The Angels will be there
at life's journey end,
to guide us home to our Creator.
In 1994, a very close friend,
gave me a book "Embraced by the Light" by Betty
Eadie. It was her story of a near-death experience and what she saw
and remembered. Although some do not believe in NDE's, her story does offer
hope and comfort. My father was diagnosed with cancer after I had read
the book. He was in fear of dying and he had many regrets. I gave the book
to my mother who found it confirmed what she knew all along. I also read
"Saved by the Light" by Dannion Brinkley and found it very profound. He
talked about life reviews and how we are own worse judges. When I thought
about it, I knew how true that statement was. How many of us are guilty
of being very self-critical? We look at a picture of ourselves and criticize
it when others may like it. We do the same with many things we do. In 1995,
my father's cancer had spread and he was now terminal. It hurt me to see
how much pain he was in and not from the cancer but from his own doing.
He was so afraid of dying and was afraid to discuss it. After his lung
was removed, he told me he saw his mother. He was afraid to tell others
about it as they would dismiss it or just tell him it was from the medication
he was on. He said his mother was trying to tell him something but
he was afraid to listen. I told him if he saw her again, he should try
to listen to what she has to say. I sincerely believe the spirits of our
loved ones do appear to us bringing us messages in our dreams when our
sub-conscious is more open to them. He then started asking more questions
about "death". He wanted to talk about his regrets in life as these bothered
him the most. If you have a friend or loved one who is dying, let them
discuss their fears. They need to discuss them and want to discuss them.
Don't push them, but when they are ready, let them. This is the best gift
you can give them. Be there to listen and comfort them. I let my father
discuss all his regrets, his mistakes, and to help forgive himself and
others. When he was done with his life review he felt more at peace with
himself. Then just when my family and I were dealing with the cancer
taking it's toll on him, another blow was struck. My mother was diagnosed
with terminal cancer! We were in total disbelief. She had always gone for
yearly checkups and just a few months before had gone for x-rays of her
ribs and nothing showed then. But she was diagnosed with kidney cancer
that had spread to her lungs and bones. So now instead of preparing to
lose our father, we now had to prepare to lose both of them. I found that
cancer not only effects the ones who have it, but it effects the whole
family. How each person deals with it will effect the outcome of the ones
left behind. Unlike my father, my mother was not afraid to die. She did
regret leaving us and wanted to be here. She just had a grandson born and
my youngest sister was expecting her 1st child. My mother wanted to be
here for that. She did feel bad about not being able to return to work
and leaving all of us kids behind (there are 5 of us). But she became the
strength for all of us. She openly discussed her impending death and what
she wanted.
Somehow, people who are dying
seem to know when the time is near. My father had been in the hospital
and we were all taking turns staying with him. I had just relieved my sister
so she could go home and sleep. My father was quite chatty that night and
didn't want to sleep. He discussed our business we had together and things
he wanted to see done, a family dinner that coming wkend, my mother, and
various other topics. Most of all, he wanted to go home. We had to fight
with the doctor to release him and make arrangements for a bed, etc. at
home but we got him released that morning. I believe his doctor could not
deal with death as some doctors can't. They are so busy trying to save
lives that they forget that some will die no matter how much they try to
prolong the inevitable. That night, my father made peace with my
mother for the rough times he gave her during their life together and then
slipped into unconsciousness. We all stayed with him knowing he would be
leaving us soon. I really admired the strength of my mother who sat in
vigil with him knowing she would be repeating this scene soon but that
she would be the one making the journey. When the end came, we were all
gathered around. I was sitting on the foot of the bed holding his hand
and he woke up and looked above me as if he was looking at someone and
trying to listen to what they said. His eyes glistened and you could see
peace in them. We all told him that we loved him and that it was ok to
go. My mother told him that she would be along shortly to join him. With
that his eyes seemed to follow someone and he sighed a heavy sigh and left.
As much as it hurt us and we grieved for him, death was quite peaceful.
With him letting us be there when he died, he totally wiped my fear of
death way. Death should not be feared as it is the beginning of a new journey
to a new home. The process of getting there is what can be scary but death
in itself is not. My father was my friend and business partner and I dearly
miss him, but I know he is still here for me. My father was always very
creative and when I see a beautiful sunset, I know he painted it for me
with my mother inspiring him.
We had no time to really grieve
for my father, as right after his funeral, we went to taking care of my
mother. We didn't want her to see us grieving for my father as we knew
she was having a hard time dealing with his death and knowing hers would
be very soon. Please continue with my mother's journey home.
My
Mother's Journey Home
The animated angel is from Angelic
Artistry.
Please visit them to see some more of Joan's great work
and to
learn of her ordeal with terminal cancer.
