Subject: Harmonic(a) Convergence
Greetings yet again from your favorite entertainment/social director -
'tis a busy schedule coming up ... in fact I'm ashamed to say I'll be a bit of a harp tramp this weekend ... putting out for 3 different bands on 3 successive nights.
First up - on Friday night we have everyone's favorite rock band "The Moles Bros" playing at Rock-A-Fellas in East Northport. Showtime is 10PM. What a show we've got for you. Dual singers (Paul and Kevin), dual guitars (Mark and Gary) and dual harps (me and that voice in my head).
For directions to Rock-A-Fellas - there's a link to a map down at the bottom of this website:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
Scandalously - I'll be stepping out with another band Saturday night ON THE VERY SAME STAGE! (that would be Rock-A-Fellas) Oh the shame. Ironically, it will be with "The Little Saint Tribe." That's right, Annie Santoriello and the Little Saint Tribe is back - and better than ever. Joe Rendi is back to join her brother Tommy (Big Sloe) Santoriello, Blind Boy 'Brosio and Dave Wise and your humble narrator to play behind the ever pleasing vocals of the lovely Miss Annie (and maybe daughter Sarah?) for an evening of soul, jazz and anything else that may pop into our heads or hearts.
Which brings us to Sunday night. Once again, music at that surprisingly cool Sunday night venue Studio G's (Gunther's) on Main Street down in Northport Village. I'll be joining the "Deno Blues Gang" at the workweek friendly time of 8PM for a few sets of rural blues. If you've never seen the "gang" you should check it out - some right fine music comes outta those boys. Conflict with the Olympic Closing Ceremonies you say? Oh please. Hey, I've been enjoying the bi-bi-annual Winter Fest as much as anybody (does anyone know where I can pick up a set of used curling stones cheap?) but the closings of these things is like a 5 hour super bowl halftime extravaganza. Torture me! You want a nice dance number? Watch Dom DeLouise in the last 10 minutes of Blazing Saddles - blow out a candle and come out to see the show!!!
~ Joe
Sent: Sent: Thursday, February 28, 2002 9:23 PM
Subject: March 2 - Our Regular Drummer
Why would we March 2 a different drummer when we have our man Mitch - who was slammin' last Friday night - and when the drummer is going good - the rest of the band follows. Judging by the crowd that was still with us at 3:30 when we finally called it quits - I can only assume that you guys were as into the show as we were.
Anyway - segue to March 2. BONUS NIGHT!!!! So originally, we were booked at Club Rita for the 9th and 30th in March (I'll pause a minute to give you a chance to get those dates into your calendar or PDA - oh yeah , almost forgot - add the Ides of March (3/15) at Leavy's Last Stop Cafe while you're at it) ....... okay, where was I? Right - Rita had a band cancel on her and guess who she called?
Well - when those other 4 bands turned her down - she finally called Mark and here you go ... what was shaping up to be a boring weekend just got good! 'Cause instead of some lame pizza and video night, you can come on out to see the Fabulous Moles Brothers this Saturday, March 2 at Rock-A-Fellas in East Northport. As always - showtime is 10PM and directions can be found here: http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
Special thanks to everyone who came to see us last Friday - and also to those who made it down to see The Little Saint Tribe on Sat and The Deno Blues Gang on Sun. Nice crowds all 3 nights - keep on supportin' live music and we'll keep on keeping on.
See you Saturday ~ Joe
Sent: Tuesday, March 13, 2002 11:22 PM
Subject: Beware (missing the moles Bros on) the Ides of March
et tu Varon?
Friends, Romans, Moles Bros Fans, lend us your ears. Come to enjoy the Moles Bros, not to praise them. The noble Marcus Varon hath told you that the Moles Bros are ambitious. Ambitious to bring you live rock and roll. If it were so, is it grievous fault to bring you song? The Bros hath brought many songs to Leavy's and whose ears will they fill with music? Does this in the Bros seem ambitious? When you have cried for music, their strings and reeds and skins hath wailed, and their sets are made of sterner stuff. Yes, in this they are ambitious, for Varon is an honorable guitarist and so are the Moles Bros honorable musicians ... and the music men do lives after them and is oft interred with their bones, so let it be with the Moles Bros.
Come and enjoy the Moles Bros on the Ides of March - March 15 - 10PM @ Leavy's Last Stop Cafe on Broadway in Huntington Station - near the LIRR station and across from the indoor tennis facility (and the best place to park). Directions? Click "Show Map" - lower right on this webpage : http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
~ Josephius Harmoniacus Santinoian
Ed Note: With the recent flack about plagiarism raging around Doris Kearns Goodwin and Stephen Ambrose, I feel it would be prudent on my part (especially since I play in cover bands) to point out that the opening paragraph is a rather lame paraphrasing of Marcus Antonius� speech to the Roman crowd from the Shakespeare play "Julius Caesar." I�d also like to point out that I resisted the temptation to make a "salad" reference.
Sent: Tuesday, March 26, 2002 9:17 PM
Subject: Don't Passover These Shows!
Hi Everyone -
Greetings from your holiday entertainment director. Here's what's up for this week. Friday - NOTHING. Take the night off. Sunday is Easter - big time domestic scenes - family dinners, bonnets the whole schmeggie. My advice is to stock up on fun well before then. Here's what we've got for you:
Thursday Night is of course Passover. Many of you (especially us goyem) may not know that the traditional final course of a Seder meal is a nice cocktail. THE PLACE to have that cocktail this year is at Chesterfields in Huntington Village. Providing entertainment for that cocktail will be the ever sublime "Deno Blues Gang" - brandishing about our special brand of rural and traditional blues for your audio pleasure. As a special holiday treat - Chef Patrick Ambrisio will be cooking the baselines for us. Showtime is 10PM and Chesterfields is on the Southeast corner of Routes 110 & 25A - one flight up.
The extra mic you'll see on stage incidentally, will be for the Prophet Elijah - who according to the ancient biblical texts, is supposed to be an amazing backup singer. So maybe he'll show up this year.
Okay - on to the rest of the holiday weekend. So Friday we already agreed we'll all be blowing off - which brings us to Saturday. Night before Easter - plenty of friends will be in town - all out and about - and what better place to hang with 'em than at Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Rd in East Northport. Why there, you ask? Cause you'll be able to see the Fabulous Moles Bros Band rocking the house - starting at 10 and ending sometime after 3.
So come on out to see and hear us. As always, chair dancing is encouraged and remember, even if you stay out way too late and are completely tired and beat for your Easter dinner - the whole holiday is about resurrection! You'll be good as new!
Directions to Rock-A-Fellas are available at the new and marginally improved Moles Bros website:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
Wouldn't it have been great if I had talked Rita into running a special holiday "Easter Bar Shot Hunt" at the show? Shots strategically hidden around the bar in brightly painted shot glasses? What a great idea! Too bad I thought of it just now - way to late to get it off the ground. So it goes.
~ Joe
Sent: Thursday, April 04, 2002 7:30 PM
Subject: Moles Bros Sat Nite
Ponder this:
If time equals money
And money is the root of all evil
Does it not follow that time is the root of all evil?
