Scars of Life

"Mama, what is that?" my daughter asked
As I got ready for bed one night.
I looked down at the ugly scar
Running across my belly.
"That is my badge of courage
And my door of hopes and dreams."
I told her as I remember the day
Of my emergency c-section.
"Oh," she said.

"Mama, what happened there?"
My son asked one morning.
I looked down at the mark
Upon my leg and remembered
How I ran and ran from his father
Late that night in the dark
And fell, gashing my leg open
Almost to the bone.
"Oh, nothing really, honey.
I fell off my bike when
I was just about your age."
"Oh," he said.

"What the hell caused that?"
My sister asked.
I hadn't seen her in years.
I glanced down at the scar,
Flashing back on a day
I never wanted to remember.
"Oh gee, I forgot.
Must have been some silly accident."
"Hmmmm," she said.

"What caused all those scars?"
God asked when life was over.

I looked deep within my soul
At the signs of life lived.
"Oh Lord, those are your gifts.
Those are the lessons learned
That I could pass on to help others.
Those are the experiences I gained
To show me right from wrong.
Those are the things, good and bad,
That show me that I truly
Lived a life and didn't just wander
Through an existence.
Those are your gifts
And I thank you for each of them."

He smiled.

September 30, 2000

Visit to the Past

I pulled the car into the driveway
And sat there with the motor running....
It's not too late to back out, ya know,
My mind tried telling me.

My eyes looked around the yard
And followed the line of the corn field
To the farmyard that lay beyond
Where chickens and pigs still wandered.

With a sigh, I shut off the motor
And climbed out of the car.
I turned around and slowly
Headed for the front door.

Echoes of children laughing
Played tag with shadows
Chasing memories around
Unforgotten corners....

I knocked on the door
And waited for an answer
While doubts and fears
Ran wild in my blood.

The door opened.
A small, smiling woman
Stood in the doorway
With a question in her eyes.

Hello, I whispered
I wanted to talk to you today
And thank you for what you
Did for me when I was a wee girl.

A look of wonder came
And drenched her face
As she reached out a hand
To pull me into the house.

Twelve years had passed
Since I last crossed this threshold
And I trembled as my feet
Drew me into the past.

How small the house seemed.
How tiny the rooms....
Where once a child found a castle
A woman found a cozy cottage...

She brought out a book
Filled with children's smiling faces
And without hesitation
Turned to my own small face.

Together we sat and looked
Both dwelling in our own past,
Then our eyes raised
And they met with a smile.

I spent a few hours there,
Ate dinner and talked.
We strolled through the farmyard
As we strolled through our memories.

She walked me to my car
And we hugged with gratitude
For my courage at facing
The past and the present.

I backed out of the driveway
And waved one last time
With a gentle smile for the woman
Who took me in as a child.

Dedicated to Mrs. John Sims....the most wonderful foster mother and caring woman on this side of God's heaven....

October 21, 2000

Alpha and Omega

Picture a boy and a girl you might have once known.
Though brother and sister, they grew up alone.
Their innocence stolen by karma's demands.
Life cast them, unwanted, into "Red Tapes" cold hands.
On separate paths, their futures were laid
And in time, their memories had started to fade.

A new instant family was cast one day.
Their real father came to take them away.
Two children, their father and his brand new wife
Had vision of sunshine in their future life
But things do not always work out as you plan
And sunshine was rain, then storms, so I ran.

January 6, 2001