June 27, 2004
Music: Son Of A Gun - Janet Jackson Featuring P. Diddy (yes I know that's not the video playing on this site)
Mood: amused, cynical, a tad bit annoyed

Taken from my Livejournal (which explains the extra spaces... too lazy to turn in br's so I'll keep them at p's)
I went to go see Fahrenheit 9/11 today. I know I was supposed to see it yesterday, but let me tell you the crap that went down yesterday. Yesterday my brother and I showed up to the theater, expecting not to see a lot of people going to see this movie because it is a documentary, because it is political science, because the last Michael Moore movie we saw in a theater (Bowling for Columbine) hardly anyone saw it and you had to go to some unknow theater like Maddstone to see it.

Hah! We showed up there, bought tickets, and the guy said "Ok, there is scattered seating... so if you wish not to use these tickets, return them to Customer Service for a later time". We thought ok... scattered seating? We went inside the movie house... and saw a huggest line ever! "What is this for?" we thought. Hah! "Is this for White Chicks?" Hah! No, low and behold it was for Fahrenheit 9/11! Damn, shit, fuck!

I was annoyed. Yes, great for Michael Moore cause he's getting support and money... which was not really given to him before. Yays for that. What I was annoyed about was that there were stupid kids going to this movie, who have probably never even heard of Michael Moore until they saw his promo at the MTV Awards. I hate these kids, who are just part of the hype. Its like The Passion all over again. People going to see the damn movie because its controversial... because they think its the ultimate truth.

Yes, Michael Moore presents truth. Yes it was a great movie. But how are you going to see this movie without any prior knowledge? Do you watch the news? Do you read the new paper? Do you read anything your history and political science teachers give you? Do you know of anything going on besides the usual "We are at war with Iraq and Bush is bad?"

More than half of these kids who were going to see it, didn't even look like they pay much attention to anything besides American Eagle. That irratates me that these kids are going to see this movie because of either 1.) All the hype and controversy 2.) Because they think they're going to be viewed as an intellectual because they saw a documentary (whoop dee doo scenester kid) or 3.) Because they view Michael Moore as the all and mighty truth.

I love Michael Moore, don't get me wrong. I think he's hilarious and basically the only real muckraker around. You don't see too many of them now these days. I just hate it when people either do something because its all the rage or because they believe that this person is the only truth.

Ok... I think I'm done. Now come and comment and ask me how the movie went and how I liked it. No... I'll save you the trouble. I loved the movie, Michael Moore is a funny persistant guy. Thing is everything in this movie you can find in his book Dude, Where's My Country. Yes that's right... this movie is just a visual for those who've never heard of the book and don't like to read much.

I need to get that book back. My brother stole it from me... and has totally trashed the dust jacket that it came in. I saw the dust jacket in his room... but where is the book? I paid a lot for that damn book. It was fucking hard cover for pete's sake.

June 21, 2004
Music: Cupid - 112
Mood: ill... I love my lungs that are prone to bronchitis and phneumonia... I love having chronic coughs...

Yeah I'm sick... I finally and saw Ganesh (not India's God... my doctor) and had me my x-rays done. Looks like a sinus infection (which explains all the massive pressure that I feel in my head... and my need to be cross eyed... pleasant) and a bit of streaking in my lungs. Meaning I have a minor cross between bronchitis/phneumonia... as usual. But its not that bad this time because I took care of my lungs this time. Thank God for the inhailer or else I would have been in big trouble.
I swear to boobies if anyone smokes around me without the courteousy to let me know or to move to a different area.... y'all know what I am capable of - and then some! Dr. Ganesh actually asked me about the second hand smoke, so yes it is a factor in my health. Mind you all second hand smoke is a lot more deadly than first hand smoke (which may explain why Frankie isn't doing as bad as you think). So yeah, for those who don't know this info, now you know. Don't fucking smoke around me.
Anyway... don't y'all love 112? I freaking miss their music. I can't find my CD anywhere. I bet my brother stole it. I love bumping Peaches n Cream in my car... even though that song was high school dance.
I'm not all "punk rock" as someone once said. In fact, I am not at all punk rock. I'm not even emo. I just like good music and my fave bands just happen to be Phantom Planet, Rooney, Rilo Kiley, Hanson, and No Doubt.
Anyway, I'm off subject and delirious. Its time for my meds. Those pills are freakin' huge!