Let the Moles Bros help you rid your life of evil! Come on in and spend a few hours with the Bros @ Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport � Saturday, April 7th @ 10pm.
Spend a few dollars at the bar and you�ll be attacking evil on 2 fronts!!
Buy your favorite Moles Bro a drink and really speed this thing up!
Directions, of course, are at the bottom right of this wonderful little website (now packed with action photos!):
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
The Moles Bros � helping rid the world of evil!
You�re very welcome.
~ Joe
Subject: heat wave to continue ...
Date: Wed, 17 Apr 2002 22:21:05 -0400
... so how 'bout this heat huh?
Well, despite what the weatherman says, the heat wave ain't over anytime soon baby - 'cause this Saturday (4/20) night, it'll be hotter than ever as the hottest band around hits the stage roundabout 10 PM at Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport.
That's right, you got it ... the Fabulous Moles Bros are back and ready to turn up the heat with burning rhythms, searing licks, scorching solos, blazing vocals, blistering bass runs, and and and �well, that�s about it for my computer�s Thesaurus. Anyway, we (and I don't mean the band "we" - I mean "we" as in claiming multiple personality disorder for tax purposes -- I ... I mean we - went for 9 personal exemptions this year on the old 1040) hope you�ll all come down, bring your body heat and help us really put a strain in the club�s air conditioning system.
See you there and if you're not sure where there is - directions are here: http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
Swelteringly yours,
~ Joe, et al
(okay, so I lied about the Thesaurus running out)
Sent: Wednesday, April 24, 2002 10:41 PM
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject: Bros, Tribes & Gangs
Greetings (yet) again.
Before I get to this week's music ... last Saturday, I get up early 'cause my new couch is supposed to be delivered. Coffee is ready and I turn on the TV. The cable is out ... naturally I try to call the furniture company to cancel the order. I mean the whole concept of the couch is based on watching cable - so what's the point? Few minutes later the cable comes back on - the couch dudes show up, and a cascade of furniture moves ensues. Couch | Recliner | dresser | desk | bookcase | file cabinet | computer desk | and last but not least - 2 small little disks in my lower back.
Anyway, to the music - another one of those "Harmonic(a) Convergence's" are coming up this weekend. 3 Nights, 3 gigs, 3 bands. Just like a few weeks ago ... remember the email with the thinly veiled "cheating/sexual" entendres? Well, the calendar worked out that way again.
Will I let my aching back stop me? NO WAY! The show must go on!
So I don't want to hear any of you whining "Oh, I just can't go out more than one night a weekend anymore." Tough it out people! Better yet, hearken back many years to the words of me band mate Patrick from the Little Saint Tribe: "Your body isn't a temple - it's an amusement park."
Whether you've now been shamed into going out 2 or 3 nights this weekend by the opening paragraphs or just enticed by the prospect of fun, more fun and still more fun - here's the music lineup for the weekend (just give me a moment or 2 here to cut and paste from some past emails ........ okay, here we go):
First up - on Friday night (4/26) we have everyone's favorite rock band "The Moles Bros" playing at Rock-A-Fellas in East Northport. Showtime is 10PM. What a show we've got for you. Dual singers (Paul and Kevin), dual guitars (Mark and Gary) and dual harps (me and that voice in my head).
For directions to Rock-A-Fellas - there's a link to a map down at the bottom of this website:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
Rest yourself up a bit on Saturday and that night (4/27) on the very same Rock-A-Fellas stage at 10PM, "The Little Saint Tribe" will be appearing. That's right, Annie Santoriello and the Little Saint Tribe is back - and better than ever. The lovely Miss Annie will be joined by her brother Tommy Santoriello, Blind Boy 'Brosio (of the above Amusement Park quote), Dave Wise, Joe Rendi and your humble narrator for and evening of soul, jazz and anything else that may pop into our heads or hearts. I just started messing around with a website for this band ... check out the prototype at:
http://www.geocities.com/littlesainttribe
Which brings us to some gang activity for Sunday night (4/28) at that surprisingly cool Sunday night venue Studio G's (Gunther's) on Main Street down in Northport Village. I'll be joining the "Deno Blues Gang" at the workweek friendly time of 8PM for a few sets of rural blues. If you've never seen the "gang" you should check it out - some right fine music comes outta these boys. If you have seen 'em before, I know you'll be back!
No excuses now! See you a few times this weekend. And girls, please note that there will be a sign up sheet at each show for my much needed after gig back massages - so bring a pen and your exotic oils.
~ Joe
Sent: Thursday, May 01, 2002 11:30 PM
Subject: New Venue Sat Nite
Greetings music lovers!
Ahhh and I thought this one was going to be easy.
The Moles Bros are playing a new venue this Saturday night. We're playing at "The Regal Beagle Pub" on Indian Head Road in Kings Park. Yes, the Regal Beagle. No pressure to come up with anything funny this week. The very universe abounds with Janet and Chrissy jokes! The Ropers! (momentary aside: while trying to find some 3's Company pix for a flyer - I chanced upon a website called "The Church of Norman Fell." I did not convert.) Threesome jokes! Gay jokes! Faking being gay jokes! Thighmaster jokes! Don Knotts. Don Knotts for god's sake!!
So a half hour at the computer and all I got is "Bring someone named 'Larry' and get in free."
Then it dawns on me. 3's Company was never really very funny.
Fortunately - the real "Regal Beagle Pub" is actually worth checking out. Especially on a night when your favorite Rock and Roll band "The Moles Bros" (aka - "The Kings of Kings Park") scheduled to appear. Again - that would be Saturday - May 4th @ 10PM. It's a fairly new club - just a few months old - and there seems to be a good regular crowd and from what I've seen, they enjoy hearing live music.
So come out to meet some new people - see some old friends - hear some good music - maybe get lucky - hey, whatever. Directions to the pub (compliments of Yahoo Maps) are available at Moles Bros website - a much better website than any 3's Company related website - trust me: http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
For the map impaired - Indian Head Road is almost exactly one mile east of the Sunken Meadow Parkway entrance on Route 25-A. "The Long River Restaurant" is on the SW corner, despite the fact that there is no long river in the area. Look south and you'll see the LIRR tracks. Cross those tracks and the club is just a few feet down on the right - next to a Blockbuster Video.
If you're coming up Indian Head Road from Jericho Tpk - it shouldn't take much ability in the spatial relations area to realize that if you come to the RR tracks in Kings Park - you've passed the club by a few feet and it's was on the left. If I was 17, I'd add a "duh" here.
Since it's our first time at the club - we'd love good turnout and turn this into a regular gig - hope to see you there Saturday.
~ Joe
This email list is getting pretty big, so I should probably start adding that little junk email disclaimer about "Reply with 'Remove' in the subject line to be removed from this mailing list." So fine. Put "remove" in the subject line, crush my fragile ego, and I'll take you off the list.
Sent: 05/08/02 11:55
Subject: Moles Bros Band - Sat 5/11
Hello again -
Before I get to this week's festivities, let me take a moment to thank all of you who followed us out to the hinterlands of Kings Park to catch our show last Saturday at the Regal Beagle Pub. For those of you who missed it - boy did you miss it! Janet and Chrissy got hammered and put on quite a show on the dance floor ... and yes, a thighmaster was involved.
