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| Okay, so I was watching Letterman, and I had an idea. Well, not so much HAD an idea as STOLE an idea. But since I'm gonna do some things that Dave doesn't do, I might as well use it as my own idea. Besides - it's not like Letterman INVENTED the top ten list anyway, so fuck the gap-toothed bastard. Leno's funnier anyway. Anyway, I'm gonna do my own top ten lists. That's the idea. Go ahead and read 'em and enjoy. Ane remember, these are MY top tens, unless otherwise noted, so if you don't agree with 'em, go fuck yourself. I don't care. Or send me an email and I'll explain to you just WHY your list is wrong. Oh, and if you have an idea for a top ten list, email me or put it in the guestbook and I'll see what I can do. |
| TOP TEN FAVORITE BANDS/SINGERS/MUSICAL ARTISTS 10. Queensryche - everything before 'Promised Land'. That, and everything after it, sucks ass. 9. Alice Cooper 8. Ronnie James Dio - except when he was in Elf, which blew goat. 7. Billy Joel 6. W.A.S.P. 5. Hammerfall 4. Cinderella 3. John Williams - Yeah, the guy who does all the musical scores for movies. He's a fuckin' GENIUS! 2. Iron Maiden 1. KISS |
| TOP TEN FAVORITE ALBUMS 10. Without Love - Black 'N Blue 9. Accident of Birth - Bruce Dickinson 8. Live in Concert - Cinderella 7. The Crimson Idol - W.A.S.P. 6. Revenge - Kiss 5. The Last in Line - Dio 4. Crimson Thunder - Hammerfall 3. Operation: Mindcrime - Queensryche 2. Piece of Mind - Iron Maiden 1. Creatures of the Night - KISS |
| TOP TEN FAVORITE DRUMMERS 10. Frankie Banalli 9. Rany Castillo 8. Liberty DeVito 7. Eric Singer 6. Steve Gadd 5. Vinny Appice 4. Buddy Rich 3. Tommy Aldridge 2. Nicko McBrain 1. Eric Carr |
| TOP TEN FAVORITE SONGS 10. Angry Young Man - Billy Joel 9. Goodbye America - W.A.S.P. 8. Parental Guidance - Judas Priest 7. Burn - Deep Purple 6. Thank God For the Bomb - Ozzy 5. Glory to the Brave - Hammerfall 4. Rime of the Ancient Mariner - Iron Maiden 3. Man on the Silver Mountain - Rainbow 2. I Don't Believe in Love - Queensryche 1. Creatures of the Night - KISS |
| TOP TEN HOTTEST CHICKS ON THE PLANET 10. Robbie - She will whine incessantly if she is not on the list. 9. Faith Hill - Simply beautiful in a classical way - and she can fuckin' sing too! 8. Jessica Simpson - Yeah, I said it. So what? I know she's dumber than a box of hair. I don't wanna marry her, I just want her to shut up so I can stare at her. 7. Racquel Darrian - still the best ass on the planet, bar none! 6. Tanya Roberts - even older than I am, and STILL hot as hell! 5. Tricia Helfer - the best reason to watch the new Battlestar Galactica. 4. Trish Stratus - Why did she leave the WWE before doing Playboy? 3. Jessica Drake - the hottest porn star in the known Universe, and smart to boot! 2. Princess - Simply the Most Beautiful Girl in the World! 1. Heather Locklear - Can there BE a more perfect example of womanhood? |
| TOP TEN FAVORITE PORN STARS 10. Vicky Vette 9. Jill Kelly 8. Wendy Divine 7. Amber Lynn 6. Nikki Tyler 5. Sunrise Adams 4. Shayla LaVeaux 3. Angel Cassidy 2. Racquel Darrian 1. Jessica Drake |
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| TOP TEN FAVORITE MOVIES 10. Highlander 9. Tombstone 8. Godzilla - and again, the original, not the sequels or remakes. 7. First Blood 6. Raiders of the Lost Ark 5. Terminator 4. Goodfellas 3. The Day the Earth Stood Still 2. Superman the Movie 1. Star Wars - NOT the trilogy, or the "saga." Just the original movie. |
| TOP TEN FAVORITE TV SHOWS 10. Two and a Half Men 9. Sledge Hammer! 8. The War at Home 7. Battlestar Galactica 6. The Greatest American Hero 5. NYPD Blue 4. Night Court 3. Quark - shame on you if you don't know this show. 2. Star Trek - the original series. 1. Family Guy |
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| Me, hard at work on the next top ten list, while simultaneously letting you know what I think of your meaningless little opinion. Have a nice day. |
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| And another shot of Heather Locklear just because she's so hot. And because I have extra space. |