A/N:Here it is, hope you don't hate me for taking so long. If you've read CS you may be able to understand my frustration at any lack of a real story line from LKH. I had the worst trouble trying to keep with her writing style and I'm not so sure I nailed it. Hope you enjoy . . .

 

DIASCLAIMER: Really, c’mon now. I don’t make any money off of these. The stories, I mean not the disclaimers . . . not that I make money off of the disclaimers, oh you know what I mean!!!

CHAPTER 6

Edward was his usual chatty self during the long ride home, which meant I had a lot of time to think over some of the things he said. The first time we met we had both been chasing after a rogue kiss of vampires. Yes, the ones that gave me the first of my lovely scars. Back then I had still been using the Firestar; Edward was the one that suggested the Browning. It took a while for him to tell me that he wasn’t a bounty hunter or a vampire executioner, and by then I had already guessed he didn’t operate strictly within the law. Then about three months later I got a call from him asking if I wanted in on a job that he was doing. He thought he might need backup, and my partial immunity to the vamps might come in handy. I politely informed him that I didn’t kill without a court order of execution. He in turn told me that someday that would change, and that he would be there when it did. Cryptic and frightening if I do say so myself. I almost told Dolph, almost. We worked together on a few court-ordered executions, and the rest is history. But something about his story just kept bugging me. The pieces of the puzzle just weren’t fitting together.

We got back to my apartment around 2:30, and the heavy silence had followed us from the car into the house. I just had to know whether the things he had said at lunch were true. I had so many things to ask I wasn’t even sure where to start. I decided to start with a general question and work from there.

"Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what?" Okay, maybe my question hadn’t been so well thought out.

"What you said at lunch?"

"Which part?"

"Anything you said about me."

"An example would be nice."

"So you did lie about some things." I might have been mistaken, but I wasn’t, in assuming that Edward was avoiding answering my question.

"Not necessarily, it’s just not good to generalize in these kinds of situations." I gave him an annoyed look and let out a loud sigh. Normally, this would discourage the person I was with. Then again, this was Edward, so he might need a little convincing.

"How about when you said that you’d loved me from the moment you saw me." He was silent for a moment.

"I was lying." I should have been relieved. Truth is the comment hurt, more than it should have. I couldn’t imagine Edward loving anyone that completely, let alone me, but I had begun to hope. Just a little.

"I’m relieved to hear it." Now I was lying. "What about that story of seeing Ronnie push me into the lake?"

"First, Ronnie didn’t push you, you fell. Second, I happened to be in town. I didn’t know who you were and considering the circumstances we met under, I didn’t think ‘Hey, you’re the girl who fell in the lake’ would make you like working with me any better." That makes sense. And it wouldn’t have made me like working with him.

"Why were you in town?" I could be difficult too.

"I had another job."

"So did you laugh?" I felt like one of those little animals in the desert that jumps back and forth to confuse predators.

"Huh?" Yay, It’s working.

"When Ronnie pushed me, did you laugh?"

"Okay, we’ve already established that Ronnie didn’t push you, you fell. And yes, I did laugh. Everyone did." Okay, that backfired.

"Did the job pay well?"

"I told you once Anita . . ."

"You don’t take less than 100 grand. Relatively speaking then."

"No, I guess not."

"Then why come all the way out here."

"What do you mean?"

"If the job didn’t pay well why did you come all the way from New Mexico to St. Louis?"

He just raised one annoyingly blonde eyebrow.

"I don’t think I’ll ever understand you Edward."

"Maybe in time." He smiled mysteriously.

"Yeah, but how much time?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that for years I don’t even know how to contact you, and then in two weeks you tell me everything I thought I knew is pretty much a lie. Then you get all tight lipped and refuse to tell me any more. How am I supposed to know you really mean it when you say you want a relationship?" He looked at me like I’d grown a second head.

"What is with you and all of the questions?"

"Did you think dating me would be like it is now with us, with the occasional one night stand?" It took a couple of seconds for him to look insulted and I knew the thought had crossed his mind. What else did I expect from a carrier of that pesky ‘Y’ chromosome?

"Why is it such a big deal for you to tell me why you were in St. Louis?"

"I don’t see how that’s any of your business."