Anyway, the show went well (naturally, last Saturday being "Kin-tuckee Der-bee Day," we played the Stones' "Dead Flowers") and it seems our performance has inspired talk of having us back at Kings Park's hottest new hot spot. I'll keep you posted on these and other dates (as well as maps to the clubs) at this way too purple website: http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
Unfortunately, our performance has also inspired talk of reopening Kings Park's other infamous "facility" and having us spend some time there as well. Has the band name "Shock Treatment" been taken yet?
Back to the Kentucky Derby for a minute. Now, I'm not much of a horseracing fan - sure I'll watch the Derby and maybe the Belmont - but I can't see why even the most rabid racing fan would make such a fuss over this Sunday's event. Mudder's Day?!?!?!?!? Come on ... like I said, I get the Triple Crown events ... lots of history and pageantry and whatnot - but this big deal over horses that like to race right after a heavy rain? I just don't get it.
So, as your self appointed entertainment director, my advice is to blow off this silly "Mudder's Day" thing. No need to call it an early night this Saturday. Have a nice dinner someplace. Catch an early show of "Spiderman" and at 10PM - head over to Larkfield Rd in East Northport to see the return of the Fabulous Moles Bros Band to the stage of Rock-A-Fellas. Hope to see you there. 'nuff said.
(Ed Note: these back to back Spiderman references are for my cousin.)
Before I go. My aching back is much improved. Thanks for all the notes of sympathy. Nice to know that some of you actually read these little pieces. However, even though my back is much better, the "after gig back massage program" was such a success that I plan to make it a regular feature of our shows. A sign up sheet will again be out - so girls, remember to bring a pen and your exotic oils.
'til Saturday I wish you Felicitas!!! (a Latin word meaning "happiness" which I have had occasion to learn recently - oddly enough, through a string of circumstances involving being kicked in the head by a yogi. Go figure.)
~ Joe
Thank you for supporting live music and emoticon free email.
Sent: Wednesday, May 22, 2002 10:38 PM
Subject: Get thee to a laundry
Get thee to a laundry ...
... and wash those shorts, tees and tube tops (ahhh, tube tops) for 'tis the season of exposed skin and time for a little "hot fun in the summertime."
And in 2002, the real summer solstice (who you gonna believe, me or that freebie calendar you've been using) occurs at 10 PM, Saturday, May 25th - not coincidentally, the exact moment the original "Summer in the Suburbs" boys, aka, the Moles Bros, hit the stage of Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport - getting the "backs of their guitar necks dirty and gritty" so you can kick your summer off right with a great night of Rock 'n Roll.
If that's not enough for you ... come out to see what will happen first ... Gary ending a song with one of his patented cymbal catches or a band member yelling "Sharon!"
See you there ... and if you don't know where there is, directions can be found at this ever expanding website:
http://geocities.com/molesbros
... and while at this "webb-site", follow the trail to find the new "Best of emails" page. Hint: start with the faqs ma'am, nothing but the faqs ma'am.
~ Joe
Sent: Thursday, June 06, 2002 10:37 PM
Subject: Moles Bros - Sat 6/8
Greetings!
After a brief one week hiatus, the Fabulous Moles Bros are back in action and your weekend can once again be filled with joy and meaning!
But before I get to the particulars of this week's fun fest, allow me a moment to open up the old Moles Bros mailbag. Our website is constantly bombarded with emails containing some variation of the following question, which I've taken the liberty of paraphrasing for you:
When you guys play a Rolling Stones song, I'm amazed at how much Gary sounds like Keith Richards. How does he do it?
While we've all heard the rumors about Keith Richards cleaning himself up by getting all his blood changed, most of you probably think this is just another silly urban legend. Let me assure you ... this is NOT an urban legend. Keith does indeed often have this procedure done ... and Gary buys the old blood!!
... and now it is mercifully time to close up the old mailbag and get back to this week's show.
Forget the overpriced pay-per-view heavyweight fight between that English tart Lewis and the ear biting psycho boy Tyson - this Saturday (6/8) at 10PM the real world heavyweight champs - The Moles Bros Band aka "The Lords of Larkfield" will be entering the ring at Rock-A- Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport - and you can get ringside seats without a cover charge!
As always, directions to the show can be found at the following website - where incidentally, you can also find answers to other frequently asked questions by clicking on the yellow FAQ's icon.
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
See you at the show.
~ Joe
PS: Our legal department has advised us to add the following disclaimer. "Any vampires planning to attend the show should consider yourselves warned as to the current status of Gary's blood."
Sent: Thursday, September 26, 2002 9:33 PM
Subject: Fri 9/27: Moles Bros and the Economy
Hello yet again!
Let's face it. Despite nightly proclamations of recovery - we all know the economy is in the old crapper and for most of us, money is tighter than it's been for years. We've all got to spend more wisely - especially our entertainment dollars.
So what to do this weekend? Well, the Rolling Stones "Licks" tour comes to Giant Stadium in NJ on Saturday. Let's check out what tickets are going for on ebay shall we?. There's a pair on the floor going for $1,500. What else - ahh - there's a pair in the 300's behind the stage for $225 and another pair of 300 level nosebleeders going for $450 and the bidding isn't over!
Are those numbers in your budget this month?
So what else is out there for you?
This Friday (9/27 - 10pm) the Moles Bros "Vicks" tour (as in Vapo Rub - half the band is finally getting over the cold that's been going around) comes to Rock-A-Fellas at 10pm on Larkfield Rd in East Northport. A pair of tickets will cost you NOTHING!!!! A round of drinks for you, your date and a couple of friends will cost you less than a hot dog at Giant Stadium.
Need more convincing?
In honor of the Stones coming to town, we'll be doing at least a full set of Stones material Friday night and although everybody in the band is much younger than Mick - none of us will be wearing spandex pants. Intimacy? Every spot in the bar is closer to the stage than the front row in the Meadowlands and there won't be any security people to stop you from chairdancing. Hell, buy me a drink and you can probably talk me into letting you sing backups with us on "Dead Flowers"
So come down to see the band - it's the fiscally responsible thing to do!
~ Joe
PS: In keeping with the theme of economic sensibility - so you shouldn't waste gas - directions to Rock-A-Fellas are available at our website - along with a recycled comedy bit. In case you missed it last time - I've stretched the comedy budget and am rerunning the John Edward "Guest Psychic Pre-Review" of our upcoming show. Check it out at: http://geocities.com/molesbros
Sent: Thursday, October 03, 2002 11:39 PM
Subject: Moles Bros Sat 10/5
Greetings once again from your friendly entertainment director and financial advisor,
Ahh - stocks still tumble. Last week, I tried to help you stretch your entertainment dollars in these tough times. Some of you took my advice and came down to our show and had a great low cost evening. Few days later, end of the month rolls around and I bet you had the shekels to pay those bills - or at least most of 'em.
Some of you went the other way. Paid the big vig for those Stones tickets on eBay. Now you're almost broke and what did you really see? Sure the Stones still got it - but was a cranky 60 year old Mick singing "HEY - YOU KIDS - GET OFFA MY LAWN" worth all that money?
