Introduction
"Well, actually, I'm single," Jimmy replied. He cringed and gave a weak smile to the female screams from the audience. He cringed a little more when he heard a distinctive male "I love you!" mixed in.
"Okay ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here! Precious little Jimmy Fallon is single!" Rosie O'Donnell announced. "And that's all the time we have. Thank you, Jimmy, you little cutie patootie! And everyone, don't forget to watch Saturday Night Live at 11:30 on NBC!"
"Thanks, Rosie, that was great," Jimmy said, shaking the host's hand. He got up and walked dumbfounded off the set. 'She's gonna kill me,' he thought.
Chapter 1
"What?! You said you were single?! Jimmy, I can�t believe you would do that to me!" Natasha screamed and threw her brandy glass across the room, nearly missing Jimmy�s head. "We�ve been together for two years!"
"Natasha, that�s hardly true. We went on one date two years ago, we sleep together sometimes, and you went to a premiere with me because we have the same agent. You haven�t had a job in weeks so I let you crash here. That�s it. And besides, we agreed to not go public with our so-called relationship, so I didn�t. Not that I really want to have any sort of relationship with you right now," Jimmy finished, biting his tongue after the last words, knowing he had set her off.
"Don�t fuck with me, James. You don�t know what I could do to you." She crossed the room with unsteady steps, but her gaze didn�t shift from his face.
He turned his head to avoid her bloodshot eyes. The red around the edges of her nostrils matched the veins in her baby blues, and her breath smelled of brandy, as usual. His mind buzzed with millions of comebacks, but he didn�t want to fight anymore. The dollar bills and mirrors dusted with white powder on the coffee table, the empties flooding out of the garbage can, and her emaciated figure all made him want to vomit.
"Natasha, you�re a washed up, coked out, alcoholic, has-been lingerie model. You can�t do anything to me. Now take your shit and leave. Find some other gullible comedian to fuck over."
"Fine! I don�t need you! I�m going places! You�re staying at that stupid show for the rest of your career! You think you�re making movies? Ha! And by the way, you�re a lousy fuck. I�ve had bigger AND better." She continued to rant as she gathered her random pieces of clothing and stashes hidden in drawers throughout the apartment. Jimmy stood by the window, arms crossed, staring her down until she finally slammed the door.
He was still for a moment, reflecting on what had just happened, then jogged to the cabinet under the kitchen sink and brought out all the disinfectant sprays he could find. He scrubbed and vacuumed until there was no trace of powder, no scent of alcohol except for the beer in the fridge, no hint of her perfume. Natasha was gone, and it was 4:30 in the morning. 'Shit,' he thought, then plodded down the hall to his bedroom and passed out into a deep sleep with his clothes still on and a paper towel clenched in his fist.
Chapter 2
"Jimmy, when you�re done with that, I�d like to see you for a minute in my office."
Jimmy�s head snapped up from the computer when he heard his boss�s distinct voice. Rachel was helping him think of words that sound ridiculous when spoken with a Boston accent to use in the next Sully and Denise sketch. "Uh, sure thing Lorne, I�ll be there in a minute," Jimmy replied nervously.
"Wonder what he wants," Rachel mused. "Sounded kinda important. I hope he doesn�t fire you or anything," she joked and punched him in the arm.
"Ow...yeah I hope he doesn�t do that either..." Jimmy trailed off.
"You okay, Jim? You seem a little aloof�distant�standoffish...oooh that�s a good one!" She nudged Jimmy away from the computer and he wandered down to Lorne�s office in a daze, not sure if he should be worried about what awaited him behind the door and his mind still on the events of the night before. Natasha's lifestyle had been sucking the life out of Jimmy for the past three weeks, and he hadn�t realized it until she was finally gone. No more drunken fights, no more near-overdoses, no more disturbances. But for some reason, he couldn�t help feeling a little sad that Natasha was gone. When she was sober, she was a great girl, he thought, and remembered that date they went on two years ago. She had come to see him perform at a club because their agent had recommended it, and had introduced herself after his set. He suggested they go for a drink and wound up dancing and talking all night. They had both grown up in upstate New York, so they shared stories about snow days and annoying city people inhabiting their towns in the summer. The next time Jimmy saw Natasha was at an after-party for a film screening a couple days after their date. She was hiding out in a corner of the exclusive club with some other models. Excited to see her, he had waved across the room, but she just stared past him in a daze, then he saw her lower her face to the table in front of her, one finger to her nostril. He later learned from her friends that her last boyfriend had been a coke dealer and she was hooked. He tried to help her a few times, but the only thing he could do was let her crash at his place when she needed to. And now that was over.
Chapter 3
Jimmy poked his head into Lorne�s door. "You wanted to see me? Oh...hey Tina. I�m not interrupting, am I?"
Tina was sitting across from Lorne�s desk, and Lorne motioned for Jimmy to take the seat next to her. "No, no, Jimmy, have a seat. I actually have to talk to the two of you together."
"Come on, Lorne, the suspense is killing me," Tina giggled, then pushed her trademark glasses up her nose. [Author�s note- that sounds weird, but you know what I mean- her glasses were sliding down her nose so she pushed them back up, not like her glasses were up her nose :)]
Jimmy sat down and ran his hands through his hair, then glanced sideways at Tina. 'Man, those glasses are sexy,' he thought. 'Wait, what am I thinking?!' He�d known Tina for the two years he had been on the show, but hadn't had the chance to work really closely with her. He and Rachel wrote the Boston Teens sketches, and Tina just had to look over those. He mainly worked with the other writers for other sketches, and Tina seemed like a kind of goddess who had to approve all their work. He smiled nervously at her then turned back to Lorne.
