Mom's AA Chico: alcoholics anonymous website. Helping me stay sober thru online "sharing"... It's been a very long time since I went to MOM's AA in Chico because I live in Eureka Now... I want to be updated to a new location if you have moved...
Visitor Input is greatly appreciated... email me personally at [email protected]
send pictures, stories, shares, poetry, lyrics... or use the guestbook...
Please Sign Guestbook
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Response to guestbook: 10/19/2008. Thanks for all the entries... So,
I'm greg and I'm an alcoholic... I live in Eureka Now... Clean, Sober, working, living indoors with a fine lady... gee, life is good!
Marsha wrote: Hi Greg,I am a greatful member of Al-anon. I dont know what I would do without this program!!! My brother is an active alcololic, and I have several friends that are in recovery thanks to Bill W. and all of us who carry the message. I often attend AA meet...
It's good that the people that are friends of alcoholics have a club that they can join to meet and help others in their same situation... Keep coming back to your meetings as long as they are useful... I don't go to meetings very often but the ideas have become a permanent part of my global view... And... I get to survive long enough to practice what I have learned...
Brandon wrote: im an alcoholic. Alcohol is terring up my life. Especialy for my feance and child to be. I have stoped for the most part but still have the erge to have the occasional drink. I hope talking about it will help.
It appears that Brandon has taken the first step... grasping the concept that he is in trouble and that action is needed. My personal opinion is that it is not possible to enjoy the occasional drink... You may be different but in general, we can't drink a little... some people can but not me... so, stop it... easy to say but so very difficult to do... I went in and out of the program for a year... stopping, starting, stopping, starting... eventually all I had to do was stop one more time than I started... now I'm grateful to just be alive... Yesterday I saw a client of mine from the welfare office who was walking down the street with another lady and some children towards the zoo. I waved as we drove by and she said that she was living the "Cornerstones" lifestyle... That's a great way to live... we met when she was applying for General Relif and wanted the county to pay the rent at a clean and sober home... She had just gotten out of rehab and needed help to stay off the stuff... here we are six months later and she is having a good time... My experience is to be glad for any moment... My drinking was getting too near to death... So, going to the zoo may not be "exciting" but it is fufilling... someone should be taking those children to the zoo and my client was doing something worthwhile with her time on earth.
Kate wrote: Im terrified. I dont want to be an alcoholic but am drinking more and experiencing problems in my family. Theres no history of the disease in my birth family. I dont want to never be able to drink again -- but.... Im at a crossroad.
If you are one of us, you will never be able to drink again... We can't make that choice for you... However, it may be that you have to "hit bottom" before you have had enough. My experience was that I drank for years and years without any problems and then more and more trouble started happening... I noticed that there was a trend in my life... then when I finally stopped drinking the troubles stopped happening... PAY ATTENTION and see if there are drinking related troubles... Maybe you are an alcoholic... maube you have to go thru hell on earth by drinking yourself into addiction... OR, it's possible to not go thru the jail, firings at work, and car wrecks that come with lifelong drinking... we don't select how far down into the bottle you go... Personally, I recommend NOT becoming a homeless person... I recommend NOT getting into fights... NOT going to jail...
I believe one thing about alcoholism and the AA program... I actually survived until today because I got sober. Everyone else has their own story and degree of troubles but for ME, I was getting into random life threatening events... Like the time a friend tried to murder me while we were having an argument. Or the time I got run over by a truck outside a bar at 2AM. or the time I accidentally slipped into a bubbling pool of water at Hetch Hechy reservoir directly upstream from the 400 foot waterfall. You see, there were three instances when I could have died... All happened while drunk or high on acid... so, my feeling is that since I don't drink and don't associate with people that do... The life threatening accidents have stopped happening. That's my story... I had to get to the point of survival before I stopped drinking...
New posting after a long time away 10/8/2008: Yes, still sober. about 8 years... graduated from college and two years at the general relief department in Eureka. Working with ex-cons that want to get back into society and stay out of jail. LOTS of directing clients to find clean and sober housing... Good way to earn a living... also... a new internet business: http://gregvanderlaan.com
Mom's AA Chico
2555 Zanella way "F"
This Website is a place for all of our friends to express their opinions...Share your experience, strength and hope with us... and a place to store all those documents that we read at meetings... WITH BIG LETTERS !
Mom's has meetings every day of the year... noon and night ... rain, sleet, snow, heatwave, earthquake... they still have a meeting... AND it actually works... amazing... If you want an accurate schedule, go over there at noon or in the evening... 5:30 & 8:00 PM... they are always there...
Send me pictures, stories, sounds, movies... I'll post them here...
[email protected]
Please Sign Guestbook
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favorite quote of an AA member:
Let us also remember to guard that erring member, the tongue and if we must use it, let us use it with kindness & consideration & tolerance.
Part of Dr. Bob's Farewell speech... Quoted from the book "Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers" a fine book.
"If you want that feeling of uselessness and self pity to disappear, quit being useless and pitiful." A favorite saying of Tom from Eureka...
Printable AA documents in REALLY BIG TYPE for those of us that can't see too good...feel free to print these and take them to a meeting...
What is AA ?...
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A Vision for You...**
HOW IT WORKS...**
MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM...**
PRAYER OF A HUMBLE SAINT... gregvan singing the prayer (just a little bit... the mp3 files take a long time to download)
MEETING FORMAT...**
THE TWELVE TRADITIONS...**
THE PROMISES...**
The Touch of The Master's Hand...**
www.aabutte-glenn.org/ a really good website for up to date info about AA in Chico and the surrounding areas... Visit them and be grateful for their excellent service...
If you are having trouble with alcohol, and need to speak to someone immediately, call:
Chico, Gridley, Orland or Willows
(530) 342-5756
Forbestown, Oroville, Paradise
(530) 879-9400
Our "safe HAVEN"...
This photo taken by Jeff...Personal note to Jeff... The city of Eureka has changed the traffic flow near the end of the Samoa Bridge. Now there is no cross traffic on third street. That's the location of your terrible car accident. So, you get paralized 15 years ago and finally the city corrects the problem!
This particular hall was condemmed by the city of Chico. We will miss the old girl... The new hall is at...
2555 Zanella way "F"...or if you can't find that one try...
Chico Central, 3012 Esplanade
A woman was asked by a co-worker, "What is it like to be a
recovering alcoholic?"
The co-worker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then he cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc., and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."
This was passed on to me from another pumpkin. Now, it is your turn to pass it to a pumpkin. I liked this enough to send it to all the pumpkins in my patch.
This is a drawing that I did for John Mc. and he emailed it to me a year later.
It has a history... Including getting milk spilled on it while it was on his refrigerator...that adds character to the drawing AND reminds me to accept the things I cannot change...It is impossible to unspill milk... Gee, maybe in the future I could use ink that doesn't run when it gets wet...
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to Know the difference.
MY MEDALLION
I always carry my medallion,
A simple reminder to me
Of the fact that I'm in recovery
No matter where I may be.
This little chip is not magic
Nor is it a good luck charm.
It isn't supposed to protect me
From every possible harm.
It's not meant for comparison,
Or for all the world to see,
It's simply an understanding
Between my Higher Power and me.
Whenever I doubt the cost
I paid for recovery,
I look at my medallion
To remember what used to be.
It reminds me to be thankful
For my blessings day by day,
And to practice the principles
In all I do and say.
It's also a daily reminder
Of the peace and comfort I share
With all who work the Program
And show they really care.
So I carry my medallion
To remind no one but me
That the Promises will unfold
If I let God work for me.
submitted by Roger... THANKX
Feel free to copy and paste any images... have fun !!!
I moved to Eureka after getting sober and went to College... Graduated in 2005... Yep, I never did THAT back when I was drinking... I couldn't seem to maintain focus on any goal for four years... Well, now that I'm sober, I can...
EUREKA, CALIFORNIA INFORMATION for Al-Anon, Alateen A group for friends and families of alcoholics...
This is a lovely website that has useful information about meetings in Eureka. Since so many people from Chico come to visit here, this link may help you plan your trip... It is a fine source of meeting schedules... This organization uses the same halls as AA. I recognize the addresses because when I first moved here, I tried to visit all the halls... Actually, that was FUN... The entire concept of travelling with AA is a great idea. I've met many people that were taking a "roadtrip" around the USA and stopped in to meetings at every town. Not only does it help to get and stay sober, but you can get insider information of where to go and what to see. I've travelled to Tahoe and Reno this way...
click here... for some pictures of a day at the beach... At the North Jetty of Eureka...
