As painful as it was to watch both my parents die, it was also a privilege and an honor. They let me accompany them part of the way on their "journey home". Being with them, I learned that death was not torment, but peaceful. Yes, the disease itself was painful, but death was not. Death was a release from that pain. A few months before my father died, he told me that he saw his mother who had died over 30 yrs ago. She told him that she would be there for him. Two days before he died, he was very chatty and seemed to be in good spirits. He wanted to talk and that we did all night. He chose to die at home. At first he was worried because he thought if he did, none of us would want to stay there afterwards because of fear. We assured him that this was not the case. When he died, he was surrounded by family and love. Just before he died, he looked up and you could see his eyes following someone and he was straining to listen. He then looked at us and we told him it was ok for him to go and that we loved him. He then looked back up and followed "something" again, and with a deep sigh he left us. Peace came over him and as much as we missed him, we knew he was at peace and happy.
 

Think of "death" as a journey home and whenever we make a trip, there are always preparations to make. Not all of us are able to make those preparations since we do not always know when we are going to make the trip. However, every day we live, is a day we should be preparing for that final journey. If we all thought that each day was our last, wouldn't we do things a little different that day? There are preparations to make before you go. You don't have to wait till you are dying to do this. When my father was ill, he was overcome with grief and sorrow. I was visiting him in the hospital and I never really saw my father cry before, but here he was crying and very upset. He was asking forgiveness for all the wrongs he had done in his life. He was scared because he didn't know what would happen to him when he died. A yr earlier I had read the book "Saved by the Light" by Dannion Brinkley. I sat down with my father and shared with him what I had read and helped him with his life review. We discussed his mistakes and we also discussed the good he had done. Many times we forget that when we make mistakes, it helps us grow stronger and we learn things from them. We discussed the good that came out of mistakes, changes hat had happened because of them, and he learned how to forgive himself. Everyone is their own worst critic and very hard on themselves. We look at a picture of ourselves and we are very critical of ourselves. We are even very critical of our lives. Unless we can forgive ourselves and others, how do we expect God to forgive us? In Dannion Brinkley's book, he discussed what happened to him when he "crossed over". He had to experience his life review when he "crossed over" and as he did, he felt all the pain and hurt he inflicted on others. He felt what they felt and saw the consequences of what he inflicted. He felt a tremendous amount of guilt and could not forgive himself. God was not judging him, he was judging himself. Is God not all loving and forgiving? God did not have to judge him or punish him. He was doing that himself by not forgiving himself. Once he learned to forgive himself, then he could feel the love God had for him. (I refer to God as God but he is called by many names, so insert your name for him). If we experience a life review before we die, and look at our wrongs and ask forgiveness and forgive ourselves, the fear of death will leave us as we then take the fear away. Once the fear is gone, we then can appreciate what life is and not live in the fear of the unknown. A person doesn't have to die or be dying to do a life review. Look at your life and examine it honestly. Try to rectify or at least recognize any wrongs you have done even if it was an unkind word to someone. Forgive yourself and set out on a new and enlightened path. Say a kind word to a person each day, smile at a stranger, spend a few extra minutes with your spouse or child, etc. You would be surprised how that small gesture can make so many changes in other lives. Learn to be a child again and enjoy the grass under your feet, the simple laughter of children at play, the smell of the trees after it has rained, chirping of the birds, the beauty of the sunset. When we learn to love ourselves and to forgive ourselves, then we can love others and forgive them also. Learn to be thankful for the small blessings you receive each day in your life and to let go of the negative things. Set your priorities, live each day as it was your last, and do not fear death; for when "death" comes, you will be ready. In doing so, you will find your purpose in life and your spirit will grow and will have accomplished what it came to this earthly plain for. When you truly learn how to live, then you will no longer fear "death". Learn to count your blessings and not your sorrows. If you know someone who is dying, maybe you can help them with their life review. (But only if they ask). It may be one of the most important things you can do for them.