Chapter 11
Being at the studios was hell. I couldn't figure out whether or not Jim told Chris because when I arrived they had been talking. It didn't seem like Chris was interested, I guess. Getting depressed. Have to snap out of it before I go on for my line in a tinsy skit. The entire time everyone rehearsed, I sat on the 'sidelines' wishing I had something to rehearse. That's when I noticed Lorne walking up to me. I instantly got nervous.
"We're in a bit of trouble here, Cathy..."
"Cat," I corrected him. If I wanted to be more comfortable here, I would have to ask everyone to call my by my comfortable nickname.
He smiled. "Cat." He corrected himself. "Rachel was supposed to do this new recurring sketch we've thought of, but now there's been a bit of delay. She played one of the main parts. Maybe you'd like to take the script backstage or in your dressing room and try to memorize it?"
It hit me like a wave. It felt like I was in one of those TV shows where the person who wanted the part most didnt get it, and then the person who played Juliet gets sick, and they ask her to replace her, and -- "Sure, I'd love to," I grinned without thinking.
"You sure you can do it? This has gotta be memorized before tomorrow...?" He said, putting even more pressure on me. "'Cause if you can't that's perfectly alright. Remember: if you do it this one time, and the audience likes it, you become the character."
I tried to say something but nothing came out, so instead I nodded. He grinned. "Great work," He handed me the script and I went backstage to read it and figure out who I was being and how I was to act. The script was about a dysfunctional family. The daughter -- whom I am playing -- is goth, and hates her parents, who are perfect. The parents are played by Chris P and Mya. So, the daughter brings friends over every day for dinner. The friends are usually played by the host. Just as I began memorizing, I heard a knock at the door. I put the script down and walked to the door, opening it.
"Hey, Cathy." Oh my gosh.
Chapter 12
"Oh, hey." My hands shook. I wondered if he noticed. "Whatsup?"
He smiled. "Can I come in?" He asked, throwing the most flirtacious look I've ever seen. If you haven't guessed by now, it was my precious, precious Sex God. The Sex God Has Landed!!
"Sure, Chris, have a seat. I was just going over the script Lorne just gave me." I grinned, thanking God I looked decent today.
"Really, can I see it?" he asked as I handed it to him. I nodded. He skimmed through it, laughing at some of the lines. I smiled to myself. Gosh, stay calm. "That's great," He paused. "Look, um, Jimmy was talking to me earlier, and he said uh.." OH - MY - GOD! I'm going to kill Jimmy! He said he wouldn't tell anyone. He said he would just... "... he said you were a big fan of Mango."
My heart leaped out of my chest. "Yeah, I am." I was going to die.
"Look, I know that you're busy tomorrow night, so I just wanna know if you want to do something Sunday? I mean, I dunno the policy on cast members" he paused, "dating, so maybe we should keep it a bit quiet. Not tell anybody?"
I almost said "Oh, God, YES!" then, I almost said "I would love to," but I ended up saying, "Sure." Pathetic. Oh, God Almighty.
"Can I get your number?" he grinned.
"Yeah, of course," I ran to my dresser and picked up a pen, then tore a slip of the paper from the script. Writing: Cat 443-6091 and underlining it. ( AUTHORS NOTE : That's not a real number, i'm just making it up. Don't bother dialing. Lol Plus, I'm sure none of you guys have the time to. Or want to. lol)
As he left, I felt myself beam. Wait 'till the girls hear about this! And Jimmy! Wait, should I tell Jim? I mean, he did say let's not tell anyone, cuz Jim might let something slip and. Okay. Am not going to tell Jim. Tell girls, not Jimmy. Girls: Yes. Jim : No. Girls Good. Jim Bad. After I brainwashed myself, I went back to rehearsing, silently having a party.