A bar in Eureka. The name made me laugh... I went there for a college class once... I was taking a cultural anthropology class and we needed to do a field research project. Our group decided to do a "Behind the Music" presentation of a local bluegrass band... that's culture... We went to a practice and a performance and made movies, sound recordings and a powerpoint slideshow... It was very odd but the show was at the AA Lounge on a Sunday Morning... I felt a little "goofy" going there but did it anyway... We gave a fine presentation to the class and got a really good view of what goes on behind the scenens with a working band... THE SLEWFOOT STRING BAND...
If you ever visit Eureka, CA be sure to grab a "nooner" at the AA hall on the corner of Chester and Harrison. Across from the Safeway store at the corner of Harris and Harrison. This is my new hall and a very good place to be... It is in the Church called Immanuel Lutheran at 3230 Harrison St... Near the Fairgrounds...
Typical flowers out back of the hall...
Our AA Hall in Eureka
The plants love all the rain we have here...
I found this address on the
official AA website...
In my humble opinion, it's a wonderful site... http://www.aa.org
HUMBOLDT COUNTY INTERGROUP
P O BOX 7102
EUREKA CA 95502-7102
707 442-0711
link to an historical view of this website...
june 2006 momsaachico
Just a backup copy in case I need it...
link to an historical view of this website...
APRIL 2006 momsaachico
slightly different content, less AA related content, more MEMEME... fortunetly, I have reworked this site and helped it stay on target... Gee, Sometimes it's NOT all about ME... so I moved that content to...
keep on scrolling down to see my online share... I just put some space here to admire the lovely background... 1,4,9 the dimentions of the Tycho Magnetic Anomally from 2001...
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My Online Share:
what I look like now that I'm sober... It is truly a miracle that I survived this long...
I credit AA with allowing me to live to be 52. I was getting into many near fatal experiences and now I don't... Yes, The program worked for me.
My share for Jan 13th 2007
I've been given such a gift... we had a meeting at work and the other people said that they were glad that I came to work in my new office. One lady said the she feels as if a great weight has been lifted from her shoulders... They were dividing the work between 6 people and now that they are splitting it 7 ways the burden is lighter... They also said that I radiate a feeling of tranquility and I'm a calming presence... The work in the welfare office has clients that are in desperate situations... many are homeless or living in their cars... all are poor... some are mentally ill... frequently they burst into tears because their survival is threatened. Freezing to death is a real possibility. Last night it was 27 degrees in Eureka and is you are sleeping outdoors it is not just unpleasant, it is dangerous... The only shelter we are able to offer is the Eureka Rescue Mission and many clients are not welcome to stay there... For example: If you are under a Doctor's care and he prescribes narcotics, you are not allowed to sleep at the Mission... More than once, a co-worker has expressed the concept that "WE could easily become clients, one paycheck away from eviction"... I just had $263 dollars worth of work done on my only car. If I can keep it running, I can drive to work and survive... I was fortunate to HAVE the money. My lifestyle is totally sustainable... Just go to work, do the best I can, stay sober and I'll be able to pay the rent and buy food... Of course, silly extra purchases are totally out of reach. I interview clients and ask them a lot of questions... often we rejoice that the answers are "NO"... I'm so glad to be... out of jail, no warrants out for my arrest, no probation, no parole and not in court ordered rehab... what a blessing... to be living indoors with a working heater... and... I survived up until now ! I've had a two near fatal experiences... I realized that every second since I was 19 years old has been "extra"... a gift...
"finding a serenity prayer at the post office"
Hi, I'm greg and I'm an alcoholic. My share for November 22 2006.
My friend had spent the entire day working on custom greeting cards on the computer. She finished the last card, the glue had
dried and everything that needed to sparkle, had been sparkled... She got her boots on and she walked on down the hall... out the
door and down the street... To the post office... at exactly 5:02 PM... yep, late... she could hear
the sounds of our post master inside, but you have to be on time at the post office... so she looked down at her elbow and saw�
"THE SERENITY PRAYER" printed on a bookmark... Gee, just when she needed a bookmark, a bookmark appeared... not that she
needed to mark a book, but the concepts expressed4u... were exactly what was needed to calm the frustration of being late and
missing out on good stuff... So, when I got home, we drove over to the other post office, mailed all the cards, stopped and bought a steak sandwich and
came home... and all was right with the world... on time and only slightly over budget... we can just write that off to experience...
God
grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the
difference...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That's my share... a slice of life in beautiful downtown Cutten, CA...
near the Oregon border...
Share for November 18th, 2006: I'm greg and I'm an alcoholic... busy day at work... seems like all the new cases have intense problems that are tricky to solve... We are still in the training unit at the Department of Health and Human Services and are starting to increase the caseload to ease the burden for other units. One thing that I am certain of... It would be impossible to do this job with a hangover... It takes all my brainpower to just do what I do... Lucky for me, I joined AA and got off booze... It is flu season here in Eureka and I took a day of sick leave... That helped my health but all the work remained undone... Many of the people in the office were knocked out by the flu and we all have to work together to get the basic tasks done... like answering the phone and trying to solve the client's problems... It's quite a task to pick up the phone and meet someone for the first time... especially because they are in trouble... otherwise they would not have called...
It is better to go to work at the welfare office than to be a client...
November 3rd, 2006: Still Here: Yes, I'm greg and I'm an alcoholic... Watched a fine movie last night called "Fierce Grace" about Ram Das. I remember that we had a meeting at campfire council ring behind Caper Acres and the subject was "BE HERE NOW"... That location is one of the MOST wonderful place in the world for an AA meeting... It is very easy to Remember to be here now when in that miraculous setting... The real trick is to remember to be here now when one is doing something unpleasant... The movie was made after Ram Das was "STROKED"... he had a blood clot in his brain and now has difficulty walking or remembering the words to say when talking... He feels that this experience is just GOD's way of telling him that his work here on earth is not done yet... more to learn, more to teach... this is a great resource for people that are getting old and are encountering the inevitable problems of their friends getting sick and themselves getting sick... Ram Dass has always been a pioneer that went before us and wrote down his experiences so that we could have a guide. Like a mapmaker... The book "Still Here" was useful to me when my Mom died...
I often remember that I have a resource at AA meetings for getting help about many problems... after the meeting is over, people are always available to ask how they coped with their other problems... like when their own Mom died or when they got sick themselves... The concept of "One Day at a Time" and "Be Here Now" are very similar...
October 28th, 2006:
Hi, I'm greg and I'm an alcoholic...
We (the Department of Health and Human Services) had an all day training of Native American cultural awareness at the United Indian Health Service in Arcata. Paid for by the County of Humboldt. Great day.
I spoke up and said I was part Shushwap and that they had made a movie called Alkali Lake. The Indians leading the gathering said it was a famous movie and they had just shown it last week... go figure... It is about how AA did great work among the Shushwap and changed a town from 95% dringing to zero... One of the great success stories of our time...
At the gathering,
we did a lot of activities... one thing we did was go outside on the sunny day out to the area where the TWO MILES OF TRAILS are... we all stood in a circle and a leader held on to one end of a ball of yarn... she threw the ball to someone else, they said their name, where they worked, what they did and their favorite food... then that person threw the ball of yarn to someone else... the yarn formed a spiderweb connecting all of us after it had been thrown a couple of dozen times... Then the leader dropped her strand and the whole thing was lopsided... signifying that if one of us drops their part of the load, the others are effected... then she picked up her strand and pulled it tight... showing that when one of us is under stress, it effects those nearby... a basic concept of co-operation and group... taught kinetically with yarn...
The entire UIHS is made from recycled redwood and looks like a tourist hotel in a national park... the Ahwahnee in Yosemite comes to mind... The idea is that they treat the entire patient... physical health problems AND curing using the lovely surroundings to make the patient comfortable... They have a sweat lodge for the patients and it is open to the public twice a month... After a day of training, I felt spiritually refreshed... They talked about the medicine wheel... treating all four parts of the patients health... spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically... The entire day left me in a good mood... We closed the ceremony with a song sung by a Win-toon... I danced lightly and beat out that famous 4/4 beat on my car keys, they tinkle quietly but I can feel the beat ONE, two, three, four, ONE, two, three, four... I hope to someday go back and walk more of the trails...
