And so. Kerry is officially Out. This has been a hot topic of discussion in Chalupa parts, as you would expect, since Tuesday 15th, when the script spoiler for this was released. In general, people are opposed to someone outing someone else. It's not nice and it's not right. It's an invasion of their right to decide when and how to make themselves known as a gay, lesbian or bisexual person.
But in this case, it wasn't strictly an outing. At least not a deliberate one. It's fairly well agreed that Sandy did not go to the ER with the intention to out Kerry, but her actions led to that. Her actions were, yes, inappropriate, but it was not a deliberate decision. What we saw here is the subject of some dispute. A bittersweet goodbye kiss? Very probably, but some believe that this relationship lacked that something special that would merit such a kiss having the desired (bittersweet) emotional impact. But if it wasn't deliberately intended to out, it was a goodbye kiss, however bittersweet or not. Sandy may have wanted to show Kerry that she couldn't escape her identity as a lesbian, but such interpretations are time-consuming and have, I'm sure, been discussed ad infinitum on your particular ER forum. What is clear is that the kiss did out Kerry, in fairly grand style. Sure, the staff may have had their suspicions before now, but now they know.
What is key is how Kerry goes on to react to this event. It is a generally agreed-upon opinion that Kerry can now take this event and make it her own. It happened, but it's up to her now. She can take the decision to move on, to live as an out lesbian, and we all hope she does. More scared, closeted Kerry is the last thing we want. Her initial reaction shows promise. A moment to collect herself, possibly think "oh crap", then turning and walking purposfully towards admit. Whether this is a sign of things to come, only time will truly tell.
But why is this such a key event in the life of any gay person, and what has made this particular event one of the most discussed, debated and argued on DtC in recent times? There have been pages devoted to the discussion of how this event should come about, and this only increased with the tantalising release of various script spoilers, many thanks to Bluebelly.
Simply put, because it marks the start of living as you. When you come out, you make a statement about the truth of who you are, and you can finally live as you. It's a liberating experience. Living in the closet, however, is not, and is many things to many people. To Kerry, it was major paranoia - from her unease in Four Corners, to her literal attempt to hide in Beyond Repair. She was terrified of anyone finding out, and took every measure to ensure no-one did. How she will react to Sandy's dramatic measure remains to be fully seen.
For others, it's simply the unease of living a lie - either hiding a relationship all together, or playing the pronoun game, whereby when referring to your significant other, you use 'he' instead of 'she' or vice versa. Either way, coming out is a huge relief, a burden off your shoulders. Not that it's all plain sailing. Some may not react well, and you are open to receive abuse, but although it's not much fun at times, you learn quick responses and you learn to cope. Overwhelmingly, though, coming out is a Good Thing To Do. Let's just hope TPTB portray it as such.
Jess (board name: moonfruituk
For coming out support, P-FLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Persons) is fairly invaluble, check them out at www.pflag.org and www.pflag.com. If you want more websites and resources, feel free to email me on [email protected]