June 07, 2004
Music: crap ass music on TFC
Mood: exhausted

This post was used on my Livejournal, so the coding may be a little funky. Also, this post is mostly photos, enjoy!

So... my weekend was kick ass. I'll skip Friday (mainly because I didn't take pictures that day) and go right on ahead to Saturday!

My Saturday started off like this:

Waking up to a rainbow




Seeing The Stills do an in-store performance at M-Theory Records...

Me and Dave


Me (laughing), Fletcher (Tim), and Ranee


They signed my arm, and I am going to be in their documentary




After the in-store we realized we were in...


Off to Solana Beach for the Fiesta Del Sol to see Phantom Planet

Before watching Phantom Planet, we saw a band who wasnt so bad... but actually kinda cool Common Sense




While listening to Common Sense... people were getting drunk and high... and oh the fumes!











Up next was... Phantom Planet!!!
















I got to see them after the show... as usual

first, meeting up with a friend :)


then...

Sweet


HICKEY!


Bunny Ears


The end of the day looked like this:


yuuum


NEXT DAY!

The next day was supposed to be pretty chill... till I Johnny Rockets called and said he could take us into the Dashboard Confessional show...





Whooo!!! And all of this was FREE!!!

June 04, 2004
Music: Reggie - The Sounds
Mood: a bit of everything (including sickness)

Ok, I am officially in LIMBO! Not the bad limbo I was in before... but the "Okaaaay... dip your toe in to see if it's ok, go in a little further, step a little back... stay where your are" kind of limbo. Yeah... gotta look both ways... not to expect too much... in away I just don't want to deal with it, but do it anyway because I want to see the outcome although... waiting is a bitch!
Too many concerts are coming up... dunno what to do. This weekend I'm going to the Del Sol Festival to see Phantom Planet... next week I'm going to Pepsi Smash to see Kanye West and Sugar Cult... plus I'm thinking about these concerts but so if-y on the money factor:

Warped Tour (The Sounds, ImaRobot, Kill Hannah, and Ozma will be there)
Lollapalooza (2 day fest, with Modest Mouse, Polyphonic Spree, Morrisey, Von Bondies, Flamming Lips + more)
No Doubt/Blink 182/Phantom Planet in Phoenix, AZ (because when they come here, it won't be PP with them, but some other band)
Rooney and Ozma @ Canes
Yeah Yeah Yeahs @ SOMA
The Elected ft/Jenny of Rilo Kiley @ The Echo in LA

Ok.... that's all I can remember for right now... but there are so so so many concerts... and some of the days are conflicting... and I haven't even included all the Pepsi Smash dates! Plus, there are several birthday parties to attend! Eeeesssshhh!
Well, enough for now, must continue eating... layers... and as Sean says... peas!

May 31, 2004
Music: True Colors - Cyndi Lauper
Mood: Lethargic all day

Yesterday was quite entertaining... went to LA for Meli's bday... met some fellow /r/ boarders... it was fun. I'd explain a whole lot more if I had the pictures with me... but I forgot to bring my own camera... so Stef used hers. And Stef cannot upload for a couple of weeks cause 1.) Her laptop is broke and she had to send it to HP to get it fixed and 2.) She packed away most of her stuff cause she's painting her room.
There is one kick ass picture of me and a cherry... total vixen I am! Hahaha... I didn't mean to be so sexy in the picture in the pic... I was trying to be funny and it just happened. Hahaha... once I saw the pic I screamed "Holy Shit!"... everyone wondered what I was so excited about... and Jon and Abe peeked over to look at the picture... haha it was so funny! They both shelded their eyes and yelled "NO! I don't want to see that!". Hahahah... aww their older shister is damn sexy and they are embarrased(sp)! Whoo! Hilarity!
Anyway... I slept most of today... I did go have BBQ con mi familia... and then watched Soul Plane and had In N Out with my brother. When I got back home... I passed out again and woke up at 8pm... I don't know what's wrong with me.
Well.... have fun reading a private entry I made this morning... some parts have been edited for my personal sanity.

