinking today, while i was working for seven hours with no visitors...what kind of friends are you?!, it got me thinking that there's probably an adult look-alike for every person in the world, which is pretty crazy to think about since there's already supposed to be a twin for everybody....imagine the confusion if you get all those people together in one room....CRAZY! saturday, april 26 - 15:40 sleepless nights are good nightless nights would be better the dreams seep in unannounced im unprepared for the overflow like a volcano, the lava my emotion the pounding in my ears comes from the racing in my chest im sitting breathless so real the sight of you the smell of you the sound of you all so real i cant open my eyes wont open them you fade away a tear falls to my hand, one tear one salted drop for every time the tiredness of my body exceeds the stubborness of my soul, reigning victorious, jumping to gate to let you in friday, april 25 - 21:17 you know that feeling you get when you're around somebody that you really care about that's like, good and bad both at the same time? it's like, an aching but a good aching....maybe. anyways, i keep getting that feeling today. its so unfortunate. i hate it. you let your pride stand tall it danced within your words right before your fall why don't you say that to my face everything you every time you every word you say if i told you this was killing me would you stop? 12:28 the mystery has been solved, YAY! after probably three years of searching and questioning i finally know who the "monkey" in the picture is, brendan berg. and just to set the record straight, sorry kim but brendan was my source of inspiration for this...although you inspire me sometimes too. how much do i love the rain?! it's absolutely the greatest. i love walking in the rain and sitting in the rain...but i especially love falling asleep to the sound of the rain outside my window, ahh...oh, and the smell too, gotta love that smell. and it always inspires (i'm on an 'inspirational kick' right now) some of the best dreams i've ever had. like just last night i had an absolutely amazing dream, problem is i can only remember little clips of it... i hate when that happens, and then when i have a really crummy dream that nobody cares about anyways...i remember every little detail of it. thursday, april 24 - 23:58 my friends are the best! sometimes i'll feel totally alone, like there's nobody i can talk to but when it really matters they're always there for me, giving me the best advice and comfort ever (even if that advice works out badly for them). i love that so much! so i haven't listened to my dashboard cd for the longest time because i've been on a 'weezer binge' for the last like, month. so anyways, i listened to it today. it's the best slow-down music i know. like if i'm feeling really stressed or have just been busy lately, i'll hop in my truck with some dashboard and just drive around...it totally relaxes me and it also really gets me thinking about important stuff that i don't take enough time to think about. it's super awesome. 13:48 i feel degraded. all broken down into little pieces that are spread out for everybody to see. like my soul is on display, in a trophy case or something. the only thing is that not everybody can see...it's as though a certain few have been chosen (i don't know by who) and they can just take any little thing about me and spread it around, like the jam on my bagel this morning, they can pick me apart and find out just the wrong things to say and do. i hate telephones! i wish that there was a law against phoning people at 6:30 in the morning. i mean, what kind of a person gets up and thinks "hmm, 6:30...i think i'll phone (your name here) ." and then when you answer all groggy-like they seem all confused and they're like, "oh, i'm sorry...did i wake you up?" of course you woke me up! it's 6:30 in the morning! and then there's the people who phone and leave messages like they're on crack or something, like it's supposed to be a joke. the only thing is that they don't leave their names so you don't know who's joke it is anyways and it's just some stupid, nameless message that doesn't even have a chance of being appreciated. tuesday, april 22 - 23:42 CANUCKS WON! woo hoo. now that my little celebration is over... i've been dreading the heat since the first snowfall (but that was also when i was still boycotting the cold, wearing flip-flops in the snow) but now that it's come i'm really enjoying it. i love being able to go outside without a jacket, and taking my dogs for walks. the best place to walk a dog is probably Kal park but my little porker, bailey, can't handle all the excitement of being around other dogs so the next best thing is the community right before kal park. it's got perfect sized hills that don't tucker 'em out right away, but they are definately tired after the walk, and it's a nice neighbourhood with minimal traffic. isn't it funny how once a person has made up their mind about something, everything else is irrelevant? there is no way around it, no change can prevail. 18:41 this is the first official entry of my 'online journal'. i was inspired to create this page by a friend who also has one. i've decided that this will be so much easier than writing seperate e-mails to everybody, so now you can all just check out the happenings of my life by visiting this page. isn't that exciting! right. so anyways, i'm currently learning the song Lake of Fire by Nirvana on my guitar. it's super awesome. i'm not very good on my guitar yet but i can play a few songs... my guitar's name is Theo! my teacher, Dan is seriously the best ever! he's so awesome, and we totally agree on music and everything! so, the worst thing is when somebody makes a statement that they know you're going to ask them to embellish on and then they refuse to say anything more about it. and really, why would somebody want to just say that one thing without actually wanting to tell the rest, it's like the more you want to hear, the less they want to tell. this happened to me yesterday and it's been driving me crazy ever since. the absolute worst part of the whole thing is i don't want to let them know that i really care so i can't even ask more questions! my step-sister Holly is down in vancouver right now. she's waiting on a street corner for her audition to Canadian Idol. she's such an incredibly talented singer that i'm sure she'll do awesome but i can't help being nervous for her. i'm especially nervous now since i found out that there are approximately two-thousand 'wannabes' down there and only 12 will be chosen to carry on. yikes! well, GOOD LUCK Hol! we're all rootin' for you! |
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| morgan (pro-star by association) |
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| thisisabigemptyspacethatwontgoawaysoitwillinsteadbefilledwithpointlesswords |