Share for October 27th 2006.
Still an alcoholic, still sober... We will be going to an employee training for cultural awareness of Native Americans in Arcata, CA... This should be a fun time. At MOM's AA I met many Native Americans and we had a lot of fun together. It's just better if you are invited to a gathering by a friend. Say Hi to "Keep Coming Back" Dorothy for me...
One man that truly impressed me was Marcus. He seemed to have a deep understanding of the program and when he talked, I listened. May he rest in peace. When I was working the steps for the first time, I would focus my attention on one of them at a time. Marcus seemed to know what I was studying and would talk about that particular step at the meeting. How could he know which one I was working on ? I didn't do them IN ORDER... I think he was "unexplainably guided"... GOD, or G.O.D. or Clair Voyance... who knows, who cares... I know that he was a gem and helped me in my getting sober... THANKS!
Share for October 20th 2006. My name is greg and I'm an alcoholic. Well, I just got email from my dad saying that a friend of 40 years passed away. I immediatly turned to art and made a memorial photo-collage of some boats at harbor or a still foggy day with golden words saying "In Memory of (her name)
Smooth Sailing Ahead. Then I sent it via email to dad, my brother and my dad's best friend. Maybe it will heal the widower. I find that doing art can be useful for healing myself and my friends. I can only hope that this hand made sympathy card will be of value to all those that are having a sad day. My sister in law took the picture on a fun trip that she took to visit us.
Online share for October 8th 2006: My name is greg and I'm an alcoholic. My new job is going well. I've been at the Humboldt County Health and Human Services for 10 weeks now. It was a struggle to change my lifestyle from a college student to holding down a full time job but I'm doing it. First we had 8 weeks of training on the computer system that helps us determine elegibility for Medi-cal and food stamps. Now we are doing the actual work of helping people. Of the class of 13 people, six remain. It is difficult work dealing with an extremely complex computer system and an even more bewildering maze of government regulations. After all is said and done, I have managed to help real people and that is satisfying. During my lunch time I've been drawing pencil slogans in my notebook. One says "One Day at a Time" and the other says "Keep Coming Back"... I have been applying these slogans to my work.
Yes, it has seemed overwheling at times, but I just keep coming back every day and as time passes it becomes easier. I earn enough on the paycheck to survive... My lifestyle is sustainable... I can do this for years... Many people at work have been doing this for years... It's not unusual to meet people that have been here for 20 or 30 years... I have noticed that the clients coming in the door to apply for food stamps are very similar to the people that I met in AA. Some are still lost in worlds of drinking and drug abuse and I can sense the relationship... Yep, now that I'm sober, I can walk in the employees entrance and get a paycheck instead of walking in the front door and looking for welfare. In general, being a member of AA has allowed me to follow a path that will lead to a longer, better quality life. Thanks to my G.O.D. (group of drunks) we can survive and thrive for years... I recently did a giant tie-dye wall hanging with the idea of selling it on EBAY. It turned out to be so beautiful that my wife asked me to not sell it but keep it and hang it on the wall behind the record player... The NEXT one will be for sale...
see the record album cover in lower right hand corner to get an idea of the size of this wall hanging... Yes, it's "Cheap Thrills" by Janis Joplin with artwork by Robert Crumb...
Online share for July 25th, 2006: Hi, my name is greg and I'm an alcoholic.
So many good things have happened this year. I truly was lucky to have joined AA. Since I graduated from college last December I've been looking for work. I start a new job next week. It will be for the County of Humboldt as an Elegibility Worker in the Department of Health and Human Services. A fellow member of AA works there now, and told me about the job. One of the many side benefits of belonging to any organization is the network of people you meet that can give you a clue about employment opportunities. The "old boy" network is famous... I never could tolerate the traditional clubs that are used for networking. Fraternities, the Church, Rotary, Masons, and the "Water Buffalo" all were places that I felt creepy at. They appeal to many people but I simply do not like to be there... Lucky for me, AA was a club that I joined and felt at home. This club had people in it that had a similar outlook on life to me.
True, I could have done the research myself and found out about the job, but it is unlikely that I would have... I was randomly there at the DHHS office and my friend was outside at lunch... I asked him what he was doing for work since he graduated and he told me... Since I graduated with a degree in Computer Information Systems, I have been looking for work IN THAT FIELD... well, this job IS NOT in that field... I just applied because he said it was a good deal... We shall see if it turns out to be a good job. He says that the first year is great. They train you for two months to do the job and then assign you a small caseload of people to serve. Gradually, they increase the caseload until you go insane. This is a fine plan because, I'll be doing this job a single day at a time... He says the job really starts to suck in your second year... That is a very long way off in the distance...
I am certain that none of this would have happened if I was still drinking...
I went to a great party last weekend. It was the Humboldt County Folklife Festival. The music was wonderful. I saw six groups playing bluegrass, folk, gypsy jazz and abstract space-drums. Yes, they served wine and beer there... and there was a bar on the corner next door and many people were wandering from one place to another. I also saw that a group of people were sneaking under the bridge near the creek to privately smoke grass. It's all part of this interesting world where I have the freedom of choice to do what I want to do... Somehow, the booze and grass seem to be part of a lifestyle of mine from long ago... I voluntarily choose to not do that now and am having a better time in general... Since I has grasped the concepts of AA, I have the freedom to go anywhere and do anything but I select to do it sober... If other people start to behave in an obnoxious manner, I generally move away from them. That's one of the reasons that I didn't actually go inside the bar on the corner... There would be no advantage for me... so, i danced to the music and had a great time...
An online share for June 2, 2006: Hi, my name is greg and I'm an alcoholic. In my humble opinion, the building of this website has helped me with my sobriety. I started it at the request of a member in Mom's AA, Chico because he said that he needed an AA "chat room". since I knew HOW to build a chat room I built one for him. As it turned out, it was a total failure because no one ever visited and it is pointless to go to a chat room by yourself... Oh, well... I did learn that there is more to building a chat room than the computer programming. There are marketing skills required... Since that feature didn't work, I deleted it... It was a good thing to do the service of building a chat room for a fellow member... It was good for ME and after all was said and done, the service turned out to be more beneficial to the SERVER than the SERVEE. Wow, what a concept. Before I joined AA I would never have believed that this concept was even possible. Then this website evolved into a place to store all those documents that we read at the meetings. Our copies were old and worn and often missing at the meetings. I could walk over to the college and get another copy printed when needed. I found a member that had all the documents stored on a floppy disk. Many thanks to the member that did all the typing... Members also submitted their favorite sayings and poems... I'm very grateful to have had the opportunity to use my web skills for a useful purpose.
Share for June 3, 2006: Hello, my name is still greg and I'm still an alcoholic... Today, I woke up and did not have a hangover. Gee, that's a miracle. Near the end of my drinking years, I found that my hangovers would last for two days. The effect of the drug would last for a few hours but the after effect was horrible. I found that in order to avoid the hangovers I had to drink every day. I would visit the liquor store on the corner and get an "Airplane bottle" of Jose Cuervo and drink it while I waited for the bus to take me to work... Just recently, I had to go into a store to get change to use the telephone. I remembered later that behind the counter, there was an entire shelf of "Airplane Bottles" of various types of booze... I had not even really seen them. I was interested in getting change for the telephone and that required me to be focused on talking to the man behind the counter.
The reason I needed to use the phone was to call a tow truck because my old vehicle was experiencing trouble. I was upset. In years past, this would have been a perfect excuse to drink. Before AA I often found relief to stress in the bottle... Of course, the problems did not magically "go away" by drinking. I often found the opposite to be true... the problems got worse because of the drinking. This concept was taught to me at Mom's. I NEVER would have figured it out on my own. Thanks to my Group Of Drunks, I was able to learn ideas that were foreign to me.
anyway, back to the story...
I saw the clerk that could provide change for the telephone, and ignored all the unimportant stuff. This little store has a wide variety of things that do not interest me and generally I ignore them. For example, they sell bait. Unless I'm going fishing, I can walk right past a bait stand without noticing it. They also sell charcoal briquettes and lighter fluid... If I'm in the mood to have a BAR-B-Q then I notice the supplies... On another day, I will notice them only enough to avoid stepping on them and accidentally tripping...