"So, as both of you know, Colin Quinn's leaving has created a vacancy at Weekend Update, which of course we have to fill. Jimmy, I have been talking with Tina and some of the other staff, and we�ve decided to ask you if you'd like the spot."
"What? Oh my God! Lorne, that's crazy! This is so great!" Jimmy was ecstatic. He�d been secretly hoping to have a bigger role in the show now that it was his third season, and this was just the ticket. But then the realization of the huge responsibility of the position hit him. He'd have to write the jokes practically all by himself, and what if they were bad? Colin had bombed a lot of jokes, but could Jimmy handle that? There was nobody else behind the desk to help him out, and plus, he�d have to wear a suit every week. His face fell. "Um, except for one thing. I...uh...don�t really read the news that much. And that�s a lot of pressure for a 26-year-old slacker with messy hair!" He tried to end with a joke to ease himself, but it didn�t really work. Then he got an idea. "Is there any way I could get a co-anchor to do it with me?" He looked earnestly at his boss.
"Actually, Jimmy, I was thinking the same thing. It�s time we brought back the male-female news team, and that�s why I asked you here, Tina. What do you say to anchoring with Jimmy?"
"Wow, this is totally unexpected, Lorne. I-I�ve only been on camera like three times...Um, are you sure?" For the first time since he�d joined SNL, Jimmy saw Tina nervous and without her air of confidence. He loved the idea of the two of them working together; he�d learn so much from her. 'Plus, she�s pretty hot,' he thought. 'Oh God, why do I keep thinking this?'
"Tina, I have every confidence in you. And in you, Jimmy. So you�re both in?" Lorne asked.
Jimmy looked at Tina, could see her searching his eyes. Then her face broke into a huge grin. "Sure thing, Lorne. This is gonna work," she said.
Jimmy smiled back at her. "Yeah, it's gonna be great," he said, more to himself than to Lorne.
[Author's note: i know they had to like audition for the spot in real life, but this is fiction, so don't get all up in my grill for stretching the truth a teensy bit, or else i'll be like "OH SNAP!" and slap you in the ass!]
Chapter 4
When the cast officially went back to work at the end of August to prepare for the season premiere, Jimmy was excited and nervous at the prospect of spending more time with Tina. He honestly admired her for her talent, but he often found himself thinking about her in...other ways. On more than one occasion he had woken up sweaty and aroused after a dream featuring his new co-anchor in some provocative scenarios. He usually had trouble getting back to sleep afterwards, and was confused as to why he was suddenly thinking of Tina in this way.
As they worked together over the next few weeks, his affection for her grew. Every time she bent over him to use the computer he was sitting in front of, he'd sneak a whiff of her perfume. A couple times he even dropped a piece of paper just so he'd get to see her bend over and pick it up. Then he decided that Tina might not like him if she thought he was an ass-obsessed pervert, so he resisted.
Of course the sexiest thing about Tina was her humor. Jimmy had never encountered a more intelligent or funny female in his life. Not even his sister could compare to Tina when it came to pointing out others' faults and contorting them into jokes. She loved to rant about topics like President Clinton's suave demeanor or the amount of silicone on television. Jimmy found himself nearly crying from laughter when she went off on her tangents.
"So I�m thinking we have to talk about this Britney Spears thing from the MTV Awards for next week," Jimmy said, looking through the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly. "Damn, this chick is hot. Check out that ass!" Jimmy teased and pushed the picture in Tina�s face.
"Ahh! Stop it! I�m blinded by her sweet, juicy ass!" Tina yelled and ran around the room. "Don�t look directly at it, Jimmy! It�s like a solar eclipse!"
They both laughed for a few minutes, then decided that Tina should do a rant on Britney�s image for the season premiere. Jimmy went home that night feeling satisfied that he had helped Tina with such a funny bit. He smiled as he closed his eyes, hoping to dream about her again.
Chapter 4
"Grandmaster Rap, Kid Shazaam, and Eminem, everybody! I'm Jimmy Fallon!" Jimmy said with an excited smile on his face.
"And I�m Tina Fey! Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow!" Tina looked at Jimmy with a similar smile on her face, then grabbed his hand under the desk and said, "We�re set, baby!"
Jimmy gulped when he felt her squeeze his hand. Was there more to that smile and gesture? Or was he imagining the shine in her eyes was for him?
"You alright, Jim?" Tina said as soon as the cameras were off.
"Huh?" Jimmy was startled when Tina spoke. He was lost in his imagination. "Oh, yeah. I�m fine. I�m just so stoked that we did well!"
"Me too!" Tina exclaimed as they both stood. "C�mere." She wrapped him in a bear hug. He fumbled with his hands, desperately wanting to wander lower on her back, but not wanting to reveal his feelings so soon. He settled on her shoulder blades then exhaled with relief as she drew away.
"Okay, bud, I better let you get ready for your next sketch! This is gonna work, Jim! I�m so excited!" Tina�s smile remained on her face as Jimmy watched her walk off the set. Then he snapped into reality and ran off stage to his dressing room to change.
