Faith crashed on Buffy’s couch.  Or tried to crash on Buffy’s couch.

 

She hadn’t been having much luck sleeping.  Faith had been on the couch for weeks and she hadn’t gone back to Spike’s since the first night.    She hadn’t seen or talked to him since that first night either. 

 

He was around though; he was keeping track of them.  She knew he was pissed because she was avoiding him, but that wasn’t why, Spike was making sure they were okay.  That was just his way, which is fine and good… but stupid.  If he kept it up it would only be a matter of time before B found out that he was here.

 

Everything felt unresolved to her and she just kept waiting for the axe to fall.  Faith didn’t know how long she’d need to stay in Sunnydale, but if that spell didn’t work tomorrow she might be tempted to leave.  So what if she didn’t know why only she and B were having the dreams.  They had spoken about it briefly and besides having Sunnydale in common, there wasn’t much else, just flashes of what they knew and had remembered from the past.  They so didn’t need two slayers in a town where nothing ever happened.

 

Add that to the entire Spike mess and that was it… in a nutshell, Faith was going nuts. 

 

If she dwelled on it too long she’d feel like shit.  She knew deep down Spike didn’t deserve to be ignored and Buffy didn’t deserve to be lied to.  Yes, an omission, but still technically a lie.  Faith didn’t know what else to do.  This was all foreign territory to her.  When it came to Spike, Faith wasn’t sure if she was more afraid of what he would say, or what would come out of her mouth.  Buffy!  That was something entirely different.  She didn’t want to think about that at all.  When the time came it was just going to be plain ugly.

 

Faith sighed and rolled over. 

 

The rest of the gang had crashed hours ago.  Faith had laid there and listened to them.  She heard their footsteps, their murmurings and finally doors closing.  A few creeks here and there, and then all was quiet.  That was a while ago.  And here she was, awake on the fucking couch.

 

If only she could turn her brain off it would be a lot quieter in her head. 

 

“Grr.”  She rolled over again spotting the television.  Maybe she’d turn that on?  It could help her fall asleep; give her something else to focus on.  Faith swung her legs off the couch and stretched her arms out in front of her; she glanced down briefly at her toenails and wondered when the last time she had painted them. 

 

Brain stop already!  She screamed inside her head.  Now she was worrying about her damn toenails.

 

Tap

 

Faith turned her head quickly.

 

Tap

 

What was that?  A knock?  A soft knock?  It was!  And it was coming from the front door.

 

Tap

 

There it was again.  It was a definite knock, a soft one, but a knock nonetheless.  There was no doubt in her mind that something, or someone was there. 

 

He wouldn’t dare! 

 

Faith sprang off the couch and rushed for the door, opening it quickly, but quietly.  “You cannot be that stup….” Her voice trailed off when she realized no one was there.  She stepped out the front door, looking from side-to-side, nothing.  The wind maybe?

 

“What’s going on?”

 

Faith jumped.  Buffy had come down the stairs and was now standing beside her.  Faith hadn’t even heard her.  “Damn, B.  Sneak much?” she asked, slamming the door shut out of total frustration.

 

“Sorry.  Couldn’t sleep, thought I heard something,” she said yawning.

 

“Nothing there,” Faith replied as she headed towards the kitchen, noticing that Buffy had followed her.  “You too?” Faith asked, hiking herself up to sit on the counter and grabbing a cookie from the jar.  “Cookie?” she asked Buffy.

 

Buffy sat at the table and shook her head.  “This no sleeping thing is getting old.  I’m so tired I don’t know if I heard something or I just think I heard something.  But hey!  No sleep, no dreams, right?”

 

“The mojo thing is usually not for me,” Faith said, breaking off a piece of cookie and shoving it into her mouth.  “But at this rate I think I might just be looking forward to it.” 

 

“I know.” Buffy sighed.  “Too bad I wasn’t thinking too clearly or we could’ve done something sooner.  Willow went and came up with a plan.  What kind of leader does that sound like to you?”

 

“I’m not an expert,” Faith began, “but I’m thinking it sounds like a tired one.”