I've noticed that WHAT I'M INTERESTED IN DEFINES WHAT I SEE. I just bought a digital camera and one of the advantages is that PICTURES ARE FREE. If I take a photo, it costs me the same as if I do not take a photo. Therefore, on days like the one I had yesterday, when My friend and I went to the AA Church and took pictures... I was snapping wildly. I too about a hundred pictures... The best three are displayed on this website and the rest are stored on our computer for later use... What happened is that I ENTERED AN ALTERED STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS because I was LOOKING INTENTLY at the world and noticing what was there. I was very interested in the flowers and the building and so I SAW MORE DETAIL IN REALITY. I noticed many things that normally I would just ignore. Just like the fact that I will not even see the bait display at the little store on the corner unless I'm going fishing and have an INTEREST in bait... My increased interest in finding good things to photograph at our AA hall caused me to see with a "New Pair of Glasses". It's a GOOD EFFECT.
Tolerance of sharing about outside issues: I found that the members I met at Mom's AA had a tolerant view of discussing outside issues. That was helpful to me because I, like so many baby boomers, have addiction problems with many other drugs than alcohol. Actually, when I was in high school alcohol was considered totally UN-HIP and something that was popular with our parents generation. We did not use the drug alcohol because it was unfashionable. However, when I left home and attended Chico State in 1973, I was introduced to keggers. They were a lot of fun but they mostly attended by people that I would not want to associate with. I preferred the company of hippies and the fraternity and sorority members seemed to be of a different culture. A culture that I didn't want anything to do with. As time passed on I started to use alcohol as well as the 8 other drugs that I liked. The only one that I had severe trouble with was alcohol and so I joined this group. As a side benefit to my membership in AA, I also got help with the basic trouble of drug addiction. Some groups forbid talking about outside issues. In my humble opinion, this is counter productive. For example: When I smoke grass, I really feel like drinking an Irish Coffee. After all, 3 drugs has got to be better than 1... I tried for a long time to hang on to my other addictions while shunning alcohol but that actually didn't work for me. Having discussions about the wide range of addiction problems has been helpful to the members of Mom's AA. I now watch for addictions of many varieties and take appropriate action when needed. I simply have substituted a healthy habit, computer art and website design, for the unhealthy addiction to alcohol. I noticed that the alcohol addiction was threatening my life, but the computer may actually increase my lifespan. How ? Well, I just found out by reading the Google news that using a lot of anti-inflammatory (ibuprofen) drugs may increase my risk of heart attack. A small amount of daily aspirin may be beneficial. I'll be reading more about this as time goes by because often reports like these are propaganda written by people that want to sell me stuff... This particular study might be funded by the Bayer corp... I am extremely skeptical about free advice... I'm still severely addicted to tobacco... I get anxious whenever I don't smoke... A classic sign of addiction... I started smoking tobacco as a cheap marijuana extender. Sort of like hamburger-helper. A half and half joint is almost as strong as a pure grass joint. Sadly, it leads to addiction to tobacco... By the way, marijuana would have interferred with my ability to learn computer science so when I moved to Humboldt County, I quit smoking. Ironic but true. Here I sit in a place that is famous for it's grass but since I only know people that were computer nerds, I never found the grass... It's easy to NOT FIND if you DON"T LOOK...
Go Figure, the legal drugs turned out to be severely dangerous. Yes, the laws seem to be backwards but once a person realizes that laws are just the opinions of the U.S. Congress... it all makes sense... They pass laws that benefit the people that contribute money to their campaigns, not what is morally right. Defense contractors donate, we get war... ENRON contributes, we get energy deregulation leading to bankruptcy, Bankers contribute, we get Savings and Loan deregulation leading to bankruptcy... Hey, those idiots in the US Congress often make stupid laws... It's not their fault, they are just doing what they are PAID to do. It is a pleasant image to see so many of them going to jail...
June 9th, 2006 Hello: I'm greg and I'm an Alcoholic. When my friend suggested that I put the quote from Dr. Bob's Farewell speech on this website, she flipped open the book to a spot near the end so I could get the words right. She is a big believer of opening a book to a random page to get the right words for that exact moment in time. This is a traditional way of selecting a topic for a meeting. Open "As Bill Sees It" to whatever page comes naturally and "fate" selects which passage to read. On this particular day, as she was looking in the back of "Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers" the page described his love of meatloaf. It just happens that a couple of days before, she had cooked meatloaf for us FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN THE LAST SIX YEARS. We have been sharing a home for six years and never once have we had meatloaf. Just co-incidence ? We think not...
I don't believe in GOD, but I MIGHT BE WRONG! One of the steps says that "I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity". The Group Of Drunks (G. O. D.) that I joined in AA is clearly a power greater than myself. There are about 50 people that attend meetings in Chico and their combined power is greater than mine. 50 people can easily lift an automobile, but I cannot. 50 people can purchase an entire apartment building, but I cannot. The power of MILLIONS of AA members worldwide is awesome... I listened to what those people said and it worked. This Group Of Drunks has a place for people of ANY faith. Many people get upset when they first join AA because they have had bad experiences with the PEOPLE from the Christian Church. Do not be concerned. AA does not force any one brand name of God on anyone. Buddha, KRSNA, GAIA, Native American, Allah, Thor, Ra, LSD, Yaweh, or "NONE OF THE ABOVE" are all welcome. Relax and choose your own power. That step also specifically says the word "could". The words in the steps were very carefully chosen. For example: If I buy a lottery ticket I COULD win millions of dollars. It is very unlikely that it will happen, but it COULD. I came to believe that my sanity COULD be restored. The future is unpredictable and it COULD happen. That was enough. I opened my mind to the possibility and... My sanity was restored. Some unexplainable things have happened to me. I went with a few of my AA buddies to a Christian / Native American Tent revival meeting. It lasted for 5 days. One night we played the drums for hours and a song formed in my head. Fortunately, I had my guitar with me and I was able to write down all the music and lyrics. The chorus (awaken the giant within) just appeared in my mouth while we were beating the "father" drum. This type of experience is extremely pleasing but rather standard. As a matter of fact, if you DON'T get a spiritual experience when you are playing the drums, something is wrong. What happened the next night is unexplainable. After listening to the preacher man and the music I went up to another spiritual leader and complained to him that other people were having religious experiences but nothing was happening to me. Other people were talking to spiritual leaders and then FALLING RIGHT OVER. They called it being "slain by the spirit". He talked to me for a while and then blew air at me with his mouth. I was knocked to the ground. Under normal circumstances, it would take two strong men to knock me to the ground (or one with a baseball bat). This man did it with his breath. Just a puff of air and down I went. I was aware of my surroundings and awake the whole time. This event really happened. I can't explain it. I don't believe in GOD but I MIGHT BE WRONG ! Maybe GOD knocked me over. I believe that there COULD be a GOD. It is possible. It is extremely unlikely, but... So is the fact that we have LIFE here on planet Earth. There is no sign of life on Mars or the Moon or on any other planet that we can sense, but... here we are... Just Coincidence? Another unexplainable thing that happened was that I gave my crack cocaine addiction to Jesus. While I was living in Washington DC I smoked crack and became addicted. I went to a Baptist church and told the minister about my problem and he suggested that I give my addiction to Jesus. One minister talked to me in English while another talked to me in "tongues" and I asked Jesus to take my addiction. I have not smoked cocaine since. That happened 20 years ago. It is ironic that these two events happened to me in a Christian Church. I believe that Jesus was a man. A smart man, but just a man. He has some GREAT ideas. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Moses had some GREAT ideas, too. So did Spike Lee. "DO THE RIGHT THING". Brilliant! "Ram Dass" wrote a wonderful book (REMEMBER, BE HERE NOW) but only a fool would think that Dr.. Richard Alpert was the SON of GOD. I have taken communion at a Baptist church and was truly disappointed. I drank the wine and ate the wafer and NOTHING HAPPENED. I have gone to other events hosted by other religions but nothing happened there, either. I've played the drums with Buddhist Monks in front of the White House in Washington DC while protesting the gulf war, I've visited a Hindu GURU at an ashram in Virginia, chanted the HARE KRSNA for hours, but NOTHING ever happened. I was raised in a home that believed in reality. Invisible "friends" were dismissed as silly superstitions. Gods that could not be seen, heard, touched, tasted or smelled were obviously nonexistent. We believe that thunder is caused by static electric discharge, not THOR, the GOD OF THUNDER. We believe in CAUSE and EFFECT. Science can explain almost everything. Science still needs to do more basic research because we don't know everything yet. I'm sorry to report that the "tooth fairy" is not real. The quarter that I found under my pillow after losing a baby tooth was placed there by my dad. There is no Santa Claus. If it makes YOU feel good to believe in Allah or Jesus or V***GER (Star Trek), go right ahead. Please don't kill me because I don't bow down towards Mecca. I've BEEN to OZ and there is a WIZARD behind the curtain. He's just a man... Quetzacoatl ? No thanks... I'm a JEDI Knight and YODA is my master... When I was drinking heavily I bowed down to RALPH the porcelain GOD of toilette... I guess that I'm lucky that GOD believes in me.