"Edward, You said this morning that you wanted to take a shot at a relationship." I added a little extra bitterness to that last part, my ego still had a big nasty bruise on it. "Didn’t you learn anything with Donna? People in relationships tell each other things."

He stared at me for a full minute and finally stood up. When he started to walk away, I thought he was leaving. Instead he walked over to the Kitchen. It was clear he was brewing coffee but I had to say something. I’d had enough uncomfortable silences with my "boyfriend" for one afternoon.

"What are you doing?"

"You’re going to need coffee for what I’m about to tell you." Okay, now I was curious. Granted, I needed coffee for everything, but still. I didn’t want to start another line of questioning because I didn’t want him to think he didn’t have to answer my first question. So the silence stretched on until I was ready to leave the room. And then the coffee was done. He poured us each a cup and sat down. I took a sip; it was heaven in a cup. Edward made great coffee. If the rest of this relationship ended up as a disaster, the one good thing would be the coffee. I hadn’t been paying attention so it surprised me when he spoke.

"You want to know the truth?"

"Absolutely."

"I used to live in St. Louis." I had gotten good at hiding my surprise, but nobody’s that good. My jaw dropped and I’m pretty sure I would have been stuttering incoherently . . . if I had been able to speak. Something deep in the back of my brain was whispering that maybe this time I really didn't want to know. I must have opened my mouth to speak because Edward raised his hand to keep me from speaking.

"I had broken with Van Cleef and I picked St. Louis to live in."

"Why St. Louis?" He glared at me and I bravely stood my ground. That in itself was worth brownie points, but when he sighed and shook his head I knew I had won. I promised myself a treat later for being brave. Positive reinforcement does wonders for your self-esteem.

"I flipped a coin."

"You . . ."

"Flipped a coin, yes. A penny."

"A penny?" He sighed again, clearly annoyed with me. Oh well, he could deal. I was pretty annoyed with him.

"I laid out a map and flipped a penny. It landed on Missouri. I found a map of Missouri and flipped the penny again. It landed on St. Louis."

"Only on St. Louis?"

"I didn’t want to live in a small city."

"That’s unbelievably strange."

"Thank you."

"So, whether or not we met five years ago depended entirely on a coin toss? Should I be offended?"

"Jeez. This is going to take all afternoon. Can I go on now?"

"There’s more?"

"Not if you keep this up."

"Sorry. Please, go on."

"Good. When I said it wasn’t love at first sight I meant it. I’m not sure if I was able to feel love. Van Cleef had scared all of the emotion out of me, all of us at the academy really. But I was attracted to you. You may not understand what men see in you Anita, but everyone else does. I was in the park that day tailing my mark. I didn’t even notice you until you fell into the lake. Once you got out of the water though, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you." I wanted to mention that was probably because I was wearing a white T-shirt that day, but I didn’t think it would help matters. Self-control at it’s best.

"So you were attracted. Why didn’t you ‘go for it’?"

"How long do you hold a grudge?"

"Longer than this. Why didn’t you?"

"I thought you were too young for me. Emotionally and physically."

"And I’m not anymore?"

"Maybe. I’m 33."

"Wow, 33. Seven years older . . ." It really didn’t matter to me, but I got a sick thrill from teasing him about it. Petty, I know. But still fun.

"Is that a problem?"

"No, it’s just . . . wow. Can I call you old man?"

"Just because we’re dating doesn’t mean I won’t kill you."

"Not after we sleep together you won’t." I’d meant it as a joke but the look in his eyes told me he hadn’t taken it that way. It was the look in a man’s eyes when he was thinking about what he’d do to you in bed. He was almost as good at that look as Richard was. It was a little weird coming from Edward, but at the same time things low in my stomach clenched.

"Sorry to interrupt. You can go on." My voice sounded breathy even to me.

"You’re too kind." He put that extra shot of sarcasm in there. "It’s simple really. I liked you, but I didn’t want to like you. And since I kept seeing you everywhere I went, I decided that I would move away."

"But if you thought that being attracted to me was dangerous then why did you continue to work with me?" This was getting strange. I’m living in a world where Edward wants to date me, has been attracted to me for years, and we’re talking about it as if it were a philosophical debate.