I was down� I picked myself up again with the help of my friends� I was getting over it� not over him� but I was doing better� and now I am back where I started� and its harder cause I already did everything that was supposed to get me over it� and it worked up until� after the word HOPE was� and I try so hard to listen to what JR says� �Don�t think about hope because hope will come�� and I try so hard to listen to what Gilbert says� �Don�t let anyone make you feel bad for having hope because having hope is a way of cope� because you should be able to let go when you are ready to let go... and maybe hope will come�.

Ranee, Gilbert, Stef� I love talking to them about this cause they understand� they know how hard it is� they know what its like� they know whats real... They understand� and JR� I don�t know his whole background� but he can say a simple sentence and make me feel better. He can be wise like that� I�m not even sure if he realizes he is being wise like that.

I put on my broken smile more often now� I cry... again� it hurts� it hurts more than anything� what hurts a lot is that everyone seems to love my company, my words, how fun I am� they tell me how great and special I am� and I can�t help but think� if I am so damn special� then why this? Why was I let go? Why?

NSYNC, U2, Weezer� certain songs from these people� and perhaps others� I can�t listen to. It hurts too much. I don�t know� so hard� so hard� so hard�

Abe: �Its not that hard�� yes it is� yes it is. I am not like everyone else� I can�t get over someone by just hating them. Yes I hate what was done to me, but I don�t hate him. And who can get over 3 years of love quickly? How is that not hard? If you can get over it quickly, then I suspect that what was there was not real.

I know what I had was real� and everyone else knew it too. If you were ever there during the weekdays� if you ever came by and saw the two of us just chillin�� you would know�

May 28, 2004
Music: Bridge to Nowhere - the like.
Mood: Sleepy

Lately everyone has been telling me how much I mean to them and how much they love me and appreciate me. Why is everyone doing this all of a sudden? I love and appreciate each and every word you all say to me... but why? Why now? Why me?
What the hell makes me so special from everyone else? I love the words... don't get me wrong... it just makes me wonder. What makes a guy call me all drunk from a party... at one o'clock in the morning... just to tell me he loves me, that I'm his best best best friend... even though I choose not to believe in best friends... to say that I am his sister... etc etc? What makes a girl write entries about how much she looks up to me, is so proud of me, and is happy that I could be part of her life? What makes people so excited to see me? What makes people decide to reveal their secrets to me... and to no one else including their own best friends?
I love it... but I still smile my broken smile. I should be drinking in all this positive feedback from my loving friends... but I am not. Something is wrong... I know what's wrong... but I don't want to put all the blame on that either. That being... well you figure it out.
*sigh* I was on a fansite affiliated with Rilo Kiley... and I found a kick ass video of their cover of "Simply Irresistable" by Robert Palmer (may he rest in peace). That song... I never knew it could sound so pretty. I swear, when I get married... I am going to call RK over, and have them perform at the reception... have them play that song. Cause it sounds so damn pretty.
Don't want to get too sap-tacular here now... I just wanted to say... thanks to all the kind words... but really I'm not that great! You're all there for me, just as much as I am there for you... so really thanks and appreciation should go out to you guys.

May 26, 2004
Music: She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
Mood: Melancholy with a broken smile

*sigh* Truly The Best Worst Year Ever!. Yesterday was bomb shit diggy... I loved it. It was truly spontaneous. It started off as just me helping Stef get her oil changed... somehow Jon got involved... we got hungry... ate at my fave family restaurant Keith's... I checked my mail before we got in... and guess whats in my inbox? My Pepsi Smash tickets!
So we decided to screw the oil change to till the next day so we could all go to Smash. I only had 2... and we wanted Stef and Abe to go... so I called up Frances and Meli if they had any extras.... they had one... but it was an if-y still... so we made a fake ticket and crashed Pepsi Smash! Whoo!