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Written at a Native American Christian Gathering: 200 Drums Ceremony
BIG MEDICINE SONG by gregvan
Chorus:
Awaken the giant within...(E,F,F#,F)
Awaken the giant within...(E,F,F#,F)
Verse:
Went down to the river (E,G,D,D*,D)
Went down to the sea (A,A*,A)
Drank deep of the water of life (E,G,D,D*,D)
and set my soul free,my soul free (A,A*,A,E,E)
Ya Way is the mountain
the ocean and the sea
may the four winds of the ancients
become one with thee,one with thee
...sing chorus here...
Ya-way,your way (E,G,D)
lead on mighty spirit (A,A*)
Ya-way your way
fill me with light
Ya-way, your way
the path is calling
Ya-way, your way
Rainbow warriors to the fight
Ya-way use me
make me a healer
Ya-way, use me
Big medicine is yours
Ya-way, use me
flowing waves of compassion
Ya-way, use me
My hands are your tools...
...sing chorus here...
The spirit of the buffalo (E,G,D,D*,D)
the spirit of the bear (A,A*,A)
teach us to live in balance (E,G,D,D*,D)
mother eARTh we will share, we'll share (A,A*,A,E,E)
Written in a field near highway 99 at sunset during the 200 drums Christian Pow-Wow gathering... An All Tribal event that lasted for 5 days... We did play 6 father drums and 200 frame drums... The lyrics just "appeared" in my mind while I was beating the father drum and I took a break and did dictation...
More words... What I share at meetings...
Share by gregvan 3/13/2006
another old share...
A WORD ABOUT GOD...
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REMEMBER, BE HERE NOW... Memories of the Sunday meetings in Bidwell Park 9:00 AM (One Mile)
remember, be here now... and then later we'll go shopping...
Response to a guestbook posting. A friend was asking about Mom's members from the 1980's... I do know a Robert that has been in the program for many many years. He is tall and thin and works full time at the lumber yard near highway 99. If that's the same person, he's doing well... Stop to think about this... a member that is STILL alive 30 years later... a miracle...
Response to guestbook note:
I see that a visitor has moved from the Bay Area to get away from the hustle and bustle... The Idea was that by moving to Chico it would help get closer to God. That sounds exactly like MY story... I had just gotten fired at my San Jose job for ...drinking on the job... and then got evicted... tried to rent a new place to stay but... EVERYTHING had become astronomically expensive... even a "monks quarters" near San Jose State was out of reach... So, I got on a greyhound bus, with some clothes and my acoustic guitar... It felt so good to be in Chico... I lived there in 1973 and 1974 and then moved back in 1998... I had been dreaming of returning to Chico ever since I got divorced in 1985... So, I am of the opinion that a move to Chico is a GREAT IDEA and could help a person get closer to God... It worked for ME, it took a HUGE quantity of meetings but... so what! 500 meetings a year sure is better than the alternative... As it all turned out, Chico WAS the best place for me at the time... I sold my stock and took a one year vacation to focus on my health. The cost of living in Chico allowed me to have the freedom to focus on AA. I did not have a car so there were no bills for gas, I lived outdoors in Bidwell Park for the entire summer, so there were no bills for rent... If you ever have the chance, go visit picnic area 37 at the redwood grove. My Home... I ate at the Jesus center and rode a bicycle all over town. That caused health because of good balanced food and exercise... Quite a change from working 6 days a week at a stressful job and drinking Safeway brandy and whiskey every day...
Maybe, you are of a totally different opinion... sign the guestbook and rant away... for a larger message use my email... please include something in the subject line to give me a hint that your message is not spam but the insightful words of a real person...
[email protected]
Please Sign Guestbook
View Guestbook
Mom's AA Chico
2555 Zanella way "F"
This Website is a place for all of our friends to express their opinions...Share your experience, strength and hope with us... and a place to store all those documents that we read at meetings... WITH BIG LETTERS !
Mom's has meetings every day of the year... noon and night ... rain, sleet, snow, heatwave, earthquake... they still have a meeting... AND it actually works... amazing... If you want an accurate schedule, go over there at noon or in the evening... 5:30 & 8:00 PM... they are always there...
Send me pictures, stories, sounds, movies... I'll post them here...
[email protected]
Please Sign Guestbook
View Guestbook
favorite quote of an AA member:
Let us also remember to guard that erring member, the tongue and if we must use it, let us use it with kindness & consideration & tolerance.
Part of Dr. Bob's Farewell speech... Quoted from the book "Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers" a fine book.
"If you want that feeling of uselessness and self pity to disappear, quit being useless and pitiful." A favorite saying of Tom from Eureka...
Printable AA documents in REALLY BIG TYPE for those of us that can't see too good...feel free to print these and take them to a meeting...
What is AA ?...
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A Vision for You...**
HOW IT WORKS...**
MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM...**
PRAYER OF A HUMBLE SAINT... gregvan singing the prayer (just a little bit... the mp3 files take a long time to download)
MEETING FORMAT...**
THE TWELVE TRADITIONS...**
THE PROMISES...**
The Touch of The Master's Hand...**
www.aabutte-glenn.org/ a really good website for up to date info about AA in Chico and the surrounding areas... Visit them and be grateful for their excellent service...
If you are having trouble with alcohol, and need to speak to someone immediately, call:
Chico, Gridley, Orland or Willows
(530) 342-5756
Forbestown, Oroville, Paradise
(530) 879-9400
Our "safe HAVEN"...
This photo taken by Jeff...Personal note to Jeff... The city of Eureka has changed the traffic flow near the end of the Samoa Bridge. Now there is no cross traffic on third street. That's the location of your terrible car accident. So, you get paralized 15 years ago and finally the city corrects the problem!
This particular hall was condemmed by the city of Chico. We will miss the old girl... The new hall is at...
2555 Zanella way "F"...or if you can't find that one try...
Chico Central, 3012 Esplanade
A woman was asked by a co-worker, "What is it like to be a
recovering alcoholic?"
The co-worker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then he cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc., and then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."
This was passed on to me from another pumpkin. Now, it is your turn to pass it to a pumpkin. I liked this enough to send it to all the pumpkins in my patch.
This is a drawing that I did for John Mc. and he emailed it to me a year later.
It has a history... Including getting milk spilled on it while it was on his refrigerator...that adds character to the drawing AND reminds me to accept the things I cannot change...It is impossible to unspill milk... Gee, maybe in the future I could use ink that doesn't run when it gets wet...
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to Know the difference.
MY MEDALLION
I always carry my medallion,
A simple reminder to me
Of the fact that I'm in recovery
No matter where I may be.
This little chip is not magic
Nor is it a good luck charm.
It isn't supposed to protect me
From every possible harm.
It's not meant for comparison,
Or for all the world to see,
It's simply an understanding
Between my Higher Power and me.
Whenever I doubt the cost
I paid for recovery,
I look at my medallion
To remember what used to be.
It reminds me to be thankful
For my blessings day by day,
And to practice the principles
In all I do and say.
It's also a daily reminder
Of the peace and comfort I share
With all who work the Program
And show they really care.
So I carry my medallion
To remind no one but me
That the Promises will unfold
If I let God work for me.
submitted by Roger... THANKX
Feel free to copy and paste any images... have fun !!!
I moved to Eureka after getting sober and went to College... Graduated in 2005... Yep, I never did THAT back when I was drinking... I couldn't seem to maintain focus on any goal for four years... Well, now that I'm sober, I can...