Chapter 13
The rehearsal went completely smoothly. Lorne told me he was proud of me! I am 'da bomb', yoyo! Hee hee. After rehearsal was over -- and I said every line perfectly -- I went back to my dressing room, feeling like a queen. I sat on my chair in front of my mirror and looked at myself for a second. Gosh, I'm ugly. How could anyone think I'm even in the slightest bit pretty? That's when I heard a knock from Jim's door. "Come in," I muttered, hoping he could cheer me up. Uh oh. bad sign: mood swings. Must be the painters' fault. (painters = period) When Jimmy came in, I couldn't help but smile. Chris asked me out because of him! I couldn't wait to thank him -- wait, I can't tell him. Damn. What do I say? "Hey," That's a good start.
"Hey, awesome job with the whole rehearsal thing, you did great." He said, smiling without showing his teeth.
"Thanks," I smiled back. "But I know that's not what you came here to say..."
"Did he ask you?"
I thought quickly. "No?" I posed it as a question. He raised an eyebrow. "No." I said more sure of myself this time. "No. What did you say to him?"
"I just told him you were really pretty and that if I had the chance, I would ask you out," he said. "That makes a guy competitive, so he usually would end up going after you. I wonder why he didn't?" Then, he gasped.
I blushed. "What?"
"What if he IS gay?" he smirked.
"Shut up,"
"Seriously. He didn't ask you out, he totally should have!" he said as if it all clicked in.
"Kattan is not gay."
"Yes, yes, he is! Did he even talk to you today?" he raised his eyebrows in an 'I-knew-it' way.
"No..." I lied through my teeth. He nodded, sitting down.
"That explains it." He said factually, snapping his fingers.
"Why didn't he ask you out?" I asked. He looked at me. I sat down beside him and said, "I mean, your gay too, don't gay people notice when other people are gay?" I burst out laughing and he did too. I was feeling better already. I wish I didn't have to lie to him. He's done so much.
Chapter 14
Ugh, phone ringing. "Don't worry, Audj. you don't have to get off your ass and pick it up." I screamed, getting out of bed. I knew Audra was the only one up, the other girls were still sleeping. We had an emergency meeting for the sake of what I would say, wear, and do with Chris. Still ringing. I ran to it. "Hello?" I asked groggily.
"Woah, you alright?" I heard Chris' voice laugh. It was Saturday! Oh, shit! I need to get ready for rehearsal!
"Yeah," I muttered. My answer was far from the truth. "Can you hold on a sec?" I asked. He answered with 'Sure', and I put my hand over the reciever. "Audra,"
"Yeah?" she answered.
"Were we drinking last night?" I asked, rubbing my head to soothe the headache.
"No.." she said.
"Ok, thanks." I heard a 'No Prob, Bob'. "Sorry 'bout that." I said to Chris. "Whatsup?"
"Nothing much, just wanted to know if it's alright with me picking you up on Sunday?" he said in an unsure voice. Sunday? I scanned my thoughts for what I was doing on Sunday, trying to think without hearing the pounding of my head. oh my gosh. I'm talking to Chris Kattan. I snapped myself into reality, trying to gain control.
"Sunday!" I stuttered. My hands shook.. what the hell do I say? "Sure," I said, cheerfully. Wait, what did I just say 'sure' for? What'd he just ask??
"Alright, I'll pick you up at.. lets say, 8:00?" he said, kinda unsure. 8:00? Him pick me up? Everything clicked at that point, and I finally was fully awake.
"Eight o'clock it is, then," I said. God, I'm such a dork. He laughed on the other line.
"Alright, see you tonight!"
"Bye.." I hung up, then smacked myself directly onto the cheek. I didn't say anything but a loud "OW!!!", then looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a red hand print on my face. "Way to go, Cat. Way to go."
Chapter 15
Ah, the sound of laughter as Will Ferrel does the opening. God, I'm nervous. My skit isn't until the other half of the show. Then again, I have reason to be nervous... it's my first serious skit. And I totally love the outfit they gave me, though I didn't picture it so goth when I was reading the skit. "Cat?"
I turned around to find Chris P smiling at me. "Oh, hi!"
"Hey," he grinned. "Look, I just wanted to say good luck, and don't be nervous... or, am I supposed to say Break A Leg? Hold on, lemme go back and ask Darrell.." I laughed as he turned around and walked back. I waited, only to find Chris walking back with Darrell. "Ok. I was supposed to say, 'Being nervous gives you adrenaline, which makes you perform better, so good luck, and break a leg!"