"I figured that if I didn’t see you every day then it wouldn’t hurt to work with you, and you had potential." So that was it, Edward had been training me all these years and harboring a secret crush. What about Donna?

"What about Donna?"

"What about her?"

"For being someone you loved you don’t seem too broken up about it. For that matter why did you start seeing her in the first place?"

"I told you Anita, it was a role. Ted Forrester was introduced to her by a mutual acquaintance, and they went out for a while. I got sucked into it. I loved Donna like you love Jean-Claude; she appealed to a part of me I didn’t know I had. I even stopped coming out here for a while."

"Yeah, why was that?"

"Because every time I was here I would forget that Donna and Ted existed. And that would have been dangerous."

"You know, that’s kind of romantic."

"Heaven forbid. I’ll try to control my romantic impulses." We both smiled. The tension was easing, but I still wasn’t sure that I was comfortable with what I’d just heard. It was weird to think of Edward harboring a secret crush, especially for me. Weird, but not unpleasant. I’m still a woman and I liked the fact that a man had a crush on me. It was a huge ego boost. I felt the need to reciprocate. He’d just confessed something pretty big; I should do the same. Or was that just a girl thing? Nah.

"You know. I might’ve been slightly jealous of Donna." He raised an eyebrow. "Not too much, just a little." He raised the other one. I figured I could give him one more. "And I wanted to redecorate your house." His face broke out in that now familiar grin and he laughed. I needed more coffee. I got up and took mine and Edward’s cups back to the coffeepot for a refill. The act struck me as strangely domestic. I pictured myself in June Cleaver’s shoes and walking back to the table, handing Edward his coffee and kissing him on the cheek. Then I wondered if the boys would be able to tell through the marks. For that matter, would they know that I kissed him last night? My dreams were not exactly fantasy free. I’m only human, well mostly. And while I was thinking about the boys, how was I supposed to get rid of the marks? The last time another master had marked me and then he’d died. But what was I supposed to do, go out and find a master to mark me and then kill him? And even if I did, would I survive? I was getting a headache.

"Anita? You alright?" Apparently I had taken too long at the coffeepot.

"Yeah, I’m just thinking."

"About?"

"Nothing?"

"Now who’s being evasive." Dammit he was right, which meant I was wrong. I hated being wrong.

"I was wondering how I was going to get rid of the vampire marks."

"Ah, I can’t answer that one."

"Neither can I."

"Then why worry?"

"Easy for you to say." The impact of it all hit me like a runaway train and I had to lay my head down in my arms on the table. My life was supposed to get easier after deciding to break up with the boys. Now I was dating Edward and couldn’t figure out how to get rid of the marks. Not to mention I had to figure out how to deal with the pard. They were still mine until I officially turned them over to Micah and I couldn’t do that until he had earned their trust. Yeah, my life was a LOT easier now. I must have started crying because I could hear soft sobs that I doubted were coming from Edward. Strangely enough I didn’t care if Edward saw me crying. I heard him get up and go to the fridge, but I was really too upset to care what he was doing. All of the sudden Edward was behind me. I had moved far enough forward on the chair that he was sitting behind me. He moved my hair over to one side and laid an icepack on my neck. Leave it to Edward to know that I had a headache. The confusion had chased away the tears and I was left sniffling.

"What are you doing?"

"I thought you liked the mushy stuff." I was momentarily confused but then I remembered out conversation earlier this morning. I smiled and laid my head back down and he laid his chin on my shoulder and rested his cheek against mine. I may have a lot of things to worry about still, but for right now this was enough.

I don’t know how long we sat there like that. I nearly fell asleep then realized that if I did I might miss my meeting with the boys. Technically we were still dating.

"I am such a slut." I must have said it out loud because Edward didn’t raise his head but I felt him raise an eyebrow.

"My kind of girl."

"Technically I’m still dating Richard and Jean-Claude, and now you. I’m juggling three men at once." I could feel Edward chuckling against my back.

"My mother warned me about girls like you." The comment shocked me more than it should have. Of course Edward had a mother; he was human.

"Where is your mother?"

"At home."

"Where is that?"

"Later, Anita. Please, no more questions." I guess I could live with that for now. Still, it was time to get up.

"It’s time to get up. It’ll be dark soon."