EUREKA, CALIFORNIA INFORMATION for Al-Anon, Alateen A group for friends and families of alcoholics...
This is a lovely website that has useful information about meetings in Eureka. Since so many people from Chico come to visit here, this link may help you plan your trip... It is a fine source of meeting schedules... This organization uses the same halls as AA. I recognize the addresses because when I first moved here, I tried to visit all the halls... Actually, that was FUN... The entire concept of travelling with AA is a great idea. I've met many people that were taking a "roadtrip" around the USA and stopped in to meetings at every town. Not only does it help to get and stay sober, but you can get insider information of where to go and what to see. I've travelled to Tahoe and Reno this way...
click here... for some pictures of a day at the beach... At the North Jetty of Eureka...
A bar in Eureka. The name made me laugh... I went there for a college class once... I was taking a cultural anthropology class and we needed to do a field research project. Our group decided to do a "Behind the Music" presentation of a local bluegrass band... that's culture... We went to a practice and a performance and made movies, sound recordings and a powerpoint slideshow... It was very odd but the show was at the AA Lounge on a Sunday Morning... I felt a little "goofy" going there but did it anyway... We gave a fine presentation to the class and got a really good view of what goes on behind the scenens with a working band... THE SLEWFOOT STRING BAND...
If you ever visit Eureka, CA be sure to grab a "nooner" at the AA hall on the corner of Chester and Harrison. Across from the Safeway store at the corner of Harris and Harrison. This is my new hall and a very good place to be... It is in the Church called Immanuel Lutheran at 3230 Harrison St... Near the Fairgrounds...
Typical flowers out back of the hall...
Our AA Hall in Eureka
The plants love all the rain we have here...
I found this address on the
official AA website...
In my humble opinion, it's a wonderful site... http://www.aa.org
HUMBOLDT COUNTY INTERGROUP
P O BOX 7102
EUREKA CA 95502-7102
707 442-0711
link to an historical view of this website...
june 2006 momsaachico
Just a backup copy in case I need it...
link to an historical view of this website...
APRIL 2006 momsaachico
slightly different content, less AA related content, more MEMEME... fortunetly, I have reworked this site and helped it stay on target... Gee, Sometimes it's NOT all about ME... so I moved that content to...
HUMBOLDT COUNTY INTERGROUP
P O BOX 7102
EUREKA CA 95502-7102
707 442-0711
keep on scrolling down to see my online share... I just put some space here to admire the lovely background... 1,4,9 the dimentions of the Tycho Magnetic Anomally from 2001...
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My Online Share: |
what I look like now that I'm sober... It is truly a miracle that I survived this long... |
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My share for Jan 13th 2007November 3rd, 2006: Still Here: Yes, I'm greg and I'm an alcoholic... Watched a fine movie last night called "Fierce Grace" about Ram Das. I remember that we had a meeting at campfire council ring behind Caper Acres and the subject was "BE HERE NOW"... That location is one of the MOST wonderful place in the world for an AA meeting... It is very easy to Remember to be here now when in that miraculous setting... The real trick is to remember to be here now when one is doing something unpleasant... The movie was made after Ram Das was "STROKED"... he had a blood clot in his brain and now has difficulty walking or remembering the words to say when talking... He feels that this experience is just GOD's way of telling him that his work here on earth is not done yet... more to learn, more to teach... this is a great resource for people that are getting old and are encountering the inevitable problems of their friends getting sick and themselves getting sick... Ram Dass has always been a pioneer that went before us and wrote down his experiences so that we could have a guide. Like a mapmaker... The book "Still Here" was useful to me when my Mom died... I often remember that I have a resource at AA meetings for getting help about many problems... after the meeting is over, people are always available to ask how they coped with their other problems... like when their own Mom died or when they got sick themselves... The concept of "One Day at a Time" and "Be Here Now" are very similar... October 28th, 2006: Hi, I'm greg and I'm an alcoholic... We (the Department of Health and Human Services) had an all day training of Native American cultural awareness at the United Indian Health Service in Arcata. Paid for by the County of Humboldt. Great day. I spoke up and said I was part Shushwap and that they had made a movie called Alkali Lake. The Indians leading the gathering said it was a famous movie and they had just shown it last week... go figure... It is about how AA did great work among the Shushwap and changed a town from 95% dringing to zero... One of the great success stories of our time... At the gathering, we did a lot of activities... one thing we did was go outside on the sunny day out to the area where the TWO MILES OF TRAILS are... we all stood in a circle and a leader held on to one end of a ball of yarn... she threw the ball to someone else, they said their name, where they worked, what they did and their favorite food... then that person threw the ball of yarn to someone else... the yarn formed a spiderweb connecting all of us after it had been thrown a couple of dozen times... Then the leader dropped her strand and the whole thing was lopsided... signifying that if one of us drops their part of the load, the others are effected... then she picked up her strand and pulled it tight... showing that when one of us is under stress, it effects those nearby... a basic concept of co-operation and group... taught kinetically with yarn... The entire UIHS is made from recycled redwood and looks like a tourist hotel in a national park... the Ahwahnee in Yosemite comes to mind... The idea is that they treat the entire patient... physical health problems AND curing using the lovely surroundings to make the patient comfortable... They have a sweat lodge for the patients and it is open to the public twice a month... After a day of training, I felt spiritually refreshed... They talked about the medicine wheel... treating all four parts of the patients health... spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically... The entire day left me in a good mood... We closed the ceremony with a song sung by a Win-toon... I danced lightly and beat out that famous 4/4 beat on my car keys, they tinkle quietly but I can feel the beat ONE, two, three, four, ONE, two, three, four... I hope to someday go back and walk more of the trails... Share for October 27th 2006. Still an alcoholic, still sober... We will be going to an employee training for cultural awareness of Native Americans in Arcata, CA... This should be a fun time. At MOM's AA I met many Native Americans and we had a lot of fun together. It's just better if you are invited to a gathering by a friend. Say Hi to "Keep Coming Back" Dorothy for me... Share for October 20th 2006. My name is greg and I'm an alcoholic. Well, I just got email from my dad saying that a friend of 40 years passed away. I immediatly turned to art and made a memorial photo-collage of some boats at harbor or a still foggy day with golden words saying "In Memory of (her name) Smooth Sailing Ahead. Then I sent it via email to dad, my brother and my dad's best friend. Maybe it will heal the widower. I find that doing art can be useful for healing myself and my friends. I can only hope that this hand made sympathy card will be of value to all those that are having a sad day. My sister in law took the picture on a fun trip that she took to visit us. Online share for October 8th 2006: My name is greg and I'm an alcoholic. My new job is going well. I've been at the Humboldt County Health and Human Services for 10 weeks now. It was a struggle to change my lifestyle from a college student to holding down a full time job but I'm doing it. First we had 8 weeks of training on the computer system that helps us determine elegibility for Medi-cal and food stamps. Now we are doing the actual work of helping people. Of the class of 13 people, six remain. It is difficult work dealing with an extremely complex computer system and an even more bewildering maze of government regulations. After all is said and done, I have managed to help real people and that is satisfying. During my lunch time I've been drawing pencil slogans in my notebook. One says "One Day at a Time" and the other says "Keep Coming Back"... I have been applying these slogans to my work. see the record album cover in lower right hand corner to get an idea of the size of this wall hanging... Yes, it's "Cheap Thrills" by Janis Joplin with artwork by Robert Crumb... Online share for July 25th, 2006: Hi, my name is greg and I'm an alcoholic. So many good things have happened this year. I truly was lucky to have joined AA. Since I graduated from college last December I've been looking for work. I start a new job next week. It will be for the County of Humboldt as an Elegibility Worker in the Department of Health and Human Services. A fellow member of AA works there now, and told me about the job. One of the many side benefits of belonging to any organization is the network of people you meet that can give you a clue about employment opportunities. The "old boy" network is famous... I never could tolerate the traditional clubs that are used for networking. Fraternities, the Church, Rotary, Masons, and the "Water Buffalo" all were places that I felt creepy at. They appeal to many people but I simply do not like to be there... Lucky for me, AA was a club that I joined and felt at home. This club had people in it that had a similar outlook on life to me. True, I could have done the research myself