Okay, take a big cleansing breath. Don't let those money woes start you up for your 20th Nervous Breakdown. There's another guaranteed, no cover, cheap night out on tap for this weekend. Hey - it's October - the best month to be in New York - and therefore time for "Roctober Fest!"
The Fabulous Moles Bros Band will be realin' and a'rockin' in the first weekend of "Roc"tober, Saturday night (10/5 -10PM) at, quite appropriately, Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport. Yankees will be on the tube and the big hits will be coming from your favorite band.
See you at the show
~ Joe
PS - as always directions to the club are available on our website - and while there's no new bits this week - there's plenty of old material up there you might have missed the first time around:
http://geocities.com/molesbros
PSS: Since I didn't do anything new on the website this week - let me try to make it up to you. In a year long experiment, a British research psychologist has determined that this is the world's funniest joke. I bring it to you here:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: 'My friend is dead! What can I do?'
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: 'Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.'
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: 'OK, now what?'
Sent: Friday, November 08, 2002 12:06 AM
Subject: Deno Blues Gang - Sun 11/10
Hi Kids!
Sorry, but no Moles Bros gig this weekend. We realize this may cause widespread depression among the "I don't care how old I am, I'm still going out to see a band this weekend" crowd - but you can't let it get you down.
Remember - if you're having trouble coping with the despair - there is no shame in seeking out some help. Dr. Phil (who was once married to Oprah you know) has his own show now on channel 2. Hey, even Tony Soprano sees a shrink.
Speaking of Tony - I know Sunday night has become "Sopranos" night - but after the void of a weekend without music and a few sessions with Dr. Phil - the best thing to do for your psyche and soul this Sunday is set the VCR for 9PM HBO and come down to that surprisingly cool Sunday night live music venue - Studio G's (Gunther's) on Main Street down in Northport Village. I'll be skipping out on Tony's gang and bringing the harps down to join the "Deno Blues Gang" at the workweek friendly time of 8:30 PM for a few sets of rural blues.
If you've never seen the "gang" you should check it out If you have seen us before, we know you'll be back! For those of you who've bought the book "VCR's for Dummies" and never read it - remember that The Sopranos will be on like 14 more times this week so come out to see the band!
~ Joe
Sent: Thursday, November 14, 2002 11:36 PM
Subject: Bookend Gigs - Fri 11/15 & Sun 11/17
Greetings yet again from your friendly purveyor of fun and entertainment -
So, if you took my advice last week, you hit the jackpot - saw a great performance of the Deno Blues Gang at Gunther's and when you got home - watched Tony whack Ralphie with the benefit of a rewind button for a few "Sopranos" instant replays. So now we're all going to trust my judgement, right?!?
Okay, your weekend of merriment starts Friday night at 10 PM when the Kings of Rock and Roll and the Emirs of East Northport, aka The Fabulous Moles Bros Band, take the stage for your aural pleasure. That'll be at Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Rd in East Northport - where chair dancing is always encouraged. If you didn't learn your lesson from last week and go to check out another show earlier in the evening - when it's done and you're still struttin' - remember that we'll be playing till 2:30 - or even later if we're still havin' fun.
Sorry - but Saturday - no gigs. Your might want to rest up for Sunday - but if you must go out, take in a movie. This week's pick would be "8 Mile" starring Eminem. Personally, I'm a huge fan of candy in a leading role and rumor has it that this is the sweetest performance since the Oscar winning turns by Raisinettes in "Blazing Saddles" and Reese's Pieces in "ET."
Which brings us to Sun-day, Sun-day Sun-day (remember those old "Raceway Park" radio ads?) - when it's once again time to set the VCR to tape the Sopranos (9PM - HBO) and come down to that surprisingly cool Sunday night live music venue - Studio G's (Gunther's) on Main Street down in Northport Village - where this week I'll be playing with a band so new we ain't even got a name yet.
I invite you to join myself, Joe Rendi, Pat Ambrisio, Dave Wise and Tommy Johnson (nee: Tommy Santoriello) at the workweek friendly time of 8:30 PM for a night of blues - along with some other favorites mixed in. If this show goes well, we just might keep it going and have to come up with a name ... early returns have "The Tommy Johnson Blues Band" leading - but CNN says it's still too close to call..
According to blues legend, Tommy Johnson sold his soul to the devil for the ability to sing and play guitar. This was much better than the deal I made years ago late one night when I signed on for 2 packs of Marlboros and half a bag of Doritos. So it goes.
Anyway, please come to check us out - and maybe even suggest a name. Directions to both venues are available at this wildly entertaining website: http://geocities.com/molesbros
See you at the shows - and as always, thanks for supporting live music.
~ Joe
Sent: Wednesday, December 18, 2002 11:07 PM
Subject: Moles Bros Xmas Fest Sat 12/21
Well, it's almost here. NGD as my friend Jerry calls it. National Goyem Day. Christmas.
... `tis the season to be stressed out - fa la la la la - la la la la
Man. Thought I was done with my shopping and just discovered I was ripped off. Late one night after a gig, I was watching TV and ordered a few copies of "Afghan Girls Gone Wild" as presents for the guys in the band. Just checked it out on the VCR and while the Afghan girls do get drunk and lift up their burqas - they're all wearing jeans and tee shirts underneath! Looks like it's out to the stores again ...
So what have you been up to since the last Moles Bros gig - when we played till about 3:45am `cause the place was so packed and frenzied? I can hazard a guess ... shopping, xmas cards, decorating, office parties, baking, shopping, cooking, more shopping, post offices, malls, wrapping, more office parties, still more shopping .........
Makes you want to plop down on Santa's lap and give out a long and loud brain cleansing - ARRGGGHHHHH
Just might be high time to get in touch with your selfish self and take a break from the madness. Be ready for Saturday night - `cause that's when the Fabulous Moles Bros Band will take the stage to host Rock-A-Fellas' annual Christmas Party. Now this is not some "be on your best behavior" holiday social obligation. It's a chance to get out for a few hours and forget your cares, dance on chairs, enjoy the bar's wares, return flirty stares ... ahhh, I better stop here before I pull out the rhyming dictionary. You get the point.
We'll hit the stage at 10pm. We know a few Christmas tunes and promise not to try to slog our way though them until really late when you won't care how they sound. This is just the break you're needing - some good old rock and roll at Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in merry old East Northport.
Directions to the club are on our website, which is all decked out with a holiday contest and a special Christmas Pinup Girl by the legendary Gil Elvgren. Here's the address:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
A Merry Christmas Party for all and for all a great night. You're welcome if you've been nice. Really welcome if you've been naughty ... and girls, if you've been especially naughty, you might get what you always really wanted for Christmas ... a cheap tawdry affair with a harmonica player.
Hope to see you at the party - to paraphrase that jolly old fat bastard St. Elvis - it'll be a blue Christmas party without you.
~ Joe -- whose birthday is Saturday. 39 with a few years experience but very immature for my age.
Sent: Thursday, January 02, 2003 10:49 PM
Subject: Moles Bros Kick off 03 on 1/4
Well - we made it. Got through another holiday season - and another year.
Yes, another year older - and supposedly a tad bit wiser.