Chapter 6
Over the next two months, Jimmy was consumed by thoughts of Tina. He laughed at everything she said, amazed by how much humor could fit into such a petite woman. He couldn't get over how sexy those glasses were, either. He fantasized about her at writing meetings, undressed her in his mind, took her out to dinner in his dreams. She was a good friend to him, as they had grown closer from writing Weekend Update together. She had told him the origin of the scar on her face, and he had told her about Natasha. But his thoughts were always far from the washed-up model. He knew that he had to do something; he couldn�t keep drifting off when he was supposed to be working. He had to tell her his feelings.
"So we should do something Christmas-y this week, don't ya think?" Tina asked. She and Jimmy were preparing for the Lucy Liu episode coming up that week. "It's the last live show of the year, so we gotta do something cool." She crossed her legs and swiveled back and forth lazily in her chair.
Jimmy swallowed and turned away from the computer to look at her. "Well, we have Kattan doing Baby New Year already. You really think we need something else?" 'God, she's sexy. She's wearing a freaking t-shirt and sweat pants and I want to propose to her right now. Or jump her. Either one,' he thought and laughed a little too loud.
"What are you thinking, Fallon?" Tina said slyly.
"What? Oh, um...I was thinking that maybe..." Jimmy scrambled to find a cover. "Maybe I could do carols! Christmas carols!"
"Hmm. You mean like you used to do for Halloween and stuff?" She hesitated and Jimmy nodded eagerly.
"Yeah! I mean, I've done everything except for Christmas, and it would be so great to get out my guitar again. I swear I'll do a good job, Tina!" Jimmy leaned forward and grabbed her hands.
"Well...I just don�t know if you should go back to the Old Jimmy Fallon, you know? I mean, you're in the big time here, anchoring Update. You're not the-guy-who-does-carols anymore." She let go of his hands, but Jimmy didn�t notice.
"No, really, I think this will work." He stood up and paced the room. "I'll stay up tonight and figure them out, so it won't interfere with us writing news jokes. And, how about this? If I can't write three tonight, then I won't do it at all, 'cause I don't want Update to suffer on the joke end just 'cause I want to sing. Deal?" He smiled and extended his hand.
"Alright, Fallon. You�d better come through." Tina winked and shook his hand.
Chapter 7
"...Please be o-pen," Jimmy sang softly and slowly while figuring out the chords on his guitar. 'Okay, two down, one to go,' he thought. He sat back and tried to think of another song. He ran over some recent musical guests in his head, then it hit him. "Beautiful day...Christmas day...yes!" he exclaimed. He ran to his CD collection and put the song on repeat, determined to master the chords as lyrics ran through his head.
He was strumming and humming through the verse when his phone rang. He was too caught up in his thoughts to answer, so he let the machine get it.
"J-Money ain't in the hiz-ouse right niz-ow, so leave a miz-essage, biotch!" Jimmy cringed at his outgoing message, making a mental note to change it.
"Hey Jim, it's Tina. Just checking up on your progress. I think the carol thing is gonna work; sorry for doubting you. Well, just letting you know I was thinking of you! See you tomorrow."
"Holy shit," Jimmy muttered, staring at the machine. "She�s thinking of me. No way..." he trailed off, then turned back to his guitar. "It�s Christmas day, and I love Tina Fey..." He looked up and smiled, a plan forming in his head.
Chapter 8
"Here's our old friend, Jimmy Fallon," Tina said, and turned to Jimmy with a smile.
"Thanks for letting me do this, Tina," he said and returned the smile. "It�s Christmas time everybody, it�s the best time of the year. And it�s also the time you get really bad presents."
He took a deep breath and began his first carol. He was surprised that he didn�t make any mistakes, since his mind was wandering around his plan. He would tell her right now, on live television. He didn�t say it during dress rehearsal, he�d mumbled something else and pretended to screw up his chords, but this was the real thing.
"Got my Christmas party on," he sang. 'How did I get through that already?' he wondered. 'Here goes nothing.' He reached for his yellow Bono glasses and introduced his next carol. Still astonished he hadn�t messed up yet, despite Tina's giggles to his right, he threw down his guitar and ran toward the camera, giving his all into his Bono impression.
"Give me Pokemon and other things!" he screamed, trying to concentrate on the lyrics coming out of his mouth right then, instead of the five words that would come later.
"It�s Christmas day, Santa's on his way!" He turned back to the Update desk and climbed over. "Here is what I say, Christmas day." He swallowed hard. "And I love Tina Fey!" Impulsively, he leaned over and kissed her cheek, then laughed when he heard her squeal with delight. It was over. He strutted around the desk then jumped back over and shoved his face in the camera again while Tina closed the segment. The smile on his face was one of pure delight. Now it was her move.
Chapter 9
Jimmy didn�t see Tina for the rest of the show, because he was in some more sketches and she had to do some fixes on a bit that Will had consistently messed up in rehearsals. He searched for her during the goodbyes before he started his trademark jumping, but didn�t see her. 'Hm. Maybe she got stuck backstage,' he thought. He wandered around a little bit before heading outside to go to the after-party, but saw no sign of her.
He finally found her when he got to the party. She was perched on a stool trying to get the bartender�s attention. Jimmy sneaked up beside her and waved the bartender over. "One Long Island Iced Tea for the lady, and I�ll have a rum and coke." He winked at Tina when she nearly jumped out of her barstool. "Hey," he said softly.