and found out about the job, but it is unlikely that I would have... I was randomly there at the DHHS office and my friend was outside at lunch... I asked him what he was doing for work since he graduated and he told me... Since I graduated with a degree in Computer Information Systems, I have been looking for work IN THAT FIELD... well, this job IS NOT in that field... I just applied because he said it was a good deal... We shall see if it turns out to be a good job. He says that the first year is great. They train you for two months to do the job and then assign you a small caseload of people to serve. Gradually, they increase the caseload until you go insane. This is a fine plan because, I'll be doing this job a single day at a time... He says the job really starts to suck in your second year... That is a very long way off in the distance... I am certain that none of this would have happened if I was still drinking... I went to a great party last weekend. It was the Humboldt County Folklife Festival. The music was wonderful. I saw six groups playing bluegrass, folk, gypsy jazz and abstract space-drums. Yes, they served wine and beer there... and there was a bar on the corner next door and many people were wandering from one place to another. I also saw that a group of people were sneaking under the bridge near the creek to privately smoke grass. It's all part of this interesting world where I have the freedom of choice to do what I want to do... Somehow, the booze and grass seem to be part of a lifestyle of mine from long ago... I voluntarily choose to not do that now and am having a better time in general... Since I has grasped the concepts of AA, I have the freedom to go anywhere and do anything but I select to do it sober... If other people start to behave in an obnoxious manner, I generally move away from them. That's one of the reasons that I didn't actually go inside the bar on the corner... There would be no advantage for me... so, i danced to the music and had a great time... An online share for June 2, 2006: Hi, my name is greg and I'm an alcoholic. In my humble opinion, the building of this website has helped me with my sobriety. I started it at the request of a member in Mom's AA, Chico because he said that he needed an AA "chat room". since I knew HOW to build a chat room I built one for him. As it turned out, it was a total failure because no one ever visited and it is pointless to go to a chat room by yourself... Oh, well... I did learn that there is more to building a chat room than the computer programming. There are marketing skills required... Since that feature didn't work, I deleted it... It was a good thing to do the service of building a chat room for a fellow member... It was good for ME and after all was said and done, the service turned out to be more beneficial to the SERVER than the SERVEE. Wow, what a concept. Before I joined AA I would never have believed that this concept was even possible. Then this website evolved into a place to store all those documents that we read at the meetings. Our copies were old and worn and often missing at the meetings. I could walk over to the college and get another copy printed when needed. I found a member that had all the documents stored on a floppy disk. Many thanks to the member that did all the typing... Members also submitted their favorite sayings and poems... I'm very grateful to have had the opportunity to use my web skills for a useful purpose. Share for June 3, 2006: Hello, my name is still greg and I'm still an alcoholic... Today, I woke up and did not have a hangover. Gee, that's a miracle. Near the end of my drinking years, I found that my hangovers would last for two days. The effect of the drug would last for a few hours but the after effect was horrible. I found that in order to avoid the hangovers I had to drink every day. I would visit the liquor store on the corner and get an "Airplane bottle" of Jose Cuervo and drink it while I waited for the bus to take me to work... Just recently, I had to go into a store to get change to use the telephone. I remembered later that behind the counter, there was an entire shelf of "Airplane Bottles" of various types of booze... I had not even really seen them. I was interested in getting change for the telephone and that required me to be focused on talking to the man behind the counter. The reason I needed to use the phone was to call a tow truck because my old vehicle was experiencing trouble. I was upset. In years past, this would have been a perfect excuse to drink. Before AA I often found relief to stress in the bottle... Of course, the problems did not magically "go away" by drinking. I often found the opposite to be true... the problems got worse because of the drinking. This concept was taught to me at Mom's. I NEVER would have figured it out on my own. Thanks to my Group Of Drunks, I was able to learn ideas that were foreign to me. anyway, back to the story... I saw the clerk that could provide change for the telephone, and ignored all the unimportant stuff. This little store has a wide variety of things that do not interest me and generally I ignore them. For example, they sell bait. Unless I'm going fishing, I can walk right past a bait stand without noticing it. They also sell charcoal briquettes and lighter fluid... If I'm in the mood to have a BAR-B-Q then I notice the supplies... On another day, I will notice them only enough to avoid stepping on them and accidentally tripping... I've noticed that WHAT I'M INTERESTED IN DEFINES WHAT I SEE. I just bought a digital camera and one of the advantages is that PICTURES ARE FREE. If I take a photo, it costs me the same as if I do not take a photo. Therefore, on days like the one I had yesterday, when My friend and I went to the AA Church and took pictures... I was snapping wildly. I too about a hundred pictures... The best three are displayed on this website and the rest are stored on our computer for later use... What happened is that I ENTERED AN ALTERED STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS because I was LOOKING INTENTLY at the world and noticing what was there. I was very interested in the flowers and the building and so I SAW MORE DETAIL IN REALITY. I noticed many things that normally I would just ignore. Just like the fact that I will not even see the bait display at the little store on the corner unless I'm going fishing and have an INTEREST in bait... My increased interest in finding good things to photograph at our AA hall caused me to see with a "New Pair of Glasses". It's a GOOD EFFECT. Tolerance of sharing about outside issues: I found that the members I met at Mom's AA had a tolerant view of discussing outside issues. That was helpful to me because I, like so many baby boomers, have addiction problems with many other drugs than alcohol. Actually, when I was in high school alcohol was considered totally UN-HIP and something that was popular with our parents generation. We did not use the drug alcohol because it was unfashionable. However, when I left home and attended Chico State in 1973, I was introduced to keggers. They were a lot of fun but they mostly attended by people that I would not want to associate with. I preferred the company of hippies and the fraternity and sorority members seemed to be of a different culture. A culture that I didn't want anything to do with. As time passed on I started to use alcohol as well as the 8 other drugs that I liked. The only one that I had severe trouble with was alcohol and so I joined this group. As a side benefit to my membership in AA, I also got help with the basic trouble of drug addiction. Some groups forbid talking about outside issues. In my humble opinion, this is counter productive. For example: When I smoke grass, I really feel like drinking an Irish Coffee. After all, 3 drugs has got to be better than 1... I tried for a long time to hang on to my other addictions while shunning alcohol but that actually didn't work for me. Having discussions about the wide range of addiction problems has been helpful to the members of Mom's AA. I now watch for addictions of many varieties and take appropriate action when needed. I simply have substituted a healthy habit, computer art and website design, for the unhealthy addiction to alcohol. I noticed that the alcohol addiction was threatening my life, but the computer may actually increase my lifespan. How ? Well, I just found out by reading the Google news that using a lot of anti-inflammatory (ibuprofen) drugs may increase my risk of heart attack. A small amount of daily aspirin may be beneficial. I'll be reading more about this as time goes by because often reports like these are propaganda written by people that want to sell me stuff... This particular study might be funded by the Bayer corp... I am extremely skeptical about free advice... I'm still severely addicted to tobacco... I get anxious whenever I don't smoke... A classic sign of addiction... I started smoking tobacco as a cheap marijuana extender. Sort of like hamburger-helper. A half and half joint is almost as strong as a pure grass joint. Sadly, it leads to addiction to tobacco... By the way, marijuana would have interferred with my ability to learn computer science so when I moved to Humboldt County, I quit smoking. Ironic but true. Here I sit in a place that is famous for it's grass but since I only know people that were computer nerds, I never found the grass... It's easy to NOT FIND if you DON"T LOOK... Go Figure, the legal drugs turned out to be severely dangerous. Yes, the laws seem to be backwards but once a person realizes that laws are just the opinions of the U.S. Congress... it all makes sense... They pass laws that benefit the people that contribute money to their campaigns, not what is morally right. Defense contractors donate, we get war... ENRON contributes, we get energy deregulation leading to bankruptcy, Bankers contribute, we get Savings and Loan deregulation leading to bankruptcy... Hey, those idiots in the US Congress often make stupid laws... It's not their fault, they are just doing what they are PAID to do. It is a pleasant image to see so many of them going to jail... June 9th, 2006 Hello: I'm greg and I'm an Alcoholic. When my friend suggested that I put the quote from Dr. Bob's Farewell speech on this website, she flipped open the book to a spot near the end so I could get the words right. She is a big believer of opening a book to a random page to get the right words for that exact moment in time. This is a traditional way of selecting a topic for a meeting. Open "As Bill Sees It" to whatever page comes naturally and "fate" selects which passage to read. On this particular day, as she was looking in the back of "Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers" the page described his love of meatloaf. It just happens that a couple of days before, she had cooked meatloaf for us FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN THE LAST SIX YEARS. We have been sharing a home for six years and never once have we had meatloaf. Just co-incidence ? We think not... I don't believe in GOD, but I MIGHT BE WRONG! One of the steps says that "I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity". The Group Of Drunks (G. O. D.) that I joined in AA is clearly a power greater than myself. There are about 50 people that attend meetings in Chico and their combined power is greater than mine. 50 people can easily lift an automobile, but I cannot. 