So what did you do this New Year's Eve? Overspend for a lame act and a bad dinner? Or worse yet, did you decide to spend this one at home - for Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve Bandstand?
Great idea huh? What a show. Wait for the ball to drop. Oh yippee. By 11:20 it was time to turn on the oven and blow out the pilot light. So much for having gotten wiser.
Okay, the year got off to a bad start. It's not too late to turn it around. But you better start NOW before a trend is set. The 1st weekend of the year is near and you've got to get out for some real cheer - the kind you know and hold so dear ...
It's time to Rock and Roll baby.
Lucky for you - the Fabulous Moles Bros Band light the marquee for the 1st Saturday of 03. Showtime is 10PM and the place is Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport. As always - directions to the club are on our website - this week featuring a new Gil Elvgren PinUp Girl painting. The theme is "Get ready to shake it." Click this and enjoy:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
See you at the show.
~ Joe
PS - Just out of curiosity - how many of you got or gave a Jaguar or Lexus for Christmas this year?
Sent: Wednesday, January 15, 2003 11:09 PM
Subject: Moles Bros Band - Sat 1/18 - Reality Bites
Oh Boy -
We really need a new manager.
A few weeks ago he tries to get us a TV gig. Figured we'd be a natural for the new "Celebrity Mole" series - what with the name and all - and gets us a guest shot as the band in a bar scene on an episode. We're all set to head off to Hawaii until we find out who the celebs are: Stephen Baldwin, Corbin Bernsen, Kathy Griffin, Kim Coles, Michael Boatman, Erik von Detten and Frederique. Like we wanna get associated with these losers - so we pull the plug on that one.
Here's what he dreams up for this weekend. "Joe Rockstar." He's rounding up 20 girls to come down to the show - which by the way is Saturday (1/18) 10PM at Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport - under the pretense of our being a big time rock band on the "funky small bar" leg of a multimillion dollar tour. They will then all vie for the attention of Kevin, our lead singer, who's supposed to find some reason for eliminating them one by one.
I hung up on the idiot at that point - but I'm assuming they were told the winner gets to go off with Kevin and trash some swanky hotel suite somewhere. Sadly, much like our "Joe Millionaire" counterpart, all the guys in the band were making more money playing gigs at Chelsea's or Garvin's in Huntington's heyday back in 1979. Oh well...in true sideman tradition, I'll guess I'll just wait to see what the lead singer's rejects are like...
Anyway - come down to see the girls - I mean the band. Directions to the show - along with a new Gil Elvgren PinUp Girl - are available at our ever popular website - ever popular 'cause I don't let our manager get his grubby hands anywhere near it:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
You really should come to see us off. Right after the show we're headed overseas for a small tour. Our manger said he can't tell us where exactly we're playing - but that it's a gig he got through a government contact. Says we should dress for warm weather and that we're gonna be the opening act for some band named "Hans Blix and the Weapons Inspectors." Never heard of them. Supposedly they're big in Sweden - and what a cool name for a band.
This better be a good gig or his ass is so fired.
~ Joe
PS - on a serious note. For those of you on this growing list who count them amongst your friends - please take a moment to have a good thought for Tommy, Allen and Annie Santoriello, who lost their Mom this week. Such a sauce that woman could make! Love you guys.
Sent: Thursday, February 13, 2003 9:43 PM
Subject: Valentine's Night Love-in with the Moles Bros
Ahhh - Valentines Day. A holiday to celebrate love.
Love - that complicated and many splendored thing. Oh, the wondrous words that have been written about it - the paintings painted, the songs sung, the plays played, the films filmed ...
But girls - there is one thing, that despite your grand romantic wishes, does not come with cupid's arrow ... no matter how deep our love for you WE DO NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO READ YOUR MIND. If you want that perfect something, "He should just know" is just setting yourselves up for disappointment. So lets try something different this year shall we?
TELL US WHAT YOU WANT !!!!!!
Tonight - before it's too late - call and tell your sweetheart: "If your going to give me goofy underthings - you better also include some flowers, a box of chocolate truffles (not some shallow Russell Stover sampler) and a nice piece of jewelry. I also want to go dancing - SO TAKE ME OUT TO SEE OUR FAVORITE BAND."
Fortunately, for your romantic pleasure, the Fabulous Moles Bros have planned an evening of "Love Songs, Nothing But Love Songs." That's right - nothing but love songs - all night long ... unless we happen to run short of love songs - at which point we'll do some other songs that we love to play - including some new songs by Humble Pie, J. Geils, Allman Bros and the Beatles.
That's right - we love you so much we actually rehearsed.
So if you're coming out for that perfect date - or single and heading out to kindle new sparks - the Love-In starts 10PM - Friday 2/14 at Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport. Directions to the club - along with a special Valentine's Day Gil Elvgren PinUp Girl - are at this wildly amusing web site:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
And as a extra Valentine's Day treat - I whipped up a special webpage for you. You probably now have the items in stock:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros/romanticthingstodowithducttapeandplastic
Much love - and thanks for loving live music.
~ Joe
Sent: Thursday, February 20, 2003 10:19 PM
Subject: Moles Bros Band Sat 2/22
Hope you all enjoyed our special Valentine's Day show last week ... and before you know it ... the Moles Bros have another holiday to share with you ... two in fact - since we'll be starting the show on Saturday night and spilling over to Sunday.
Now I'd always remembered honoring our Presidents on Monday and being done with it - but according to all the circulars I got in the Sunday papers - seems we now celebrate Presidents' Week. So lets take a moment to follow the line of succession to see just who we should be paying homage to this Sat and Sun:
Mon - Presidents' Day
Tues - Vice Presidents' Day
Wed - Speaker of the House Day
Thurs - President Pro Tempore of the Senate Day
Friday - Secretary of State Day
Sat - Secretary of the Treasury Day
Sun - Secretary of Defense Day
Okay - so we've got Treasury and Defense. To get us all on the same page here as to just who we'll be performing our little tribute to, someone finally realized that playing right field for the Yankees doesn't necessarily qualify you for running the US economy, so Paul O'Neill was replaced recently by John Snow - a very fitting name after this week's "Blizzard of `03."
Defense is, of course, run by Donald Rumsfeld - also very fitting as I'll probably drink way too much rum at the gig.
As for an appropriate tribute ...hmmm ... looking over our set list - to honor the present state of the economy, I think we'll do a special rendition of the Stones version of "Ain't Too Proud To Beg." John Lee Hooker's "Boom Boom" should cover Defense nicely.
So come down to join the festivities, all starting at 10PM, Saturday Night (2/22) at Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport. As always, directions to the show, as well as a new Elvgren PinUp Girl, are available on this occasionally amusing website:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
Hope to see you at the show.
~ Joe
Sent: Thursday, February 27, 2003 11:07 PM
Subject: Moles Bros Band Sat 3/1 - In Like A Lion
... in like a lion and all that ... just a few short weeks and this long hard winter will be over. I actually like winter - but enough is enough already.
Speaking of enough is enough - what has come to an end are the February TV Sweeps. Say good night Gracie to a month of hideously exploitive television: Michael Jackson, Joe Millionaire, Bachelors and Bachelorettes, specials, Saddam interviews, Michael Jackson, Preppie Murderer interviews, Baretta interviews, Michael Jackson, Grammies and sadly ... Buffy.
