Helga the Shemale Viking was pillaging a paper mill one day when a salmon fell from the sky onto her head. It hurt. She yelled " Schnell! " And so the fish obeyed and became her loyal pet of which she rode to Camelot. There she met with a wizard named Bacon. He told her that raw meat makes you crap, and then he told her that some day her Salmon friend would become a great master of evil and destroy her. She considered for a moment and then decided that she would...
Pimp slap the wizard and go home with Salmon
Kill the Salmon with her trusty cheese mallet
Shoot herself in the head with an acorn
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