"You gonna change?"

"Yeah, I’ll need to take more weapons than I can carry with this on."

"I’ll clean up out here." Until he said that I hadn’t realized that everything from our failed attempt at breakfast was still sitting on the counter. Remembering why we didn’t finish left me blushing furiously and Edward laughing. He kissed me gently on the lips and said, "Go and change. I’ll clean up."

I changed into black jeans and a button down black shirt over a white tank top. The blade, which I had replaced the sheath for, went on my back, the browning in a shoulder holster and the Firestar in my inner pants holster. Edward was putting the dishes in the dishwasher when I came out. When he saw me he chuckled softly.

"You’re wearing my shirt." I took it off and sure enough, there was the tag from some men’s department store.

"Sorry, I guess it just got mixed in with the other black shirts . . . hanging in my closet?"

"I didn’t want them to wrinkle. Wear it. It’s easier to get to all of the guns under a loose shirt. Besides . . . you look cute." This was really getting annoying. If Edward called me cute one more time, I wouldn’t be responsible for my actions. I gave him a look and he smiled and walked over to me.

"I mean it. You look good in my shirts." And then he kissed me. Last night they had been chaste, this morning, passionate. This was amazing. His tongue gently slipped between my lips and my mind went blank. Jean-Claude may have had a few hundred years of practice, but he still couldn’t compare to this tingling sensation running up my spine. His arm slipped around my waist and I was thankful because I wasn’t sure I could stand. I was wrong before, coffee wasn’t what Edward was best at. When he pulled back we were both breathing hard. He slipped his shirt off my shoulders and I stopped him.

"We’re meeting with a vampire who can smell lies and a werewolf that can smell . . . everything else. That probably isn’t such a good idea."

"I think it’s a very good idea." I gave him my best ‘back off’ look but I don’t think it was what it could be after that kiss. He sighed and let go of me.

"I need to change," he said.

"Okay." He gave me another small kiss on the forehead and retreated into my room. I sat on the couch because there was nothing to do and I waited. I tried not to think about breaking up with the boys. Jean-Claude had proven on more than one occasion that he was capable of reading my thoughts. I turned on the TV that I had bought when the pard moved in and I started watching one of those melodramatic made for TV movies. Then I got bored and changed the channel. I was watching an old episode of wheel of fortune on the game show network when Edward came out. He had on a black button down shirt with black dress pants, and a black leather trench coat. He was wearing an undershirt, which meant he probably had those tiny throwing knives strapped on underneath his shirt. I knew he must have been wearing a shoulder holster, but the coat looked like it had been tailored to hide such things.

"What, no garrote?" I had meant it as a joke, I mean, would he really try to strangle a vampire or a werewolf?

"In the jacket collar." Then again . . . maybe he would. He smiled and butterflies I didn’t know I had in my stomach began to calm. "You’re nervous."

"Well, yeah."

"I thought you said you didn’t believe they’d hurt you."

"I know they wouldn’t have, six months ago. But when Richard found out that I’d . . ." That I’d had sex with Jean-Claude, but I wasn’t sure about discussing it with Edward.

"That you’d . . .?"

"Had sex with Jean-Claude. Richard tore the room up." I knew I was blushing, but Edward knew I’d had sex with them.

"I would’ve too."

"He has a bit of a jealous streak."

"And the vampire?"

"He threatened to kill Richard when he found out we were engaged."

"You were engaged?"

"For a few hours."

"But he wouldn’t attack you?"

"I think where Jean-Claude is concerned you should probably worry more about yourself than about me. For that matter Richard’s only attacked me verbally, so far."

"So I’m going with you tonight to bodyguard . . . myself?" I could see his point. It seemed silly. Except that now I had to tell the boys that I’d found someone else. I didn’t know how they would take it, but I doubted that they would bring gifts.

"They’re not exactly going to be happy with me either, you know." I looked at my watch and realized that we must have been sitting in the chair longer than either of us had realized, because 4 hours had passed. "Let’s get some dinner first."

"Where?"

"Anywhere we can take our guns."

"So I get to pick the restaurant?"

"As long as I approve." He smiled at me.

"So no Mexican food?"

"Pretty much."

"Fine, but I hate Chinese." That made me laugh.

 

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