Good night Gracie.
Unfortunately, if you're looking to kill yet another cold Saturday night in front of the tube - guess what? It's now rerun season! It's time for some real live first run entertainment. So be a lion and spring into spring a few weeks early - bundle up one more time and head out to East Northport where you'll warm up to the hot sounds of the Fabulous Moles Bros Band - using our duct tape to tape down wires and taking the stage March 1st, 10PM at Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road.
As always, directions to the club, as well as a new Gil Elvgren painting AND a link to our new "World Tour" sponsors (special thanks to Cousin Charles for the source material) are available at this hipper than hip website:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
As always, thanks for supporting live music - see you at the show.
~ Joe
Sent: Wednesday, March 12, 2003 10:08 PM
Subject: Moles Bros Band - Friday 3/14
Hi -
So here we are getting ready for what may just be the Moles Bros Band's last pre-war show. Whether your fer it or a'gin it - looks like it's gonna happen. Yesterday, the UK drew up a list of conditions for Saddam to avoid war - which in addition to disarming, now also includes his having to make a 40 foot putt. Then, the Air Force test fired their largest conventional weapon - a 21,000 lb bomb which they are calling "The Mother of All Bombs."
Obviously, the Air Force missed us trying Humble Pie's "Hallelujah" 2 weeks ago.
I certainly don't know when this is all going to begin - but I do know something that is coming to an end. This is the last Friday of winter. It was a rough one. I'm sick of my boots and coat and snow shovel and I've got potholes in my neighborhood so deep that the town is issuing fishing permits for them.
But we made it. Now it's time for you to defy Old Man Winter one more time and show him that we northeasterners are tougher than he is. Friday night (3/14 - 10PM) - throw on that coat one more time, lace up the boots, warm up the car and head out to Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport and join the Moles Bros Band to say goodbye to the season. Rich is even going to take a whack at singing "I'm So Glad" to celebrate.
As always, directions to the show are available at this mildly entertaining website - along with a thematically appropriate Gil Elvgren PinUp Girl. Make sure you check out these fabulous classic paintings - I don't know how long I can keep posting them as I may have to donate them to the war effort.
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
Hope to see you at the show.
~ Joe
PS: Paper Bag - the Movie, the video of the amazing 2002 - 25th Anniversary show by the World's Longest Running 70 Piece Rock Band will premier Monday, April 21st - 8PM at Leavy's Last Stop Cafe on Broadway in Huntington Station. Directions to Leavy's are available on the Moles Bros website.
Sent: Wednesday, March 19, 2003 11:14 PM
Subject: Moles Bros Band - Sat 3/22
Well,
I was going to open with something innocuous like:
Spring Has Sprung
The Grass is Riz
I Wonder Where
The Moles Bros Is?
... but it would appear that last week's email was a tad more prophetic that I thought it would be. Looks like the 3/14 gig was indeed our last pre-war show. As I write, Saddam's deadline has come and gone and "Operation Iraqi Freedom" has begun. Life During Wartime ... what to do, what to do?
Well, the NCAA is going ahead with the tourney, the Academy Awards are still a go - and since the Moles Bros are up for an Oscar this year (Best Score - our drummer Mitch and a redhead at a gig last August) - who are we to break "the show must go on" tradition?
Unfortunately, it seems that in modern warfare, everyone is fair game ... everyone a potential target. In a sense, that makes all of us soldiers. To help us all during these stressful times - the Mole Bros band will launch our own little "USO Tour" just for you this Saturday night (3/22- 10PM) at Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport.
So don't be like Saddam this Saturday night, thinking to yourself, "I'd be much better off drinking and dancing at the Moles Bros show than sitting home alone getting bombed."
Hope to see you at the show - as always, directions to the gig are on our website, along with a smattering of comedy, including a visualization of the gag in the last paragraph:
http://geocities.com/molesbros
Hope to see you at the show - till then - be well.
~ Joe
Sent: Thursday, April 03, 2003 12:21 AM
Subject: File This - Moles Bros Band - Sat 4/5
Greetings -
I've been doing these little band email vignettes for about 2 1/2 years now and I suppose that in doing so - I've become, in some very small way, a "media outlet." As such, I am obligated, under unwritten media rules, to give tax advice during my last pre-April 15th communication. That would be tonight - so here we go:
You want the traditional useless drivel like "get receipts for your charitable contributions" watch FOX and CNN. This tax tip is a winner and I've been using it for years now. Multiple personality disorder! I'm up to 9 personal exemptions this year. In addition to the obvious tax savings implications - you also gain the year round benefit of being able to drive in the HOV lanes on the Expressway.
My next tip is a bit more serious. Be VERY careful on your NY State return this year. The state's finances are a mess and they are getting really tough. In fact, this week I stopped off at a candy store to buy one of those "Win For Life" lottery tickets - you know - where you win $1,000 a week for life - well, I had to sign a "Do Not Resuscitate" order before they'd sell it to me.
But back to the business. We'll be taking what passes for a stage at Rock-A-Fellas, on Larkfield Road in East Northport this Saturday (4/5 @ 10PM). Now often during these pieces, I try to entice you with hints of a little T & A at a Moles Bros show. This week - keeping with the tax season theme, come down for some T & E.
Ahhhh, T & E. Nothing makes an accountant quiver like Travel and Entertainment expenses. Here's what we'll do for you. During a break, buy any member of the band a drink and we'll listen to you talk about your job and/or business for a few minutes. The whole night is a write off! Thus, my third tax tip this year - is to enjoy a tax deductible evening for you and yours with the Fabulous Moles Bros Band.
Hope to see you at the show. As always, directions to the club, along with some new corporate sponsors are available at our mildly amusing website:
http://geocities.com/molesbros
Many happy returns ~ Joe
PS: Paper Bag - the Movie, the video of the amazing 2002 - 25th Anniversary show by the World's Longest Running 70 Piece Rock Band will premier Monday, April 21st - 8PM at Leavy's Last Stop Cafe on Broadway in Huntington Station. Directions to Leavy's are available on the Moles Bros website. Set list is just about done and hopefully rehearsal CDs will be ready by movie night.
Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2003 1:13 AM
Subject: Moles Bros - 4/18 - Make It A Great Friday
Good News -
Your favorite band is back from Iraq. That's right, the war effort has been going so well that the Fabulous Moles Bros are back in the country straight from our USO "Axis of Evil" Tour, just in time to pay our taxes and to play a special show just for you this holiday weekend.
Oy. What a trip. Still picking sand out of my harps. Anyway, the troops seemed to like us and we had a great opening act - a comedian. His best joke: "You know that guy we bombed a few weeks ago - 'Chemical Ali.' The CIA was going through some captured documents - and discovered his previous name: 'Gaseous' Clay." Got big laffs.
Ahh - but now we're back home and rarin' to make this Good Friday a Great Friday for you. The Moles Bros Band - aka the Barons of Baghdad - will kick off the Easter Weekend - 4/18 at 10 PM. Plenty of your friends will be back in town - all out and about - and what better place to hang with 'em than at Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport. Dress up in your Easter finest and get ready for chair dancing Easter "Bunnies" gone wild, bar shot hunts and lots of great rockin and rollin.