"Jesus, Jimmy! You scared me! Thanks for the drink, though. How did you know that was my favorite?"
"Lucky guess," he replied, then slid some money across the bar as he accepted the drinks. "Let�s go sit somewhere." He took her hand and led her to an empty booth.
"Jimmy, what�s all this about? We�re all alone...Shouldn�t we be with the rest of the cast?" Tina said warily.
"But Tina, I wanted to spend the party with you. Didn�t you hear what I sang tonight?" Jimmy was bewildered that Tina didn�t understand.
"Yeah, you sang some carols. Jimmy, what on earth are you talking about?" She looked him directly in the eyes.
"W-what?!" he nearly yelled. "You didn�t understand?!"
"Jimmy, please tell me what this is about."
"Tina..." he trailed off. She didn�t get it. He had gone through all that to confess his feelings and she didn�t get it. "Tina," he whispered, "I told you I loved you." He looked down into his drink, then threw it back into his mouth, downing the entire glass in one swallow.
"Jimmy...oh my God...I thought it was a joke...I mean," she continued, the look on his face making it hard for her to find the right words. "I didn�t think you meant it like that."
"Well, I did." Suddenly, Jimmy found some confidence within himself. "Tina, I love you. I�ve loved you since we started working together. You�re smart, you�re funny, you�re the most perfect girl I�ve ever seen, and I completely fell for you. I thought you�d understand with the song tonight, but I guess it didn�t work out. But it�s true. I love Tina Fey." He reached for her hands across the table, but she pulled them away. He watched the meek smile on her face slowly fade into a look of nausea and she fled from the booth. She found Rachel and Maya on the dance floor, and Jimmy watched the girl of his dreams run into the bathroom with her friends. He went to the bar to order another drink.
Chapter 10
"Jim, come on, get in the cab."
"Kattan, leave me the fuck alone. I�m good; just give me my keys, dude," Jimmy slurred and leaned on Chris for support while stumbling to the curb.
"No. You aren�t good. You�re seriously fucked up and in no condition to drive. I�ll give you your keys tomorrow. Now get in." Chris tried to push Jimmy into the back seat, but Jimmy lost what little balance he had and tumbled to the sidewalk as the cab driver yelled an obscenity and drove off.
"Now look what you did! I have to drive now; good job, Kattan." Jimmy stood up and looked Chris in the eyes, his palms on his friend�s shoulders to brace himself. "Do you even know what I�ve been through tonight? I fucking told Tina that I�m completely in love with her, and she fucking ran into the bathroom. I made her fucking puke. Ha!" He spun around and looked up at the sky. "I made her puke! That is great! I gotta write that one down. You got a pen, man?"
"Look, Jim: I�ll hail another cab- look, here's one now- and I�ll go with you to make sure you make it to your bed. How does that sound?"
"That sounds fan-fucking-tastic Kattan. You are a true friend. Seriously man, I love you. I�m in love with you. I wanna make love on you. Let�s go!" He fell into the waiting taxi and Chris told the driver the address.
On the way through the city, Jimmy continued babbling about his lost love at the party, until his wavering attention was caught by a song on the radio.
"Listen to this, man," he said, nudging Chris. "Hey, turn up the volume, dude!" he yelled to the driver. Jimmy swayed his head to the music and sang along.
"I may not always love you, but as long as there are stars above you, you never need to doubt it- I�ll make you so sure about it," Jimmy wailed out the window. "God only knows what I�d be without you!"
"That�s nice, Jim. Look! We�re home!" Chris exclaimed with feigned excitement. He paid the driver and made sure to give him an extra-large tip.
"Seriously, Kattan- those Beach Boys knew what was up! God only knows how much I love that chick, man! God only fuckin� knows!" Jimmy continued muttering into the elevator. "'Cause if Tina knew, then I'd be taking her back to my place instead of you. You are pretty cute though, I must say," he deadpanned, then nearly collapsed in a fit of stoner giggles.
"Thanks, Jimmy. You're cute too. Now let's get you to bed."
Chris led Jimmy into the bedroom, where Jimmy immediately passed out, the tune still floating through his mind.
Chapter 11
Jimmy dreamt of Tina, as he often did, but this dream was different. He was back at the cast party, except everyone was in formal wear. Tina had a blue gown on, and he was wearing a tux. Jimmy looked down and realized he was drinking apple juice out of a champagne glass, like everyone else at the party. He saw Tina from across the room and yelled her name, but no sound came out. Rachel came running toward him, screaming, "Now the pahty can staht!" then she turned into a leopard and bounded out of the room. Will was wearing a Davy Jones wig and dancing the Macarena. To his left, he saw Kattan dressed as Mango giving Darrell a very enticing lap dance. Still he couldn�t reach Tina. Then a woman�s hand reached through the crowd and Jimmy grabbed it, holding on for dear life. He was pulled on top of everybody like he was crowd surfing, then he landed with a thud out on the sidewalk, naked. He heard a female voice calling his name from inside, so he covered himself and ran to the door, but it was locked.