I laughed. "Thanks, guys. Umm... I think I'm going to throw up, so if you'll excuse me.." I said, trying to push through them in a joking manner. They laughed and waved as I walked into the ladies' washroom. (Yes, I call it washroom. I'm Canadian..) I stared at myself in the mirror as a toilet flushed. I tried fixing my hair, but it was an impossible task. Behind me, I saw Ana walking out of a stall.
"Hi, Cathy, right?" she smiled.
"Yeah, or Cat, whichever." I smiled back.
"So, we got you in the show tonight, didn't we?" she grinned, washing her hands. "I'm so happy to see that you are in it, it's really great when the newcomers get into a skit early." I nodded as she talked. "How are ya feeling?"
"Extremely nervous. Like you wouldn't believe. My knees were all wobbly backstage. I think I'm gonna barf." I said, clutching my stomache.
She laughed. "Don't worry about that, it usually helps." she said, gesturing with her hands. "How's everyone been treating you? Nice, I hope."
"Yeah, yeah. Everyone is great, its just as how I saw it on the TV... only just more comedy backstage than I expected." I smiled.
"Yeah, Horatio and the others love to play around with the costumes." she laughed, then stared at her watch. "Oh, geez, I better get going, I'm sorry."
"Oh, no problem. See ya!" I waved as she smiled and walked out the door. I stared at myself again and emptied my lunch into the toilet.
Chapter 16
"Great job, Cat!" I heard from everyone around. I was beaming, though I accidently slipped on one of my lines, something anyone could do. Mya and Chris were great, too. I muttered a thanks and threw a smile at everyone. Oh, and the audience laughed!! I can't describe what that felt like, though I'm sure it would have felt better if I had written it. I hopped to my room, giddy. I closed the door and knocked on Jim's.
"Hey," he smiled. I hugged him tightly. "Hey..." he and I laughed. I walked into his room without asking. Then laughed at myself. It was then that I noticed he was changing.
"Oh, gosh, I'm sorry," I said, heading for the door.
"Nono, you can stay," he laughed. "So, how'd you do?"
"I am so excited.. it is so fun to make people laugh!" I said staring at Jimmy's ceiling as I laid down on his couch. "This has been a fantastic day." I sighed. "The only thing that could make it better is getting laid. You busy tonight, Jimmy?" I joked. He laughed as I pulled my feet off his couch for him to sit down. "Geez, I wish I could do it all over again. It seems like it happened so quickly," I sighed again. "I need a life." He started laughing.
"I'm about to go out there and do Weekend Update, how do I look?" he asked. I burst out laughing. "What?"
"You sound like those stereotypical girls who are like 'Does this make me look fat?'!" he chuckled slightly, and I knew that meant he wanted to know if he looked alright. "Yes, you look like a total hottie, now go out there and make 'em laugh!" I poked him.
"Hey, you busy tomorrow night?" he asked. The question caught me off guard.
"Uh, yeah, actually I am. I'm sorry," I said politely.
It seemed like he expected the answer. So he looked down at me and said, "No problem, next time. See, I don't have anyone to go to the movies with anymore." he made a sad face.
"Aww.. hmm.. how about next week?" I suggested brightly.
"Alright, we'll see. Shit, I gotta get going. See ya! Wish me luck," he smiled.
"Good luck, Jim." I patted his back and waved.
Chapter 17
Waxed my legs, tweezed my eyebrows, did my make-up and hair, and even got myself a manicure and pedicure. Yes, all of this for my lil' baby, Chris. I sighed to myself as I glanced at the clock. It was exactly 8:00 P.M., and I was nervous. I knew at this point I'd be counting the minutes go by, as I wait for him to stand me up. But five minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. My heart pounded. I got up quickly. Wait! Make him wait awhile. Nono, don't. He'll think he came to early and then he'll be embarassed. Oh gosh, don't hesitate now, or you'll hesitate all night. I opened the door. "Hi," I felt myself melt into the floor. Flowers? They were white roses, for friendship. I read somewhere you should neer give a woman red roses on the first date unless it was true love. "These are for you," he grinned.