Best yet, remember, this is a holiday about resurrection - so even if you overdo it this weekend - you don't have to worry about being too tired and beat for Easter dinner - you'll be good as new come Sunday morning!
As always, directions to the club are available on our website - along with some souvenirs from Gulf War II at the very bottom of the page - two photos of the world's greatest spin doctor - "Baghdad Bob" in action. (actually, thanks to Cousin Charles for those.) Also, the army has graciously returned some of our PinUp Girls from use overseas - so there is a brand spanking new Gil Elvgren painting on the site as well - which for those of you who haven't memorized it yet - and god knows why you would - is located at:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
Yo yo yo - see you at the show.
~ Joe
PS: Paper Bag - the Movie, the video of the amazing 2002 - 25th Anniversary show by the World's Longest Running 70 Piece Rock Band will premier Monday, April 21st - 8PM at Leavy's Last Stop Cafe on Broadway in Huntington Station. Directions to Leavy's are available on the Moles Bros website. Rehearsal CDs and tickets should be ready by movie night.
Sent: Thursday, May 08, 2003 9:53 PM
Subject: Moles Bros Band - Sat 5/10
Yo -
Yao
Yo -
No - yao, my aching back
Gotta talk to my yoga teacher about this: Yoga is supposed to develop and expand the connection between the body and the mind - but I must be missing something. While I love to run around with my little nieces and nephews in my sister's backyard - apparently my body does not have the same affection for said activity - as evidenced by the 3 weeks of spasms ravaging my back.
But fear not. The show must go on ... and that show happens to be the Fabulous Moles Bros Band this Saturday night (5/10 - 10 pm) @ Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport. It'll be tough going - but I'll give it my best shot. However, what I will have to do is re-institute the "post gig back rub sign up sheet" at the show - so girls - remember to bring a pen and your exotic oils.
Incidentally, one of those aforementioned nieces, a 2 1/2 year old, told me this week to "Remember that this Sunday is Mummy's Day, Unk Joe." Are we out of minds in this country with holidays or what? Now we have a holiday to honor long dead Egyptian Kings????? What am I supposed to buy for this one - a card or some gauze? And who do I give it to? Anyway - the point is - don't let this upcoming non-holiday make you waste a good Saturday night - come on out and see the show.
As always - directions to the club are available at our band's clever little website - along with a special promotional appearance by the always beautiful and vivacious Desiree - aka the "Dez Monster" as she is known amongst her Paper Bag brethren. Check her out at:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
Yo - see you at the show.
Yaouch ~ Joe
PS: Paper Bag Update: Set list is set and musicians all over North America are working to get it all just right for the 26th Annual. Same as it ever was - last Thursday in June - the 26th. Hmmm - 26th on the 26th. Any numerologists out there - go nuts. If anyone needs tickets (they are cheaper in advance) feel free to email me back and we'll make arrangements.
Sent: Thursday, May 29, 2003 8:57 PM
Subject: Moles Bros Band - Fri - 5/30 - You call this summer?
To recap:
Rough winter.
Lousy spring.
So what kind of start does the summer get off to last weekend? No parties, no BBQ's, no beaches, no suntanning, no young girls in halter tops - just rain, cold, rain, cold, and more rain. I'm still wearing sweatshirts and much to the chagrin of women everywhere - have yet to don a pair of shorts. It's enough to make you want to start drinking heavily ...
... and what better place to start drinking heavily than at that world renowned watering hole - Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport - where you can drown your weather related miseries to the sounds of the somewhat waterlogged but always fabulous Moles Bros Band when we take what passes for a stage at 10PM this Friday night (5/30).
Directions to the club, along with a new scantily clad Elvgren PinUp girl to promote the gig, are available at our charming little website:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
See you at the show. If it's raining when you get there - and why should we assume it wouldn't be - try not to drip on my mic cable. I'd prefer that any Friday night sparks be flirtatious ones only.
Thanking you in advance.
~ Joe
PS: The Bag doth approachith! The 26th Annual Paper Bag - that amazing assemblage of 70 musicians and 200 or so other gadabouts who help put on the show - are getting ready to do it for you again. This year: Rubber Soul, Girls Gone Wild (songs for our girl singers) and Mr. Rogers Meets Ozzie. Same as it ever was - last Thursday in June (the 26th) at Mulcahy's in Wantagh. If anyone needs tickets (they are cheaper in advance) feel free to email me back and we'll make arrangements.
Sent: Thursday, June 05, 2003 10:20 PM
Subject: Moles Bros Band - Sat 6/7 - Oh the Shame
Greetings from the rain forest -
The good news is I'm not going to complain about the weather. For those of you on this little reading list and not in the northeast - be it known that it's not like we're in for any good weather or anything - it's that we're not just sick of the rain - we've all gotten to the point where we're even sick of complaining about it. So no more whining outta me ... at least on that subject.
But I do have some bad news about the Moles Bros gig this Saturday night (6/7 - 10:30 pm at Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport), and frankly, me and the boys are more than a little embarrassed about it. We're not going to have our regular drummer for this week's show. Seems that Mitch got caught red handed corking his drum sticks and is suspended for a week. We just hope that in the long term, this incident won't effect his voting for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
Fortunately, we've turned this potential disaster into something special for you. Subbing for Mitch this week on drums, as he rides out his suspension, is Northport legend and borderline "Rock God" Frank Funaro. Yes, that's right - THAT "you know em, you love em, you gotta have em" Frank Funaro - famed for, among other things, his present gig with the band "Cracker" as well as past work with the critically acclaimed "Del Lords" and painting "Funt 69" in giant friendly letters high atop the East Northport water tower some 30+ years ago.
For those old friends who may have lost contact w/ Frank or for you girls with a thing for drummers (which is something I could never fathom, they should be all over the harmonica players) - you can check him out at his website:
http://www.iplaythedrums.com
Directions to the club, along with a new, even more scantily clad (?!?!?) Elvgren PinUp girl to promote the gig, are available at our cozy and unassuming little website:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
So this Saturday night, after you watch the Belmont (with my endless parade of lame jokes - how could I not be rooting for a horse named "Funny Cide" to win the Triple Crown), come on out for a few hours of great music. I know, I promised not to whine - but the weather has been bleak and I'm sure you could all use a good night out! I promise you - soon we will be packing away our sweatshirts and breaking out the tees.
Yes, you will soon need to stock up on tees for the summer - but sadly, our marketing dept is out of stock on Moles Bros Shirts - due entirely to the dept's nonexistence - so the best I can do is offer you a line on these timely tees - a genuine Martha Stewart "Dept of Corrections" shirt - available at the following magnificently named website - in all sizes - but only in orange. (Shout out to Ms. Sizzler, "Your favorite color!")
http://www.marthastewartlivinginprison.com
See you at the show.
~ Joe
Sent: Wednesday, June 18, 2003 10:29 PM
Subject: Moles Bros - Fri - 6/20 - By the Time I Get to Order of the Phoenix
Ay-up!