Jimmy�s head shot up from the bed, then slammed back down on the pillow when he realized the enormity of his headache. He craned his neck, peering down his body, wondering why his hands were protecting his bulge. "What the hell was that dream about?" he mused aloud. Sitting up more cautiously than the last time, he looked around the room with slit eyes. He sniffed, and the odors of booze and cigarettes filled his nostrils. 'Man, I had a rough night last night.' His mind was filled with images of Tina: Her smile, the pressure of her hand squeezing his, the look on her face when he confessed his feelings. He started getting dizzy and rushed to the bathroom, where he heaved over the toilet for a few minutes. Then he downed two Advil, stripped his clothes and threw them in the direction of the hamper, then got into the shower.
Chapter 12
Dressed and ruffling his wet hair, Jimmy strolled into his living room to see the light on his answering machine blinking. He casually pressed the play button and started making some eggs in the kitchen.
"Morning, Rockstar. It�s Kattan. Give me a call when you wake up to let me know you�re alive. Peace out brutha!" Jimmy chuckled and listened for the next message.
"Hey loser, it�s your favorite sister. Get your hungover ass out of bed and call me." He scribbled "Call Glo" on a Post-It note, stuck it on the fridge and flipped his eggs over.
"Uh, hey Jimmy, it�s Tina." Jimmy froze, spatula in mid-air, then slowly spun around to face the machine. "I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted last night. You didn�t deserve it...I was a complete asshole. So, um...I�m really sorry, and I was wondering if you�d meet me outside the studio at 4 today, so we can go somewhere and talk. I�ll be there waiting, but I completely understand if you don�t want to see me. Bye."
He glanced at the clock on the stove. 3:45. He turned the burner off, grabbed his jacket, and ran out the door.
'No sign of her,' he thought as he peered down the sidewalk. 'She didn�t fucking show up. I can�t believe this; I�m such an idiot.' His watch told him it was 4:37, so he turned and headed back home.
Tears stung his eyes as he strode down the sidewalk, ignoring the people he bumped into and the teenage girl asking him, "Are you Jimmy Fallon?" He was determined not to cry on the streets of New York City, so he was about to burst when the elevator doors opened to his floor.
"Fuck," he said, fishing in his pocket. "I forgot my keys." He tried the doorknob on a whim and nearly jumped when it turned in his hand.
Chapter 13
His hand instinctively reached for the light switch when he opened the door, but he paused when he noticed the candles flickering all over his living room. "Hello?" he called, cautiously continuing into the room.
"Hey," a voice softly said from across the room.
Jimmy shrugged off his jacket and hung it on the rack by the door, still tiptoeing. "Who is that?" he muttered, then quickly turned when he heard footsteps bounding across the room.
"Holy shit! Tina?!" he exclaimed, laughing with disbelief and happiness.
"Surprise," she giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Tina...oh my god...what�s going on?" Jimmy was stunned, but managed to let his hands find the small of her back.
"Jimmy, I�m so sorry. I�m sorry about last night, and I�m sorry I tricked you this afternoon, but I wanted this to be special. Kattan helped me out- he had your keys from last night. I hear you were quite the party animal," she said with a wink.
"Yeah, I guess..." Jimmy trailed off, afraid to believe what he thought was happening.
"So Jimmy...guess what?"
"What, Tina?"
"I love you," she whispered, then pressed her lips to his.
Chapter 14
Jimmy could have sworn he was dreaming. He closed his eyes and leaned into Tina�s kiss, trying to remember exactly the way her lips tasted, how her hands felt as they roamed over his back, how fast his heart was beating. He feared he would wake up, that the candles would flicker out, and that he would be left with only a hazy memory.
Tina pulled away and smiled at the dumbfounded look on Jimmy�s face. "You are so cute!" she exclaimed and gave him more peck on the lips. "Here, I think we need to sit." She led him to the couch.
"Tina, I don�t even know what to say to you. I�m so happy, but then I�m pissed 'cause of your reaction, but then I tell myself to forgive that 'cause I just made out with you..." He grasped her hands and smiled. "Help me out here."
"Okay, Fallon. I have to admit, at first, you scared the shit out of me. I completely thought we were just good friends...really good friends. You�re so easy to talk to, and so funny, and so accidentally adorable-"
"Wait, what does that mean?" he giggled.
"It means you�re gorgeous but you totally don�t know it. Anyway, I was fine with us being friends; the possibility of having a crush on you never even crossed my mind. I�m so sorry for this, but I really did think that the song didn�t mean anything...I just thought you were being funny."
Jimmy looked down with embarrassment with the mention of his big plan. "Yeah, now that I think of it, that wasn�t the greatest way to express myself!"
"Don�t worry, sweetie, I already stole a tape of it and I�ve watched it at least 15 times," she grinned. "And then at the party...I didn�t know what to think. You completely caught me off guard. I didn�t expect it at all...and I didn�t want to hurt your feelings, but now I know that I did the worst possible thing: I ran away when you needed me." A tear slid down her cheek and Jimmy wiped it away with his finger then held her hands tighter. "So I was crying to Maya and Rachel in the bathroom when it hit me. I was confused not by your feelings, but by mine. I realized that all the qualities that I liked in you as a friend, I really loved you for. It just didn�t hit me until you said it." She sniffed and sat up a little straighter. "So, thank you, Jimmy."
"You don�t have to thank me for anything. I�m just so happy right now! I want to call everyone I know and tell them that I love Tina Fey!" He hugged her with all his might, then released her and gazed in her eyes. The sparkle was for him this time.
"What are you thinking, James?" Tina said slyly.