 

Buffy smiled.  “Look at us being all civil.”

 

Faith laughed.  “We’re not at our best.  Exhaustion and all.”

 

Buffy stood up.  “I guess I’ll try again.  Big spell day tomorrow.  See you in the morning.”

 

“Count on it.”

 

Faith was in no hurry to go back to the couch.  It’s not like she’d sleep anyway, but she knew she should try.  She jammed the rest of the cookie in her mouth, jumped off the counter and headed back towards the living room.

 

Tapping again.

 

She went to the couch and fumbled around looking for her shoes.  “This is fucked,” she mumbled quietly, not wanting to disturb Buffy again.

 

This time she walked quietly to the door and opened it slowly.

 

Spike.

 

“It was you before.  I knew it,” she whispered going outside and closing the door quietly.  She made sure she kept her voice down.  “Are you crazy.  Buffy was just down here.  She could’ve seen you - could’ve heard you.  Waiting for a late night revelation or what?”

 

“Come with me,” he said grabbing her arm and pulling her down the sidewalk.  He didn’t say anything until they were at the end of the block.  Faith didn’t bother asking him what was wrong.  She had a pretty good idea what he was going to say.

 

“This may come as a surprise to you,” he began, “but I’m not going to fight with you.”

 

Faith crossed her arms in front of her.

 

“I know there is a hell of a lot going on with you lately.  I know a lot of it is my fault.  I’m going to try to help.”  Now this caught her attention.  “I’m going to tell Buffy.”  He must have seen the shock that registered on her face.  “I’m going to tell Buffy I’m back.  If that doesn’t prove something to you nothing will.”

 

Faith turned abruptly and starting walking away.  “You can’t.”

 

Spike caught up.  “What do you mean I can’t?  I bloody well can and I’m bloody well going to.”

 

Faith stopped and turned towards him.  “If you’re doing it for me, don’t do it.  It’s not worth it.”

 

“It’s not worth it or you think you’re not worth it?” he asked.  “‘Cause if that’s what you’re thinking, you’re wrong.”

 

“That’s not it,” she said stopping and looking at him.  “The timing is off.  Willow’s doing a reveal spell tomorrow.  Now is not the time to distract B and have her pissed off at me.”

 

Spike studied her, apparently considering what she had just told him.  “Okay.  I’ll be quiet… for now.  Just stop avoiding me.”

 

“I’m not avoiding you,” she blurted.  “Not like I can just leave and say, ‘Hey guys, be back, going to see Spike.’ And with all the Scooby Gang togetherness going on, forget it.”

 

“You’re away now aren’t you?”

 

Faith smiled slowly.

 

XXXXX

 

“Where you been?” Xander asked. 

 

Faith had just come in the front door and didn’t really appreciate being on the receiving end of a face full of Xander Harris, so she didn’t answer him.

 

“My lips moved, I think words came out.”

 

“Went for a walk,” she finally said.

 

“Should’ve taken Buffy with you.  From what I could tell she didn’t sleep at all last night.”

 

Faith followed Xander into the kitchen, an uneasy feeling beginning to grow inside her.  “She say anything?” she asked him.

 

“No,” he said reaching for the coffee.  “I just heard her moving around a lot.  Just call me the ‘No Sleep Guy’.  Listening to her pace gave me something to do.”

 

Faith was starting to think that there were way too many people awake last night.

 

“Hey,” Willow said coming into the kitchen.  Her eyes weren’t all poofy and her hair was mussed.  She wandered over to the counter to get herself a cup of coffee.

 

“Or not,” Faith mumbled looking at her.

 

“Or not what?” Willow asked.

 

“By the looks of her I’d venture to guess that ole Willow slept like a baby,” Xander said.

 

“She’s probably the only one who did.” Buffy added coming into the room.  “I tried.  But when I did I kept dreaming about all sorts of Sunnydale stuff.”  She grinned slightly.  “I know I had to sleep a little bit because I thought I saw Spike.”

 

“Who?” Xander asked.

