Part Two
She wasn't sure how she'd made it back up to her apartment, nor how she'd cooked herself a meal without burning something, herself included.
And now she was on the sofa, staring at the package like it was some sort of Pandora's box full of memories she thought she'd left far behind, memories that she knew instinctively had the power to change her world beyond anything she'd thought possible.
Still she stared, almost daring the box to do something...to move or burst into song. Anything to relieve this tension.
She barely remembered having packed this box, but she remembered leaving it. She was never quite sure why she'd never given Kerry her stuff back, and to be honest, she hadn't wanted to delve too deep, afraid of what she might find. She'd just known that she was totally unable to put this box out with the trash, and so she'd hidden it in the guest bedroom, right at the back of a closet, where she thought....what had she thought? That it would disappear into Narnia? Clearly not. It was very much here, and very much a part of her life, whether she wanted it there or not.
Suddenly, the ringing of her phone shook her out of the stupor that had claimed her for the best part of an hour. Picking it up, she said "Legaspi"
"Hi Kimmy." Damn it, why her? "I was wondering if you'd like to come out with the girls tonight, honey. Apparently, Steph is bringing along some real cuties..."
Janey's voice tailed off temptingly, leaving Kim to imagine the rest. It wasn't that Kim didn't like Janey - she was one of her favorite people in San Francisco. When she was in the mood. Janey was one of those people who was a delight to be around most of the time, but could also be the single most irritating people on earth if she happened to catch you at the wrong time. And now was most definitely the wrong time.
"Janey, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to say no. I have some business to attend to." Kim tried to inject some genuine-sounding regret into her voice.
"Business, huh? And would this 'business' have a name, Dr. Kim?" Janey's tone was just a touch teasing as she tried to draw Kim out a little.
"No, Janey, it wouldn't, " said Kim, her voice betraying the beginnings of frustration. "Look, I'm sorry, but I really can't go out. Have a nice night though." With that Kim slammed the phone down and turned back round to face the coffee table. And saw it again. The box.
'Well, Kim, it's now or never,' she thought, sighing as she went to the kitchen to get some scissors to cut the tape. Picking them up almost reluctantly, she gave the scissors a glare that seemed to suggest they were somehow responsible for this whole crazy situation.
Feeling as if she was walking through maple syrup, she walked back into her den, almost begging the fire alarm to go off, or the phone to ring, or...and then she sat back down, with the box on her knee and the flaps open, revealing the contents of a life she thought she'd left far behind.
The scent was the first thing to hit her. Kerry had always sprayed her perfume into her drawers, and even now, almost a year on, the delicate scent still clung to the t-shirt that Kim had had made for Kerry in honor of her favorite catchphrases: "No, Wake Me" and "Different But Good". As she pulled the lilac top out of the box, she could almost feel Kerry next to her. She'd worn this top nearly every weekend, when they'd just hung around the house, eating a leisurley breakfast or reading the paper. It had never managed to stay on for more than a few hours, either, mused Kim with a melancholy smile.
Next came a photo, and Kim had to stop and wipe her eyes viciously to stop herself from breaking down right then. It showed Kerry sitting on the sofa in Kim's living room, with her feet up and a journal in her hands. Her eyes were just peeking at the camera, the sun was streaming in through the window and catching the red in her hair, bringing out the color to stunning effect. She was wearing a jewel green tank top and black, baggy pants, and looked like one of the most beautiful creatures on God's earth. But there was more to the photo than that. It was the first one Kerry had ever let Kim take of her, helped in part by the fact that Kim had caught Kerry almost totally unawares. She'd seen her sitting there, looking at peace with the world, and had snuck off to find her camera. Also, Kerry'd had a hard week in the ER, so when they'd arrived on Friday evening, Kerry's hip had been so sore she'd barely been able to walk up the steps to Kim's house. Over the weekend, though, Kim had taken advantage of Kerry's need to rest up by introducing her to her extensive lesbian video collection, with some memorable results.
Kim pulled out various items in quick succession, things which held little significance. A few pairs of underwear, a book, another t-shirt, a few CDs. These items that had been so much a part of her life, and were now scattered around her on the carpet and table. A life and a woman, she thought she'd left far behind. And here it was again, facing her. It seemed to Kim as though the assorted objects were taunting her, saying, 'See, you can't leave us behind. We're still here with you.' Kim sighed, and reluctantly marvelled at the woman who could still, after so much time, have such a profound effect on her. Right from when she'd first laid eyes on the ER chief, she'd known, somehow, that here was a woman who was different from anyone she'd ever known. And again the psychiatrist was being proven right. If it had been anyone else, she would have put this box out with the trash and gone out somewhere and carried on. But not this one. Never.
Kim reached into the box again, this time coming up with Kerry's perfume bottle. Before she'd thought about what she was doing, she sprayed a quick burst into the air and felt the fine droplets fall onto her arms. As the scent once again overwhelmed her, she made no attempt to stop the tears that had once again started to fall. Next came Kerry's various hand and face creams. One of Kim's favorite evening activities had been watching Kerry work her way through the various bottles and tubs that left her skin silky smooth. She remembered the way Kerry's fingers would carefully circle her eyes as she gently rubbed cream into the delicate skin surrounding them, or the eroticism of Kerry's hands smoothing another lotion up her legs, as she stretched them out in front of her, teasing Kim. Even now, Kim's thighs clenched slightly as she closed her eyes and saw the beautiful redhead in front of her, her robe barely staying shut as she bent over an outstretched leg, rubbing in the last remenants of lotion.
And then came a small photo album, and Kim wasn't sure she'd be able to even peek inside it. For Kerry's birthday, she'd paid a visit to Victoria's Secret, and then persuaded Kerry to model some of it for the camera. She'd had to get a friend to develop the photographs, since there was no way on earth she was letting some stranger pore over photos of her girlfriend. Kim placed the album beside her on the sofa.
She looked into the box that still sat on her knee, and suddenly her whole body was wracked with sobs. She'd put everything Kerry had given her into this box, including the beautiful first edition copy of "Winnie The Pooh". It had come as a surprise to both women that they shared a nostalgia for childhood stories, and as a result Kerry had somehow found this fantastic book. This book that had started her down this road, and led her to an apartment in San Francisco, where she sat, all alone, sobbing as memories that she had held for so long suddenly returned in full force.
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