"Aww.. thank you so much. Gosh, you look hot!" I laughed as I took the flowers he gave me and put them into a vase with water in it.
"Alright, shall we go?" he extended his arm for me to link with.
"We shall," I smiled. He chuckled. Oh, geez, don't let me trip. He was real sweet. He opened the car door for me, and I sat down with the posture I had always been taught. The car ride was endless conversation. All I had to do was tell him the truth. When he told me I looked great, I told him how nervous I was.. and yes, I even told him about how long I had a crush on him. I didn't need to sugar-coat anything. The entire dinner was fantastic. The food was a bit on the weird side, but I didn't mind. We did more talking than eating. On the ride home we discussed SNL, which was something we surprisingly didn't talk about. I told him how much I love everyone of the skits he does. Mango, Peepers, Zimmermans, Suel Forrester.
"Oh, you like Forrester?" he smiled. "I haven't done that one in awhile, I heard people didn't like it."
"Oh, I totally love it." I said, as we arrived at my house and he pulled into the driveway.
Then, he said something in his Suel Forrester voice that sounded a bit like, "CanIfukeryouwhore?" My eyes widened.
"Huh?"
He laughed. "Can-I-Walk-You-To-Your-Door?" I burst out laughing.
"Sorry, I could've sworn you said I was a whore.." he laughed. "Sure," I smiled. He got out of the car and walked to the door in his Suel Forrester walk, and I couldn't help but burst out laughing. "We should do this again," I suggested. "It was a lot of fun,"
Then, he smiled and said something like, "Kennyisyou?" I raised an eyebrow as I fumbled for my keys.
"Sorry, that's impossible to understand," I laughed.
"Can I kiss you?" he said seriously. I nodded. That's ri-ight! We kissed on the first date. There was no tongue or anything. Just a lingering-lip kiss. And it was fantastic! I had made sure to not where high heels, so I wouldn't look taller. So, we just had to lean in. And-believe it or not, after waiting five years-I didn't feel a spark. Maybe there was one, or maybe I forced it there.
Chapter 18
Chris and I went on another date the Sunday afterwards... when I was supposed to go with Jimmy to the theater. It seemed like Jim forgot about it, so I shrugged it off and didn't bring it up. Over the next month, Chris and I went on dates regularly. By the second month, we were into making out... and yes, by the third month, we were having sex. Don't sit there and gasp saying, "What a slut!" or "You're supposed to wait!" because I stopped waiting when I was 18. And even though I usually don't 'do the deed' unless the special someone loves me, but... I mean, this was Chris Kattan. Still through it all, though it was a whole lot of fun, everytime we kissed, I knew we wouldn't end up 'together forever' -- which depressed me. We were perfect for each other... but why wasn't I completely sure of it? I wasn't in love with him, this I was sure of... but now, it felt like it was my responsibility to still date him. It was as if because I crushed on him for so long, if I didn't like it, I would seem ungrateful. You have no clue what I'm talking about, do you?
"Catherine Ferry, are you listening?" Jimmy said as he laughed.
I snapped myself out of it. "Yeah. Yeah, uh... so, when will we do it?"
"In next weeks episode, when Lisa Kudrow hosts..." he said, obviously confused by my zoning out. "You okay?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I am." I grinned at him. He is cute. "Hey, we haven't gone to see a movie yet..." I suggested. Oh, God. What the hell am I doing?
"Hey, that's right... wanna go tomorrow?" He shrugged. Tomorrow? Friday?
"Sure," I shrugged back casually. Good.. Chris will be busy Friday, and our date isn't until Sunday. "What will we see?" I paused.
"Mummy 2?"
"Seen it." I answered. "It wasn't scary, it was funny." I giggled. We were hanging out in my room like we did everyweek. We were getting into the habit of just asking each other questions. Favourite colours (sorry 'bout the u's.. I'm Canadian.. lol), numbers, food. It was weird. "Why don't we see The Animal? Y'know, with Rob Schneider? Or A Knight's Tale? Heath Ledger is a total cutie!!" I exclaimed.