 

Buffy turned towards Faith.  “I dreamt I was looking out my window and there he was, walking down the street… actually, come to think of it he was with you.”  Faith turned hurriedly away and grabbed a coffee cup.  “It was a dream wasn’t it Faith?”

 

“That’s a given,” Faith replied, pouring coffee while she mentally scrambled for something to say.

 

“That’s what I thought.  So I came downstairs to see if you were still awake, and guess what?  You weren’t there.”  Buffy didn’t touch her, but Faith knew she was close.  “I saw you come home Faith.  I was waiting for you.”

 

Faith’s shoulders visibly sagged.  She heard both Xander and Willow’s sharp intake of breath almost in unison.  Without turning around Faith asked Buffy, “What do you think you know?”

 

“That’s the funny thing.  What I think I know and what I know I know are a little different,” Buffy said.  “What I know is that Spike couldn’t be here.  But what I think I know is that somehow Spike is here… and you’ve known all along.”

 

Willow and Xander sat down at the kitchen table.

 

“What I haven’t exactly figured out,” Buffy continued, “is exactly what Spike it was.  Has Spike magically appeared?  Or is this a new Sunnydale version of him?  You can clarify that for me can’t you, Faith?”

 

For a split second Faith thought about fleeing.  The side door was just behind her, with the great outdoors only a few steps away, but she knew that wouldn’t work.  There would be no way in hell Buffy would let her get that far.  Faith would never even make it to the door. 

 

“I’m not the one who’s supposed to tell you.”

 

“Tell me what Faith?”

 

Faith turned around.  She saw the expectation on Buffy’s face and the look of total shock from both Xander and Willow.  She realized she was still holding the coffee cup in her hand.  Faith leaned on the counter, setting the coffee cup down. 

 

“What do you want to know exactly, B?”

 

“I want to know what I saw, Faith.”

 

Faith felt as though she could throw-up.

 

“Waiting Faith,” Buffy pushed.

 

“It was Spike.  The real Spike.  No Sunnydale rip-off.”

 

Buffy was visibly shaken.  She turned away from Faith and stormed out of the room.  Xander and Willow followed her out, barely acknowledging Faith, who stood there momentarily.  Once again Faith did something she didn’t want to do, she followed after them.

 

She found all three of them sitting in the living room. 

 

Buffy and Willow were sitting on the couch.  Willow held one of Buffy’s hands, but wasn’t saying anything.  She probably knew there wasn’t anything she could say to make Buffy feel any better at the moment...  Faith was having the same problem herself. 

 

Xander was sitting in one of the chairs, staring blankly.  Faith could see how tightly his jaw was clenched.  She wasn’t sure if Xander was more pissed off at her deception or the fact that Spike was back.  She guessed it really didn’t matter what she thought anymore.  She wished she were anywhere but here in this living room.  The silence was over-whelming. 

 

“I’m sorry,” she finally said trying to break it.

 

Buffy glowered at her.  “What exactly are you sorry for?  Lying to me?  Breaking the little trust I was beginning to have in you?  Could you narrow it down a bit for me?  I am beyond confused right now, Faith.”

 

With that Faith knew that everything she and Buffy had built over the last few weeks was gone.  Faith was once again an outsider.  It was a feeling she was familiar with.   It shouldn’t surprise her.  She should have expected it. 

 

“I’ll get my things,” she said, turning to leave.

 

Faith heard Buffy before she felt her hands grasping her by the shoulders, spinning her around and punching her in the face.  Buffy pulled her fist back and hit her again in the exact same spot.  Faith stood there, feeling the blood start to trickle out of her nose, but she did nothing to stop it. 

 

“Are you going to hit me again or can I go?”

 

Whatever feeling that had overcome Buffy must have passed.  She said nothing, brushed past Faith and ran up the stairs. 

 

Faith didn’t move until she heard Buffy’s bedroom door slam shut.

 

“How could you not say something?” Xander asked.

 

Faith looked at him.  She saw the same question on Willow’s face.  Knowing she didn’t have an answer that would satisfy either of them, she turned and walked out the front door, leaving more than just her things behind.

 

XXXXX