"I�m thinking�these candles are violating like all the fire codes in this building!" They both laughed. "And I�m thinking we should blow them out and head for the bedroom...?" He phrased it as a question, but he knew she�d agree. She took his hand and together they extinguished the candles, then she led him down the hall.
Chapter 15
Tina was already working on Jimmy�s shirt buttons by the time they made it down the hall. She tore off his shirt and took in a breath with her first sight of his body, then gently pushed him onto the bed. Jimmy couldn�t help but smile in between kisses. Everything seemed like a dream to him. How many times had he dreamt of Tina Fey ripping his shirt off? He kissed her lips with need and urgency, as if he feared waking up, then moved to her neck where he knew he�d leave marks. His hands mechanically moved up her shirt, which he then slid over her head.
"So...how...about...some...tunes, eh lovah?" Tina said, nearly breathless already, but still able to crack a joke. "Be right back," she whispered, then headed toward the stereo and started flipping through Jimmy�s CDs.
Jimmy leaned back on the bed, enjoying his first time seeing Tina half-naked, memorizing her body. 'Remember this, man,' he instructed himself. 'God only knows when you�ll wake up.' He had to keep telling himself it was real, but it was so hard to believe.
"What�s this one?" Tina held up a burned CD with no label.
"That? Oh um...that�s... Jimmy�s embarrassment was clear in his lack of words. "That�s...a mix I made...to give you someday." He mumbled and cringed when the synthesizers of Survivor�s "High On You" kicked in. [that�s an extremely cheesy 80s song, but I�d love for Jimmy to put it on a mix for me :) "I can�t stop thinkin' 'bout you, girl, I must be livin' in a fantasy world..."]
"Oh, Jimmy, this is so sweet!" She advanced the track and smiled when she recognized the opening notes of "Always" by Bon Jovi. She skipped ahead once more and playfully mouthed the words, "I wanna stand with you on a mountain, I wanna bathe with you in the sea..." then advanced again. "Oh my God...this is my favorite song..." she mumbled, then turned up the volume and pounced on Jimmy. He gladly nodded when she gazed into his eyes. He gulped as she reached down to undo his pants, then took charge and rolled her over onto the bed. "You�re so beautiful," he murmured. He kissed her with desire, not urgency, this time, conscious of the music in the background. The song had made him yearn for her in the past, but now he realized their true meaning.
I may not always love you
But as long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I�ll make you so sure about it
God only knows what I�d be without you
If you should ever leave me
Though live would still go on, believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me?
God only knows what I�d be without you...
Chapter 16
Jimmy slowly opened his eyes, delirious from pleasure. He looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember every touch, every sensation, every word from the night before, but his mind was buzzing with happiness. Tina sighed next to him and shifted; Jimmy rolled over and watched her sleep. Her lips were slightly open, and he smiled each time her chest rose with a breath. The fluttering of her eyelashes signaled her awakening, and Jimmy laughed when one of her eyes opened and she peered at him.
"What are you doing?"
"I�m watching you," Jimmy smiled.
You sound like DeNiro in 'Meet the Parents,'" she giggled and rolled over to face him. They both sighed. "Jimmy, I�ve never been happier than I am right now. I feel like this is where I belong."
"In my microscopic apartment naked on my dirty sheets listening to the Beach Boys?" Jimmy joked.
"Yes, exactly. Hey, guess what?" She nuzzled closer to him.
"What?"
"I love you."
"Whaddya know?! I love you too!" Jimmy laughed. "And I�m happy too. I�m so glad you came around." He winked. "So, what should we do today?"
"Jim, dear, we have to go to work. It�s Monday."
"We can at least go get a bagel or something beforehand though. It�ll be our first official date."
"You�re buying me a bagel with a shmear for our first date?!"
"Hey, I said bagel...that does NOT imply a shmear. Don�t be greedy."
"Shut up!" She pushed him back onto the bed and stole the top sheet to wrap around herself and strolled to the bathroom.
"Come on...you don�t have to hide anything from me!" Jimmy teased.
"Fallon, we slept together ONCE. A girl's gotta have a little mystery." With that, she started unwrapping her sheet sarong and slipped behind the bathroom door, then flung the sheet off into the bedroom with a seductive wink toward the naked man on the bed.
Jimmy gulped when he heard the shower start and thought for a moment. 'There is a naked woman in my shower right now. This hasn�t happened since my sister visited last year.' He shuddered, then walked toward the bathroom and silently opened the door.
"Hey beautiful," he murmured.
"Hey handsome. Care to join me?" Tina said, poking her head out from behind the curtain.
"I thought you�d never ask." He stepped in the shower and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her passionately, his hands wandering over her wet skin.
Tina pulled away suddenly, and locked her eyes with Jimmy�s. He gulped as she slowly knelt down. He watched the water cascade onto her head and his knuckles whitened as he gripped the faucet tighter.
Chapter 17
Jimmy and Tina took their time getting their breakfast; they didn�t have to be at work early because there wasn�t a live show that week. At the small round caf� table, Jimmy finally got the chance to tell Tina about how he realized his feelings for her.
"Well, I guess it started with the glasses...they just did it for me," he joked. "But then I started having...uh...dreams about you," he blushed. "And that made me realize that it wasn�t quite normal to think about one girl that much!"