If you've watched the news or picked up a paper this week, you'll know that the long awaited 5th Harry Potter book "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" is set for release for this weekend. If you haven't pre-ordered, you're out of luck - you won't be seeing a copy in bookstores for weeks. What to do?
Providentially, you can still have an enchanting weekend. This Friday night (6/20), make your way to Rock-A-Fellas, on Larkfield Road in East Northport to see those Sorcerers of Sound - the Astounding Moles Bros Band conjure up a night full of spellbinding Rock & Roll. Get there about 10PM - have a bartender mix some magical ingredients in an appropriate cauldron - and by the time the potion starts to take effect - we will make our apparition.
Directions to the club are easy. By rail - obviously just board the evening train on Track 9 3/4. Even easier - toss some Floo Powder in your fireplace - when the flames turn green - clearly speak the word "Rock-A- Fellas" - step into the fire (keep your elbows tucked in) and step out amidst the sizzling sounds of the band.
For you Muggles - directions by car are available at our entrancing little website - along with a thematically appropriate Elvgren PinUp girl - one that I'm certain young Harry would love to play a little "Quidditch" with. Aahhh - talk about a "Golden Snitch" that a "Seeker" could really go for! Point your little magic wand on the following link and give it a click:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
Before I make my disapparation - a error appeared in my last email - Frank Funaro's infamous giant friendly letters high atop the East Northport water tower eons ago actually read "Funt 61." Apologies to Frank and his fans - and also - many thanks to Frank for filling in so admirably on drums with us at our last show. Man - he sounded great and it was a gas gas gas playing with him.
Anyway, time to go - don't make me put a curse on you - I'll expect to see you at the show!
~ Joe
PS: Attention Baggers! What a Drag! The day draws near! The 26th Annual Paper Bag - that amazing assemblage of 70 musicians and 200 or so other gadabouts who help put on the show - are in high gear getting ready to do it for you once again. This year: Rubber Soul, Girls Gone Wild (songs for our girl singers) and Mr. Rogers Meets Ozzie. Same as it ever was - last Thursday in June (the 26th) at Mulcahy's in Wantagh. If anyone needs tickets (they are cheaper in advance) feel free to email me back and we'll make arrangements. Rookies - remember, we urge you to take the next day off.
Sent: Friday, July 11, 2003 12:27 AM
Subject: Moles Bros Band - Sat 7/12 - It's Here!
... so after all that rain, summer has finally arrived ... with a vengeance - 90 + temps and the dreaded 3 H's - hazy, hot and humorless. Personally, I think Mother Nature owed us a little foreplay before the hot and sweaty 90's - you know - a few weeks of 70's and 80's to get us in the mood. Guess I now understand what that old girlfriend of mine was always complaining about ...
Yeah - so summer made it just in time for the big July 4 weekend. Hope you had a great one. The band was off and I was able to see some fireworks and make a few parties. Good parties, fun people - but all in all - it would seems that the mosquitoes had a far better time than I did. Oh, they feasted on me.
I've been 2 cartoon characters all week - Itchy and Scratchy. Big red welts the size of ... well, big red welts. At one of the parties, a woman sprayed me with that Avon crap. If you are at all sensitive to vulgar language, you won't want to be around me the next time I hear someone say, "Skin-So-Soft works better than those nasty sprays with all that DEET."
No it doesn't. Those little blood suckers were biting at my legs like I was slathered with some skeeter version of BBQ sauce. Sure, DEET may kill you by the time you turn 75 or 80 - but I'm worried about making it till Tuesday. No symptoms yet, but West Nile, Malaria, Dengue Fever, SARS, Monkey Pox, MONKEY POX FOR GOD'S SAKE ahhhhhhhhhhhhh .......
Whew -- to quote Tweety Bird "Oooh - I just scthared mysthlf."
Look - we all know that because of the heavy spring rains, this is a banner year for the buggers. Which means it's NOT going to be a banner year for your typical summer activities ... BBQ's, boating, parties, beaches -- bad scene this year. And those outdoor patio bars? Forget it! My advice - say inside.
Now staying inside does NOT mean staying home. You can still go have a great time - just do it in air conditioned and bug free environs. Fortunately, this weekend, you can get some marvelous indoor relief from the heat in just such an enclave. Come down and chill out with the Incredibly Cool Moles Bros Band this Saturday night (10:30pm after the karaoke dudes leave) at Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport.
Directions to the club, along with a thematically appropriate Gil Elvgren PinUp Girl seen "cooling off," are available at this nifty little (and pest free) website:
http://www.geocities.com/molesbros
Hope to see you chillin' at the show.
Insectophobicly yours ~ Joe
PS: Yo Baggers. Hope you 2000 or so audience members had as good a time seeing the show as we 250 had putting it on for you. Rookies - remember we did strongly urge you to take the next day off.
Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2003 11:11 PM
Subject: Moles Bros Band - Fri 7/25 - Birthday Bash
Hello again --
So much going on in the news that it's tough to pick a hook for this week's gig alert. Let's see what we have to work with ... well, looks like we got Saddam's boys Qusay and Uday ... again ... how many times have we killed them now? What are these guys - Kenny from South Park? The Eiffel Tower fire - I know it's trendy to pick on the French these days - but for me - man, their red wine -- I cut 'em a lot of slack.
Of course there's the big Kobe beef -- another athlete in trouble. Do you think it might finally be time for Nike to drop the "Just Do It" slogan? Then again, I could always attach forged documents to this email showing that our drummer Mitch tried to acquire a set of Djembe drums ... from AFRICA!!! Ehhh - but I just did a bit about him corking his drum sticks - I should ease up on the boy.
So with all that to choose from - we obviously go with ... NAKED BAMBI HUNTING!!!!! Yes girls, much to your delight, after this Friday's gig - for a mere $10,000 each - the Moles Bros will get down to sneakers and goggles and for one glorious hour, 2 lucky gals can hunt us through the hills and alleys of East Northport with your paint guns. Thrill and exhilaration will abound as you track the Fab Five and ... and ... and ...
... and I just got an image there ... with the exception of your humble harp player, we're a gruesome enough bunch clothed. That was a really bad idea -- never mind.
A really good idea however, would be to come down to see the fully dressed Moles Bros Band this Friday night (7/25 - 10 pm) as we take the stage for lead singer Kevin's Birthday Rock-A-Thon at Rock-A-Fellas on Larkfield Road in East Northport. That's right - it's Kevin's birthday. We expect an inspired performance - and wisely, Kevin has invited a number of singer friends to come see the show, and maybe sit in for a few numbers, just in case he gets too inspired.
Directions to the birthday festivities are available on our friendly little website - along with a new seasonally appropriate Gil Elvgren PinUp Girl to help promo the show. Here's the address:
http://geocities.com/molesbros
(It has come to my attention that some AOL users can't click through to this link. If that's the case - just copy the link and paste it in your browser window.)
As always - thanks for supporting live music.
Properly attiredly yours
~ Joe
PS: We'll be doing a set or two at Jimmy Myers party - trading off with his band "Sidewinder." If you know Jimmy and are on this mailing list - I think we can assume you'd be welcome. Date is Saturday 8/2 starting around 3pm - rain date 8/3. Hope to see Paper Baggers and friends of both bands there.
Part 2