We saw (in order): Joss Stone, Phantom Planet, Alanis Morrisette, and Maroon 5.

Ah! And Maroon 5 played my song, She Will Be Loved... shit almost cried... especially when Abe and Jon looked at me towards the end of the song... ahh!
Phantom Planet was kick ass as usual. I got to talk to Alex and Sam... got a hug from Sam and he signed my arm... haha even though I have 2 autographs from him, along with the other members at home. Sad, this was the first time seeing them w/o Jacques :(.
Anyway... look for me on TV... they got me a lot! Dancing to Joss Stone, rockin out to PP and going crazy during my other song from Alanis: Outta Know (damn straight that's my song!).
So why am I so melancholy when I had such a kickass time? Partly because Maroon 5 played my song... partly because of a conversation I had with Mr. Rockets... and because I am in LIMBO. I would explain more but y'all see me as the psycho bitch. Am I correct?
Damn... I don't understand how some people can just hate without knowing the other person. I don't understand how people can make these prejudgements... I mean everyone has prejudgements... but at least I am decent enough to at least try to give people a chance. At least I am willing to prove my prejudgements wrong. Other people don't do that for me... and fine go ahead and be that way. Shows what kind of a person you are now doesn't it?
Sean took my layers... so I shall steal his way of a goodbye... peas!

May 24, 2004
Music: Small Figures in a Vast Expanse - Rilo Kiley
Mood: Cynical as FUCK

Hello world full of heartbreakers and depressed mofos! I am back! What will I say now? Hrrrmmm...
Before I start griping about the bullshit of life, y'all must help me decide... which concert to go to! You all know I'm a bit of a SCENE WHORE (thank you Johnny Rockets), and there are so many kick ass concerts to choose from. My main concern right now is for the date of June 10th. Should I stay in SD and watch the Yeah Yeah Yeah's with the SD home fry's at SOMA... or should I go see The Elected ft/Jenny of Rilo Kiley with Sean and anyone else who wants to come at The Echo?
I love Rilo Kiley (which is basically The Elected w/Daniel of Ozma... and some other dude), and I doubt they'll be touring anytime soon right now because they're pulling a Hanson. So I really want to see them in LA... its been a year since they were last in SD.
Then there are the Yeah Yeah Yeah's. I missed them the last time they were cause I had no money... plus I think it was a 21+ show (or was that The Shins?). The plus side to this show is that its in SD... the plus side to seeing RK that its only 10 bucks.... I derno...
Anyway... I plan to be going to massive amounts of concerts again... like last year. Where its once or twice in one month. I love concerts... its bomb shit diggy.
Onto the GRIPES!
Know what I hate right now in life? People who toy with others emotions. I hate seeing it happen to my friends... I hate it. Its happened to me before... oh yeah... but I can handle myself... other people can't... and it's just wrong to fucking play with other people. Its fucking wrong. And if you seriously think you are doing NOTHING WRONG, I feel bad for you for being so damn ignorant and dense (don't get offended, I'd rather be ignorant than plain stupid).
Its plain shitty to hear someone say that other people are walking contradictions... when they're a walking contradiction themself. Don't be a hypocrite. Hypocrites are looked down upon in society... you wouldn't want to be a social outcast now would you?
Who am I talking about? Who is this "you" I speak of? Don't question. Figure it out. This "you" could just be in general... or this "you" could be aimed towards somebody... who knows? Do you really care? Are you going to talk shit behind my back when you're done reading? Are you going to tell someone about this entry? Are you going to try to have a talk with me? Are you going to have someone else try to have a talk with me? Do you think I'm a psycho bitch?
Listen up, I'm only psycho when I see my friends hurting... or if I am hurting myself. I don't like how people step all over people... leaving them hurt and ego broken.
I had more to say... but I'm a bit peeved now and I don't want to sound like a bumbling idiot.... and BE A WALKING CONTRADICTION :D have a good day y'all!