He burst out laughing. "Oh, I know! And have you seen Rob Schneider? Break me off a piece of that!" He said in a fake gay voice. I laughed. "Whatever you wanna see is fine with me. Who knows? Maybe we won't even be watching the movie..." He flirted. I laughed.
"Its really too bad you're gay... I'd screw you in a second.." I joked. We laughed.
Chapter 19
I dressed normally for the occasion. I didn't need to wax my legs or tweeze my eyebrows, because I was already fine from my last date with Chris.. and also because this was Jimmy. I wasn't going to be taking off my clothes. The doorbell rang. I was already ready, but Jim was half an hour early. I opened the door to find Flora with her baby niece and baby bags in her hand. "Oh no, no no no!" I said, about to close the door when she said.
"Please, Kitty?"she begged. I was supposed to babysit Megan tonight, but then I remembered I had an appointment.. Where the hell are you going?"
"Out with Jimmy, we're gonna go see a movie. Hi Megan!" I touched her baby soft face and she giggled. She was about 6 months old.
She handed the baby to me and dropped the bags on the front door mat. "You broke up with Chris? Oh my God! You're kidding me!! So now you're going out with 'he-smells-good' Jimmy? When did you guys break up! This is a total crisis! How come you didn't call me? Are you fucking crazy?" she freaked.
"Jimmy and I are not dating, Flor'. We're just gonna see a movie. I mean, you and I see movies all the time. That doesn't mean we're dating. Jim and I are just friends." I explained. "And he's gonna be here in 20 minutes, so I can't. Get Audj or Fawn to do it."
"My appointment is only an hour and a half, besides Fawn was on a date and Audj wasn't home when I called. Please? You're my only hope." The baby started crying.
"Oh, God, you are gonna die. You owe me so bad." I said picking up the baby and soothing her. She kissed my cheek.
"I know, thanks sooo much." she laughed. "Oh, geez." She stared at her watch. "I better get going. I'll call before I get here."
"What am I supposed to do about my date?" I choked.
"Date?" she giggled. "Just call him and cancel," she shrugged.
"I've been canceling for the past three months, Flor'!!" I raised my voice.
"Let him come over for a little while. Get it on, by the time you finish I'll be back!" she laughed and left out the door. "Toodles!" she called.
Chapter 20
In the end, Megan kept me busy, and I never got a chance to call Jim. He ended up at my door, 15 minutes later. I opened it with Megan in the other hand. He looked at me, then at Megan. Then looked at us again. There was a comfortable silence.
"Did I miss something?"
"Come in, " I laughed, Megan burst out crying. I sat on the couch, trying to comfort her.
"Did you get pregnant and have a baby in the last 4 hours?" Jimmy asked. He took a finger and brushed it across Megan's cheek. She instantly stopped.
"Flora had an appointment, and she forgot that she had to babysit her sisters daughter. Thus, this lil 'bundle of joy'.." As I said it, she started to cry again. "I'm really sorry, Jimmy. if you want you can go see the movie alone... I couldn't turn it down. Or, if you wanna stay here, we can see a later one. Her appointment is supposedly an hour and a half."
"Alright, then. So, whats her name?" he smiled at her red face.
"Megan, the little bitch.. everytime you look at her she stops crying." I finally decided to hand her over. The baby stopped crying.
"She's light.." he said.
I said, "Another reason to hate her," he laughed. I had already fed and burped her, so gradually, she was beginning to fall asleep, especially in Jimmy's arms. "Damn, she loves you..." We were quiet for a second, and the thoughts of being a baby ran through my head... you could be care-free. Don't worry about your job, your friends... you could even shit your pants! Soon, I was wishing I was in Jimmy's arms as a little baby, and he would rock me to sleep. And everytime I cried, he'd be there to feed me, care for me, change my diaper. He would love me.
We put her to sleep in the carry crib Flora brought over, and we started to watch The ladies Man (I had bought the movie), my head on his lap, his feet up on the table in front of us. Well, we didn't really watch it, we just kinda talked.. asking each other questions.
"If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?" My question.
He thought for what seemed like hours. Then, looked down at me and said, "To kiss you."