Tina wiped a glob of cream cheese off Jimmy�s lip and he blushed even deeper. "Dreams, huh? Maybe we can act some of those out later..." she said while seductively taking off her glasses and biting the tip.
"That could work," Jimmy gulped [he gulps an awful lot! Ah well, Tina�s just that sexy] and took several lengthy swallows of his Snapple, which caused Tina to laugh so loud that the two drew looks from the other bagel-consumers.
Jimmy shushed her in between giggles. "People are staring!" he whispered.
"Ah, let �em stare, Jimbo! I love you!" Tina said and leaned over the table for a kiss.
"Um, are you guys going out or something? �Cause if you were, um, that would kinda, like suck, for like all girls in America plus me �cause I�m like totally in love with you Jimmy and I�m in this online club devoted to you and I made a website and everything and I would just kind of be upset if I found out that you guys were together and..." Jimmy and Tina looked up to see a 15-year-old girl nearly hyperventilating with tears ready to spill from her doe-like brown eyes any second.
They looked back at one another. Neither knew what to say. Were they ready to announce their relationship? Shouldn�t they at least tell Lorne and the cast first?
"I-I, um...my name isn�t Jimmy, you must have the wrong person," Jimmy stammered.
"You�re not Jimmy Fallon from Saturday Night Live?" the girl whimpered.
"Nope, but I get that all the time!" He said with a huge, fake smile. "So, thanks for the compliment, I guess!"
The girl turned to Tina. "And you�re not that Tina girl that does Weekend Update with him?"
"Nope, sorry!" Tina exclaimed, a little more high-pitched than she wanted to.
"Oh...ok...sorry for bothering you, I guess..." the girl muttered and returned to her table where she commenced in relating the story to her bored mother.
"Holy shit..." Jimmy murmured. "That was close."
"Yeah, let�s get out of here. We need to tell Lorne about us before any more 15 year olds find us making out or something." They gathered their things and headed to the studio.
Chapter 18
"Hey guys, wait up!" Rachel called to Jimmy and Tina as they rushed into the studio.
"Oh, hey Rach," Tina said, slightly out of breath.
"Um, why are you guys walking so fast?" Rachel struggled to keep up as they entered the lobby and crossed to the elevator.
"We...uh..." Tina looked at Jimmy for help.
"We have a meeting with Lorne...about Update...yeah," Jimmy stammered and looked sideways at Tina. At that moment, all three glanced down and realized that Tina and Jimmy were holding hands.
"Wait, what�s going on with the hands, guys? Oh my God! Did you guys get together? Tina, why didn�t you tell me?! You ran out of the bathroom on Saturday without telling us anything!" Rachel exclaimed.
The elevator slowly rose and Tina smiled at Jimmy. "Yep, Rach. I guess you�re the first to find out. We�re...uh...what are we, Jim?"
"We�re...together? Dating? Wait, we haven�t been on a date yet...um...Sleeping together?" Jimmy joked. "No, we�ve only done that once..."
"Watch yourself, Fallon," Tina said and jabbed him in the arm. "Remember, a girl�s gotta have her mystery."
"Well then, Miss Fey, what are we?" Jimmy taunted as Rachel continued to look on eagerly.
"We�re...in love." Tina beamed and Jimmy met her smile with a kiss.
"Aww!" Rachel cooed [a la Karis Pie]. "You guys are too perfect to each other! This is so great!" She enveloped the couple in a hug as the elevator doors opened to the 8th floor.
"Elevator orgy! Can I join in?" Kattan yelled and sprinted toward the elevator. They all cracked up and Chris noticed Jimmy�s arms around Tina. "Jim? You...uh...okay? You...um...never called me back on Sunday," Chris stammered, trying to ignore their embrace.
"Uh, yeah I�m fine, Kattan. Thanks. I couldn�t return your call �cause I was...busy with other projects," he said and winked at Tina.
"No way man..."
"Yup. We�re deeply and passionately in love," Jimmy said and Tina giggled.
"And I�m nauseous. But also stoked. Congrats, guys," Chris said.
"You guys are too cute!" Rachel seemed about to burst. "One more hug!" They all "aww"ed together.
"Aww!" another voice piped in from down the hall. "Guys? What�s all this �aww�ing about?"
"Seth! Come join the hug!" Kattan said.
"Great! I love hug orgies!"
"A little awkward guys, a little awkward," Jimmy said from inside the hug.
"Yeah, it�s a little hard to breathe in here," Tina gasped.
"Okay...and release," Chris said.
"So what�s the deal, kids?" Seth asked.
"Jimmy and Tina are lovahs," Rachel answered.
"Jimmy and Tina, sittin in a tree..." Chris sing-songed and skipped around the group.
"No way guys! That is awesome! Way to go, Jim; she�s quite the lookah," Seth said with a nudge to Jimmy�s arm.
"Trust me, I know," Jimmy said and smiled at Tina.
"God, stop being so damn cute!" Rachel said. They all began asking Jimmy and Tina questions, most of which were hard for them to answer, as they had only been together for about 20 hours. Their happy chatter was interrupted when they all felt a presence behind their backs.
"What�s going on here?" Lorne said with a stern look on his face.
Chapter 19
All the smiling faces simultaneously dropped to somber expressions as the group turned around to face their boss.
"Hi, Lorne...um...Jimmy and I were actually looking for you," Tina stammered.
"Oh really? You two have something to talk to me about?" Lorne crossed his arms over his chest.