50 people can purchase an entire apartment building, but I cannot. The power of MILLIONS of AA members worldwide is awesome... I listened to what those people said and it worked. This Group Of Drunks has a place for people of ANY faith. Many people get upset when they first join AA because they have had bad experiences with the PEOPLE from the Christian Church. Do not be concerned. AA does not force any one brand name of God on anyone. Buddha, KRSNA, GAIA, Native American, Allah, Thor, Ra, LSD, Yaweh, or "NONE OF THE ABOVE" are all welcome. Relax and choose your own power. That step also specifically says the word "could". The words in the steps were very carefully chosen. For example: If I buy a lottery ticket I COULD win millions of dollars. It is very unlikely that it will happen, but it COULD. I came to believe that my sanity COULD be restored. The future is unpredictable and it COULD happen. That was enough. I opened my mind to the possibility and... My sanity was restored. Some unexplainable things have happened to me. I went with a few of my AA buddies to a Christian / Native American Tent revival meeting. It lasted for 5 days. One night we played the drums for hours and a song formed in my head. Fortunately, I had my guitar with me and I was able to write down all the music and lyrics. The chorus (awaken the giant within) just appeared in my mouth while we were beating the "father" drum. This type of experience is extremely pleasing but rather standard. As a matter of fact, if you DON'T get a spiritual experience when you are playing the drums, something is wrong. What happened the next night is unexplainable. After listening to the preacher man and the music I went up to another spiritual leader and complained to him that other people were having religious experiences but nothing was happening to me. Other people were talking to spiritual leaders and then FALLING RIGHT OVER. They called it being "slain by the spirit". He talked to me for a while and then blew air at me with his mouth. I was knocked to the ground. Under normal circumstances, it would take two strong men to knock me to the ground (or one with a baseball bat). This man did it with his breath. Just a puff of air and down I went. I was aware of my surroundings and awake the whole time. This event really happened. I can't explain it. I don't believe in GOD but I MIGHT BE WRONG ! Maybe GOD knocked me over. I believe that there COULD be a GOD. It is possible. It is extremely unlikely, but... So is the fact that we have LIFE here on planet Earth. There is no sign of life on Mars or the Moon or on any other planet that we can sense, but... here we are... Just Coincidence? Another unexplainable thing that happened was that I gave my crack cocaine addiction to Jesus. While I was living in Washington DC I smoked crack and became addicted. I went to a Baptist church and told the minister about my problem and he suggested that I give my addiction to Jesus. One minister talked to me in English while another talked to me in "tongues" and I asked Jesus to take my addiction. I have not smoked cocaine since. That happened 20 years ago. It is ironic that these two events happened to me in a Christian Church. I believe that Jesus was a man. A smart man, but just a man. He has some GREAT ideas. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Moses had some GREAT ideas, too. So did Spike Lee. "DO THE RIGHT THING". Brilliant! "Ram Dass" wrote a wonderful book (REMEMBER, BE HERE NOW) but only a fool would think that Dr.. Richard Alpert was the SON of GOD. I have taken communion at a Baptist church and was truly disappointed. I drank the wine and ate the wafer and NOTHING HAPPENED. I have gone to other events hosted by other religions but nothing happened there, either. I've played the drums with Buddhist Monks in front of the White House in Washington DC while protesting the gulf war, I've visited a Hindu GURU at an ashram in Virginia, chanted the HARE KRSNA for hours, but NOTHING ever happened. I was raised in a home that believed in reality. Invisible "friends" were dismissed as silly superstitions. Gods that could not be seen, heard, touched, tasted or smelled were obviously nonexistent. We believe that thunder is caused by static electric discharge, not THOR, the GOD OF THUNDER. We believe in CAUSE and EFFECT. Science can explain almost everything. Science still needs to do more basic research because we don't know everything yet. I'm sorry to report that the "tooth fairy" is not real. The quarter that I found under my pillow after losing a baby tooth was placed there by my dad. There is no Santa Claus. If it makes YOU feel good to believe in Allah or Jesus or V***GER (Star Trek), go right ahead. Please don't kill me because I don't bow down towards Mecca. I've BEEN to OZ and there is a WIZARD behind the curtain. He's just a man... Quetzacoatl ? No thanks... I'm a JEDI Knight and YODA is my master... When I was drinking heavily I bowed down to RALPH the porcelain GOD of toilette... I guess that I'm lucky that GOD believes in me. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Written at a Native American Christian Gathering: 200 Drums Ceremony BIG MEDICINE SONG by gregvan Chorus: Awaken the giant within...(E,F,F#,F) Awaken the giant within...(E,F,F#,F) Verse: Went down to the river (E,G,D,D*,D) Went down to the sea (A,A*,A) Drank deep of the water of life (E,G,D,D*,D) and set my soul free,my soul free (A,A*,A,E,E) Ya Way is the mountain the ocean and the sea may the four winds of the ancients become one with thee,one with thee ...sing chorus here... Ya-way,your way (E,G,D) lead on mighty spirit (A,A*) Ya-way your way fill me with light Ya-way, your way the path is calling Ya-way, your way Rainbow warriors to the fight Ya-way use me make me a healer Ya-way, use me Big medicine is yours Ya-way, use me flowing waves of compassion Ya-way, use me My hands are your tools... ...sing chorus here... The spirit of the buffalo (E,G,D,D*,D) the spirit of the bear (A,A*,A) teach us to live in balance (E,G,D,D*,D) mother eARTh we will share, we'll share (A,A*,A,E,E) Written in a field near highway 99 at sunset during the 200 drums Christian Pow-Wow gathering... An All Tribal event that lasted for 5 days... We did play 6 father drums and 200 frame drums... The lyrics just "appeared" in my mind while I was beating the father drum and I took a break and did dictation... More words... What I share at meetings... Share by gregvan 3/13/2006 another old share... A WORD ABOUT GOD... * REMEMBER, BE HERE NOW... Memories of the Sunday meetings in Bidwell Park 9:00 AM (One Mile) |
remember, be here now... and then later we'll go shopping...
Response to a guestbook posting. A friend was asking about Mom's members from the 1980's... I do know a Robert that has been in the program for many many years. He is tall and thin and works full time at the lumber yard near highway 99. If that's the same person, he's doing well... Stop to think about this... a member that is STILL alive 30 years later... a miracle...
Response to guestbook note:
I see that a visitor has moved from the Bay Area to get away from the hustle and bustle... The Idea was that by moving to Chico it would help get closer to God. That sounds exactly like MY story... I had just gotten fired at my San Jose job for ...drinking on the job... and then got evicted... tried to rent a new place to stay but... EVERYTHING had become astronomically expensive... even a "monks quarters" near San Jose State was out of reach... So, I got on a greyhound bus, with some clothes and my acoustic guitar... It felt so good to be in Chico... I lived there in 1973 and 1974 and then moved back in 1998... I had been dreaming of returning to Chico ever since I got divorced in 1985... So, I am of the opinion that a move to Chico is a GREAT IDEA and could help a person get closer to God... It worked for ME, it took a HUGE quantity of meetings but... so what! 500 meetings a year sure is better than the alternative... As it all turned out, Chico WAS the best place for me at the time... I sold my stock and took a one year vacation to focus on my health. The cost of living in Chico allowed me to have the freedom to focus on AA. I did not have a car so there were no bills for gas, I lived outdoors in Bidwell Park for the entire summer, so there were no bills for rent... If you ever have the chance, go visit picnic area 37 at the redwood grove. My Home... I ate at the Jesus center and rode a bicycle all over town. That caused health because of good balanced food and exercise... Quite a change from working 6 days a week at a stressful job and drinking Safeway brandy and whiskey every day...