"Yes...um...sir," Jimmy gulped.
"Okay, would you like to step into my office, or is this a public matter?"
"Well, I guess we could just do it out here, I mean, everybody else�" Jimmy began, but was interrupted by Tina.
"Me and Jimmy are in love but it�s only since about yesterday so please don�t think we were trying to keep it from you or anything and Rachel was the first one to know and that�s only because she was in the elevator with us and then we saw Kattan so we had to tell him and we honestly were going to tell you before anybody else but they were all just so happy and-"
"Tina, that�s enough."
"Oh, um...sorry...I�m a little...nervous, I guess." Tina reached for Jimmy�s hand for support and he squeezed it.
"So you two are 'in love'? Interesting," Lorne said, still with a serious expression on his face.
"Yes we are," Jimmy replied, standing up a little straighter. "And we wanted you to know. We won�t let it affect our work, we promise. Right, Tina?"
"Right," Tina said.
"This is a complete surprise," Lorne started pacing in front of the group. "I don�t really know how you two expect me to react." He stood for a while with his back to the nervous couple, and they watched his shoulders heave up and down with a heavy sigh. "Okay, that�s enough of that." He turned around, and everyone exhaled with relief when they saw the smile on his face. "Congratulations!" he exclaimed and moved toward his Update anchors to wrap them in a hug.
"Jesus, Lorne, I thought we were fired!" Jimmy said.
"Oh come on, you two. You don�t produce a comedy show for twenty-odd years and not learn how to screw around with your cast," he laughed. "I actually knew before the two of you were even in the building." He continued when everyone shot him questioning looks. "Turns out the two of you were witnessed by the daughter of one of our boom operators getting a little cozy over some bagels this morning. She whined to her father to make him come up and ask me personally. I figured it was true, and was actually on my way to ask you two for the truth. I couldn�t be happier, and I can tell that you can�t either!"
"Wow, thanks Lorne! You had us so scared!" Tina exclaimed with a huge grin on her face.
"You know I wouldn�t get rid of you, Tina; you breathed a new life to this show," Lorne said sincerely. "This one on the other hand..." He ruffled Jimmy�s hair. "Okay, that�s enough fun stuff for today. Let�s get down to business, folks." Lorne shook Jimmy�s hand and whispered, "Way to go, Jim," in his ear before continuing down the hall to his office.
"Okay guys, brainstorm meeting in ten," Tina said. "Let�s get cracking."
"You got it, boss," Jimmy said with a wink. He gave Tina a quick kiss before heading down the hall.
Chapter 20
Jimmy and Tina remained blissfully happy and nauseatingly in love for the rest of the season. Over the summer hiatus, they did the standard meet-the-parents trips to upstate New York and Pennsylvania, and everything went smoothly, except Jimmy choking on an ice cube and Tina�s parents� house- Tina did the Heimlich and no injuries were reported.
Lying in bed with his arms around the girl of his dreams, Jimmy sighed. It was August, almost time for the season to start up again. This time last year, he was struggling to find an identity on SNL and dealing with a drug-addict pseudo-girlfriend. Now he was co-star of the most popular segment on the show and dating the head writer. He laughed out loud at his luck and Tina raised her head from where it lay on his chest.
"What are you giggling about, Fallon?"
He kissed her forehead. "Nothing. I�m just the luckiest guy alive, that�s all."
"Yeah, I know. I have that affect on people," she joked and snuggled back into his chest.
"Hey, guess what?"
"What?" she murmured.
"I love you."
"I love you too, you big idiot."
"Smart-ass," Jimmy muttered.
"Watch yourself, Fallon. No more lovin� for you tonight!" she giggled and rolled over to the other side of the bed.
"I don�t know if I could take anymore! You wore me out already!" He closed his eyes, pretending to be passed out from exhaustion.
"Hey! No fair! I�m the woman- I�m supposed to be the Sex Nazi!"
"Get over here," he said and pulled her close to him. He stared into her eyes and suddenly a lump rose in his throat. He tried to cough to hide the fact that he was crying.
"Jimmy, oh my God. What�s wrong?" Tina said urgently, gently wiping a tear from his cheek.
"It�s just...I was thinking..." He looked back at her and the need in her eyes told him to just get it out. "I was thinking about...Natasha."
"Oh," she muttered. "But you haven�t mentioned her in months. I thought you�d gotten past her."
He had felt Tina's body tense up at the mention of Natasha's name. "Oh no, Tina, believe me. I am way past her. I have you, and you�re all I need." He kissed her, then pulled away. "I was just thinking about what was going on this time last year. Natasha had control over my life, I wasn�t sleeping, I was nervous about the show...then you came."
"I came? Jimmy, I�d known you for like two years before that! I don�t get it."
"Well, that�s when we started working together. This is the anniversary of when I started falling for you." He smiled. "I guess I�m crying �cause I�m so happy. You just make my life so much better, and I can�t believe I ever survived without you."
"Jimmy, you know you do the same for me. I�ve never been happier in my life. I�m so glad that you told me how you felt; who knows if I would have realized it myself." Now Tina was nearly crying. "Look at us; we�re a couple of big emotional idiots. I know what to do." She got up from the bed and went toward the stereo. Jimmy watched her select a CD then push play, and she headed back to bed. He enveloped her in his arms and they fell asleep to their song.
